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sunshine
Baiting Guru
Joined: 13 Feb 2008
Posts: 2804
Location: Anywhere a lad needs setting on fire
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Posted:
Wed Jun 17, 2009 6:56 am |
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I have a orphan with a fortune scammer on the go at the moment who has been corresponding with my danish porn actress character who writes broken English. To cut a long bait short the actress has persuaded the lad to send a script to her director so the director will be impressed and send more money.
The lad was very reluctant - probably because he doesn't have a clue what a script should look like (neither do I ) so my actress character came up with a few lines of stage directions and dialogue and our lad says he'd "edit it for spelling and grammar" and add to it.
This is what he produced. (Warning - language NSFW and contains sex with dragons (I think, it's kind of hard to tell!)
Quote: |
Dear Tony,
Here below is a Sword and Sorcery script idea that I have go through
it and let me know what you think about it.
LOCATION: Exterior part of the bush and Forest clearing mostly Night show.
===========================================
I will use my name JOY Mostly on this little script and Now it starts
by me Joy getting a UNICORN and seats on It. The UNICORN walks stright
into clearing bush or forest which are lighted by torches rounds the
outside
Start Up: Medium close up UNICORN
and it flick its ear and look rounds the place
Then UNICORN: "This is not being the right place. It is too quite"
Then: sound shot Joy and UNICORN
UNICORN: "Did you hear that?"
Joy: "Noise, you imagine things, you big scared thing"
Joy - Then pat unicorns on necks and chicks
Joy: " your big all over your ties down , I want to do love once again
I I have not had it for at least an hour for a long time"
(THEN OFF THE SCREEN)
DRAGON: "Roahhhhh!"
Joy: "Oh my God fucking of the hells! It Grondar the Flatulent. Kings
of Dragons"
UNICORN: "Whinny!"
Joy: Am Charged!"
Then: Wide and big shot behind dragon, pan up and left for very wide
views and the UNICORN charges DRAGON
Then DRAGON: "Roahhh!"
As UNICORN gets too close the DRAGON then DRAGON wave its paw and hit
UNICORN then fall off and Joy fall off from Unicorn
Joy: "Heeee!"
DRAGON then put claw on UNICORN neck and pin it down
Joy gets up and CAMERA - follow Joy look CUT TO Joy sword lying to far
away to get to CUT TO Joy and DRAGON medium shot
Then DRAGON: get annoyed and look at joy very well and feel something
on its brains and body."
ThenDRAGON breath harshly and Joy while on the ground where full in
fears and then all my clothes fall off me
DRAGON: "Hmmmm... nice legs, for a human beign as this nature and
immediately feel like making love to human for the first time"
Quickly the drangond panis and everything across DRAGON body begging
to shark and the DRAGONs panis is getting erect. The dragon has a big
and long dick,
Then Joy, saw it and smiles and licks her lips and said in her mind I
love this dick and she started feeling to have sex with the dragon
because Joy loves having sex with a big dick then slowly Joy open her
legs and ask Dragon to come and feel her sexual style immediately
drogon mount and plung onm her. Joy screen and secreened owww, hmmmmm,
goood, harder and so on while Unicorn looks on how the hot sex was
going on then Dragon lick its mouth to show tham Joy is very sweet to
have sex with then follow animals like the dragon family.
Then Joy said I love this sex and its very nice.then ask Unicorn did
you enjoy the way the sex went on and the dragon responded by shacking
its eat in appreciation of a hot sex with Joy
My little story ends so far for know .
Dear Tony after reading this little script please tell me how you see
it and then I will still expect that you change your mind and ask
Bodil to send me the money tomorrow.
Thanks.
Joy. |
I think my brain has melted |
_________________ so dont push my spirit to do a bad fasting for your head if not you will confam your self as a died person okay - Pastor Divine
OBOSH WILL KILL YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. YOU WILL NEVER SEE GOOD THING IN LIFE. OGUN WILL KILL YOU BASTARD SUN OF OBOSH. - Dr Oilyseagoon
AN ALIEN YOU ARE FROM THE PIT OF HELL - Abraham
I have explain this whole process to you so many times over and over again. - Spencer
Praveen - Hanuman Junction - Hyderabad x2
Bola - Accra - Cotonou Alex - Accra - Abidjan Austin - Accra - Abidjan
George - Accra - Cotonou - Lome - Niamtougou Toks London - Milford Haven
x170 Engineer Cooke vs. Temeraire x8
Last edited by sunshine on Thu Jul 02, 2009 3:06 pm; edited 5 times in total |
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Wright B Hindyou
Elite Baiter
Joined: 11 May 2004
Posts: 1795
Location: Bangkok
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Posted:
Wed Jun 17, 2009 8:21 am |
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It's wonderful, thrilling work, but a bit short. What's he making, a Tom and Jerry cartoon?
I understand, from the Rankle Jones nonsense, that a full script is 130 pages (1 page per minute of film).
He needs to produce much more before he sees any money.
PS: If you need a director, the legendary Swedish director Raggar Snurdsson is available. Perhaps we can safari the Lad to Hammerfest, where Snurdsson has his studio. |
_________________ "YOU ARE A DISGRACE TO HUMANITY" - Douglas Minning
"bastard like you, I will kill you with my hand, son of nobody. May your soul rust in help." - Titi Andrew
"I trusted you very much without knowing that you are a drug addit person" - Emma Bambara
"THIS YOUR BEHAVIOR IS IRELEVANT AND CROSPOLOS CARACTER" - Madam Clarrise Keita.
"you must speak beter because we dont train mad people in this company." - Incredible Self-Baiting Pastor Joe
Last edited by Wright B Hindyou on Wed Jun 17, 2009 8:28 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Master of Puppets
Baiting Guru
Joined: 12 Mar 2009
Posts: 3294
Location: Pulling the Strings
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Posted:
Wed Jun 17, 2009 8:25 am |
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AL1VE
419Eater is my life
Joined: 20 Jan 2009
Posts: 445
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Posted:
Wed Jun 17, 2009 8:45 am |
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Wow
horny lad who likes dragons wrote: |
...and the DRAGONs panis is getting erect. The dragon has a big and long dick,
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He needs to do a storyboard ofcourse |
_________________
Magnus: Lagos --> Cotonou
Benjamin: Accra --> Monrovia
Mustafa: Banjul --> Dakar
Steve & Santos: Johannesburg --> Maputo
Gift & Ubochie: Johannesburg --> Maputo
Gift: Johannesburg --> Harare
John: Accra --> Abidjan |
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Albator
Elite Baiter
Joined: 18 Jun 2008
Posts: 1036
Location: Belgium
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Posted:
Wed Jun 17, 2009 9:00 am |
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A great beginning
But we want more! |
_________________ "You are the most worsted beast i have ever come across"- P4tr1ck S4mb0
"U ARE JUST AN INFIRMINATE BASTARD CLOCKING LIKE AN OLD HEN" - Sh4m1m Al4v1
"You are probably the patient of psychiatrystic hospital" - Oks4n4 Ch4yk4
x4 x7
x64 x11
(co-bait with MoP)
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frank.lester
419Eater is my life
Joined: 08 Aug 2008
Posts: 475
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Posted:
Wed Jun 17, 2009 9:31 am |
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ahh, the dragon draggons again and then ask Unicorn did you enjoy ...
oh yeah. tell him, he must really get in to it, to write a good skript, the boss should pay for.
we hope for more. dragons and swords and fire and unicorns. and more dragons more ... |
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Yastreb
Common Street Thawth Vergabon
Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 17388
Location: Leading my wolf pack
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Posted:
Wed Jun 17, 2009 10:13 am |
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There should be an Elf involved. I'm sure Pinkdragon would understand! |
_________________ Son of a bitch!!! Your dead!!! Everything about your stinking poor life is dead!!! Get off my way you son of a bitch mother ....a man without father bastard....your dead Ok
May you never se the end of the year, May you sick and die in JESUS NAME AMEN.
MARK MY WORD, YOU SHALL FALL SICK, IF YOU DONT PLEASE WITH ME, YOU SHALL DIE OF THE SICKNESS, THIS IS MY FINAL WORD TO YOU
I HAVE PLACED YOU UNDER MY ORACLE GODS,
YOU SHALL CRY AND BEG FOR FORGIVENESS OR YOU DIE
x5 x2 x 246
x 5 - Oyenka Chidinma Lagos-Cotonou; Dickyboi Lagos-Accra; Femmy Lagos-Porto Novo; "Woody" Accra-Singapore; Henry Philip Abuja-Natitingou w/MG & DSW
x 7 |
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Corona
Baiting Guru
Joined: 21 Sep 2006
Posts: 8809
Location: On ya left!
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Posted:
Wed Jun 17, 2009 10:16 am |
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TheBarSteward2
Not quite a Newb
Joined: 04 Jun 2008
Posts: 74
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Posted:
Wed Jun 17, 2009 10:49 am |
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Brilliant. Although why Joy would bother messing about with a Dragon when she has a unicorn all to herself (with a very useful apendage on its head) is of concern to me. I suspect she has loose morals.
Can we make Joy a nun so as not to offend my religious beliefs? |
_________________ I'm not a newbie! Long time straight-baiter, I just don't come here that often, and usually forget my account details when I do. |
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Master of Puppets
Baiting Guru
Joined: 12 Mar 2009
Posts: 3294
Location: Pulling the Strings
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Posted:
Wed Jun 17, 2009 10:56 am |
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Yastreb
Common Street Thawth Vergabon
Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 17388
Location: Leading my wolf pack
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Posted:
Wed Jun 17, 2009 11:00 am |
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Well, only virgins can tame or ride a Unicorn, which would imply that whatever is being done doesn't breach Joy's chastity...
... uh, maybe we don't talk about that. |
_________________ Son of a bitch!!! Your dead!!! Everything about your stinking poor life is dead!!! Get off my way you son of a bitch mother ....a man without father bastard....your dead Ok
May you never se the end of the year, May you sick and die in JESUS NAME AMEN.
MARK MY WORD, YOU SHALL FALL SICK, IF YOU DONT PLEASE WITH ME, YOU SHALL DIE OF THE SICKNESS, THIS IS MY FINAL WORD TO YOU
I HAVE PLACED YOU UNDER MY ORACLE GODS,
YOU SHALL CRY AND BEG FOR FORGIVENESS OR YOU DIE
x5 x2 x 246
x 5 - Oyenka Chidinma Lagos-Cotonou; Dickyboi Lagos-Accra; Femmy Lagos-Porto Novo; "Woody" Accra-Singapore; Henry Philip Abuja-Natitingou w/MG & DSW
x 7 |
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JMRazor
Baiting Guru
Joined: 03 Mar 2006
Posts: 7103
Location: Yes
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Posted:
Wed Jun 17, 2009 12:51 pm |
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Quote: |
Joy screen and secreened owww, hmmmmm,
goood, harder and so on |
I LOL'd.... |
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Worf
Elite Baiter
Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 1690
Location: Florida - it's hot down here
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Posted:
Wed Jun 17, 2009 3:42 pm |
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Wow, I'd never have thought that Rankl3 Jon3s had competition, but this lad might be even worse |
_________________ "Honey there no way to go out side camp without peppers and passport." - M1racle Y0rm1e
"Either you are lying or you are not telling the truth here, buddy." - H4rrison Ford (the lad, not the actor of course)
"you are an embodiment of permanent failure, an epitome of misfortune of life . . . a disgrace to your generation" - Lambert Lee
= Rev. Michael Jeans - Dakar to Ziguinchor
= Rev. Michael Jeans - Dakar to St. Louis, Senegal (co-bait with OxygenDeprived)
= Mattar - Abidjan, Ivory Coast to Accra, Ghana
= Stanley, co-bait with VDJ, Gadget and Jayhawk - Aba to Benin City
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sunshine
Baiting Guru
Joined: 13 Feb 2008
Posts: 2804
Location: Anywhere a lad needs setting on fire
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Posted:
Wed Jun 17, 2009 5:18 pm |
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Glad you all liked it
I think Senegal lads are great, they are buggers to get off-script but when they do they do it big-style!
The director has told her it's brilliant but his CGI people are having trouble following the action so if she can do some storyboards by the end of the week he'll personally sort out 5000 Euros and a laptop to be sent.
I've told him that if he can't draw stick figures will do.
Hmmm.. stick dragon porn... I call rule 34
@yastreb... I told him to make Joy an elf and if she wanted the part he'd get her some stick-on pointy ears like Liv Tyler wore in LOTR |
_________________ so dont push my spirit to do a bad fasting for your head if not you will confam your self as a died person okay - Pastor Divine
OBOSH WILL KILL YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. YOU WILL NEVER SEE GOOD THING IN LIFE. OGUN WILL KILL YOU BASTARD SUN OF OBOSH. - Dr Oilyseagoon
AN ALIEN YOU ARE FROM THE PIT OF HELL - Abraham
I have explain this whole process to you so many times over and over again. - Spencer
Praveen - Hanuman Junction - Hyderabad x2
Bola - Accra - Cotonou Alex - Accra - Abidjan Austin - Accra - Abidjan
George - Accra - Cotonou - Lome - Niamtougou Toks London - Milford Haven
x170 Engineer Cooke vs. Temeraire x8 |
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Saint Arnold
Elite Baiter
Joined: 26 Sep 2006
Posts: 1261
Location: By the kegerator
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Posted:
Wed Jun 17, 2009 6:56 pm |
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Quote: |
Grondar the Flatulent |
I couldn't believe your lad had come up with this, then I noticed that you'd provided some dialog. Excellent name. |
_________________ The baiter formerly known as Krona
Our legal team are on standby for the next line of action in this very interesting case.already they are still studying the MTCN number that you sent,it will be used as evidence together with your full names and address,when this epic battle commences. - the one and only Charles Soludo
--------------------------
x15 (RIP) x7 x1
Lottery lad, Benin City - Abuja A new minister, Lagos-Benin City The same minister, Lagos - Tamale, Ghana
Dr. Johnson - Abidjan-Abuja and back again (so far! - 1666 miles round trip)
<----because life can seem bleary and bleak without one. TS
Because Lotta is a great and beautiful mod!
x21 |
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kraftstrom
Master Baiter
Joined: 20 Mar 2008
Posts: 107
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Posted:
Wed Jun 17, 2009 7:08 pm |
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I want this turned into a movie!!
"... and then all my clothes fall off me" LOL. LOL! |
_________________
"You bastards think it’s funny,
Lyin’ and thieving all your life,
Think all there is is money,
Got your future strapped up tight,
Just ‘Cos You Got The Power,
That don’t mean you got the right"
"ONE DAY YOU WILL DIE LIKE ANT!" - Apostle Obinna |
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Yastreb
Common Street Thawth Vergabon
Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 17388
Location: Leading my wolf pack
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Posted:
Wed Jun 17, 2009 9:02 pm |
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@Krona - Grunthos the Flatulent is from Hitchhiker's Guide, FWIW. |
_________________ Son of a bitch!!! Your dead!!! Everything about your stinking poor life is dead!!! Get off my way you son of a bitch mother ....a man without father bastard....your dead Ok
May you never se the end of the year, May you sick and die in JESUS NAME AMEN.
MARK MY WORD, YOU SHALL FALL SICK, IF YOU DONT PLEASE WITH ME, YOU SHALL DIE OF THE SICKNESS, THIS IS MY FINAL WORD TO YOU
I HAVE PLACED YOU UNDER MY ORACLE GODS,
YOU SHALL CRY AND BEG FOR FORGIVENESS OR YOU DIE
x5 x2 x 246
x 5 - Oyenka Chidinma Lagos-Cotonou; Dickyboi Lagos-Accra; Femmy Lagos-Porto Novo; "Woody" Accra-Singapore; Henry Philip Abuja-Natitingou w/MG & DSW
x 7 |
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Nurse Nasty
Baiting Guru
Joined: 31 Aug 2005
Posts: 7251
Location: Australia, where a dingo stole my eski
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Posted:
Wed Jun 17, 2009 10:25 pm |
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El Nombre
419Eater is my life
Joined: 06 Jun 2009
Posts: 375
Location: slapping the nearest lad with a spoon
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Posted:
Wed Jun 17, 2009 10:41 pm |
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in all fairness... thats epic stuff... i've still got a long way to go before i can get anything 1/50th as good as this |
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manbiteslion
Baiting Guru
Joined: 12 Dec 2007
Posts: 4816
Location: Connecting my chair and keyboard
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Posted:
Wed Jun 17, 2009 10:54 pm |
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You might find it hard to secure the services of a dragon, would your lad consider wearing a dragon suit? Perhaps he could send you a trophy oops costume photograph? |
_________________ Premium Wimp Convincer - Click Me! |
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BattleHawk77
Master of Master Baiters
Joined: 30 Nov 2005
Posts: 609
Location: 7.2° N, 5.9° E, FL410, Heading 230, aboard Striker 419
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Posted:
Thu Jun 18, 2009 3:43 am |
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Dang, I leave for a year, come back, and find nothing's really changed.
Wow, this lad is funny. It's been a while since I had a good laugh. It would be interesting to see clothes just fall off of someone. I had dreams like that in middle school (heck, it's still a great idea now!).
Tell him you may also be interested in a sequel! Maybe see if he can work Moby Dick in somehow.
A shame he isn't an actor. Then, he could become a member of SAG! |
_________________ My name is Hawk. Battle Hawk.
---------
"It’s my pleasure to have your mail confirming earlier discussion had with Mr GREG who had sort my Chambers services on your behalf"
"THank you so much for this update and I am very mush happy to know that the bank has conted you. Please do send them all the required informations today along with the fees as mentioned. This is to make sure that you make ahead of time."
"I only signed for your trnasfer approval due to that i want you to proof to you we dont run a scam here and we wont tolerate that words from you anymore."
x6, with thanks to James and Joseph
First site kill
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Connie L. Gus
Moderator
Joined: 07 Oct 2005
Posts: 7243
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow
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Posted:
Thu Jun 18, 2009 4:14 pm |
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The problem is that a one minute script is what a lad thinks is normal. The next trick will be to get another lad to write a musical score with saxophones and bass guitars. |
_________________ x8
LISTEN TO ME WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR ONE OF THOSE CHEAP CROOK OR WHAT -tobi donito
-a few,
LISTEN I CAN NOT TAKE YOUR SHIT ANY LONGER WE HAVE WHROTE A PETITION AGAINST YOU TO THE FBI WITH ALL OUR EVIDENCE YOU ARE INTO PROSTITUTION,DRUG DEALING, FORGERY, CREDIT CARDS FORGRY WESTEN UNION FALSIFICATION,DRUGING MEN,COMMETING MURDER, STEALING, DRUNCARD, ALL THIS WE HAVE THE EVIDENCE TO PROOF OUR CASE AGAINST YOU.-Johnson Hill
I am not finding it any funny...Henry A., Lagos, Nigeria to Cotonou, Benin, WIMPed
I am stranderd. Henry A. Lagos to Accra, WIMPed for 67 days.
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ScoobyDon't
Master Baiter
Joined: 09 Oct 2008
Posts: 187
Location: The toilet
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Posted:
Thu Jun 18, 2009 4:46 pm |
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Scam Patroller
Baiting Guru
Joined: 08 Jul 2004
Posts: 11857
Location: UK
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Posted:
Thu Jun 18, 2009 4:50 pm |
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BattleHawk77
Master of Master Baiters
Joined: 30 Nov 2005
Posts: 609
Location: 7.2° N, 5.9° E, FL410, Heading 230, aboard Striker 419
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Posted:
Thu Jun 18, 2009 5:04 pm |
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@sunshine
Yes, we must have a video of the script thus far! Tell him that if it's good enough, maybe you can get him a job as a Hollywood actor. After all, you helped Goerge Clooney get his start.
@scooby
Are you free? (re: your avatar) |
_________________ My name is Hawk. Battle Hawk.
---------
"It’s my pleasure to have your mail confirming earlier discussion had with Mr GREG who had sort my Chambers services on your behalf"
"THank you so much for this update and I am very mush happy to know that the bank has conted you. Please do send them all the required informations today along with the fees as mentioned. This is to make sure that you make ahead of time."
"I only signed for your trnasfer approval due to that i want you to proof to you we dont run a scam here and we wont tolerate that words from you anymore."
x6, with thanks to James and Joseph
First site kill
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