callum
Director of Press Relations
Joined: 29 May 2004
Posts: 3631
Location: On the run from the asylum and this seems like a good place to hide. Blend right in...
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 Posted:
Mon Apr 13, 2009 9:45 pm |
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My latest "We need to rebuild our church so give us your money!" lad has been quite lazy so far and now tries to wriggle into a second snake skin (no offense to snakes intended) to avoid providing the rather detailed business his investor requires.
| A Right Dick wrote: |
Kindly oblige me to introduce myself to you at moment. I am Rt. Rev. Dennis Dick, the Parish Head. On behalf of the entire Church Heads of various departments and congregation, we regret to inform you that, Pastor Diddly Dumdum has been admitted to hospital for a surgical operation etc etc.
The Church Elders have permitted me to write to you today on this issue and at the same time, solicit for your generosity to settle his hospital bills. The Surgery took place yesterday night by Dr. Bananarama As a matter of fact, we have been soliciting for aid from our numerous churches blah de blah
However, the total amount required to offset the hospital bill is $5,720.00 only and we are able to meet up the sum of $3,500 dum de doo dum de doo So, let us know from this balance, how much you can send to us. God will continually bless you and prosper you.
Signed by:
Rt. Rev. Dick |
| The Rich Man wrote: |
Dear Dick,
So sorry to hear about Georgie. I am just so glad that he was able to have the surgery without having to pay up front because he may well be dead by now if that had been the case and in heaven or hell. Possibly the later.
However now that he has the surgery it should only be a few days recovery time before he is able to instruct you to forward the missing information that I need in order to decide if I am going to sponsor the building work or not.
Please let him know that the longer he delays the more likely I am to give up waiting and simply spend or invest my funds elsewhere. |
| A Right Cheeky Dick wrote: |
Thank you for your error-ridden email. But, the issue at moment is to save the life Pastor Georgie etc etc and balderdash If you did not clearly take note what we indicated in that last mail to you, I am going to resend that same mail to now.
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| A Rich Man With Mondayitis wrote: |
Dear Dick,
The following is in repsonse to your failure to comprehend the English language. I shall repeat the gist of my previous email in primary school language so that you will be able to understand it. I shall call this story " When Georgie Got Sick"
Poor Georgie.
He got sick.
He had to go to hospital.
He had to have an operation!
But Georgie doesn't have a lot of money.
He could die if he has to pay first!
But the doctor said he could pay later.
So he was lucky to have the operation.
Georgie is still with us.
He did not go to heaven or hell,
He will get well soon.
Then he can tell his friends what they must do.
They need money to fix a church.
So they need to send some letters to a man.
This man has lots of money!
He may be able to help fix the church!
That would be good, but the letters can't be late.
If the letters are late, the man might spend all of his money!
Then the church would not be fixed.
This would make Georgie sad.
Georgie hopes his friends will do what they are told.
Then he will happy.
The rich man will be happy too
The End. |
Smug sod. Let's see if he bursts a blood vessel or two... |
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