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 one-day insult bait-a-thon; enraged lad, strong language

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Nailgunner
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 26, 2009 5:25 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

last night's insult bait went surprisingly well, I've been corresponding with a lad all day now between odd jobs.

If you want to play with him, his email is [email protected] with every X removed.

Mi format, na broadcast wide ooooo -
Quote:
U GO MEK I MAD

U GO WRITE TO PAY MASTA USMAN BELLO OR WHO EVA HE BE, MEK I STARVE, U GO CHOP MAGA. DIS NOT HOW WE DO TING HERE OK. WHY U POUR SAND FOR MI GARRI? I GO CAUSE U, CAUSE ALL U GENERATION. U NO BETTA THAN THIEF. AYELALAH GO KILL U, TRAITER

Him -
Quote:
E NO GO BETA 4 UR PAPA AND ALL YOUR GENERATION. STAMP YOU ARE CAUSE AS FROM TODAY BASTARD KO NO DA FUN I DI LE RE

Me -
Quote:
WOTHLESS BEGGA MAN

U PAPA GO FALL FROM PALM TREE, U MAMA GO BURST AM TOTO FROM FUCK HIV MAD MAN. ALL DIS IS UR FAULT N I CUASE U FOREVA. MY CAUSE IS GREATER THN UR CAUSE SO BACK TO SENDER WITH IT, U HAVE NO LEVEL, OSU, OUTCAST

DEVIL GO BEND UR NECK

Him - no idea what he's on about -
Quote:
I NO BLAME U NA COMPUTER MAKE U SABI GEEU BASTARD.

Me -
Quote:
HOW DARE U, UR IMPUDENSE IS GRETER THAN UR STUPIDITIE FOR U ARE A RIDICULUS YORUBA OSU

I GO TAKE UR NAME TO OGWUGWU SHRINE 4 MEK U DIE IN 30 DAYS

U SHALL HAVE NO GRAVE

RAT FOOD, I HAIL OOOOOOOOO

Him -
Quote:
HAHAHAHAHA, U FUCKING ILLETERATE BASTARD I CAUSE YOU, U WILL ROT IN HELL FUCKING SMALL BOY WE NEVER SAY MONI BEFORE.

Me -
Quote:
DO U MAMA TOTO STILL STINK PASS ROTIN PIG? MUS BE REASON U STINK SO BAD, CAFE TROW U OUT, WOMAN NEVA GO TO YOU. UR FAT MAD HIV MAMA ONLY PUSSY U EVA GET.

GO TO U MAMA WEY FUCK DUMPSTAR PUSSY, MAY FLIES EAT U UP OOOOO

Him, and his first hint of a threat. Progress! -
Quote:
SMALL BOY FORGET ABOUT MAMA I WONDER HOW UR GIRL FRIEND WILL COP WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE SENSE OF HUMOR U ARE AN ILLITERATE TALK ABOUT ANOTHER THING FORGET MAMA TALK BELIEVE I CAN TRACK YOU DOWN U FOOL.

Me -
Quote:
U NO NEED TRACK ME DOWN. I COM TO U, BRING JUJU FOR UR HEAD. WE ARE PEOPLES OF THE SEA AND ALL POWERFUL IN SPIRIT MAGIC, U SHALL TASTE MY POWER SOON SOON. SHOW U SELF, WEAK MAN, SMALL BOI LIKE U.

Him -
Quote:
BIG FOOL NA JUJU U DEY USE COLLECT MONI FROM MAGA OTU WEY NO SABI JOB MUGU LIKE U GO DIE JARE, LOSE , FREE ME NOW NA ME BI TERRY G.

Me -
Quote:
NEVA U BE FREE, JUJU SHALL FIND U OOOO SEEK U DOWN DIS NIGHT

YOU WAN 2 LIVE, U GO PRAY 2 JESUS FOR UR LIFE N SAY TO ME U BEG FORGIVENNESS FOR UR DORTI RUDE WORDS 2 ME. UR RUDENESS DON PASS EVER THING I EVA SEE BEFORE. FOR DIS U MUS BE PURNISH OR APORLOGIZE N BEG FOR ME.

Him, clearly very cross -
Quote:
THUNDER GO FIRE UR GENETIC

Him, still angry and making less sense than before -
Quote:
FOOL WRITE NA THUNDER GO STRIKE THAT UR MAMA WEY BORN BASTARD LIKE U


Sadly, he's gone for a lie down. It's been fun, Benjamin old chap. Same time tomorrow?

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smartbomb
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 26, 2009 6:43 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

What a delightful and well mannered young chap. I may have to put him down as a character reference for any future potential employment.

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manbiteslion
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 26, 2009 9:57 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Have you ever considered offering your diplomatic services to your country?

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Nailgunner
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 26, 2009 11:54 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I did write a paper on foreign relations, but nearly every head of state in the G20 signed a petition that it should be deleted forever from the public record and the author imprisoned. Meh.

Do add to this thread if anyone else has a fun and happy conversation with this loquacious lad. Maybe it is time to play the old "pile on ginger" modality and bait him from earhole to arsehole for a week or so. Or resurrect the terrible ghost of the Gomer Boyz? Think of the potential for tattoos and curses, sorry, causes. Play nicely!*


*by nicely, well, you know what I mean

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ScammedOut
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 27, 2009 12:09 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
THUNDER GO FIRE UR GENETIC


Now that really hurts!
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bruckner
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 27, 2009 2:35 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Hmm, he's just full of sunshine, isn't he?

Quote:
U BI FOOL U NO GET WORD TO TALK, WHAT AS MAMA TOOT AS TO DO WITH GEE U ARE NOT ASHAME OF YOURSELF YOU CAN EVAN SPEAK GOOD ENGLISH I WONDER THE KIND OF GIRLS THAT GOES OUT WITH YOU BIRDS OF THE SAME FEATHERS UGLY SHIT GO ROT IN HELL NO TOOLS FOR U TO WORK AM HERE WORKING STEADY 24HOURS MAKING MY KALA MY OWO TOO MUCH MONEY n-word I AM HERE I MEAN IT MONEY IS TOO MUCH CHECK ME AT LEKKI AM BIG FOR FOR LIFE LET ME SHOW U THE WAY.

THUNDER STRIKE UR PAPA AND UR GENETIC.

BASTARD SMALL BOY U NO SABI GEE I NO DEY DO YAHOO YAHOO NA CONFIRM GEE MAN I BI I NO BI BOY LIKE U.


Edit: Whoops. I didn't catch the bad word. Glad the forum software did!

_________________
you be fool too so you dey play with me now lake of comfirmation dey hurry you or you nor get sense? tell me - Dennis Ali
THUNDER STRIKE UR PAPA AND UR GENETIC. - Benjamin the Insult Boi

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Star A Star
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 27, 2009 2:01 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

bruckner wrote:
Hmm, he's just full of sunshine, isn't he?

Quote:
I AM HERE I MEAN IT MONEY IS TOO MUCH CHECK ME AT LEKKI AM BIG FOR FOR LIFE LET ME SHOW U THE WAY.

THUNDER STRIKE UR PAPA AND UR GENETIC.



Edit: Whoops. I didn't catch the bad word. Glad the forum software did!

can you ask him if he'll pay my gas as well as my lekki bill

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pony
i am tired and i am waisting my morning
i am tired of all these rusbish, i am waisiting my time andf mone
Ok i will try and take the form to my staff members, once i get the form filled, i am not ready to fill another form, make sure that this is all the forms, i am going to fill them and once i get them done, i will not fill another form
If you see how i was insulted in the western union office, you will pitty me - nope you're wrong there pal
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bruckner
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 27, 2009 2:03 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:

can you ask him if he'll pay my gas as well as my lekki bill


Sure, he's already done it, but replies that he's overpaid. Please can you send the refund amount to...

_________________
you be fool too so you dey play with me now lake of comfirmation dey hurry you or you nor get sense? tell me - Dennis Ali
THUNDER STRIKE UR PAPA AND UR GENETIC. - Benjamin the Insult Boi

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Dramaqueen
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 27, 2009 2:21 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

That's so fun, I love seeing insults. Laughing

This lad is too funny!

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bohigal
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 27, 2009 2:52 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Feh this is all I've got from him so far:

[email protected] J0hnson wrote:
BASTARDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD


Then again I'm not writing in pidgin, but in 50-cent words. He probably has no idea what I'm calling him. Twisted Evil

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bruckner
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 27, 2009 3:22 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

bohigal wrote:

Then again I'm not writing in pidgin, but in 50-cent words.


Ooh, shiny. I'll send him some from my German and Italian characters later, too!

_________________
you be fool too so you dey play with me now lake of comfirmation dey hurry you or you nor get sense? tell me - Dennis Ali
THUNDER STRIKE UR PAPA AND UR GENETIC. - Benjamin the Insult Boi

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Nailgunner
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 27, 2009 3:24 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

He's full of joy, this lad! I'm so happy I found him. I'll try to extract a little more of his good cheer this evening.

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GomerPyle
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 27, 2009 3:30 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Try this on him

Quote:
AI SEE UHE NI GUALOR EWINWAN


I've been throwing some proverbs from Edo state at Lads and, if nothing else, it confuses the hell out of them. Laughing

The English translations are hilarious.

Quote:
English interpretation: You do not get to the lower end of an elephant still searching for the bug. In other words; you do not wash your face with spittle when you live by the river-bank.


I get the idea, but why it goes through elephants bums and spit I can't imagine, but the Lad's bound to take it as an insult and he'll believe you're another Lad for certain.

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jlc419
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 27, 2009 7:32 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Vacation responders - automate replies to Lads with the curses of your choice; provided you only use that address for curse baiting. Of course, it would spice up other baits as well...

I sometimes use the responder to reply "Mail Undeliverable" and a note to use Hotmail. Some Lads will respond three or four times to the email and switch to Hotmail.

A current LAD insists he can only use GMAIL as the address is the official business address.
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 27, 2009 7:43 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

i HAVE SENT HIM - sorry, just got off the email to a lad. I have sent him three emails. One from a "lad" telling him to stop writing abusive emails; one from a "gomer" telling Benji off for stealing his format and offering to spare him a hiding if he pays over $5k and joins gomerboyz gang, and one from my [email protected] 83ll0 account observing politely that Benji is in deep sh*t, but it's really none of his business and certainly not his problem. Ho hum !

I haven't got a clue where I'm going with this but hopefully it'll confuse him enough to keep his head nicely boiled.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 27, 2009 9:12 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

If you want a crack at him he's online now Very Happy

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jlc419
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 27, 2009 10:25 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

He just responded to my insult - wonder what he thought of my autoresponder?
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 28, 2009 8:29 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Some more reponses from my favourite ever insult lad. *huggles!!* one of my other accounts asked why he kept writing so rudely to him.

Quote:
THUNDER FIRE YOUR MAMA AND YOUR PAPA GOD PUNISH ALL YOUR GENE


When my Gomer-a-like accused him of pinching his format and offered him the chance to buy his way out of a beating:
Quote:
WETIN U DEY TALK I NO UNDERSTAND U??//
after clarifying the gravity of it;
Quote:
thunder fire your papa and your mama go give the money to your parent you poor thing.
and finally after a threat to take his name to some shrine or other
Quote:
go die guy
He clearly has no patience, and now i hear his resolve staring to squeak a bit.

From other lads: this one is really filthy but his address has been splatted. *cries*
Quote:
BIG FOOL FOR LIFE, NO USE UR TIM DO BETER THING. UR FATHER WEY NO DEY CLEAN EM, YARNCH WHEN HIM DON SHITE FINISH, IDIOT GOAT, RAM,COW,MUGU OF THE HIGHEST ODER, UR MAMA TOTO,
Quote:
U GO MEK I MAD MAD ALREADY
and the classic
Quote:
Fuck you
and best of all from tonight's winner, [email protected] (remove X s)! I HAIL OOOO!
Quote:
BIG FOOL!!!!!!! U (Philip Abbas)
SENIOR THOSE WEY DEY PAY? MONKEY, CHECK UR MAMA ROOM WHETHER SHE DEY, ASK HER WHERE SHE GO YESTERDAY AFTERNOON (SHE DEY MY HOUSE DEY FUCK) ASK HER WHO IS UR REAL FATHER, SHE GO TELL U SAY NA UNA GATEMAN OR NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOUR.

WRETCHED FOOL, POOR THING, U WEY WE CATCH DEY FUCK UR SISTER, UR PAPA DEY UNDER BRIDGE DEY RAPE DOG, FOWL AND DEY MASTURBATE DEY GO FOR ROAD. NA SUFFER GO KILL U.

AS U DEY READ THIS MESSAGE U JUST DEY ACTIVATE THE CURSE FOR YOUR LIFE, IF U REPLY ME, U DON ACTIVATE THE CURSE TO UR FAMILY AND DAT UR GIRLFRIEND WEY HER TOTO NA MORTUARY. IDIOT, STINKY JEW, CIVILLIAN, LUBBER, RAT.

JOBLESS FRUSTRATED FOOL. I'LL ADVISE YOU NOT TO REPLY ME, SO THAT U ALONE WOULD SUFFER THIS SPELL, BUT IF U INSIST, UR FAMILY WILL BE ADDED TO THE TRAIN OF LOW LIFE AS FOOLISHNESS ALREADY RUNS IN UR FAMILY GENE.

LOOSER!!!!!!!! LAFF OUT LOUD


there was a really dirty one but I can't find it. I'll add it later Very Happy

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dr stephen williams
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 29, 2009 3:06 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I love your lad. Nice work!

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