Christmas Slaps

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Posted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 3:17 pm

A bit out of date I know but I've just been looking through a few old baits as I'm getting back into the game after a little break.

I was attempting to get a couple of Xmas trophies but in the end ran out of patience and just slapped my Lad into oblivion instead Mad

I started it with an ASEM with a fake Lad reply at the bottom...

Quote:

Johnny!!

Thanks for the pictures and I'm happy you got the transfer. Remember, if you have time I've got a few more pictures I need of people in poses and will pay the same rate for them.

Dill

Johnny wrote:
>
> Hey Dill Doe
> You good to send me the dollars and I happy to get
> more pictures for U. Are a good man
>
> God Blessings to you
>
> Johnny

Lad bites...

Quote:

Hey Dill Doe,

i recieved your mail,i need more money to send you the picture,you can send the money in the name of Mr. Friday Ogbu, lagos Nigeria and send me the payment information for me to recieve the money here and i will send you more pictures. you good to send the dollars i gonna send you more pictures. are a good man you good.

I like how he picks up straight away on the are a good man stuff from my fake Lad. Shows he's paying attention.

I reply with a bit of nonsense to pad out the story and explain the ASEM.

Quote:

Hey Johnny,

Glad you got my email - had a problem with my computer and lost my addresses. I remembered yours though as you've done well for me in the past. No problems about sending payments in future to Mr Friday Ogbu. Changing the names keeps things safe.

Will let you know what I need soon.

Dill Doe

Lad asks for money now..

Quote:

When are you sending the money?is it today or tomoroowand how much are you going to send this time around? Send the money by western union money transfer and forward to me the MTCN Number to enable me recieve it. go and send the money you are a good man and i will send you the picture.,are you good man.

are a good man indeed. He seems ignorant of my usual business protocols though so I put him straight and try and give the impression of alarm bells ringing to try and get him acting a little more deferential.

Quote:

Jonny,

I sent the money after I got the picture - you emailed me to say you had got the money two days ago. I've not even asked for the new pictures yet - you don't know what pictures I want yet so how can you send them.

Why are you now asking for money before I get pictures? For the last 4 months I have been asking you to get pictures for me, you send them and then I send the money. This has worked well for us both and at $250 a picture you have made a lot of money from me.

You are acting very strangely and not at all like you normally do. This is Jonny I'm speaking to isn't it?

Dill Doe

And in time honoured fashion he reels out the old Lad Bull....

Quote:

well,it is me Jonny, your friend Dill,it is not someone else, its is because i have some personal problems here that i am passing through that is why i am sounding this way in my mail to you. Do you know that, the two hundred and fifthy dollars you send to me was intercepted by hackers, so the money never got to me and i just recvieved a news from the village that my grand mother just pass away.I don't know how to tell you because you are a good man. every disaapointment is a blessing for every child of God who believe in christ JESUS. i want to know the picture you want and i also want you to assist me my good friend, you know you are a good man, my grand mother just pass away and i want to go for her burial so i need about $600 to go for the burial; because i am the first son and the bread winner of the family. you a good man have to help jonney your friend. send the money through western union in the name of Mr. Friday Ogbu, Lagos Nigeria and as soon as I come back i will forward you the new pictures as you need. I am waiting for your good response and a favoruable reply from you my good friend,

warm regards,

from your friend, Jonny,

Time for a little slap and the start of my failed Xmas trophy attempt...

Quote:

Jonny,

Sorry your money got intercepted but that is your problem - this is a business transaction and poor security at your end is not my fault. I'm not sending the money twice.

I am sorry to hear of your Grandma's death. I've already sent you a lot of money for pictures in the last 8 months though so I can't understand why you cannot pay for the burial? I've sent a lot more than $600 that's for sure! It's probably closer to $16000!
However, as a sign of respect for your dead Gran I'm willing to throw in an extra $250 bonus for the next set of pictures. Here's what I need.

It will soon be Christmas and I need two pictures for my Eaters Restaraunt wall. I want them to be of you, or a friend, dressed as Father Christmas. Father Christmas must be wearing a red robe and have a big white beard.

The first picture must be a happy and kind looking Father Christmas smiling and holding a sign saying "HAPPY CHRISTMAS EATERS!"

The second picture must be of the same Father Christmas looking drunk and angry, waving a knife or stick and holding a sign saying "TIME TO PAY $$$ EATERS"

I will pay $250 for each picture and the $250 bonus. This will total $750.

Hope this is not a problem,

Dill

Worth a try I thought. Lad reply...

Quote:

Dear Dill,

My good man friend, yes i recieved your but i have problem with my computer yesterday that is why i could not get back to you. i aggree with you to send the all the pictures as you need, but you have to send me the money first. there is no problem for the burial , I beleiev God will help me out for that one. you just go ahead and send the $750 to enable me arrange and send you the pictures immediately i recieve it here. Thank you for the bonus of $250 you offerred to give to me, you are a good man and I appreciate your help in this time of my need.

Here is the name to send the money

Reciever name: MR FRIDAY OGBU

Address: LAGOS NIGERIA

Text Question: Who

Answer: friday.

As soon as i recieve the money you will recieve the picture with two days.
Thank you, you are a good man.

Jonny,

I was getting bored with him as I already had a coupe more baits on the go so I slap again...

Quote:

Jonny,

Let me make this quite clear to you. I will NOT be sending the money without receiving my pictures FIRST. Why you are suddenly insisting on this is beyond reason. We have made many deals in the past and now you are making demands of me.

What is your reason? If you no longer wish to do this work for me then just tell me straight and I will seek someone else's help.

Dill Doe

Lad reminds me that I'm a good man (again) but doesn't seem to understand....

Quote:

Dear Dill Doe,

I got your mail and You are a good man but you failed to do what i asked you to do. any way, there is nothing i can do. because organise it needs money to put things in other before the pictures can be ready to forward to you. send the fee today and i will send the picture now to you immedaitely as you need, are a good man you know, and the information to send the money is with you already. send the money now, do not delay.

Jonny,

Another slap - bit more robust this one though....

Quote:

Johnny,

Do you think I'm a charity? I'm a business man, I thought we were doing business.

I have sent nearly $16000 to you over the last few months. Don't give me this bullshit about needing the money first. Just so we are clear on the matter - I will not pay you without getting my photos first. This has been the way we have worked and I refuse to change.

If you have better ways to make money then go ahead, if not, then get back to me and we'll continue. I couldn't give two fucks either way.

Dill Doe

Lad still seems to think that he can butter me up....

Quote:

Dear Dill Doe,

I recieved your mail good man. We have been a good friend for long and by now we supposed to understand each other. Try to understand me and trust me always. as soon as i recieve it, you will see the picture my good friend or you can send the picture money and after you send the bonus offer. to enable things work out fine.all this money you have been sending to me, that is how problem of house and family has been taking it. as you know that i have been doing so, do not blame me now, all i need is just for you to understand me my good man. have a wonderful week ahead with your family.

Johnny,

Yawn. By now I pretty much knew I wasn't gonna get the trophies so I just decided to constantly slap him and see how long he came back for more... Laughing

Quote:

Listen Jonny

Either send me the pictures or don't. I am not willing to pay before I receive the goods. This is not the way I work in any part of my life.

I run a restaurant Jonny - My customers pay AFTER they have eaten, I pay AFTER my ingredients have been delivered. When I have building work done I pay AFTER the work is done. And when I ask for pictures for my restaurant wall I pay AFTER I pissing well get them.

Do you see a pattern there Jonny? Now are you going to get me my photos and carry on with this work?

Dill Doe

Lad still tries....some nice lines from him though

Quote:

Dear Mr, Good man, I know that you are a good man and you will never fail me when i need your help. send the money for the picture, as soon as i recieve it i will send you the picture as promised. you know we have been doing business in the past and i have never failed you ones, so why cant you understand and send this money. Should I tell you what, send the money now and i will let you see the picture for your resturant. I will make sure that the father christmans you asked for will be with humour and adventure. send the money and do not complain because there is no time to waste, i want to go for my grand mothers burial by friday , act fast now.You are once again, failing to do this , i will no that you are no longer serious to work with me as you are good man. and i will stop replying your mail.i am a matured man and not a child.and i do have the fear of God, i try not to hurt the poeple i love.

thanks

Jonny.

Slap!

Quote:

Johnny

You say you will make sure that Father Christmas will be with humour and adventure? It sounds like you have not even took the picture yet. And do NOT call me a time waster! If you had stuck to our original plan and just took and sent the photos you would have had the money by now. I am running out of patience, either take and send the photos or tell me you no longer wish to continue our business - NO MORE EXCUSES OR NEGOTIATIONS.

Have you even arranged for someone to pose for the pictures yet?

Dill Doe

Has he mentioned God yet?

Quote:

im not making excuses my good friend, if you know you want the deal to continue you have to send this $750 to enable me get things in other and arrange for the father christmas. This is little money for you, i don't know why are you being reluntant to pay it or do you not trist me again as your bsuiness partner and your good friend? Go ahead and do what i asked you to doand you will see everything work out. i am a child of God, i don't decieve people. are a good man.

Johnny

I go for an epic slap now. This lad puts no effort in and just goes on about God all the time...

Quote:

Johnny,

Picture first, money second. I really cannot be any clearer than that. I do not care if you are a child of God, Allah, Buddha, Confucius, Mohammed, Lao Tsu or Donny frigging Osmond. It has nothing to do with trust and everything to do with you suddenly deciding that you wish to do things differently.

I have in the past asked for pictures far more difficult than Father Christmas. Remember the one with the goats dressed as the cast of Married With Children? You didn't need money up front for that yet it was much more complicated.

Are you going to send the picture? Yes or No? If Yes, fantastic and you'll get the money soon as I get the picture. If No then just say so and I'll find someone else.

Dill Doe

I'm not too sure but does this look like the Lad having a go at slapping me back?

Quote:

I AM GOING TO SEND THE PICTURE TO YOU WHEN I HAVE MONEY TO ARRANGE IT.AS YOU DONT WANT TO UNDERSTAND WHAT I AM SAYING TO YOU.

A little reminder of how much money Dill Doe has been sending out to try and rescue the doomed trophy attempt..

Quote:

Jonny

You must have the money to make the picture - I have sent you thousands over the last few months. What the hell have you spent it on??? Have you wasted it on cars, shoes, rentboys and drugs or something??

I am staggered that you continue to ask for payment up front!

Dill Doe

And that was the end of it. Lad never replied but ho-hum.....

Posted: Sun Jun 07, 2009 4:43 am

That was a nice modality. Too bad the lad was so lazy, you did what you could with that loser. Thanks for sharing, I may try some similar ASEM...

Master Baiter Joined: 28 Jan 2009 Posts: 124

Ha ha

Posted: Tue Jun 09, 2009 11:08 pm

Indeed they sometimes don't grasp that payment is done AFTER the delivery of the goods. I've been dropped that very same way a couple of times. Let's state that they're ULTRA lazy lads or STRAIGHT lads. Confused