Contestants needed - Does your pet have poetic talent?

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Master Baiter Joined: 18 Nov 2007 Posts: 192

Meri, your poems can be found HERE
I too received a bunch of stolen crap this morning. Poems complete with analysis that he claimed were written by children. I've slapped him silly...hopefully he'll work a bit harder now.

Master Baiter Joined: 18 Nov 2007 Posts: 192

After my slap this morning, the Reverend made another attempt. These, I am sure he wrote himself, but I don't see how they qualify as poetry. It is very sad that the closest thing to poetry I've received so far talks about slaughtering a hen.

Anyway here are his attempts today for your enjoyment. Rolling Eyes

Quote:

Once I know a drunker who knows how to make money, he has the influence of doing well. But his friends are bad kind of people that made him do things not his will. It came to a hat he saw a ghost who made him to be afraid. Later in his life, he became a mad man all his friends left him at that time of problem. The God sent his servant that made him well.

After all this, he turns away from his sin and accept God as his creator.

Quote:

Once I know a girl who school in Abuja Nigeria, always going evil and does not like good things.

One day, she met a man who thought her how to make good leaving; after all, she became rich but does not want to stop her evil.

Then she met a pastor who thought her the word of God for forgiveness and she turned away from her evil ways and accepted Christ.

Quote:

Once I know a sinner who loves earthly things. he makes fortune and works from place to place and spends on girls every day by going to party drinking from one place to another buying all kinds of thing because he has the money. But one day, his business fall and he was not working again to places, he only sit down all and all his girls friends ran away from him because he was no more rich how he was before. The first day he went to church, he begged to forgive all his sins and give another job. So God did as he requested and the man gave his life to Christ and stopped doing bad things.

Master Baiter Joined: 18 Nov 2007 Posts: 192

And now an attempt from S1ster R0se B3n. I enjoyed this one.

Quote:

THE SUN IS DOWN,
THE SON IS CROWN,
WITH A GUN FOR FUN,
HIS BROTHER HAS GONE FOR HIS TURN.

A WINE WAS ORDERED,
THEY DINE AND OFFERED,
AND PRESENTS A GOLD,
TO THEIR PARENTS AND THEIR FOLD.

THE SCENE WAS FILLED,
ALSO SEEN AT THE FIELD,
WAS BEN AND PAUL,
WITH KEN AND SAUL,

This one came with rhyming words highlighted for me. It may not seem like much, but I'm very proud of the good "sister".

Master Baiter Joined: 02 Aug 2009 Posts: 144

IrwinFletcher, those are great! I loved the one about the guy whose girlfriends ran away when he went broke! Laughing

Master Baiter Joined: 18 Nov 2007 Posts: 192

Hey thanks for reading it blacksheep. I honestly barely made it through the first one. I never read what he writes if it's too long. I skim it, but doing more than that might cause brain damage, so be careful. Very Happy

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 05 Mar 2009 Posts: 582

@ IrwinFletcher, thanks for finding them. I googled them and didn't find anything.

His first peom was stolen, why wouldn't the other 2? He does write quite well for a lad. Now I have to decide just how to slap him.

Master Baiter Joined: 18 Nov 2007 Posts: 192

Meri, I just took a short phrase from the poem "sw33t surrender soft g3ntle kiss" put it in quotes and plugged it into google. Poppep right up. I've had lots of stolen poems come from that site. The lads seem to frequent it.
I had to be very specific about what I wanted for my poem in order to get anything from them. (and even then they get it wrong) Try insisting that the poem have your name in it, with at least five words that rhyme with your name. OK, so maybe not exactly like that, but make it so it's impossible for them to steal it from somewhere else. That's the lesson I've learned so far trying to get these damn poems written. You have to guide these morons step by step. If I had learned it sooner, I might have had something better to submit.

Master Baiter Joined: 18 Nov 2007 Posts: 192

As a last minute attempt to get something, I responded to emails with a copy and paste message to many many lads. I instructed them to complete a quick psychological test which I would analyze to see if they are intelligent and honest enough to do business with. They were given a list of ten words, told to rhyme all ten and form a poem.

Here is one I received today

Quote:

Shiver.... teacher
risk...... sick
money......honey
fake.....take
true......through
Box........Bus
Gold....... Hold
God........Got
Cancer....... dancer
goat........boat

Did the teacher shiver when it was rainy?
I didnt risk it because i was sick.
The Boy said he loved me than Honey.
I didn't take the Money because it was a fake one.
I said i will be through soon with the true fact of the whole matter.
I put the Gaot in the Boat.
The Cancer patient was a Dancer.
I got God in my life now so i fear no evil anymore.
I hold the Gold firmly so it won't fall.
When i was travelling, i put my Box in the Bus.

So I will be waiting to hear from you quickly

Master Baiter Joined: 18 Nov 2007 Posts: 192

A poem received today from S1ster R0se B3n again.

Quote:

THE PRESS CONFIRMED THE DATE,
HIS DRESS WAS LEFT FOR FAITH,
HE CLAIMED THE MURDER,
AND BLAMED THE MOTHER,

THE PLACE WAS TIGHT,
THEY TRACE THE FIGHT,
THE BOY WAS THE CAUSE,
BECAUSE HIS TOY WAS A CURSE,

HE WAS JAILED FOR THE CASE,
AND WAS BAILED AT THE BASE,
HE MET HIS FRIEND INCHARGED,
HIS MATE DISCHARGED,

Posted: Tue Aug 25, 2009 9:07 pm

My reverend father lad who offered me big monies happened to fall in love with me so he left his church to share his life with me. He now lives like a true poet, homeless and hungry. Luckily, he is still able to call me several times a day. When he doesn't ask me to go to WU and send him money for food and housing, he writes me poems. Enjoy. Very Happy

WARNING: You may find the second one NSFW.

Quote:

I love you like a school boy love his pen
like god love the church and die for them i will die for you my love
please dont hurt me please
you are my life my world my wife my hope and queen.

Quote:

BABE BROWSING ON WEB SITES CAN BE EXCITING
BUT IT IS EVEN MORE EXCITING ON THE WEB SITE BETWEEN YOUR THIGHS.
FOOD IS SWEET,BV D ONE B/W UR LEGS IS SWEETER.
I JUST CAN,T STOPLONGING 4 IT.
BABE I LUV U?

Quote:

May ur bed be as soft d clouds,
ur pillow as tender as a child
as u sleep 2nite.
Sweet dream,luv u?

Quote:

Luv speaks 4rm d hat,
it needs nt 2 explain bt rada it speaks 4 itsself.
do u kno dat ur voice makes meanin 2me?
lets pray & c wat wil hapen nxt.
i truly luv.

Quote:

YOU ARE MY HOPE
MY WORLD
MY LIFE
MY GOLD
THE MOTHER OF MY UNBORN CHILDREN
I LOVE YOU LIKE NEVER BEFOR MY LOVE.

Master Baiter Joined: 18 Nov 2007 Posts: 192

Quote:

BUT IT IS EVEN MORE EXCITING ON THE WEB SITE BETWEEN YOUR THIGHS.

Posted: Tue Aug 25, 2009 9:26 pm

what does NSFW stand for? Non Sensical Fuckedup Work?

V

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 05 Mar 2009 Posts: 582

NSFW = Not Safe for Work

Master Baiter Joined: 02 Aug 2009 Posts: 144

IrwinFletcher, The psychological test you sent out was a great idea. Good work!

Niagara, the second one was my favorite. Laughing

Great job.

Master Baiter Joined: 18 Nov 2007 Posts: 192

I am currently torturing this lad with S3curity Shi3ld, and even then he comes back with another "poem" for me. What a hard worker.

Quote:

DEAR REV J1M,

THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL.

HERE IS THE LIST OF ANOTHER POEM.

WAS TRAIN TO BE IN SHAPE,
THE TRANE WAS FULL OF APE,
HE PERFORMED THE TASK,
AND INFORMED THEM FAST.

WAS PROMOTTED FOR THIS FACT,
AND DEMOTTED FOR BEING FAT,
HE CRIED FOR BEING FOOLISH,
TRIED TO STOP THE RUBISH.

Posted: Sun Aug 30, 2009 4:49 pm

Finally, I have one. It's a bit short, I know, but surely that means its lad-written?
Its from a 'deaf' love scammer (see:http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=170435).
I wrote a short poem, then told the lad to write one which featured the words 'duck', 'buck' and 'chuck'.
I got this:

Quote:

I HAVE A GOLDEN DUCK
SHINES LIKE A GOLDEN STAR AT NOON .

IT KEEP CHOKING ON A BUCK AND CHUCK

I LOVE THE DUCK ALOT AND CANNOT AFFORD TO LOOSE IT ...

Sorry: it doesn't rhyme. Not all poems do Wink

.

Posted: Fri Sep 04, 2009 5:31 pm

Update: I just received another from the same lad.

I said to him/('her'):

Quote:

Dear kar3n,
It has occurred to me that you could write a poem for me to get well.
Your poems cheer me up greatly, so can you write one with 4 verses about a fox and a banana? Perhaps the fox could play with it.
And can the last verse wish me good health?
Oh thankyou dear, I knew I could count on you.
Love,
D1ll.

Eventually, I got what follows:

Quote:

hello my love i hope you get well soon .

i know a fox thats fell form a pit.
the pit is so dip that the fox cant get out of it .
somebody help !
the fox is dieing .

nobody to comeby to help the fox .
i love to see the fox come out.
what could i have done.
i bought a banana and show the fox

the fox jumped out
when he see the banana
and he was so happy
i was also happy to help the fox.

my love i hope you get well soon
i am sending lots of love to you
over there.
for you to get well,better and happy.

I have to admit, I'm beginning to like this Smile

!

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 18 Sep 2009 Posts: 6

IrwinFletcher wrote:

Inspired by G0mer and his B0yz site, I created my own little site for my church's poetry contest. I have one reverend interested in entering and I'm hoping for a submission soon.
I'm not technically inclined at all, and it's my first site, but here it is(under construction).

Hello mate, great idea with the site by the way. Just thought I'd give you a wee tip:
Remove the active links from those images as, well we know most of these lads are not too bright and you don't want to encourage even the slightest confusion as they might have when they click and are no longer on the main page..!
If you need some help with the basics then you can give me a shout..
Basically the parts to remove would be:

Code:

The parts BEFORE the images is like
<a href="http://sites.google.com/site/rhymingforjesus/home/money.jpg?attredirects=0" imageanchor="1">
(Delete all of that)

The part after each image is just
</a>
Delte that too but only the one that follows after the image.

You probably knew all that and chose to have those images clickable but I just thought sending them off the main page may be too much for them! Very Happy

Cheers

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 02 Sep 2009 Posts: 13

Is this competition over? So who is the winner?

Posted: Sun Dec 27, 2009 11:06 am

<---- Not my pet, but if anyone wants to use this original picture, you have my express permission. Contributions welcome Smile

Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 6:16 pm

iamlovinit05 wrote:

Is this competition over? So who is the winner?

Yeah c'mon or were they all so dire that all runners came joint last? Razz

Btw sorry to necro, but I gotta say a new rap star who's career I will be "developing" has created something which IS all his own work. I think it's worthy of a belated honourable mention. Especially after only 3 mails.

Quote:

See the w@y the g1rls dem dey pvmp Henne5y.........
l@dies are u feel1ng dizzy
i got more Henne5sy to make you cr@zy
come to my j@cuzzy, let me get you b1zzy
you can put my d1ck right in your pu55y
on the internet the wh1te men call me l1zzy
cos dey kn0w i love Ef1zzy
m@sturbat1ng them, making dem g0ing crazy
Now i got my m0ney, but you kn0w is not e@sy.....

Leeted to hell, cos I got it fresh like a steaming pile of dung just this morning.

Posted: Sun Mar 14, 2010 9:55 pm

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date.
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimmed;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature's changing course untrimmed.
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st;
Nor shall death brag thou wand'rest in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st,
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

Received this from a love lad after I requested poetry....

I didn't know I was baiting the bard himself!

Posted: Fri Jun 18, 2010 8:38 am

I just joined today, or I would have had some good ones for you. I didn't even have to solicit them, the jerk introduced himself with them. Found me "passionate and interesting" although he had only read my bio...which was anything but passionate. After 3 long days of posting almost steadily, I had to block him.

You all are great! My six graders wrote better poetry and weren't nearly as dense as these guys, whew!

Cold Justice

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