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 I'm thinking of becoming a scammer.

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drbo
Master Baiter


Joined: 23 Feb 2009
Posts: 127
Location: Canuckville


PostPosted: Thu Apr 16, 2009 5:02 am Reply with quoteBack to top

How does this sound for a modality?

Dear Sir:

This letter may come to you as a surprise, due to the fact that we
have not ever met before, eh, not even once. This message may sound
strange, but it's real. All I ask is that you read this letter, out
loud if you want, or by moving your lips, silently mouthing the words
the way that some people do--which is funny.

I am Jean-Louis St. Martin, son of rebel Quebecois president
Pierre-Jacques St. Martin of Canada, who was killed on the 22nd of
September, 2008 in a Montreal uprising. We're really pissed about
that. I found you name on the internet, and we are hoping that you
can help us out, eh.

Presently there is over $500 (CDN$) in beer empties stashed away in a
secret location known only to me and one other member of my family.
Oh, and this one neighbourhood kid, who's always hanging around. I
think his parents like to nap in the afternoon.

My late father was raising money for his political campaign and he
acquired these great quantities of beer bottles through several
illicit transactions with Canadian breweries and bottle depots, a
couple of decent-sized parties, and that one night where he drank
himself silly after the Canadiens lost in the playoffs.

The untimely death of my father has caused great upheaval in Quebec,
and I fear that my family and I are in great danger. We're basically
screwed. So I am soliciting your help to help us recover this
inestimable wealth.

I am willing to share the money we get from cashing in the bottles,
say 30/70. After all, they're still our bottles, eh? what we need
from you is your car, so we can get the empties to the bottle depot.

Before you can access this fortune in recyclable materials, I have to
give you the necessary documents, which include the directions to the
location of the bottles, a Canadian passport or reasonable facsimile,
and a PASS card which will help you avoid the frickin' long border
line-ups. I'll also provide you with suitable clothing, capable of
withstanding the harsh Canadian climate.

I am requesting that you travel to the Canadian city of Ottawa (Oh-
tah-wah) with a car that has a sizable trunk-maybe even a minivan,
or a pick-up with a canopy. Nothing too obvious, but something that
gets good mileage--I'm not paying for all the gas! When you get to
Ottawa, I will give you instructions on how to access the amassed
stock of empty Molson's and Labatt's bottles, and you can slowly
exchange the empties for Canadian "money," which you may be
able to transfer into your own bank account through an ATM;
there are at least seven of them in Canada. I am asking foryour
favour to do this, as the Canadian government will not be able to
trace these bottles to an international traveler such as
yourself.

Time is of the essence; already, my father's enemies are searching
for the secret location of the empties. Hockey season is upon us, so
you may be able to use that as a distraction.

My reason for asking your assistance is an unselfish one.The
political climate in Canada is sensitive and unstable. My father
devoted his life to his country, and he would wish
that his family were able to live safe and comfortable. The money from
these bottles would would see his wish fulfilled.

Please, I ask that you treat this matter with the highest confidentiality-
-so don't go blabbing it to your girlfriend or putting it on your
website, okay?

Yours sincerely,

Jean-Louis St. Martin

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WhamBam
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 22 Feb 2009
Posts: 62


PostPosted: Thu Apr 16, 2009 6:07 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Hahaha gold. If you hadn't posted that on this site, and it landed in my inbox one day, I would have probably gone along with it, you dirty scammer!

Well done.

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mr.scissorkick
Elite Baiter


Joined: 03 Feb 2009
Posts: 1973
Location: 50.299209,-3.650293


PostPosted: Thu Apr 16, 2009 6:08 am Reply with quoteBack to top

It's not quite believable though.
If I got a letter from the prince of Canada, I would expect him to mention Flannel at least once.
Not to mention the NHL playoffs.

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Star A Star
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 03 Jul 2008
Posts: 821
Location: Chad Central


PostPosted: Thu Apr 16, 2009 8:15 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I am interested tell me more

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pony
i am tired and i am waisting my morning
i am tired of all these rusbish, i am waisiting my time andf mone
Ok i will try and take the form to my staff members, once i get the form filled, i am not ready to fill another form, make sure that this is all the forms, i am going to fill them and once i get them done, i will not fill another form
If you see how i was insulted in the western union office, you will pitty me - nope you're wrong there pal
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the vampire
Baiting Guru


Joined: 27 Jul 2008
Posts: 3601
Location: playmobil land


PostPosted: Thu Apr 16, 2009 6:27 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Can i pay for the documents with some of my own empty bottles?

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ParaNoid
** REMEMBERED **


Joined: 12 Sep 2006
Posts: 5123
Location: Looking for Steward.


PostPosted: Thu Apr 16, 2009 7:15 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Ummm, honestly, I don't see where it would be used...

If you send it to a lad, they will not read it because it does not say that you will send money to them with minimal effort on their part.

If you are hoping to get lads to use this as their new script... good luck. Confused


I want the lost five minutes of my life back, eh.


What you wrote is to a select audience (people who have a limited understanding of Canadian culture or linguistic style). I could be really really wrong, but I have NEVER gotten an email from a citizen of Canada why enters "eh" into written communications (unless they are quoting or teasing as in your case). Rolling Eyes

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Craig007
Baiting Guru


Joined: 19 Apr 2007
Posts: 3124


PostPosted: Thu Apr 16, 2009 7:19 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

That's it Para - tell it like it is! Wink

Join Sleepless's Oga modality, over in Hints & Tips, and try it out on a lad Very Happy

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Badgerbait
Baiting Guru


Joined: 07 Jan 2009
Posts: 4502
Location: Alas, summer is slow in responding.


PostPosted: Thu Apr 16, 2009 8:22 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

The lad types ",eh"!!! Now that is classic. I think you should find a translator that gives evry thing a French accent. What a hosehead, eh! Gimme two cases of Toubor and crank the Rush! No offense to real Canadians....

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I have arrived in Moscow. Has gone to bank and to me have told that there is no such transfer for me!!!!
What does it mean? You played with me? If it so that you very much the cruel man and I am assured of that that the god will see your cruelty.
Explain to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Alena Byk0va
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Cachuma
Baiting Guru


Joined: 04 May 2007
Posts: 2284
Location: Blowing bubbles at 130 fsw


PostPosted: Thu Apr 16, 2009 8:35 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Well *I* liked it! Razz

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TheLovelyJill
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 18 Jan 2009
Posts: 943
Location: Viewing astroturf at a cracking owl sanctuary


PostPosted: Thu Apr 16, 2009 10:31 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I'm not sure why a lad would respond to something so like a script he might have written himself...

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drbo
Master Baiter


Joined: 23 Feb 2009
Posts: 127
Location: Canuckville


PostPosted: Thu Apr 16, 2009 10:43 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I think the majority of you have missed the point of this. It is a joke. Perhaps not being from Canada plays a part in that.
A parody...

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I have taken $297,636.58 worth of useless checks off the streets.
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ParaNoid
** REMEMBERED **


Joined: 12 Sep 2006
Posts: 5123
Location: Looking for Steward.


PostPosted: Thu Apr 16, 2009 10:54 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

drbo wrote:
I think the majority of you have missed the point of this. It is a joke. Perhaps not being from Canada plays a part in that.
A parody...
That is why I asked to get my time back... 'eh Rolling Eyes

Might I suggest that this would have been better placed in the Jokes thread, or funny stuff you wrote thread... 'eh

http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=5413


[/back seat mod mode]


ETA a couple of 'ehs

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Cachuma
Baiting Guru


Joined: 04 May 2007
Posts: 2284
Location: Blowing bubbles at 130 fsw


PostPosted: Thu Apr 16, 2009 11:56 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I'm not from Canada and I still liked it. Cool

(It probably should have gone in the General Chat forum, tho...)

_________________
Alex Mandl4: The past week has been the worst in my entire life, I have lost weight, I don't sleep at night, I left my job abruptly, and do you think it has been easy for?
Master Nicholas [email protected]: I must confess that i am higly obliged to be a cretin, it is a rare privilegde.
pony pony Safari = Mr. Mandl4 & Mr. Brown, 1480 total miles: Johannesburg to Gaborone; Gaborone to Maun; Back to Gaborone; back to Johannesburg.
Closed lad accounts x15 Malaysia X1 United Kingdom X1

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drbo
Master Baiter


Joined: 23 Feb 2009
Posts: 127
Location: Canuckville


PostPosted: Fri Apr 17, 2009 12:39 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Indeed I should have posted it in a more appropriate thread.
Please accept my apologies.

(if a mod could, please move this)

And ParaNoid... I owe you for five minutes... I will send it to you via MG Rolling Eyes

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Killing mugu's time and cash is what I do...
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I have taken $297,636.58 worth of useless checks off the streets.
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ParaNoid
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Joined: 12 Sep 2006
Posts: 5123
Location: Looking for Steward.


PostPosted: Fri Apr 17, 2009 12:43 am Reply with quoteBack to top

LOL_sign

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marks2405
Hello I'm New here!


Joined: 29 Aug 2005
Posts: 3
Location: 2 miles from the pub


PostPosted: Fri Apr 17, 2009 1:39 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

this should be a competition. The funniest scam letter mock up

_________________
Fuckuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
who do u think u are dealing wit?
go to hellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
and never come back
Foolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
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the vampire
Baiting Guru


Joined: 27 Jul 2008
Posts: 3601
Location: playmobil land


PostPosted: Fri Apr 17, 2009 5:09 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
It is a joke

Bud i waz verzy zerioush *hick* i haz gazzered sesesooo manyyy botzzlesh alreadzy*hick*

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dr stephen williams
Baiting Guru


Joined: 06 Aug 2007
Posts: 15435
Location: DSW's Tattoo Parlour


PostPosted: Sat Apr 18, 2009 3:15 am Reply with quoteBack to top

See? SOmeone else is slagging off Canada. That Viagra guy is going to get pissed off again.

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Ivana
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 29 Sep 2008
Posts: 852
Location: Beautiful Hot Springs


PostPosted: Sat Apr 18, 2009 4:35 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I would make the empty beer can collection worth more -- make it worth the while - they are offering you millions, you are offering 500$...not that I think they have a concept of what a million dollars is, or what it would mean to their lifestyle...

A couple thousand dollars might get some interest Wink

And instead of a mini van - why not say it's in a trunk (they put millions of dollars in 20$ bills in trunks all the time) and you need to safely get it out of the country Wink Some of them are quite collectible...

You might get a couple to pick up the script Twisted Evil

I had a lad tell me today that he wanted to send me money next week (I know cash baiting is a major NO NO)...I keep telling him while I'm broke all the time I make ends meet and that's all I need until I have a real husband who can help support the household. Proud woman and all...it was pointed out to me that he might want to send stolen goods or bad checks....

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ScammedOut
Elite Baiter


Joined: 19 Jan 2009
Posts: 1440


PostPosted: Sat Apr 18, 2009 3:45 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
NEVER gotten an email from a citizen of Canada why enters "eh" into written communications


A friend of mine does. Her last email to me had 7 "ehs" in it.
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Ishkabibble
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 29 Mar 2009
Posts: 89
Location: Canada


PostPosted: Sat Apr 18, 2009 5:33 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Well done, from a fellow Canucklehead.

Regards,
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GSN_fan
Hellish Taskmaster


Joined: 31 Dec 2008
Posts: 537


PostPosted: Sun Apr 19, 2009 4:00 am Reply with quoteBack to top

marks2405 wrote:
this should be a competition. The funniest scam letter mock up


I know! I have some ideas for one.

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United Kingdom x6 United States x4 Nigeria Australia Switzerland Russia x2 x2 Germany

Listen very openly Barrister Koffi Adams forward to this or what you sent to him how der you sent such a thing to him with is age am very disapointed in you if by your next mail you could not comeplete sending the right way sorry.

Even my little child know how to send money and give to the taker on how to take it so

Austria is a the name of a country near Australia.

This are the details we required from you so our customer cab infect payment to you.

Our is not ready to receive your incandesces message

send to me their pin code and asses code
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Nurse Nasty
Baiting Guru


Joined: 31 Aug 2005
Posts: 7255
Location: Australia, where a dingo stole my eski


PostPosted: Sun Apr 19, 2009 4:26 am Reply with quoteBack to top

drbo wrote:
Indeed I should have posted it in a more appropriate thread.
Please accept my apologies.


Nah. It's fine. Not like the world will end. Smile

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