Gold Diggers Safari #3 - Trouble in Accra!

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Posted: Wed Jun 03, 2009 11:23 am

Here is the latest. It's not looking good. Link to Google Maps - He's 500m North of this roundabout.

Quote:

I am hooked here by the hotel owners so please do send the person fast or send to me western union which is more faster please to settle for there bills and also to transport myself back to Abidjan please do consider my plight and troubles sir.

To trak down Mr Jeffo there is no problem for that as soon as i get down to Abidjan he will be traped ok and face the penalty of what he caused us sir.

I will be waiting to hear good news from your side i am also starving here sir infact i am facing a big problems here.

Igor

I've decided to hire the very best of the best in helping me to retrieve my men from these evil marauders. When you need the best, who do you call?

Quote:

Mr. Igor,

How can they have you by the hooks when they let you out to the cafe? It sounds as if you are making your plight worse than it sounds. If they allow you out to email me, then why are you hanging around? Please provide me the number for the Hotel.

My team has still been returned and we are in Segou, Mali. We will be heading up the Niger River on horseback to negotiate the return on my staff. I have been learning to ride a horse so my balls are really sore today. We have a helicopter and two 4WD's that have been converted into armored vehicles. We're hired some merc's to give us a hand to convert these vehicles. Col. 'Hannibal' Smith, B.A. Baracus and two others are a great A-Team. They love it when a plan comes together, so hopefully we should have results in the next few days.

Mr. Jeffo should have contacted you by now and sorted this out. He is a poor excuse of a man. I really wish I could move things faster but I am emailing you from my tent and using my sat-phone and dish to email. If I lose contact you must try and call Mr. Jeffo and get his ass in gear for you. That bastard has really messed this up. My priority is the men in danger. These men are my responsibility.

If I were you, next time the Hotel people let you out to check your emails you should consider heading back to Abidjan and finding Mr. Jeffo.

Davo

Let's hope these mercenaries can help Igor out after he gets arrested.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 16 Feb 2009 Posts: 78

Nurse Nasty wrote:

Here is the latest. It's not looking good.

...snip..

We're hired some merc's to give us a hand to convert these vehicles. Col. 'Hannibal' Smith, B.A. Baracus and two others are a great A-Team. They love it when a plan comes together, so hopefully we should have results in the next few days.

...snip..

Let's hope these mercenaries can help Igor out after he gets arrested.

I think you plan suits them to a T.

Posted: Wed Jun 03, 2009 1:03 pm

I should start using "Ah pity de foo!" as a slap. Laughing

Posted: Wed Jun 03, 2009 9:17 pm

Nurse Nasty wrote:

It's not looking good.

I'll say! Roofs? You sent him to a plce with roofs? What on earth were you thinking??? Laughing

Posted: Wed Jun 03, 2009 10:48 pm

Is there an icon for mislaying a lad?

Posted: Thu Jun 04, 2009 1:05 am

Quote:

I think he wants the money in 10 x $5000 installments.

I read it that he wants 5000 x $10 instalments, which is much more secure and less likely to attract attention. Laughing

Posted: Thu Jun 04, 2009 9:22 am

He's been found. We called him at 2am his time to see if he would be able to meet the courier I sent with the $2500 in compensation. BluthBanana, who is the voice of Davo, rang to ask where he will be in 15 hours.

We'd gone to all the trouble of organising a courier, and guess what, he'd amazingly come into some money. Well he tells us that he's had to skip Odienne and head back to Abidjan on credit to someone. We cut him off mid-sentence... because. Very Happy

BluthBanana as Davo asking Igor how he's been.
* Audio is low, so turn it up.

I've requested an itemised list of his expenses so I can compensate him. Apparently he owes a lot of people quite a bit of money. Plus he's down his watch, bag and clothes. I'm hoping he had to sell his shoes as well.

Hopefully when he returns home we can get him interested in heading off for another job. After we find the mysterious heathen Mr. Jeffo.

419Eater is my life Joined: 07 Apr 2006 Posts: 441

What the Sam Frick is he on about?

Where is he at, anyway? A place called "Man"? First he says "I'm not in Man", later "I'm in Man now". I can hardly understand anything apart from that.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Thu Jun 04, 2009 10:41 am

It get's a bit worse for our hero. What about the team in Mali? I hope nothing bad happens to them, as a result of the lad, cutting and running.

I boosted up the phonecall audio for you with Audacity, NN. But who really wants to hear a lad, pissing and moaning, and telling you he is going home? Laughing

http://www.4shared.com/file/109817658/6dc36221/NNGoldLad.html

Posted: Thu Jun 04, 2009 10:59 am

Posted: Thu Jun 04, 2009 11:22 am

Ahhhhh... Thanks Slap. Link replaced.

@ Wurzgnubbel - Man is a few hundred kilometres South of Odienne. I've marked his travels on the map. Red for his initial trip and blue for the return.

Posted: Thu Jun 04, 2009 11:33 am

Say.. Isn't there an SSC in the Parc National de la Comoe? (edit: Or shouldn't there be one there?)

Posted: Thu Jun 04, 2009 1:21 pm

Fantastic safari! jump_4_joy

Posted: Tue Jun 09, 2009 11:07 am

Igor has returned. He's also caused quite a bit of trouble for himself. How much of this hogwash is true I'll never know, but it's nice to think he's given himself a new set of problems. Now I did call the hotel and asked to speak with Mr. Igor. Unfortunately he just yelled at me in French and I thanked him for his time.

Igor as himself wrote:

Dear Sir,

How are you hope ok? i am now in Abidjan as i escaped from the hotel without informing them but i have called them to let them know that as soon as you send me money that i will send them there own both the resturant man where i eat and also all the telephone calls so kindly do send me the money as i am now in Abidjan sir as you have promised i have done my best and cannot keep on waiting in the hotel because of bills i do not want to be in troubles sir.

What about Mr Johno i called his telephone yesternight and someone picks it up he said you are in Mali with mr Johno as i also inquired of you he told me that you people are there to sort out some problems sir i hope all this trouble will hold on sir and we will enter into normal deal as we have arranged before you have all my full particulars so anytime your company needs my service i will be much more available to work with you people sir there is no problems over this ok.

I really wish to work for your company but you have to shwo me that you are also honest and sincere to me by comparsating me for all my troubles and traveling expenses i have made on my own without demanding any dime from your company sir so if you do this then i will know that i am dealing with the right people and will be ready to travel any place you want me to travel to to work for HAMAS sir.
I will be waiting for your urgent call and to recieve the money trough western union money transfer services for easy and fast recieving sir.

Remain blessed with all the members of your family and have a nice dsay.
Innocent Igor.

He then sends me an email as 'Jeffo'. I love how he's still keen to work for 'HAMAS' (Not even close to the name of my company) - He misspells compensating in both emails.

Igor as Mr. Jeffo the scammer wrote:

Dear Davo,

Please i am sorry for all the troubles and problems i have caused you both please do settle Innocent Igor for his troubles he came to my house to treating my family he said that if you Davo did not settle or compasate him that he will kill me or any member of my family please do tell him to stop that and you try to help me by comparsating him i am still in the village doing funeral sir.

I will be waiting to hear from you and to cool him down for me he said he suffers a lot on Odienne please do beg him for me sir and tell him when you will settle him.

Regards.

Jeffo

I shoot an email back to both Igor and Jeffo.

NN as Davo wrote:

Hello Mr. Jeffo (or whatever your real name is)

Mr. Igor is quite rightly angry for your lies. We have confirmed them, so please do not continue to insult my intelligence. I can insult yours because I know you have very little.

I am dealing with REAL problems at the moment, and am not concerned because you lied with your scams and left your man in Odienne without the means of support.

Mr. Igor had not signed a contract with us, so we were not responsible for him. You are responsible for him. I had sent a courier all the way too Odienne with cash and he had left. I was paying out of my own pocket for your man. He has every right to be angry with you for trying to scam us all.

As Mr. Igor was your responsibility YOU will have to compensate him for all his troubles. YOU lied to us, we had some REAL issues with my staff and now YOU want me to pay this man off? You must be more foolish than I originally thought.

Once this is all sorted I have promised to find Mr. Igor a job closer to home. Something to make up for what happened. Mr. Jeffo, you should take better care of your man and find a way to make him happy.

I have sent this email to Mr. Igor as well so he knows what you have done and what is going on.

Mr. Jeffo, I assure you that Mr. Igor will not kill or hurt any members of your family. Not if he wants to work for me he won't. However if he beats you up for all the trouble you caused. Well, I have no problem with that at all.

Davo

I love it when lads play multiple characters. He's being very creative in attempting to gain some sympathy for his situation.

Igor the begging moron wrote:

Dear Sir,

How are you hope ok? sir i have recieved your meail and understood and will follow your words and instructions in other not to harm any family memeber of Jeffo or him himself but i can only beat him for he messed up with us ok.

But presently i am not feeling ok and well i know it is because of the long distance journey that i have not make for a long time you know it is not easy so it is affecting me now for real, sir i am sick and need your help please so do kindly send to me money to buy my medcines first then as soon as i get well we will still proceed to our programme ok.

N/B Sir very very important do call me as i landed in Abidjan one of my brother that ask me where did i go i told him that went to work for Gold and Diamond company at Odienne he told me that there are some people that have Diamonds for sale he is very very serious about it, so i ask him to let me know the quantity in Kilos and the type of Diamonds they have as i learnt that there are somany types of diamonds, so do call me by this evening as soon as i get home i will call and contact my brother who will give me more informations based on the Diamond so that you will send one of your team or worker to come down to Abidjan so that we will go for the diamond to purchase it ok.

I will wait to hear from you as soon as possible all the informations you need and the hotel telephone numbers in Odienne to call them because the hotel people are calling me and tratings me because of there money and how i left and snick out of the hotel without informing them it is criminal act it pains me a lot because i do not wish to do them bad or even not to pay for there hotel accomodations sir, so please do call them to calm them down and let them know when you will send the mony to them ok.

Innocent Igor.

Call me sir.

What a buffoon. I told him to head home. Instead he decided to cause himself some more grief and hang around.

Quote:

Hello.

Igor, it great to know that you're home.

You will be happy to know that Johno was released from his captors. We have flown out of Africa and are now in Italy. I am heading back to the USA in a few days. We negotiated their release for 3 million. They didn't find the diamonds. They men hid them in the fuel tank and we collected the vehicles. So it's not that much of a loss.

Johno is still very sick and injured, but he wants to thank you for your efforts, but he's been through hell and back and is really ill. We should give him a break. He has his phone, but please give him a few days to recover.

Has Mr. Jeffo compensated you yet for his lies? I'm keen to see him suffer for the trouble.

Davo

I wonder how someone punishes themselves for such treachery? Very Happy

Plus I have asked for his home address, so that if he did bail on the Hotel, I can let them know where he resides.

Posted: Tue Jun 09, 2009 11:21 am

Not quite a Newb Joined: 16 Feb 2009 Posts: 78

Newb question:

Do hotels in Africa let you stay with no form of payment assurance? Every hotel elsewhere in the world where I have stayed wanted either a credit card or cash up front before you got a key. It would seem hotels that didn't demand that would have big problems with people skipping without paying.

Of course, lads lie so the whole thing about needing cash to pay may jsut be a ploy...

Posted: Tue Jun 09, 2009 12:23 pm

That's a legitimate question. Without having stayed in this particular hotel I wouldn't know. I know you can stay and pay when you check out. This Hotel was only meant to be a meeting place, and isn't lavish by any sense of the word. It's a shit hole. He made the decision to hang around. I just assume he's lying and wants money. I have no doubt he had considerable expenses in his travels, so of course he thinks he deserves some sort of compensation.

Anyway, it's his problem. I'm merely a facilitator for this fantasy he's living. Just like a lad scamming real people, except I'm using my powers for good and not evil. I do love it when they fall for their own crap. Makes the humiliation sweeter.

I'm going to see if he's keen on heading into Nigeria for another job. Let's hope he's our kind of dope.

419Eater is my life Joined: 20 Jan 2009 Posts: 445

Nurse Nasty wrote:

I wonder how someone punishes themselves for such treachery? Very Happy

Posted: Tue Jun 09, 2009 3:06 pm

Lad back from holiday wrote:

But presently i am not feeling ok and well i know it is because of the long distance journey that i have not make for a long time you know it is not easy so it is affecting me now for real, sir i am sick and need your help please so do kindly send to me money

NN, being a nurse I'm sure you must know a doctor who could diagnose and treat his illness by teleconference or photographs? Does HAMAS have a doctor on staff?

Posted: Tue Jun 09, 2009 3:45 pm

^^^Perhaps you have some advanced imaging suites back on home turf... all he needs to do is send you images of his body... his whole body Wink

Not that... I want to see that... but it would surely be humiliating...

Master Baiter Joined: 20 Mar 2008 Posts: 107

^^ maybe he could even light some gas to prove he has no inner injuries Wink

Posted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 11:45 pm

An update. It's been several weeks since Igor had returned from his round trip to Odienne from Abidjan. Which is about 1800km, give or take... Anyway it's been a bit of a hell ride for Igor as he owes quite a few people money for all his troubles. In the last few weeks he's insisted that I compensate him for his troubles. Unfortunately I was unable to accommodate his request due to the legal issue of him not officially signed to my company, so therefore I was not responsible for his problems.

As Igor and the original Mr. Jeffo-Scammer are the same person he's obviously had a lot of trouble getting compensation from himself... if that makes sense?

So the only solution was to get Igor to sign a binding contract and complete a few basic tasks to ensure that if he ever traveled again the company would be responsible and he would be compensated for any problems that may occur. Well, and problems that will occur.

Here is the standard contract: <All images - click image to blowup>

Of course all contracts require security images. I couldn't think of anything in particular, so I went with some random words Pastor Frank had posted for a competition.

All contracts nowadays require proof of medical condition images. This ensures all staff had no prior disabilities before work commenced.

He was wearing socks, so I made him do it again. Very Happy

Well, he made me happy. So what to do now..? Oh yeah, how about another safari across the border to Ghana?

Igor the Serial Safari Lad wrote:

Dear Sir,

I have recived your message i will be waiting for Mr Johno call for how we will meet and when we will meet at the Hotel in Elubo i hope to meet him this time around because the past experiance is still hunting me till today i wish things will go well this time around for us and for good to work together aswell.

Thanks for the update stay blessed.

Igor.

The ever helpful and wonderful NN wrote:

Igor,

Rest assured all will be fine. As long as you are there on Sunday at the designated time and location it should be smooth sailing. I always have your best interests at heart. You deserve everything that comes your way.

Davo

Sunday 6pm across the border of Cote d'ivoire to Ghana. I should be delayed a few hours, so I hope he brings a blanket.

Posted: Fri Jul 17, 2009 12:03 am

Excellent, Bravo!

Quote:

the past experiance is still hunting

Posted: Fri Jul 17, 2009 1:42 am

Posted: Fri Jul 17, 2009 3:00 am

Nigeria sounds far too nice for him. Too civilised.

Send him to Chad to look for the lads who went MIA.

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