George Bush & the Village People

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Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

It started off with this email that a known lad sent out, it was a slightly old email in one of my catcher accounts, and sadly for him, he included the sent to email addresses in the TO and CC field of his email, one address stood out, the dopey lad had sent an email addressed to the president at the Whitehouse Shocked

:

Quote:

Subject: PLEASE HELP ME
To: [email protected]

A FREIND,

THIS MAIL MAY COME TO YOU AS A SUPRISE, BUT I TRUST MY MIND AND BELEIVE THAT I AM WRITTING TO THE RIGHT PERSON.

MY NAME IS {xxxxx xxxxx}, I AM 33 YEARS OLD, SINGLE AND POOR ONLY BECAUSE IREFUSED TO ACCEPT AN OFFER FROM MY TOWN PEOPLE AS AN ORACLE PREIST WHICH MY FATHER CONFIRMED AS BEEN INHERITTED FROM THE PAST FATHERS.

I HAVE TRIED MY BEST IN LIFE TO COME UP AS A MAN BUT ALL EFFORT ALWAYS PROVES NOTHING.I WAS MADE TO UNDERSTAND THAT EITHER I FACE THE WORK OR I BECAME MORE WRETCHED.

I HAVE MADE A CONVENANT WITH GOD THAT I MUST LIFT HIS NAME HIGHER MORE FOREVER THROUGH SINGING CHRISTIAN ALBUMS AND SACRIFYING MY LITTLE TALENT IN CHRISTIAN LIFE ACTIVITIES THAN SACRIFYING ORACLE.

THEY SAYS: {DESIRE GOOD ACHEIVED LEADS TO SUCCESS IN LIFE} I NEED YOUR HELP TOWARDS THIS MISSION.

I WOULD LIKE TO ENTER MUSIC SCHOOL,AND AT THE SAME TIME STUDY BIBLE FOR SPIRITUAL UPLIFTMENT.

NB:-READ THIS CHAPTERS IN THE BIBLE AS FOLLOWS:- PSALM 128 AND 127 FOR 7 DAYS AND NIGHT, YOU ARE GOING TO COUNT A BIG BLESSING FROM GOD AND IF TOUCHES YOUR MIND TO REMEMBER THIS POOR SOUL,

FELL FREE TO CONTACT ME THROUGH THE EMAIL ABOVE.

WISHING YOU THE BEST IN LIFE

REMAIN IN GODS PROTECTION AND GUIDIANCE.

YOURS IN SPIRIT .

xxxxx xxxxx

I decided to spoof an email to him from Whitehouse addy and replied to him giving my private email addy:

Quote:

From: [email protected]
Sender's Name: Gxxxxx W Bxxx
To: xxxxx@xxxxxxxx
Subject: Re: PLEASE HELP ME

Dear xxxxx xxxxx,

Thank you for your email, it came to me as a surprise.

I am very interested in learning a lot more about the oracle handed down by your past fathers, is it a very powerful oracle? As the President of the United States of America, I have great power, and such an oracle would be of great use to me in fighting the axis of evil.

I see from your email that you have made a pact with God, well I believe that God has brought us together for the common good of all men on earth, this can only be fate. Like you, I also have a great interest in singing, I am a good Christian man and sing at the White House church service every Sunday, some may say I am not very Christian, but that's only because of my Job as President of the United States of America, a lot of people hate me, but I have no time for those losers, we are the winners, they are the losers. Please tell me in detail, everything you hope to achieve in your life.

When you reply to me, you must only ever use my personal email address, this one:

xxxxx@xxxxxxxx

Never send any emails to my [email protected] address from where I am sending you this email now, that is strictly for presidential use only, and I may not receive your emails as they are strictly monitored by my chief of staff.

Sincerely,

Gxxxxx W Bxxx .

Soon after, he replied to Gxxxxx W Bxxx

:

Quote:

Sir,

Thanks for your mail although is been long i wrote to you.

I Will like to study more about music notes and also will like to have my own personal music Instruments.I worship now with the Holy Family church in Lagos as a chorister and will like to continue to serve God with this talent untill my death since God has given me the talent to serve him with than to Worship the Village Oracle.

I have a cultural group inwhich i am their leader but we dont have money to take this to the level i want it to be.

I am very much happy to hear from because you are the world leader weather the Muslims want it or not,God will give you long life and strenght to fight more against all the terrorist world wide.

Thanks a lot sir, I am very happy to hear from you,

Wishing you Great and Prosperous new year.

Best Regards,
xxxxx

I sent him a reply and asked for some photos of himself and his group:

Quote:

Dear xxxxx xxxxx,

Thank you for your email, happy new year to you and your family as well, I hope you have a prosperous 2007 and beyond, but not if I can help it.

You brought up the subject of muslims in your email, and as you point out, whether they like it or not, I am the most powerful man on this planet, they seem to think I hate them, but they are very wrong, I have many friends who are muslims, only the other day I was at a muslim wedding in the state of Texas, Texas being one of the biggest muslim strongholds in the US of A, and it's also my home state, I am also the secretary of the Texas muslim society.

The wedding was a grand affair, and the bridesmaids looked cute in their black outfits and veils, I even gave the bride away, I had to, she is not a pretty woman and nobody would buy her, none of the muslim related things I do are reported in the press and they think I hate them. But on a more positive note, Saddam was hung recently and he will now be rotting in hell and acting as Satan's bitch, I am sad to see him go, but he was really asking for it, so he got his just rewards, I hope he enjoys it in hell.

xxxxx, please tell me more about the xxxxx xxxxx church in Lagos, and more importantly, I am very interested in learning about the cultural group, of which you are the leader, I just knew from the tone of your emails that you were a leader of men, what does your cultural group do? Do you have any photos of yourself and your group that you can send to me? It would be nice to see who I am talking to.

As a born leader, have you ever thought of running for president in Nigeria, anyone would be better than Obasanjo, he is a crooked man who does nothing for his people, you should run for office and I will help you if you need it, when are your general elections, if I remember correctly, aren't they this summer?

Sincerely,

Gxxxxx W Bxxx.

Laddy has replied to the president, he couldn't have understood the quip in my email where I said I hope you have a prosperous 2007 and beyond, but not if I can help it Very Happy

:

Quote:

My Lord,

Thanks for your mail.
Just as if i am on top of the whole world,Comunicating with PRESIDENT Gxxxxx Bxxx OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.It is a respect to me i mean it.Thanks once more again.I Repeat,Almighty God will give you more strenth to continue your Good works on Earth Amen.

Saddam is gone,He deserved to die after all his worst doing and i pray that such people like him will all be cauth and give the same judgment he got.

Yes i am a Chorister Attached to xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx Festac Town Lagos Nigeria.I like singing to Gods Glory since i have the talent and i thank God for the talent than to worship Village Bushit Oracle that can fetch me nothing to Survive.I am planning to go into my very first Album with my proposed wife to be(She is a chorister too) (an album huh, maybe I can introduce him to L xxxxx Vxxxxx of Cr1m1n@l R3c0rds Inc, to do an upbeat rap version of some god music, hmmm Laughing

) but here in Nigeria,Is the Rich will continue to be richer while the poor will continue to be poorer.Money is all that can move all this waisting Ambition but i beleive Knowing you will make my Dream Come true.I Will send to you by Email Attach A group picture i had with some of My group
members not all but that will let you know whom you are comunicate with.

I cant be able to run for any post here in Nigeria regarding politics.Here the system is so Bad that only the evil ones go for such things.I cant rule Nigeria,I am not a retired General and not only that,I am not well educated and also cant be able to follow up their
Ritualist way before you will be allowed to Context for.

I am intrested in the music Of a thing and will be happy if you can assist me in that.I want to Attend Bible School and will be happy to have a Ministry that will be known as Musical ministry were children who has the talent will be educated more to know.

Once more i thank you for the time you create to attend to me and i pray that Almighty God will give you long life to continue your good ways.

My Regards to you and your family.

Have a nice day,

xxxxx xxxxx

At this point, it was decided that my friend and music producer, L xxxxx V xxxxx, would want them to perform a new version of the Village People's best selling song called, Y.M.C.A, and try to get the lad and his choir dressed up as the Village People whilst singing it on video.

I had not replied to his last email, so he has sent me another long rambling email titled true confession, unfortunately for him, he mentions Pope Benedictus as being the world leader, good job then that I also bait as the Pope, might come in handy later on, as GW knows the Pope very well Laughing

:

Quote:

Subject: True Confession

My Lord,

How are you today once again?Each time i write to you something always strike my mind to let me know that i am one of the Lords chosen one though Difficulties never allow me to concentrate.From the day i was born,I was given the name xxxxx by my parents which means Power of God.I do short name it and answer xxxxx,

My Father is No 1 among three only survival of his parents out of 12 children as according to African Style.I was born to be the very first of My Fathers children.My Grand mother already let me know that Before my father was born to stay,Them his parents went to many Big Oracles to plead for him to stay alive and went into a covenant to dedicate the child to serve them back.My father who is also a fluit player when he was young told me that the fluit is made to worship those Oracle than to abandon them.

I have tried many things in my life both bad and good to succed but very difficult.Many men of God has always told me to work in the way of the Lord but i always ignore their advise.I am 35 now and wonders how i can go back to a seminary school to start a preist hold mission.They will not allow me.I think of the Musical ministry which is sort of Healing people with music.My Father Mr xxxxx xxxxx was among the people that went to Israel on a pilgrimage from Nigeria Troop which saw Gods Mission in our family life history.

I love doing good things for Gods Glory but looking for money has made me at times go against Gods Way to satisfy what i need at a time. (I wonder what he means by that, surely not 419 Shocked

, must ask for clarification Wink

) This is a confession.If here in my country,that things are been done well,At least My parents would have been capable of knowing were i belong ealier than to push me were i dont belong.I started with organising Children for rosary prayers at the age of 4.It has been all my desire to continue with such attitude but my parents never allow me to work were i belong.They prefer me a business man by Then but today i have achieved nothing in life at the Age of 35.

My Lord,I will be happy to held a ministry in life as the founder even though i am not chanced to be Educated but i beleive that what is in me is greather ,than what is in a Man.I need to be Spiritual Uplifted,To Command evil through Gospel Music.

I will Scan the Picture i told you as soon as i got it from the Choirs store keeper.I will tell you more of the xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx in Festac Town Lagos Nigeria were i belong as you requested. I am a sinner but right from the day i received your email after two days now, God has touched me to listen to the Advise those prophets told me past years ago. (you will definitely get loads of help and advice from me Laughing

)

I do ask my self if is really true i am talking to real Gxxxxx W Bxxx OF UNITED STATES.Well i know you as the second World leader after Pope Benedict (I was a bit worried for a moment there, thought he was going to call me a faker Laughing

) and as such knowing fully that God has decide to raise a pillar that will be set as an example of light to all nations of the earth.My words sounds to me like words of Vission at times but i never find out exactely what i mean untill an events that looks like what i thought happen.

I beleive Gods time which i am about seeing,

Thank you once more,

Best Regards,
xxxxx xxxxx

I left it for a few days before I repled to him, I didn't want to appear too eager and I am a very bust president, when I replied, I mentioned about my music producer friend and his need for someone to make a cover version the Village People song, Y.M.C.A:

Quote:

Dear xxxxx xxxxx,

Thank you for your email, sorry for not replying to you sooner, I have had a lot of work to do concerning certain congressmen who are making things difficult for me, but everything has now settled down.

I was a bit surprised by the subject of your last email, namely, "true confession", let me tell you, I read your email and I can see that you are now an honest man, although there are a couple of items from your email that peaked my interest, and I quote you:

"I have tried many things in my life both bad and good to succeed"

"I love doing good things for Gods Glory but looking for money has made me at times go against Gods Way to satisfy what i need at a time."

Would you please explain to me what things you did for money that made you go against God's way to satisfy your own needs? Please be as honest as you can, if it was something illegal, don't be afraid to tell me about it, you are not the man you were then and I will not hold it against you in any way, but you being honest with me is of paramount importance!

As you mention in your email, you are now 35 and have achieved nothing in your life, you probably feel like a loser, but I can feel the winner in you, sometimes you have to lose before you can win, winning is not everything, so don't feel bad about being a big long time loser.

You mentioned before that you were interested in making an album, well, I have some friends who are big producers in the US music industry, I have chatted to them about your musical interest, and they seem interested, there is just one problem, they are not looking for someone to make an album of choir songs, this music producer works with people like 50 Cent, Eminem and other major stars or rap, r 'n' b and soul, he tells me he has a special project going on at the moment that he needs help with, have you ever heard of a song by a pop group called the "Village People", they had a bit hit a long time ago with a song called "YMCA", do you know that group and the song?

Well, this is what's happening, the music producer is looking for a group to perform that song and to release it on CD as a cover version of the original song, I told him you are a singer looking to make music and that you have other singers over there in Africa who work with you in the choir, I have asked him to grant me a personal favour and let you be the one to sing this song, so this is what he has suggested, if he sends you the lyrics for the song, and a link so that you can listen to the original song online, would you like rehearse it and send him some tape recording of you singing it?

If you can do that, there is every chance he will choose you to record that song for him, and he will fly you to the US to record it in his studios, as the performing artists, you would be entitled to a large % of all sales of the song sold on CD in the US, and also when it is distributed world wide, would you be interested in doing this?

I am going out of my way to help you in any way that I can, and I had to ask the producer a personal favour to get this for you, so let me know what you think about doing the song.

One last thing, there is no need for you to keep addressing me at the start of your emails as, "My Lord", please call me George, the only difference between us is, that I am the President of the United States of America, and you are not, we are both men, just flesh and blood in God's eyes.

Sincerely,

Gxxxxx W Bxxx .

I got a reply and it looks like this lad is well up for the Village People gig

:

Quote:

Dear: President Gxxxxx W Bxxx ,

Thanks for your mail and I must let you know that already you have filled my heart with my desire in life. I am just already just like winners too. Thanks a lot for your much concern.

Yes I have tried many things in my life both bad and good to succeed but I can see now that Gods time is the best.

I have tried business, Buying and selling from my age of 22 to 26 but could not achieve anything for four years rather I lost all the money's, I have tried stealing by picking pocket at the bus stop which
friends I met along my way of trying to look for the next survival work introduced me to but one day I nearly be a victim of circumstances which I really know from that day that God loves me to stay. Most of
the guys that introduced me to the rubbish fast way they call it are all died today when they refused to listen to Gods advise.There are many bad intentions that do come my mind one way or the other to make
money but I see that if one is very fast ahead of his or her God, You will be tired of running but if you allow your God to be first ahead of you then victory is yours.

I thank God that I am a victor today and I believe this is the right time God has decide to Bless me through you. Man is God To man at times and I have seen today the Goodness of Gods Glory. May everlasting
Glory and Praises be unto his holy name Amen.

I don't know the Group you called "Village People" and their song called "YMCA" but like you asked if I will be interested to have lyrics for the song on line. Yes but I will like to have the Complete Write up of the Music Notation and the words First and will like to listen to it probably them sending the tape to me via DHL Courier Services so that I know what I can do next.

If I may ask, are my going to sing this Music alone or with My Group?
Are we going to use the Local Instruments you see in the picture or the English Complete band? Like I told you before, I have a proposed wife to be although we are just friends for now who sings too, I have my
Immediate Junior Brother who sings too and we all are path of this group but already we have Some Gospel Tracks not Choir stuff that we have put together and were looking for the day of opportunity to go into recording.

This one is Gospel Music, which I believe that those producers too will be highly interested to assist us even though we are not up to the level of 50 Cent and others you mentioned. But I must tell you that I have the interest of the one you are trying to
Organize for in which you too will include in the Group.

I am not interested in the % of a thing as you mentioned but I am interested in asking my self if this is a dream or what? Look only you granting me entry in the States is just like the Beginning of the
Wining Story. I must not forget to thank you once more. Thank you very much, I appreciate all you are trying to do and I pray that Our Good God who has listen and answers to my prayers will keep, Protect, always Guide and give you more Knowledge to continue your Good work.

You may sounds to be right in telling me to address you as George not My Lord. Yes we are just the same Flesh and Blood as you said but Man at times may turn to God to another and that is what I just feel out of
my Happiness.

I stop here so far,

Attach are the Pictures you asked for,I am the person you can see there playing the drum and in the Group picture,I am still carrying the drum and was laughing to Gods Glory.

Can't wait to be in the United State of America.

Long Life and Gods Blessing I wish you.

xxxxx xxxxx

He attached his photo:

<snipped photo for now in case it's spotted by a lad friend>

I left it several days to reply to him, I was about to reply and saw he had mailed me again:

Quote:

Dear:Excellency,

How are you? Hope you received My Pictures. What is the next Step as i wait to hear from you. Knowing fully that you have many to Attend to. Plead do create time to Attend to me as you have already raised my hope so high.

I wait to hear from you.

Have a nice day,

My Warmest Regards,

xxxxx xxxxx

Not wanting to let him down after building his hopes up so high, I sent this reply to him:

Quote:

Dear xxxxx xxxxx,

Thank you for your email, again, I must apologise for not replying to you sooner, I have had a tremendous amount of work to do, mainly concerning recent events in Iraq, so I am sure you can appreciate the delay in getting back to you.

May I thank you for explaining your past as a common pickpocket and thief, I promise not to hold that against you, because you seem to have turned a corner in your life now, you attend church regularly and are a Christian man who sings in the choir, I am certain you have paid for some of your sins, and you will no doubt be paying for a long time to come.

I have had another chat with the music producer, and he is very interested in what you wrote to me, as in, when you asked if it needed to be done using local instruments or an English band set up, well, although he wants it played in the traditional band style, he would also like to hear you singing it whilst accompanied by your local instruments, he feels that you merit the chance to submit the song in both styles!

He has asked me to send you the lyrics to the song called Y.M.C.A, just for your reference, Y.M.C.A stands for "Young Men's Christian Association", the Y.M.C.A has 45 million members world wide and they are all fans of the original version performed by the group called the "Village people", here are the original lyrics sung by them, these are the same lyrics you will use to make the new cover version:

Artist: Village People
Song: Y.M.C.A Lyrics

Young men, there's no need to feel down
I said, young men, pick yourself off the ground
I said, young men, 'cause you're in a new town
There's no need to be unhappy

Young men, there's a place you can go
I said, young men, when you're short on your dough
You can stay there, and I'm sure you will find
Many ways to have a good time

(Chorus 1)
It's fun to stay at the YMCA
It's fun to stay at the YMCA
They have everything for young men to enjoy
You can hang out with all the boys
It's fun to stay at the YMCA
It's fun to stay at the YMCA
You can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal
You can do whatever you feel

Young men, are you listenin' to me?
I said, young men, what do you wanna be?
I said, young men, you can make real your dreams
But you've got to know this one thing

No man does it all by himself
I said, young men, put your pride on the shelf
And just go there to the YMCA
I'm sure they can help you today

(Repeat chorus 1)

Young men, I was once in your shoes
I said, I was down and out with the blues
I felt no man cared if I were alive
I felt the whole world was so tight

That's when someone came up to me
And said, "Young man, take a walk up the street
It's a place there called the YMCA
They can start you back on your way"

(Chorus 2)
It's fun to stay at the YMCA
It's fun to stay at the YMCA
They have everything for young men to enjoy
You can hang out with all the boys
YMCA
It's fun to stay at the YMCA
Young men, young men, there's no need to feel down
Young men, young men, pick yourself off the ground

(Chorus 3)
YMCA
And just go to the YMCA
Young men, young men, I was once in your shoes
Young men, young men, I was down with the blues
YMCA
YMCA
YMCA
YMCA

Please note that the Village People are dressed as different characters portraying men from different parts and jobs in society, the 6 members of the group are dressed as:

Native American Indian
Soldier
Construction Worker
Police Officer
Cowboy
Biker Dressed In Leather Clothes

The reason they are dressed as they are, is to show the world that the "Young Men's Christian Association" accepts men of all kinds, whether you be a native American Indian, a builder, or a police officer, it is of no concern to them, they will help anyone who needs help.

The original Village People have their own website here:

http://www.officialvillagepeople.com

Take a look at the photo archive page on the website, it shows them on stage at many of their tour dates in their costumes.

Also, you can watch a video of the original Village People performing the Y.M.C.A song back in 1978, watch the video here:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=5Jmfix-st9U

The music producer wants you to view the video, then use your initiative to make your own musical arrangements, you can read through the lyrics which have to be the same as the original song, but the music can be your own style using traditional English band instruments and a second version using your local instruments, he wants to see how versatile you are at making music as well as singing.

One other thing, obviously, you can record yourselves singing and send the taped recording to the producer in the states, but just as equally important, is for you and your band members to be dressed like the original Village People as listed above, so it will be even better if you can all dress up in the required costumes when you perform the Y.M.C.A song, then video yourselves singing and send the video to the producer, this is a golden opportunity for you, xxxxx!

I note that in your email, you said you were not interested in a % of the sales of any subsequent CD's, but do you know how much money we are talking about here that you are giving up? The sales of the song you perform will sell tens of millions of copies world wide, and not only will you get a % of the sales that will make you and your band members comfortable for the rest of your lives, this will also be a launch pad for you going on to making gospel albums with your choir, this is such a great opportunity for you.

I have attached a couple of photos of the Village people that were sent to me by the producer, one is their album cover and the other is of them on stage during their tour, so that you can see how they dress, maybe you could print the images to show to your choir/band members so they know what is required.

I have a lot of faith in you, xxxxx, and I really am going out of my way to help you in any way that you can, it is not very often that I reply to unsolicited emails like the first one that you sent to me, but having an enquiring mind, I read it, and now we are at this stage, it goes without saying, that once you have done your audition video for the producer, he will want to bring you to the United States, and with the position I hold, I will take care of all your visa's required for entry in to the United States, I will rush your band members visa applications through so that there will be no delay, and you can pick them up from the Embassy in Nigeria when they are ready, so please don't let me down with the music video and the costumes, I would hate to look stupid in front of my close friend, L xxxxx Vxxxxx, the music producer!

Sincerely,

Gxxxxx W Bxxx .

I attached these 2 photos for him to see what the Village People look like:

<snipped photo for now in case it's spotted by a lad friend>
<snipped photo for now in case it's spotted by a lad friend>

I got a reply from laddy, :

Quote:

His Excellency,

Thanks for your mail.Really i know you must be a busy man and as such i am not in any way unhappy for you not replying sooner.

Once more i do Appreciate all your effort to prove me a rejected Pillar that today about to be a foundation Stone of the House.

Thanks once more.

One important thing i will like you to know is that i will try my possible best while the rest will be in Gods Hand.I beleive he was the one that started this Good Job and he will be the one to Finish it as well. you think this is a good job, oh dear, you're in for a surprise, laddy Laughing

I will get back to you after my Negotiation and meetings with My group members and will get back to you if there is any thing we lack to understand.

My Warmest Regards to you and your Family.

Gods Protection i always wish you Amen.

xxxxx xxxxx

There have been no emails from this lad since his last one above which was 8 days ago, I am thinking that after the meeting with his choir friends, he/they have sussed out that he was being baited, so I sent him an email asking how he is:

Quote:

Dear xxxxx xxxxx,

Good day to you, I have not heard from you for some time now, is everything ok with you?

The music producer is eager to know how you are progressing with the Y.M.C.A song, please get back to me as soon as possible, have a nice day.

Sincerely,

Gxxxxx W Bxxx .

Much to my delight, he replied the same day, now the subject of funding the video/costumes etc crops up Rolling Eyes

, it's a nice email though Very Happy

:

Quote:

His Excellency,

I still thank you for the interest you have shown in me all these while. I just want to make sure that I understand the structure, magnitude, and what it will require to make the assignment you have given me a success. I have taken my time to look at the site and have seen a lot of motivations. I have also seen that it is something that requires a lot of comittment, custumes, talents etc., which I will never disappoint.

I have had a discuss with my choirmaster and other members of the choir.They were very interested and happy to be given such an oppurtunity to shoe case their talents.

However,the catholic church in Nigeria has her own way of doing things. If we would want to use the church in producing the video, they, seeing it as a business venture,will not like it. All the members of the choir (including the choirmaster) are not paid in any form.All things are done in the service of God.Why I am saying this,having seen the good work before me, is that the funding of the audition videoing,the recording,and the custumes will be expensive over here.Though,as of the time I am writing this letter,I have not known the excact amount, but, I am working towards it.It only in this aspect that I am very
handicapped!

I wouldn't want to disappoint myself (and you) by not utilising this once in a life's time oppurtunity. I want to make sure that I bring out the best of the 'Village-Africa' in the YMCA! I know the capability of my choir (especially, my Choirmaster).We have already started making plans to start reharsals.We have downloaded the music,listened to the lyrics...,we shall give it the African touch!And also as you directed in your last mail to me.(American Style)

We shall never diappoint you. Only that the finance is where the problem lies.Futhermore,I think we would be talking about the % when we have really made sure that this wonderful venture would be a reality.

I will stop here,His Excellency.Untill I hear from you again.

May the good Lord continue to strengthen you as you furge ahead in leading the American nation to greatness.

God bless you.

Yours sincerely,

xxxxx xxxxx.

It's time to start turning the screws a bit, and dispel the notion that he needs funds to complete the task, initiative, initiative, initiative is needed, not funds, I replied to him:

Quote:

Dear xxxxx xxxxx,

I was waiting with baited breath to hear from you again, I'm glad to hear you are keeping well.

It's good that you looked at the Village People site, it really is a truly inspiring website, I can remember when they released the Y.M.C.A song in the 1970s, it was a massive hit, one of the biggest selling records of all time, and as you can see on their website, they still do tours and perform to large crowds some 30 years later.

That is why this is such a golden opportunity for you, xxxxx, I know for a fact that one of the Village People band members owns a $30,000,000 (THIRTY MILLION DOLLARS) home in Malibu and another huge ranch and home in my home state of Texas, I visited both homes for parties a couple of years ago, they are very wealthy people due to their musical success, and I have every confidence that you can progress along the same lines as them when you record the Y.M.C.A song cover version.

It warms my heart to know that the members of your choir are so interested in this opportunity, and whilst you may think you are struggling with money for costumes and videos etc, think only of the future, in as little as 2 months from now, you and your choir could be in a US recording studio making your dreams become reality.

On the subject of coming to the US, do you and all the choir members have passports? As promised, I will fast track all the visa applications for you all to make sure there are no problems with entering the US, and I can supply you all with presidential invitational passes to make your transition through customs a smoothe one.

All that you need to do is get your passports in order, what I will need for the visas and the invitational passes, are the names, addresses and dates of birth of all the choir members who will be travelling to the US, along with one passport sized photo of each member.

I have spoken to the record producer, and he tells me to tell you that you need not go to great expense in making elaborate costumes that are exact replica's of those worn by the Village People, he says you are to use your initiative to make them using normal everyday clothing.

If I was in your position with such a golden opportunity, nothing would stop me from reaching my target, for example, the Red Indian costume is easy to make, all he is wearing is some furry boots, a head dress of feathers, some feathers across his chest and Red Indian war paint on his face. The cowboy is wearing normal everyday clothes such s jeans and a shirt, a cowboy hat and a gun and holster, which you can buy from any toy shop for pennies.

The construction worker is wearing normal work clothes, all you need is a hard hat and a tool bely with some work tools, which most people have at home anyway.

The police officer wears tight white pants, black boots, black jacket and a motorcycle helmet, all easy items to get for nothing, at worst, you might have to borrow a motorcycle helmet.

The soldier is wearing kharky clothing, which you can buy very cheaply in any army surplus clothes shop, or borrow from a friend in the army.

The biker is dressed in all black leather with some metal chains hanging from his clothes, whilst it is best if you use leather, it would be expensive, so use normal all black clothing.

The expense to make these costumes is very minimal considering the huge amount that you have to gain from it!

I understand where you are coming from concerning your church calling it a business venture, but it is not a business venture, in any case, your church does not need to be involved in this in any way, it appears that you are only using your church for the benefit of using their video camera, so it would be worth your while hiring a video camera for the day or borrowing one from a friend, do not let the church hinder your and the choirs musical ambitions, will your church feed you for the next 30 years? No, but your musical talent will feed you and you family for generations to come!

Both the producer and I are very much looking forward to hearing and viewing your first audition video, may the Lord praise you and guide you in your musical renditions.

Sincerely,

Gxxxxx W Bxxx .

Got a reply from him, still mentioning financing needed to make it perfect Rolling Eyes

:

Quote:

His Excellency,

Thanks for your mail.I will need to have another meeting later today with my choirmaster/members.

I will be printing the email you sent out to show them again so that we know plans ahead and how we can follow up things.

Will get back to you after the meeting but Finance is really needed to pefect this venture here honnest.

May God Bless you and your family.

Have a nice day,

Sincerely,

xxxxx xxxxx

After my last email above, and his reply asking for financing again, things are now going brilliantly, he has sent me this reply saying his last one was sent in haste Very Happy

, what I like about this particular bait more than even seeing videos etc, is the fact that so many of his close friends at church are going to be so fucked off with him when it all falls apart Twisted Evil

:

Quote:

Your Excellency,

Thank you so much for your mail.The mail I sent in reply was done in a haste.It is now that I have digested all that you spoke of in your most recent mail after I discussed with my Choirmaster.All the explanations you gave were well understood.The only thing we have to really use is our initiative.

Where we cannot find the 'normal'clothens of the characters,we have to make up with what is affordable over here.For instance,the biker might look a little bit different from the American biker...He will be an African biker!Ha!Ha!Ha!So shall it be in the other characters.Just like my Chiormaster,I like challenges...We have already started preparations.

If I may ask, Your Excellency,

{1}what shall be the maximum numerical strenght of the choir if we are to be in the US to make our dreams come into reality?

{2}When would the names,addresses,and dates of births of all the chior members who would be making the trip be sent to you?

{3}When the first audition vidoe is made,through what means would we send the package to you?

We shall make do to the best of our ability.May God continue to guide us all;protect us all from all dangers.May God grant you the wisdom to continue to lead the people He gave to be under your care.May He give you the strength of mind and body. Amen!

Untill I hear from you.

Yours sincerely,

xxxxx xxxxx.

I replied answering his 3 questions, told him to bring as many singers as he wants, the more the merrier, and the more people that will be pissed at him at the end of the game Twisted Evil

:

Quote:

Dear xxxxx xxxxx,

Thank you your email, it was a pleasure to hear from you again, and I am glad that you have seen the light concerning using your initiative to make the costumes, remember that the US is a land of great opportunity, and opportunity is taken by those who use their initiative, that is why people prosper here.

I will answer your questions in brackets after your questions:

{1}what shall be the maximum numerical strenght of the choir if we are to be in the US to make our dreams come into reality? (The number of people in your choir is not a problem, whether it be 5, 15 or 25 people, they will all be catered for, you should not leave anyone out if they are an important member of the choir, you need to be at full strength and will need all of your usual choir members with you for maximum vocal effect) I can just see him getting all of his friends to join the choir to bump the numbers up so they can get to America, oh the pain when it falls apart Twisted Evil

{2}When would the names,addresses,and dates of births of all the chior members who would be making the trip be sent to you? (The sooner you can get me all of those details to me, the better, there is a lot of paperwork to fill in with regards to visas and presidential passes, and we do not want any delays at a late stage)

{3}When the first audition vidoe is made,through what means would we send the package to you? (Once you have finished the video, I will furnish you with the address of the producer for you to send it to him, it would be best if you were to send it via courier with tracking, if you send it via normal mail, there is a possibility that it might get lost, and all of your hard work will have been for nothing, a courier is of paramount importance for sending things like audition videos)

xxxxx, I am very much looking forward to seeing the African biker you mention, I have never seen an African biker before, are they similar to US bikers, what do they dress like?

I will have to stop here for now, I have a very busy day ahead of me, I look forward to hearing from you again soon, once again, well done on using your initiative, that shows me you are a man of great inner strength and a go getter.

Sincerely,

Gxxxxx W Bxxx .

To be continued....

Posted: Sun Jan 28, 2007 1:54 am

Posted: Sun Jan 28, 2007 9:49 am

Brilliant SP. jump_4_joy

Is you lad going to be the police man or the cowboy?

Posted: Sun Jan 28, 2007 11:35 am

A truly incredible bait - mucho respect - I can't help but feel that his statement early on "I am the Lord's chosen one" is going to haunt him for a long time to come. happy crowd

Posted: Sun Jan 28, 2007 12:29 pm

I want to see the biker. Black leather and chains OOOOOOHHH!!
Nice work SP Laughing

Bloody incredible actually.

Baiting Guru Joined: 04 Dec 2005 Posts: 3551

I think "Dear Excellency" should go into your sig line. Laughing

Posted: Sun Jan 28, 2007 2:59 pm

Why doesn't it surprise me that you would get a lad like this? I can't wait to see what comes next.

Posted: Sun Jan 28, 2007 3:11 pm

If they baulk at YMCA how about The Time Warp? I'd love to see a lad dressed as Frank N Furter. Very Happy

Posted: Sun Jan 28, 2007 4:09 pm

Nice one, Your Excellency!

Ask Rover to change your tag from 'Clock Baiter' (How do you bait a clock, BTW?)

Once you have their address, if they give you any trouble, or you think they're slacking, remind them that you can have them wiped out by a laser guided smart bomb or a special forces team in a black helicopter at very short notice.

Hell, you could even threaten to invade Nigeria! (It has got oil)

Posted: Sun Jan 28, 2007 6:20 pm

Bush can send a surge of soldiers to Iraq in defiance of Congress and a majority of the American population while still finding time to help a Nigerian band get a rendition of YMCA into print. What a dumbass scammer.

Posted: Sun Jan 28, 2007 8:16 pm

i cant wait to see this lad get upset with you. Laughing

Posted: Sun Jan 28, 2007 8:46 pm

awesome SP, MY LORD, I've had a good laugh
Hee hee... can't wait for the rest Very Happy

Posted: Sun Jan 28, 2007 9:04 pm

Demo tapes we want demo tapes and don't you send a penny until you have them Smile

Ask him to do the singing seperatley so it can be mixed later.

Posted: Sun Jan 28, 2007 9:20 pm

Excellent work SP Laughing

there is nothing better than to see a lad all excited about the gret opportunity that has fallen inot his lap.

Tell your lad to pluck a few feathers from an ostrich to get the plumage for the indian head set, Laughing

Also ask your lad to send the first demo recording to you or the producer.

Once again clapping

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

^^^^^ Yeah, I explained to him that it would be a lot safer to send the tape via courier to the producer, just in case it gets lost via normal post and all his work would have been or nothing.

No doubt he will ask for help to finance the courier as well Rolling Eyes

, but we know what my answer to that will be.

Posted: Sun Jan 28, 2007 9:51 pm

That is fantastic and very funny to read! A well thought out plan! Laughing

Posted: Sun Jan 28, 2007 10:46 pm

FANTASTIC !!! you have made my day Very Happy

and hurt my stomach
Can�t wait to see a still photo or even the whole video for me to sing along with !!! good work!!!

Posted: Mon Jan 29, 2007 1:53 am

Get them to ware masks of G. dubya Bush
Nice Work SP.. real nice

Posted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 6:19 am

Soooooooo great !!! Pets trust anything at all !

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

I have mailed him asking for some photos of work in progress on the costumes, they are needed for the CD:

Quote:

Dear xxxxx xxxxx,

Further to my previous email, I have spoken to the music producer, and he would very much like to see some photos of the work in progress on the making of the Village People costumes and rehearsals, he is very excited about seeing the end results, and in particular, he can't wait to see the African version of the biker that you told me about. As well as seeing the work in progress photos out of curiosity, the producer wants to have the photos printed in a pull out inside the CD cover, it will show people the work you have done to make your dream a reality, which in turn, will endear people to you, and therefore increase sales of the Y.M.C.A music CD.

The producer and I have very high hopes for you and the choir, it is not often that someone as dedicated as you comes along, and I am happy for you that you have grasped your opportunity with both hands

One other thing, in your last email, you said:

"{2}When would the names,addresses,and dates of births of all the chior members who would be making the trip be sent to you?"

Please remember that it is not just names, addresses and dates of birth that are required, I will also need a passport sized photo of each choir member, they are needed for the presidential passes, I did mention that in an earlier email, this is just a reminder in case you had forgotten about that, since you didn't mention it in your question.

How are the rehearsals coming along, I trust everything is going as planned?

Sincerely,

Gxxxxx W Bxxx.

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

It's been about 6 days since he replied to my last 2 emails, he's been busy, I must say, this is going terribly well, here is the email he sent today Laughing

:

Quote:

Your Excellency,

I would have written to you earlier than now, but, the great opportunity you gave to me demands a lot of attention. I always want the best irrespective of the fact that the best has not yet arrieved... not untill now anyway!

We are trying very much to make things very African still retaining the nucleus of the music of YMCA. We are precisely in Lagos. Hence, we have to go to the village to get all the requirements that will put all the custumes into place. So, by the time we finish all the actual lay downs, we will then start the main rehearsals.We will be sending scanned pictures to you and other things that show our progress.

I haved taken note of the reminder... I did not forget at all. I know how to obey instructions. I will be keeping you informed as things progresses.

May the good Lord continue to keep you and strenghten you always.

Remain blessed.

Yours sincerely,

xxxxx xxxxxx.

Baiting Guru Joined: 11 May 2004 Posts: 2163

Is he dressing up his entire village or something? I can't wait to see this.

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

^^^^^ Maybe he is getting his village people to make the Village People costumes Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

I replied to him, I'm trying to find out the number of people he has got involved in the project, and how many are coming to the US to record the song:

Quote:

Dear xxxxx xxxxx,

Thank you for the reply and update of the current situation, nice to hear that you are paying so much attention to detail to make the best of it, it's not every day that someone gets an opportunity like this, I just knew from the beginning that I had found a very enthusiastic person in you, and you have not let me down!

Just out of interest, you say you have to go to a village to get the costumes made, what is the village you talk of and why are they making the costumes there?

I find it ironic that you are getting village people to make the Village People costumes, very ironic indeed, I told the producer about it and he laughed out loudly, he likes that idea, he said it will be another good selling point for the CD once you record it and it goes on sale.

You mention that you are making things very African in the Y.M.C.A song, please remember that whilst the producer wants to see an African version of it, there must also be a traditional version as well.

Could you give me a rough idea of the number of people you have helping you with this project, how many choir members will be singing the song, how many are making the costumes, how many will be coming to the US to record it etc.

As I told you before, the choir needs to be at full strength for the US recording, so feel free to bring all the people that you think you will need to accomplish it to the highest of standards, there are no restrictions on number of singers/musicians you can bring to the US, but I would like to have an idea of numbers as soon as possible, so that I can set the wheels in motion preparing the paperwork.

Sincerely,

Gxxxxx W Bxxx.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jan 2007 Posts: 2922

Is there going to be a video??? Please!!! Laughing

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