The Spooner’s Extra Marital Lad Affairs -some NSFW content

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Posted: Fri May 08, 2009 12:59 pm

Point taken Murray. I was always intending to have a mythical religion, but one that's a breakaway one from a more well known one, to give my story credibility.

No reply from bugalugs yet, he/she normally emails around this time.

Posted: Fri May 08, 2009 1:42 pm

Quote:

For the religion, you would be better of using a religion that does not actually exist, just on the offchance that there is a very liberal Amish member here that you may offend

Good point, Murry. I hadn't thought of that possibility. I guess it's just generally good practice to avoid using real religions.

Posted: Fri May 08, 2009 2:13 pm

To hear his voice, and make him pay for the calls.

Quote:

.Do you know why i want to speak with you on phone to be more motivated towards you.

Not exactly what I'd like to do, but no accounting for taste.

Quote:

...i will not lie to you,i have ladies that try to woo me...i do not bulge cos i know what i want...

So what does he want? NSFW?

Quote:

i do not care for money,i have mine i have done good for myself....and i am contended...i make a request,can you please trust me?

So when he starts asking for money for lawyer/hospital will he like tobe reminded of this statement?

How about a new script to entertain us?

Posted: Fri May 08, 2009 3:19 pm

@Ophilia and Bombast, It is for the best yes

not that I am playing headmaster here, (I did that once before but on that occasion it worked out quite nicely) but not mentioning certain aspects of our lives is one of the things that makes this site so great, we are very diverse here, people from all walks of life work and play like a well oiled team and we all have a single common enemy.

You most likely wont offend anybody here by mention of a religion but all the same, why take the risk, especially when we have a prime opportunity to deeducate further Wink

@Devil, yes, we fully intend on ruining his script before he gets to use it, we want him to invest loads of time on us and we want to run the bait at our pace and not his and we fully intend on playing by our rules, after all, we are the ones with fake MTCNs, the power is certainly with us.

A few hours ago I replied to Little Jane
Sweety wants to get to know Jane

Quote:

Hi Jane

So gald you have emailed.

I really want to get to know you and so much want you to become good friends with Lulu, she is such a lovely girl and really deserves to have a special friend, please continue emailing her, it means so much to me,

I would also like you to tell me all about yourself rather then only telling me what your dad tells you to send

Please, tell me about your life, it must be hard with a mum

tell me about boys, do you have a boy friend and are you sexually active

what do you enjoy doing,

Who looks after you while you dad is running around risking his life in counries like Nigeria, such a hole of a place, surely it is not worth the risk to go there, how do you feel about that, tell him how stupid he is and let him know that he is not thinking properly by rsiking everything being there

well, Jane
It seems you dad has sent me an email or too, so I need to rush off and reply, but please, get back to me straight away

Regards
mum

More edits coming as I reply to James
editing with just one email sent

Quote:

James,

it is really late and I need to get some sleep

I have unexpcted business that I need to attend ,

A conferenece in Switzerland, then a flight to Sydney

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

fixed coding, I was barely awake when I replied to James and less awake when I posted
Fresh and full of lad whacking energy now but Laughing

Posted: Fri May 08, 2009 8:47 pm

Sweety update from Bangcock.

Shocked

So happy to see you all coping well with thread in my absence. Well done to all at "Clan Spooner". I am very much enjoying all the excellent baiting and wonderful twists and turns of this bait.

My conference in Switzerland was soon sorted. Pity DW's lad Frank failed to send even a halfway decent proposal and must now pester Murry about a Zoo scrotum ranch to enable him to buy his darling Queen Libby some underthingies.

Just time to post these pics before flying on to Sydney. So that james can phone Murry my partner in crime and virtual concubine, or is that porcupine?

Me phoning Lulu from bangcock airport - the spare key in the usual flowerpot - use the PC whenever OK.

Wink

And my new pretty pink oh-so blonde keyboard.

Laughing

Just before boarding.

Quote:

hi,did you read this mail and did you understand it?

James

Sweety Replies.

Quote:

Yes, I read it, much prefer when you write your own words though,
Sorry, I only have a moment, I am in between flights but I want you to take my advice about your safety there, dont come complaining to me if you dont.lol
I wrote you a poem the other day, yes, actually wrote it myself and didn't find it somewhere on the internet, I will send it to you later and write more from Sydney when I get there
You be careful there James and please, tell little Jane to write her own words and you tell me yourself what you want to tell me.
Sweet Regards
Sweety

Quote:

Ok they calling flight to board. Wooooooooooo Hoooooooooooo and byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. oxoxoxxoxoxoox

Posted: Sat May 09, 2009 8:36 am

Well still no more from Jane/James At least he's still in contact with Clan Spooner and it looks like he's dropping his insistence on a phone conversation.

Posted: Sat May 09, 2009 8:42 am

James certainly is in touch

Quote:

do you have time to chat now?for about 5 minutes.

james

Then this

Quote:

and also i wrote my poems.james

I would love to prove him wrong, but most likely not a good idea, I will think about that

Very much looking forward to Sweety's arrival, waiting at the airport now, various necessary goods in hand.

The plane has just landed, may be occupied for a litle while Wink

Edited to add

Of course he writes all of his poems Click Here I did a few searches. some lead back to here but it all leads to many other hits

Edited with Sweety's reply to James

Written by me as Sweety is recovering from her long flight

Quote:

Hi James,

I feel so shagged after the long flight, just got to where I am staying and need to see catch up with a few people.

My hasn't actually seen me in a few months and we need to catch up on a few things.

As to you writing all your own poems, I am sorry, i should not have doubted you, such wonderful poetry, of course you wrote it an published it because i have read some of it before.

James, write your own, I know you can, I never thought i could write poetry either until somebody told me once that i could, he had belief in me and gave me belief in myself, now I can write lovely poems all by myself for those I love.

Now, promise me you have done as I said to do.

It is quite late here so I need to get moving but please write to tell me you have done everything I asked you to do and please, have Jane write to me and Lulu, we both miss her, such a wonderful daughter you have, do you know if she is interested in boys, I do worry that she doesn't want to talk about it
all girls her age talk about nothing but boys and what they are up to with them, it's none of my business, but does she like girls perhaps, you know, its the only reason I can think of for her to not mention about boys to me.

Anyway
please write to me and I will get back to you in the morning
wish me a goodnight, a single kiss on the cheek please

Found regards
Sweety

In this email I am trying to teach him how his daughter should be behaving, you can imagine the reaction from a real vic when his daughter suddenly tells her dads new girlfriend how she just finished rooting 2 guys Wink

De-education play a big part in all baits, take every opportunity you can to make them less effective, it's part of baiting after all

Posted: Sat May 09, 2009 3:43 pm

James is getting desperate and all of his regular script has been made useless so he is now trying something else.

Quote:

i am dying to hear your voice,have you had dinner?i will pass your message to jane..i am down with malaria fever here,you know if i do not work,i cannot meet my responsibities...just like you,i have to expand my drag net to make money,or will you like to marry a man that is dependent on you?i am a man i like to provide for my family,even with this global recession i have to work more,i have to go now.......i am going to the pub now,hope to see your reply soon.....how do we get to hear each others voice?

james

Quite laughable actually, I would highlight the more humourous bits but really, this is a masterpiece of lads thinking on the run and I just love it Laughing

I cant help myself, lets break it down to laugh at it

i am dying to hear your voice,have you had dinner?
Well laddy, I did tell you it is very late, I did tell you I was in Aus, I sent the last email at about 1130 PM and I did tell you I just got off a plane from a long flight, yes, I have had dinner

i will pass your message to jane..

Oh good, what a good pet

i am down with malaria fever here,
Shame he can write "I am" but now here is something new, I wonder where this will lead Rolling Eyes

you know if i do not work,i cannot meet my responsibities

Yes, just like the people you are trying to steal from you filthy piece of crap

...just like you,i have to expand my drag net to make money
Expand his dragnet to make money? does that mean he will be looking for new magas, for those interested in a piece of this maggot in a seperate bait, we might be able to arrange this for a limited number of baiters

,or will you like to marry a man that is dependent on you?

I didn't say anything about marriage and isn't your whole scam revolved around you getting women to send you money Confused

i am a man

Well, that is one point I will dispute, you are no better than a piece of crap under my shoe, the only difference is teh piece of crap may be useful as fertiliser

i like to provide for my family

Yes, I am sure, then go and get a fecking job like the rest of us
I also sense his scamming is somehow not as profitable at the moment as he was hoping, even working weekends

,even with this global recession i have to work more

I am sure you do, more time in the cafe, magas dont have as much money to send, scripts posted all over the internet and magas that are just not cooperating

,i have to go now.......i am going to the pub now
Hang on, I thought you were going to use the malaria modality and now you are going to use the mugged at the pub modality, get your scam straight you bumbling fool

,hope to see your reply soon

Well, it wont be until we wake up and have a sleep in, then breakfast and another sleep in, It has been a while since the Spooners have had a chance to Ahhem, catch up

.....how do we get to hear each others voice?

Well, I could just go to the thread that Old Bag Lady posted recently that has you on cam

Not safe for work warnings do apply, please, dont click on this link if you dont want to see full frontal male nudity

james

Or any one of your other numerous identities

Posted: Sat May 09, 2009 8:02 pm

yeah that having malaria fever so bad that he can't do his responsibilities, and then going to the pub... made me go hmmm....don't educate him Rolling Eyes

Posted: Mon May 11, 2009 2:16 pm

^^ He seems to be over the malaria for the moment Laughing

Sweety is so shagged out from last night still that she has found her way to the hot tub where she intends on spending most of the day.

James wonders why Sweety hasn't written

Quote:

hi,how are you,why no message from you?

james

While relaxing in the hottub we discussed pets and came up with the following reply to the pitiful James

Sweety worried that James may have met some floozy

Quote:

Hi James,

I havent heard a word from you or Little Jane for days, I thought you must have met some floozy at the pub and was waiting for you to email me with your poems of love.

I am In Australia and very busy with business meetings, I have spent a lot of time catching up with my partner and told him all about you, he wants to talk to you, I told him you are a good man but he insists that he wants to talk to you. He is very protective of me and wants me to be happy, so will you call him tomorrow.

Please give Jane my love, tell her I want to hear from her and make sure she emails little Lulu.

IF you are interested, I have done some wonderful things here
I spent the day at the aquarium and walked to the zoo, I spent hours gazing at the Lions and thinking of you in Africa, please be careful there

Yesterday I went to Queens Cross, such a lovely quiet place, had a few Coronas with Becky and Borg, great company and good friends.

I hope to get some more time tomorrow and expect you will write More than a few pitiful words to me, hope you enjoyed the pub the other night, so glad you were able to enjoy yourself.

Thinking of you

Sweet regards
Sweety

We also discussed between <strike> kis</strike> business discussion about our next pet, a suitable new pet has been sourced, as usual the Spooners will be combining business with pleasure and attempting to bait a piece of crap who has scammed and broken a heart recently while gathering script and info to post publicly

Posted: Mon May 11, 2009 4:08 pm

Update from the hot tub.

Yeps, once again Murry has overdone the welcoming, and had to take some R&R.

Shocked

Quote:

This next lad is a “special one” claims to live in UK yet IP shows Puchong in Malaysia.

He will be paid back with some Spooner style pain. His last victim is now a member here.

The Eater community is very friendly, caring and glad to help you in any way we can.

Mail to new lad Jenson.

Quote:

Hi again,

I have recently been working in the UK, very busy and not had time to mail, but am back in Australia with time to spare.

How are you doing?

Have you met that woman of your dreams?

Please mail me back if you still interested.

Regards.

Sweetcheeks Spooner. (Katey)

Posted: Tue May 12, 2009 5:29 am

Hi All,

Well bugalugs has finally replied I got this a few moments ago:

Quote:

hi,lucy how are you?how was your day i hope okay?what did you do today?i got a new footware today and also a wristwatch.. i have to go now..do you know my dads name?

jane

As Kate is away in Australia at her conference, I suppose the only way Lucy can reply is to let the ugly boy at church have his wicked way with her Rolling Eyes

Posted: Tue May 12, 2009 8:31 am

*Girly kisses* Ophelia. Get a Barbie sorted for w/end - Me & Murry will pop over the rainbow.

Shocked

I have left key in flower pot for you, but I think letting guy have his "wicked way" a lot more fun.

Wink

Looking forward to reading your reply, babe.

Razz

Posted: Tue May 12, 2009 11:25 am

I will post a little later but James has sent Sweety some new emails

one suggested I hadn't replied, the other, we, who really cares.

Sweety and I have lots to discuss in the Spooner Australian retreat, including plans for restocking our VPA prospects Wink

Update coming shortly, important things must come first.

So little time so must rush post, for now we just are

Coming Sweety

Posted: Tue May 12, 2009 7:31 pm

Update on james.

Two mails to Sweety.

Quote:

hi kate,

i have been very busy here, i told i had gone to the pub to watch a soccer game,it turns out that they love soccer alot in this country and i also used the means to know some influntial people in the country.
so how has your meeting been going?really you told your partner about me?so what did he say?yes i can call him,but i do not have is number...i will tell jane to email you and lulu.

hope to hear from you soon my dear and i hope also it will be more than some pitiful words...i love you and miss you.

James

Quote:

If I could have just one wish,
I would wish to wake up everyday
to the sound of your breath on my neck,
the warmth of your lips on my cheek,
the touch of your fingers on my skin,
and the feel of your heart beating with mine...
Knowing that I could never find that feeling
with anyone other than you.

The poor lad sounds so very subdued. I best write back to him asap with a long meaningful mail and reassure him.

Shocked

Quote:

Darling james,

So glad you feeling better now. You poem was brill, but a bit short. You know I love your longer ones. They make my heart sing with joy.

Don’t you fear non about my business partner. As I said before, I told him you are a good man but he insists that he wants to talk to you. He is very protective of me and wants me to be happy, so will you call him tomorrow.

Ok so we mess around a bit, but it not really that serious, just sort of slap and tickle. Very jolly and all that. He does give a good sensual massage though, maybe he will give you and jane one when you come and visit soon.

Yes please perk yourself up a bit - pitiful words are ok, but I want so much to be wooed by you.

Sweet Sweety xxx.

Posted: Wed May 13, 2009 1:49 am

[quote="Ivana"]LMAO if they weren't lads - I'd say poor lads...caught between you Twisted Evil

I know there are several 500 question "purity tests" out there, one at http://www.puritytest.net/
@ Ivana : I went to the site and took the test--(200) and scored 93.5%. Embarassed

but got a lot of Ideas. (yea, right and we don' fib to our lads and lass's) Rolling Eyes

Posted: Wed May 13, 2009 3:49 am

Hi,

I've just sent the following email to bugalugs. Spent the whole morning doing it instead of work. my workplace is big on community engagement so I reckon this falls into that. I hope you all enjoy it. i've invented some new characters I hope you don't mind. B1lly Nudg3ll is a town in Northern NSW (an ex-flatmate used it as his stage name in a punk band) and the other name will be familiar to those living in the U.K.

Quote:

Hi Jane,

Got ur email. Been unable 2 get on net as kate is away. So im using the boy from churchs iphone. He is rully horrible. His name is Melvin Cottesloe. He doesn’t know yet but im not gonna let him tuch me. Im makin shure dat were not left alone. The phones rully cool but. I wuld so like 1. I asked dis girl at church dat nows about boyz & such about wat I shuld do. She reckins I shuld let him as he is hung like a horse & I wuld ruly enjoy it. I don’t know wat dat means. I asked her & she just laffed at me. Do u know wat she means? U & Kate are de only ppl I can ask about des tings. I never knew dey hung horses. I just tort dey shoot dem. I don’t understand.

Wye u ask if I now ur fathers name? Nup i don’t. Is it important i know ur dads name? Seein as we r on de subject, me father’s name is Billy Nudgell and me mothers name is Mertha Tiddville. In our religin women keep der surnames when dey marry, and the children take the surname of their maternal grandmother which in our case is Livesley. To ppl outside our religion it’s a bit confusin, but wer used 2 it.

U r so luky to get new shoes & watch. Me ma makes all of my clothes. She makes dem out of old potato sacks. Says that the ruff textur is 2 remind us that we r close 2 God. Im not allowed 2 hav a watch. Parents say is devils tool. O I wish I was u. Wot r ur shoes like? Describe dem 2 me.

Do u like music? Im not allowed to listen 2 music, but I sumtimes hear wot others r playin at sckool. I like Gwen Stefani sheez rully cool. Most at me sckool r into beyonce & all dat hip-hop rubbish. Da boyz walk around like der ganstars in de ghetto, wit der jeans hanging so low u can see de skid marks on der undies HA, HA, HA.

I gotta go now, our church youth meeting is about 2 finish and me ma will be lookin 4 me. Don’t know when I’ll get access 2 net. If Melvin plays me way, den I probably can b4 kate get back from her trip.

Lulu

Posted: Wed May 13, 2009 6:36 am

Bravo Ophelia - luv the reply. Mertha Tiddville PMSL - Her nickname wouldn't be Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch by any chance?

Wink

Latest mail from james

Quote:

you are too secretive..are you not scared you will drive me away/as much as i like you,it is still a reality..if you do not change soon.

James

Sweety too busy to reply straightaway, besides I am inclined to be hasty and tell the jerk to take his insipid and crap wooing elsewhere, pronto.

Will get Murry to work his magic and reply on my behalf.

Laughing

Posted: Wed May 13, 2009 7:33 am

Katey be nice to the nasty man.

Quote:

you are too secretive.

NSFW of course, you need to receive a nice present, every time, before having sex. It is your whore fantasy.

Ask him about his fantasy.

Posted: Wed May 13, 2009 9:09 am

@ Ophelia, just loved little Lulu's reply, please post a warning in future so I dont choke laughing Wink

As to new charactors, feel free, just means he has to spend more time on us and as he has invested so much time already, he should be thrilled at the prospect of wasting even more time on us Wink

@DW, of course we will play nice with the pet, he might leave us if we dont open up you know Laughing

@Sweety My darling, good news, I recently received a gift of $800,000,000 together with a Krudd payment of $900, I was able to pay off the recent credit card spending, well, almost.

You can have the plastic back now, it is right ........ strange, it was right here, you haven't seen the plastic have you? Rolling Eyes

Pet update, yes, another one already

Good news, our pet is well and sending us lots of desperate emails trying to get us to love him, problem it we are not falling in love as quickly as he would like, he keeps setting up for his money requests but we just dont seem quite ready when he is.

James is about to go back to Canada

Quote:

hi love how come no message from you?did i offend you..hope to hear from you soon..and what of the poem you wrote for me my love?have a nice time over there,i am going back to canada this week.bye .

james

Now this is where knowing your pet can come in real handy, he has a common trend of getting on planes with an expensive ring, this one as it turns out

he then gets caught by customs for smuggling jewelry and needs his lawyer to convince you to send money to bail him out

How on earth can we make sure he keeps out of trouble

Sweety sends her poem of love and wants James to be very careful

Quote:

James,

I did explain what i have been doing, and I asked you some questions that you haven't replied to, now you come out with this crap that I am going to lose you, why do you try to hurt me like this, it is exactly why I am reluctant to get close to you.

I did write a poem for you, I wrote it a week ago and I was waiting for the right time to share it with you.

I have been a little disappointed with you 5 word emails, I understand that you will be busy sometimes just as I am, but to send me 2 lines and call it wooing is a bit of an insult to our love.

Here, this is what I wrote for you

As every day passes and the more that we share
There more that I want you and want to be there
I didn't expect to so quickly or deeply start to love you
But fall in love I have I cant deny a love so true

It makes no difference if we write of excitement or bore
Everything I find about you makes me seem like a whore
We share our secrets and we share our desire
we even share romantic dreams of a Mc intyre

My wonderful sweetheart it can only be fate
that 2 perfect hearts would meet in a world of hate
With each passing day they get closer together
in a bond so loving and strong it cant last forever

But love you I do and the love only grows longer
more passionate and powerful and the dreams stronger
The tune of our loving hearts beats the same
a loving and beautiful tune of cathartic rain

I know we will grow to love more and I just cant wait
To touch you and feel you and be your best mate
I have known for a while and have accepted our games
That my heart now beats for one and his name is James

Darling I give my all to show how much I love you
I am Gurus, take me and do what you do
I will spend the rest of my days daring to dream
With the most beautiful prince the world has seen

Our dreams will be long and and bloody beaut
and I am in extacy every time that we root
I love the time we spend in bus or in the car
and know that we are not just lovers, we just are

Now James, please dont do anything stupid, I have heard that in Africa there are blood diamonds, I dont wont you to get involved in any of that shit you hear me, none of it, just do your work, and get out of there OK.

I will be finished up here in a few days time and will be able to spend more time with you, in the meantime
I want you to go back and answer my questions, you want me to open up well you need to do it too, I also wonder why little Jane isn't contacting me, I am so worried she doesn't like me, I tried talking sex talk with her like all girls her age do and she just isn't interested, very strange for a girl her age, I do hope she is Ok with you being away so often.

Anyway, I need to go now, I do have feelings for you but you need to stop pushing and start writing.

Single kiss on your cheek

Regards
Sweety

The love poem is one I put together full of usual hidden treats for any unsuspecting victim as well as a treat or 2 for those following our adventures

We have more good news, while putting this post together, our wonderful not so obedient pet has replied already

James loves me, but he is going into a meeting trying to find new script

Quote:

i just got your reply..am on my way to a meeting..

Quote:

i will send you a mail

when i am through with the meeting..i love you kate (well, he just loves her money Wink

)..please do not doubt this..that is why i am pushing hard..cos i cant sleep..i just wish i could hold and kiss you soon.

james

I actually detect some truth from our pet, isn't it nice he is starting to be honest, the truth is highlighted

He isn't the first pet who has wanted to kiss me Embarassed

And I have no doubt at all he is losing sleep over us Cool

SweetCheeks My Darling, when you are ready I will be right here ready for our board meeting

Juan's stalker Joined: 28 Aug 2008 Posts: 1423

Murry and Kate if you need an unsuspecting maga to be snared in this turds drag net just let me know what I can do for you.

I will be happy to show the love to any of your pets to help out and keep them occupied.

I have lots of love to give and I'm so lonely and desperate. Sad

Posted: Wed May 13, 2009 4:00 pm

I'll put in my offer, too. I can be anything you want.

Well, maybe not ANYTHING, but I have several characters I can bring to the table. At the moment they're all American, but I suppose they could change at a moment's notice. Wink

Posted: Wed May 13, 2009 4:15 pm

Good job to all! bow_down

Sis means it too! Wink

Posted: Wed May 13, 2009 8:57 pm

It seems Sweety doesn't want to leave board meeting just yet so I will update what is happening with James

Quote:

James makes the Guru feel sick

No words required

Quote:

i am sorry about telling you ,you will loose me...please i need you in my life..i do not want to loose you..i just said that cos i am jealous,and i am jealous cos i like you.i like you poem..you have real talent and it always goes staright to my heart.forgive me on the two lines..why do i make you feel like a whore?i want to have a bond that last forver..is this nit what you want?

jane went on a field trip for her class,she will be back on friday.

a deep wet and passionate kiss to your mouth.

james

then he sent me this

Quote:

kate

I will never forget you
You are the world to me
There is no one like you
When you gave me your love
There are no words to express
What I feel for you.
I offered you my heart with sincerity
I offered you my love for lifetime
You are the one I love you
You are the one I want to touch
I need you so much
I promise you our love will bloom
With faith and sincerity till the end
I love you because you make me
Feel good and look forward to everyday
And I want to be with you forever

james

I will leave you to ponder that one while I disinfect my mouth

DQ and Titania

Thank you for your kind offers, I do have a few pets I would like baited

I would love to have James baited by DQ, he loves to use chat, although we haven't and your chat experience will work wonders
I am interested to see if he sends you my poems Wink

Titania, Seeing as Desmond doesn't want us any more he may be could use your love if you would like to bait him

Posted: Wed May 13, 2009 11:22 pm

Murry Guru wrote:

.is this nit what you want?

What a nice pet he is, water torture to get lovey dovey talk and poems from, but freely wants to give Sweety head lice Laughing

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