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 This is Telstra, how are we helping you.

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Elite Baiter

Joined: 07 Sep 2008
Posts: 1112
Location: out there in the wide blue yonder

PostPosted: Thu May 07, 2009 5:08 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Well I've just spend half the bloody day trying to get some sense out of Telstra, I think I've phone baited half the Mumbai population
I've paid my phone account using "BillPay" just the same as a lot of other people. Trouble was today the bloody form would not except
my details.
First line of the bill pay form, asks for your Biller Cody, Easy bung in the 5 digit code and move on. WRONG, now the thing will only except a 4 digit code.., So we ring Telstra. Telstra calling , how are we helping you. This is not good, explain everything give my personal details names, address, date of birth, the date of my last root, plus my shoe size, and all and any numbers I could find. To be told, "Yes it is you, how may we be helping you.
Explain about 4 digits, 5 digits, why it won't work, Give a detailed description of why 5 won't fit in where 4 goes. even quote the "help page", about 4 digits. Please to hold the line,,, 10 minutes go by, get someone else. Telstra calling, how are we helping you. start again. this happened five times. By now the air is bluer then the language. Then some bright shella asks if I want to pay the account over the Phone.. Nope I want to pay using Bill Pay..
Then I pull the master stroke. "Are you aware that this call is being monitored by a talk back radio station, and 50.000 people are waiting to hear that Telstra can't help me.
Mean while I'm poking round the Billpay site, hoping there's something I should have clicked on and didn't . Then I find a Technical help tab,
Shit I'm in. Wrong, They want, you got it , all my personal details, plus my internet program type, and a lot of stuff I haven't got a clue about, and did I want to talk on the phone or use e-mail. click on phone, well the days gone so what the hell.
One section had me stumped for a while "Time of Problem" so I bung in the time, wrong, So I bung in the time using a 24 hour clock, wrong again
It turns out you have to use a double dot : between the hour and the minute. Shit I'm in
Then I get a box, Nature of Problem, Explain about Biller codes only excepting a 4 digit code, when I have a 5 digit code, Blah, blah. then I do a cut
& paste of help section explaining about 4 digit codes.
Click send, and of it goes to who knows where. Then I get a little notice telling me they will phone me. But not when.. There's also no where to post my phone number, Still why worry about details, I'm in the phone book. until it's canceled because I haven't paid the account.

I mean, I'm not a bad person, just a bit evil at times, Why me, What have I done to deserve this sort of treatment. I might ring Telstra accounts department and tell them about there missing digit. This could go on for weeks.

So if anyone else reads this and uses BillPay, Good bloody luck.

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Elite Baiter

Joined: 25 May 2007
Posts: 1761
Location: 'Straya

PostPosted: Thu May 07, 2009 5:32 am Reply with quoteBack to top

good lord I hear you borg. I had huge arguments with Telstra the last three months as the payments which came out of my account (using BPay!) apparently disappeared. I had receipt numbers and the lot, but all to no avail. I'm waiting to see if this months bill is still telling me all the rest are overdue, and then will make my monthly call to Mumbai. *sigh*

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Baiting Guru

Joined: 14 Nov 2005
Posts: 7992
Location: Luxury Coffin

PostPosted: Thu May 07, 2009 9:03 am Reply with quoteBack to top

User unfriendly systems drive me nuts, so you have my sympathy. Last night I watched the Champions League semi final on my laptop - I watch the United games in the pub, but decided for this one to stay home and pay £5 to Sky for their streaming service.

I registered in the afternoon and bought a 'ticket' to watch the live streaming.

Come the evening, my user name wasn't recognized - I typed it in lower case, but it turns out the system changed it to upper, then my password was invalid because it had no numbers in it, despite being accepted when I registered - so I had to change it, and use a link from an email.

Of course by the time I got in, the match is 10 minutes old, and Chelsea had just scored their only goal. banghead

ETA: Was your call to Mumbai free? Last year I spent an hour being dicked about by my former ISP, if I'd known it was at vast expense to myself I'd have been apoplectic! As it was the lady disappeared now and again for 5 or 10 minutes, then came back and thanked me for being patient, which I cleary wasn't.

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Baiting Guru

Joined: 29 Mar 2007
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PostPosted: Thu May 07, 2009 9:53 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I write a syndicated tech column and mentioned this once when being given the usual crap service - worked wonders. I can thoroughly recommend it.

Live on a radio station should work too!

Don't forget to ask for their names, and sound like you are writin them down - and say you will be sending a copy of the finished article to the CEO
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Hell on wheels

Joined: 06 Jun 2008
Posts: 2442
Location: Rollin' rollin' rollin'

PostPosted: Thu May 07, 2009 2:27 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

At least you were talking to a PERSON. I spent hours on the line with an automated attendant and on hold with my phone service provider one day. Thank goodness I have a headset.

I had ordered their internet service, and when I ordered it I said I would need assistance in installing the modem as I am physically handicapped. No problem. Modem arrives, and no indication that anyone is coming out. I call. First there is no menu option for "When are you coming out to help me install the modem?" Pressing "0" didn't work (sometimes that connects you to a live person, but companies are disabling that nowadays.) I finally shouted, "I want to speak to a person." Lo and behold I got a person.

They put me on hold. Came back and said, "You want this department," put me on hold again while they transferred me to -- yep, another automated attendant. After a fruitless fround of pressing digits, I shouted "I want to talk to a person." Magically a person answered.

I finally got an appointment for a tech to come out. Of course, it was "between 8:00 a.m. and noon," but that was fine with me. Problem - by 2:00 p.m. there was still no tech. I called again - same runaround. This time, when 6:00 hit (yes, I was on the line that long, and the tech still had not arrived), I remained on hold, but they went home. I found this out when I hung up and redialled.

When I called the next day and finally got someone who cared, they said the tech would be out that day, and I said, "Forget it. I'll send the modem back and get some other service." They couldn't understand why I was upset.

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419Eater is my life

Joined: 20 Jun 2005
Posts: 384
Location: North of the Border

PostPosted: Thu May 07, 2009 7:18 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Of course by the time I got in, the match is 10 minutes old, and Chelsea had just scored their only goal.

Who cares about their goal Roy, it was the second goal that was the sweetest.

Fail To Plan, Plan To Fail.
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