NASA needs help - slightly NSFW

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Posted: Sat Jul 04, 2009 12:54 pm

I really get a kick out of being able to respond with garbage and basically be a smart-ass. Here’s a letter I received from Mary Nasa -

Quote:

My Dearest Beloved Friend,

I am Mrs mary nasa from Netherlands,I am 51 years old,i am deaf andsuffering from a long time cancer of the lungs which also affected my
brain,from all indication my conditions is really deteriorating and it is quite obvious that, according to my doctors they have advised me that i
may not live for the next two months,this is because the cancer stage has
gotten to a very bad stage. I was brought up from a motherless home was
married to my late husband for twenty years without a child, He died in a
fatal motor accident Before his death we were true Christians.

Since his death I decided not to re-marry,I sold all my inherited belongings and deposited all the sum of $5million dollars with a
bank.Presently, this money is still with them and the management just wrote me as the true owner to come forward to receive the money for keeping it so long or rather issue a letter of authorization to somebody
to receive it on my behalf since I can not come over because of my illness
or they get it confiscated.

Presently, I'm with my laptop in a hospital where I have been
undergoing treatment for cancer of the lungs. I have since lost my ability
to talk and my doctors have told me that I have only a few months to live.It is my last wish to see that this money is invested to any organization of your choice and distributed each year among the charity organization,the poor and the motherless babies home where i come from.I want you as a God fearing, to also use this money to fund churches, orphanages and widows,I took this decision, before i rest in peace because my time will soon be up.I will also issue you a letter of authority that will prove you as the new beneficiary of this fund. What is too important to me as was revealed to me in dream is that immediately you receive the

money, you will pay 10% of it to your church as tithe was warned that this 10%tithe is very important. You will also visit the motherless babies,accident victims,Aids/Hiv centres, clothe the naked and feed the hungry. These will be the major part of your evangelization.Sincerely, Please get in touch with me through email .

Yours in Christ,

As you can see, it is a very moving letter and very well written. So, I decided to reply –

Quote:

Mrs. Nasa,

I am a man of prayer and a Christian. I am sorry for your suffering of the lungs and brain. I will pray for you. I will ask those in my church to pray for your lungs and brain as well. I do believe God worked here as during a movement that called for prayer I had a vision of somebody suffering in their brain.

I am a retired worker. I used to make license plates, import and distribute products from South America, make productions for the education of people in the medical exams and other businesses.

But my greatest joy is when I do God’s work and help others. It is like totally blessed when we do religious things. I know I have helped many working women call for God during Biblical relations. At least I know they were calling and I pray it was genuine and not because of how they thought I wanted to hear it.

I am not sure I can help but I will try to distribute your money to motherless babies as we all know babies need mothers to be born. I know we need to help those who can’t eat and we need to pay special attention to those who have no clothes. I have seen many of them during my business days.

Please be brave during your time of distress in your cancer. I will pray for you and have my church pray and other religious references.

I want to help those so please tell me what I might be able to do.

She actually replied, like she really understood what I said. I'm not sure if I understood what I said -

Quote:

I write to acknowledge the receipt of your mail, but why I have not replied your mail before now was due to my health condition of which I have explained to you in my mail.

What I will want you to do at the moment is to send your banking information to me via my mailbox so that I can forward it to the bank where the fund was deposited as my next of kin. Do now that I do not have much time, so I will want you to do things with a little bit of haste, as delay will not be might mean another thing. Do try and send your telephone number also where the bank can communicate with you during the course of this transaction.

God bless you my brother,

Great, here I go again -

Quote:

I know my prayers are being heard. I pray every morning and this morning during my prayer movement time, I heard a thunderous noise and splashes and thought of you.

As this is a holiday weekend here in the United States, I cannot get my banking information until after the weekend. Once the weekend has been over I will send you the information will haste and religious references.

During the time of waiting I will present to you those charities that I believe will continue and move forward with your work before you die. God wants us to make sure the hungry are fed and we will see to that. God wants me to look to help motherless babies to have homes and we will see to it. God wants me to look at those who have no clothes and see that they shall call out His name.

I am still prayful for you. God wants you to be brave knowing you are going to a better place that you are now. I know God will call you home and your work will be done. I have people in my church praying for your suffering of the lungs and brain as I pray for you suffer.

I will give you the banking information after the holiday weekend. I will also discuss the charities we will donate the money to.

Prayful and religious references,

Now I'm waiting to see if she replies. If she does, I'm going to tell her all about the chairty groups I'm working with...

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