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Sid Vicious
Master Baiter
Joined: 13 Mar 2009
Posts: 189
Location: The medicine cabinet woofing down @ load of Paracetemols ;)
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Posted:
Sat Apr 11, 2009 8:59 am |
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Okay, thought i would start this off as i have not long got back from my local Newsagent/Greengrocers (theres the clue!) Bought 8 Bananas for £2, they all had a slight tinge of green to them but nothing to raise an eyebrow over. Got home and proceeded to 'try' and remove the skin. It did'nt come off in the usual way of pulling from the top four times and then munching away! Rather, the skin came away as if it was like long wet hair through a comb? So in all my wisdom i ignored this as i know that once i start to get the pithy skin away from the edible fruit inside it will pop out. After about 10 minutes of gouging miniscule bits out with my thumbnail as it was totally bonded to the fruit inside i had that Eureka moment - a potato peeler, i proceeded to peel away, smug in the fact that no Chimpanzee would have thought of using a potato peeler to solve this problem and that's why i live in a stone house and they live up trees. Minutes later it was ready and by now i was looking forward to the fruits (sorry) of my labour. I pushed it into my mouth like those actresses from the wrong side of Hollywood and bit down on it. It made the same kind of sound as biting into a freshly picked apple, a kind of crunching noise? How odd i thought maybe its just 'Super' fresh and not stodgey and squishy like an over ripened one. Then my taste buds kick in, it was just like i was eating the pith that i had spent so long to remove, that starchy, dry acrid foul taste. Rushing to the bathroom and spitting it all over the sink and toilet just to get it out of my mouth. A glass of mouthwash and a rather extended cleaning of my teeth and some more Mouthwash and Hey Presto its sorted. All 8 Bananas are as hard as those Specialist 'Lady Toys' but these don't hold batteries. As i was writing this out i came to understand that i may indeed live in a nice stone house and Chimpanzee's are confined to tree dwelling BUT a Chimpanzee would have known that the Banana was NOT ripe and would'nt have even attempted to eat it! So on that Evolutionary family tree - Chimps 1 and Jon (me) a big fat 0. So endeth the lesson.. cheers sid
and the next please |
_________________ Me - Viva La Revolution! Ernest Kojo - WHAT REVALUATION?
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Gaz
Master of Master Baiters
Joined: 17 May 2005
Posts: 661
Location: Toronto, ON
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Posted:
Sat Apr 11, 2009 11:24 am |
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A sea slug when I was on holiday a few years back (the chef bet me I couldnt eat it lol), also fish eye soup (which is literally just water and fish eyes) and a King Rib that I bought from Lidl once (that was the worst of the 3) |
_________________ YOU SENT NO PAYMENT YOU IDIOT AND MURDDERER!!!!!! - Kenneth Duke
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benjaminbunny
Baiting Guru
Joined: 22 May 2006
Posts: 3534
Location: escargotland
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Posted:
Sat Apr 11, 2009 11:56 am |
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Master of Puppets
Baiting Guru
Joined: 12 Mar 2009
Posts: 3294
Location: Pulling the Strings
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Posted:
Sat Apr 11, 2009 11:59 am |
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Yesterday evening. I was about to have a fun evening with some friend playing poker (without any real money involved ). Two of them had, however, decided to bake a cake... A good idea in itself.
This was one of those almost-ready things where you need only add water and egg to the mix, pop it in the oven and bake it. Foolproof, innit? Wrong!
One of the two geniuses had misread the instructions and added the egg (so far, so good) and 750 ml of water (Wrong!!! The instructions said 75 ml). As if this wasn't bad enough he had decided that it could still be salvaged by cooking the water out... As was to be expected, this didn't work well with the egg already added... They still put the thing in the oven and when I arrived they had produced something quite burnt-looking but still to hot to cut/eat... So we let it cool down and, sometime into the game, decided to try this...
Upon cutting the thing we discovered it too be something quite jelly-like with a hard (burnt) edge to it... Despite knowing better we tasted it and discovered that it had no chocolate-taste (it was supposed to be that kind of cake) whatsoever, though it still looked dark. The foul abomination tasted somewhat like cooked egg but had the structure of something jelly-like.... Yuck.. I still have cold shivers thinking about that... (lot's of water/beer/crisps washed down the taste though..) |
_________________ x4
Oke: Todger club entry submission + (Co-bait with Albator) |
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Sid Vicious
Master Baiter
Joined: 13 Mar 2009
Posts: 189
Location: The medicine cabinet woofing down @ load of Paracetemols ;)
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Posted:
Sat Apr 11, 2009 1:04 pm |
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Pity i was'nt there, as a baker in my youth i would have advised them to turn the heat right down and place in the bottom of the oven. Removing from the oven from time to time this will dissipate and assist evaporating the excess water. This process would obviously take a lot,lot longer which from your point actually would have been a good thing as you would have already left to go home before it was ready to <strike>eat</strike> throw straight in the bin |
_________________ Me - Viva La Revolution! Ernest Kojo - WHAT REVALUATION?
Johnson Christian -THE GUY YOU WHERE DEALING WITH FROM NIGERIA WAS A VICTIM OF THE RUBBERS WHO KILLED HIM
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manbiteslion
Baiting Guru
Joined: 12 Dec 2007
Posts: 4816
Location: Connecting my chair and keyboard
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Posted:
Sat Apr 11, 2009 1:53 pm |
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That's not a banana! It's plantain, which you have to cook I'm certain. I know as I made the same mistake once myself...
My worst eat still has to be Durian - next time you're in Malaysia, try it...once and once only |
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Cherrie
** Mentoring Guru **
Joined: 23 Jun 2004
Posts: 1746
Location: Still digging up dirt...but now somewhere else.
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Posted:
Sat Apr 11, 2009 2:36 pm |
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Quote: |
My worst eat still has to be Durian |
Not so much the taste...the smell is probably worse.
Now don't start me off on eating weird stuff. Every so often I disappear into the jungles of Northern Thailand for a week or so.
Nothing out of the ordinary on the menu there...Frogs..Rats...Snake. There is even a little man that treks to the door once a week selling insects. The Thai's eat them like peanuts
I can never understand with all the great food they have available out here...why they eat catapillers?
My wife's favourite as all the Mod team are aware is...'Squid in toffee' |
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BRUIN
Baiting Guru
Joined: 10 Apr 2006
Posts: 11329
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow
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Posted:
Sat Apr 11, 2009 3:21 pm |
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I will nominate two "worst" things I have ever eaten:
(A) Jalapeno corn bread - the child who helped make it misunderstood that the recipe called for 1/4 teaspoon of chili powder - she added 14 teaspoons of chili powder. The impact was unbelievable.
(b) Brownies laced with quinine. When I was a senior in high school, a couple of girls thought it would be funny to bring brownies to school, "improved" with quinine, and pass them out. Taste is absolutely horrible, and it won't go away for a while. Suspensions followed.
Bruin |
_________________ ------------------------------
Ivory Coast to Ghana by Margaret Don & Angus (WIMP) - approx 524 miles, round trip
Lagos to Ghana (WIMP) by Emanuel, approx 454 miles round trip
YOU CAN GO TO HAIL - Barrister Benard Koffi
YOU HAVE REALLY INCONVINSE THE CHAMBERS AND WE HAVE NEVER ENCOUNTER SUCH DIFICULTIES - Barrister Sinega Amah
I will not and will never link you up to someone that is reputable - Thomas Malcom
UR A FUCKING DESTITUTE. U WERE A DRAIN DUCK AND NOW U A SCAM FRAUDSTAR -- SMALL TIME 419. - Marcus Owen
<--- TS certified |
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lotta
Baiting Guru
Joined: 08 Jun 2005
Posts: 13613
Location: 2 Speckled Cct Springfield Lakes QLD 4300
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Posted:
Sat Apr 11, 2009 3:34 pm |
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Sea Urchin - specifically Uni sushi - it's absolutely vile.
Quote: |
My worst eat still has to be Durian |
Durian is very tasty....it's the smell that's awful |
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Dec 11, 2007
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Yastreb
Common Street Thawth Vergabon
Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 17388
Location: Leading my wolf pack
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Posted:
Sat Apr 11, 2009 3:50 pm |
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Probably the worst thing I've eaten was a tin of steak and egg from an Australian Army ration pack. Alexei Sayle did a skit about food additives in which he mentioned something called biquezerate - "the stuff they put in tinned macaroni cheese to make it smell like sick"; well, tinned steak and egg is biquezerate served neat. |
_________________ Son of a bitch!!! Your dead!!! Everything about your stinking poor life is dead!!! Get off my way you son of a bitch mother ....a man without father bastard....your dead Ok
May you never se the end of the year, May you sick and die in JESUS NAME AMEN.
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x 7 |
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music man
Baiting Guru
Joined: 22 Sep 2005
Posts: 14807
Location: East Harlemshire , yo!
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Posted:
Sat Apr 11, 2009 7:46 pm |
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Anything cooked by my ex-wife |
_________________ x2 x2 x104 x213 x4 x20 x4 x2 x1 x2 x2 x2 x2 x2 x13
You will rot in jail.watch your back- any shadow could be mine ! YOU ARE VERY EASY TO TRACK IN YOU NEIGHBOURHOOD ! DRUNKARD AND A SCUMBAG LIKE YOU!
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So fuck off..dont reply me again until the cops get your stinking ass...
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$4.002million and £214K in fake cheques taken out of circulation. (updated May 2009)
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sir scam alot
Baiting Guru
Joined: 19 Mar 2008
Posts: 5076
Location: Louisiana
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Posted:
Sat Apr 11, 2009 9:34 pm |
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Tripe. Nasty, nasty stuff and it was prepared by a former chef from the Russian Tea Room so it was professionally done.
Eating bugs doesn't bother me but tripe turns my stomach. |
_________________ = Rev. JB Johnson. Lome to Parakou "i thought it will just be a day jouney. unknowingly to me that it will last up to one week."
2 = Harrison: Owerri, Nigeria to Cotonou, Benin and Accra, Ghana "i know ive been a sucker for twat "
= (Group safari) Oy3nka Ch1dinma: Lagos to Cotonou: "Thank you so much for the embrassment."
= Group safari - Dan Nkwerre: Port Harcourt to Abeche, Chad
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x15 (some survived) x280
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Over $1 million USD in fake checks/money orders confiscated |
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Juan Freizwidatt
Associate
Joined: 18 Apr 2004
Posts: 20834
Location: Hanging out at In-n-Out
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Posted:
Sat Apr 11, 2009 9:59 pm |
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Many years ago I was a poor, young student hitchhiking through France. I had dinner with some friends in an inexpensive but popular cafeteria. I saw one dish among the entrées that looked really good -- all browned and dripping with melted cheese and breadcrumbs. I could have asked what it was but I simply assumed it was macaroni and cheese. Imagine my surprise when I took a bite and discovered it was calf brains. |
_________________ "SATAN WILL KILL YOU . BECAUSE YOU ARE A DAUGHTER OF MERMAID"
"HOW DOES IT SOUND TO YOU THAT ANOTHER PERSON IS DEALING WITH YOU AND ASK YOU TO CONTACT ANOTHER PERSON AND NOW YOU SAID THAT YOU WANT TO DEAL WITH THE OTHER PERSON WITHOUT THE KNOWING OF THE PERSON THAT ASK YOU TO CONTACT THE OTHER PERSON"
I apologize again that I will lick the dust from your sandals - Shorty
x4: Shorty
x 16:
US lad w/Capone: ( )
- ATL>DC>ATL>Vegas>Seattle>ATL>San Diego>LA>ATL>Seattle>ATL>WY>ATL>Aspen>ATL (21K+ miles, $11K+ expenses)
Shorty w/bohigal:
- Lagos>Abidjan
Random lads:
- Douala>Korup; Lagos>Cotonou>Parakou; Cotonou>Niger border; Cotonou>Pendjari>jail in Tanguietta; Asaba>Abuja; Accra>Tamale
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Chibuike
Master of Master Baiters
Joined: 07 Mar 2006
Posts: 693
Location: My corner of the world...
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Posted:
Sat Apr 11, 2009 10:08 pm |
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Your basic garden variety of worms......I was only 4 years old. |
_________________ "I didn't know Oscar was a pimp!" Chibuike
"simple....go fuck a tree trunk" Phillip Johnson
<--I got ponies! Wahhooo! |
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smartbomb
** Retired **
Joined: 14 May 2007
Posts: 750
Location: Air
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Posted:
Sat Apr 11, 2009 10:34 pm |
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One of my favourite memories as a kid is sitting down to my mum's home made rice pudding on a Sunday evening a little while after Sunday lunch. Out of the blue, I grandly announced to my wife that I was going to make a home made rice pudding after it came up in conversation just a couple of months back. I phoned my Mum and asked her what I needed and then duly took the car to Sainsbury's to buy the ingredients. I got home and phoned her again to ask what I need to put in the big glass cooking bowl. Having added the appropriate measures of pudding rice, milk, sugar and butter - I set the oven to 200 degrees and left it only to check and stir every 10 mins then every 5 once it starts to set, like Mum advised.
10 mins in, nothing much happening. 20 mins in, still not much, but I take it out and stir. 30 mins, very hot, but little progress. Annoyed, I put it back in for 5 mins. I take it out, no progress. I call my Mum and accuse her of telling me to do it wrong which she assures me she hasnt. She asks if I actually switched the oven on, to which I respond furiously, declaring I am not that stupid and that the stuff is actually piping hot.
Another 10 mins, no progress, I call Mum and accuse her of doing something wrong with the ingredients. At this point my wife comes home. Seeing me visibly stressed she asks whats wrong. A foul mouthed tirade of insults towards the pudding followed for a good 5 minutes. She then went into the kitchen and returned not 10 seconds later and calmly said 'you had the grill on'.
Essentially, I had 2 pints of grilled milk. |
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Master of Puppets
Baiting Guru
Joined: 12 Mar 2009
Posts: 3294
Location: Pulling the Strings
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Posted:
Sat Apr 11, 2009 10:42 pm |
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Larson
Master of Master Baiters
Joined: 02 Dec 2008
Posts: 518
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Posted:
Sat Apr 11, 2009 11:03 pm |
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The worst (I can remember) would probably be Vegemite, but I'm sure I've eater worse things in the past. |
_________________ x8
listen i don't beg you money if you don't interested through this transaction please kindly remove your hand and stop contact me - Razak Konan, Malaysia
OK BYE AND NEVER CONTACT ME AGAIN FUCK YOUR MUMMY BOTTOM , MUST THIS NIGHT MARK IT SOME WHERE, OK. - Simon Legree / Christopher Moore, Nigeria |
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ParaNoid
** REMEMBERED **
Joined: 12 Sep 2006
Posts: 5123
Location: Looking for Steward.
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Posted:
Sun Apr 12, 2009 2:15 am |
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I traveled to the UK with my family in 1976. We were in London and visited Harrods. They had quite an assortment of smoked fish. I bought an ounce of several kinds thinking it would be a nice treat. I ate as much as I could and still had fish left over. I ended up throwing most of it away. I don't eat smoked fish anymore.
@ Juan, I too had calf brains and scrambled eggs. Horrific... I don't know that it is available any more due to CJV disease. Bleck... |
_________________ Gold Coins here
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"If I get mad at you, please just understand me. I am just being ParaNoid because I love you so much." - unknown
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crashhoot
Moderator
Joined: 08 Aug 2004
Posts: 4237
Location: Looking for the petting zoo.
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Posted:
Sun Apr 12, 2009 3:53 am |
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When I was in seventh grade, we had to read 'Robinson Crusoe'.
Our teacher took it upon himself to assemble all of the food items eaten by the title character. It took him two weeks to find everything. He then laid out quite a buffet for the class. Everything from raw salted fish to dried eel to toasted cockroaches.
I dutifully tried a bite of everything (despite the fact that I'm allergic to fish), but now I stick to good old meat and potatos, thank you! |
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Armageddon! |
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Inkerman
419Eater is my life
Joined: 20 Jun 2005
Posts: 384
Location: North of the Border
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Posted:
Sun Apr 12, 2009 9:51 am |
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MOP Said;
Quote: |
Two of them had, however, decided to bake a cake... A good idea in itself. |
A cake, in Holland. Ran out of rolling papers had you? He He He.
When I was a toddler (1964 ish) in Heaton Park, Manchester, the deer roamed free. My mum says I had eaten quite a bit of deer poo before anybody realised what I was scoffing. |
_________________ Fail To Plan, Plan To Fail. |
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Slightlyoutofit
Baiting Guru
Joined: 13 Feb 2007
Posts: 14310
Location: Foraging for Nuts.
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Posted:
Sun Apr 12, 2009 10:05 am |
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Worst thing I've ever ingested wasn't eaten, it was a drink.
True story.
I was on a 15 mile fun run with my rugby team where we visited pubs on route.
In those pubs we collected money for charity and had a drink - a pint with a shot in it. The drink was named by the first one to reach the pub and everyone had to have one.
The first couple of stop-offs weren't too bad - people ordered stuff like Guiness and port or lager with vodka but after the 6 or 7th, things started to get a bit silly and it was shit like Bitter with creme de menthe. Everyone was starting to feel a bit queasy. Especially with the running in between.
The last stop was Cider and Baileys. This shit curdled like a mofo and I made the big mistake of putting my glass down after a couple of sips and going for a leak. When I returned, I noticed my glass had been moved but didn't think anything of it. The contents looked disgusting but shit, this was for charity and I had to do my duty, so I downed the bastard in one. It didn't taste at all like I remembered. Far thicker with a bitter aftertaste.
Then I looked across the bar and saw our prop, picking up empty glasses and puking into them. At the same time, I saw my full glass on the table on the way to the toilets where I had left it. |
_________________
God will see you true for all this you have done to me you bastard. - Collins Kalu
MAY THE HAND THAT TYPE ON KEYBORD BECOME STRICKEN AND TRANSMIT VIRUS TO YOU ENTIRE BODY. - Dr Linda Akeem
oh what a mess its time cabbage punks like u will be expose for trully what they are. - David Cole |
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drew.p.coque
419Eater is my life
Joined: 04 May 2005
Posts: 383
Location: front, and low. lower!
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Posted:
Sun Apr 12, 2009 2:00 pm |
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snails.
from a tin ! |
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Doodle Bug
Master of Master Baiters
Joined: 06 Feb 2008
Posts: 720
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Posted:
Sun Apr 12, 2009 4:25 pm |
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stuffed vine leaves |
_________________ FUCK OFF. DONT CONTACT ME ANYMORE
you must tell the truth at least you supposed to tell me the truth.
i am not here to check or look for people piss in the streets of Abidjan
Who is this person Mickey Mouse???
trying to dercieve hoorable men like me. You are stupid man ok. |
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PRS Girly Girl
Will Post for Food
Joined: 06 Mar 2007
Posts: 1174
Location: Any place where cute shoes are on sale.
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Posted:
Sun Apr 12, 2009 7:20 pm |
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Chicken liver. The most disgusting taste.....ever. I'm getting queasy just thinking about it. I'm off to eat some chocolate to get the phantom taste out of my mouth. |
_________________ "A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are." Chauncey Mitchell Depew
"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." Robert A. Heinlein
x3
Banjul, The Gambia to Dakar, Senegal and back. 0usman C4mar4 |
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Connie L. Gus
Moderator
Joined: 07 Oct 2005
Posts: 7243
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow
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Posted:
Sun Apr 12, 2009 9:12 pm |
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Slightlyoutofit wrote: |
True story.
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I was going with natto, balut or lutefish but you win. |
_________________ x8
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-a few,
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