It's English Jim, but not as we know it

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Posted: Fri Jun 12, 2009 10:32 am

OK, my dyslexic outback bloke has had frequent problems with the French lotteries he keeps winning, because he doesn't speak French, and the scammers don't have much English - except via Babelfish. Here's the latest:

Quote:

We acknowledge receipt of your mail.
We inform you that we show delay in the constitution of your file.
Will know that my cabinet has the role of constituting your file and of once initiating the procedure of withdrawal of profit in possession of the certificate of act of recipient who will be delivered to us by the public prosecutor of dimension D '' ivory in order to be able to transmit your file to the bank for the releasing of your funds.
It is quite sour in direction that the financial institution in charge of the payment of your profit will be able in all safety to transfer of your funds on your account in your home country.
Consequently, award-winning please fill the formalities legal and administrative, in order to allow me to carry out the update of your files and to transmit them to the bank to finalize the transaction of your assets.
NB: Please contact me by telephone as of reception of this mail for more information knowing quite sour the state of your file which with a great delay.

Posted: Fri Jun 12, 2009 1:36 pm

@ mr spock, they appear to be beings from "dimension D" Smile

i suspect that is cote d'ivoire [ivory coast] in a parallel universe.

Posted: Fri Jun 12, 2009 10:42 pm

You may be correct R2.

After Brad replied:

Quote:

At last I know what yuore saying, sorta, but I shuold piont uot that yuore responsible for the delays, by writing stuff in French when I told yuo I didnt know it, not happy there Jan, and yuor phone number isnt connecting, are you shure that its fair dinkum?

The Lad's reply was shorter, but still not good - especially the second paragraph:

Quote:

the phone number is indeed exact it is right which for any call coming from the external one made up the number owes by omitting the zero (0) what gives in return (+225) x-xxx-xxx.
Ci those I on standby remain form of withdrawal of profit of which you did not have turn over me from there to open your file of complaint of profit Mr Brad1ey M0rrihan.

Okay...

Quote:

Still no joy, the problem may be at my end, but thats not the thing here, I want to know what Im complianing abuot.

And now we have clarity for the first time:

Quote:

I do not understand you Mr Brad1ey M0rrihan.

ETA missing quote tags

Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 8:46 pm

The latest...

To Brad's question...

Quote:

Well, heres a cuople of things yuo wrote that raeely confused me, "please fill the formaliteis legal and administrative", this deosnt add up, and "form of withdrawal of profit of which yuo did not have turn over me from there to open yuor file of compliant of profit", what form and what file, and what compliant?
Plaese explian.

... came this reply...

Quote:

following the very good reception of your mail I see well that you and I us sums not understood yet until there I will like to seize the occasion for you ask quite sour at the time of your first contact with me it was why to the Juste as I say it to you until now I am not to you. Otherwise concerning to me I am lawyer accredited for the complaint of profit of lottery of which you are for your information an award-winning because your enamel was chooses following an electronic pulling several addresses enamel of which your address forms of it obviously part. for what is claimed to you of my share it is right the form of withdrawal of profit which will enable me to open a file on your behalf of award-winning. Otherwise if you are not in possession of this document comprising of information on your handing-over of profit the gin will be automatically cancelled.
I believe well to have explained to you into good and of the form what put to me in liaison with you.
Ci those I wish you a very good end of the week hoping to have your news as of tomorrow

... and Brad is still baffled!

Trophy Videos · Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 10:15 pm

It looks to me like he wants to sell you some sour gin. Some real rotgut stuff. Laughing

** Retired ** Joined: 14 May 2007 Posts: 750 Location: Air

Quote:

the gin will be automatically cancelled.

Tell him not to worry about the Gin, your a Fosters man anyway Smile

Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 12:34 pm

Taking recent advice to heart, I replied:

Quote:

So whats this document yuore talking abuot, whats it got to do with my dental work, and do it matter if I drink beer instaed, plaese let me know.

Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 10:06 am

And I got this:

Quote:

I write to you while hoping to know quite sour if you are quite sour to be in possession of the known as document differently please agree to put an end to our conversations.
I thank you in advance for your comprehension.

I have no frakking idea!

So:

Quote:

What document are yuo talking abuot?

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