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 My mother turned 80

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HarvestMoon
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 7:42 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Yesterday was my mother's 80th birthday. I am finding that I am having a difficult time dealing with the fact that she is getting old. She is in really good health, active - both physically and mentally. I was fine with her being in her 70's, but now 80 just seems really old. Has anybody else experienced feelings like this?

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Corona
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 8:26 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

The thought of being without my mom or dad is scary.

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ParaNoid
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 9:49 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

My dad is a year away from that mark. It is always a challenge to see that they (parents) and we are getting older. When I look out of my eyes, I feel like a 25 year old. When I am looking in the mirror, I see someone twice that age looking back at me in confusion... Shocked

Congratulations to your mum!

I am thinking about setting an age, then when I reach it, I will start counting backward (i.e., 67, 68, 69, 69, 68, 67 ...) Wink




edited because I was talking on the phone and posting... Embarassed

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doc holliday
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 11:35 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

@paranoid-know how you feel.When some one asks me how old I am,for some reason the first thing that hits my head is 17.I'm coming up hard on triple [email protected] to hear your mom is physically and mentally active,I really think that is key.I lost both my parents at the age of 78.On the other hand i had an uncle who recently passed away at almost 90,who looked a good 20 years younger,and never slowed down until right at the end.

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Chibuike
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 11:46 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

My grandmother who lived to be 93 told me the secret to life is to pick an age that you liked and stick to it. So I have been 22 all my life and enjoy it; to heck with being 55.

Sadly my Mom is 85 and just beginning to have strong health concerns. However, she maintains a positive attitude and say she has to carry on the family tradition of living long. Her grandparents lived to be 97 and 99. It's a Danish thing!

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HarvestMoon
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 2:00 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Thanks for the responses, it helps to put things into perspective. Age is a funny thing, I think I stopped aging sometime around 1979...

2009 is a big year for my family. My son, my 'baby', turned 20 in January. Now my mother is 80. My 50th is in June. In July my sister turns 55 and my parents celebrate their 60 year wedding anniversary. My daughter will graduate college in Dec. That's a lot of big events for one year.

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D11
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 2:15 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Well first of all happy birthday to her.

The only advice i can offer is try to put it out of your mind. It will only make you feel bad, and she will sense it, as they say mothers know when we feel upset.
Plus these days she could live for another 20 years, as you said shes in good health etc, so try to see the positive and enjoy her company etc.

Life does have the horrid bit, but we just have to live our lives to the absoulte fullest we can, no one knows when it will end, but if we worry about that we miss all the great bits that are going on around us.

When you feel bad, try to see "here and now" just go with the flow and enjoy life with your mom, life cant be changed so we might as well make the most of it.

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CowboyBuck
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 3:27 am Reply with quoteBack to top

My mother is about to turn 90.

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drbo
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 7:30 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Alas... here I am to be the downer of the thread..

My father died at the age of 70 and all four of my grandparents were gone by the age of 70.... some before 65...

My mother had a scare last year at the age of 65.
I am very close to my mother... more now than ever.

I make sure to spend as much time as possible with her and appreciate and adore her.

My mother knows all about my scambaiting "hobby" and has a wonderful view on it. she says that "I am putting my evil talents to work for a good cause".

I am a courier and spend most of my days driving around. I pick her up at her home near my place and she rides around with me all day.

We have some fantastic arguments and she can swear like a trucker sometimes... as can I....

At the end of the day I make sure I tell her I love her.

Never did that before she had health problems...

I am Scottish and Ukrainian.. so much for the vodka and whisky mix...
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GomerPyle
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 8:23 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I think I was trying to make myself better about the number of prescriptions I was taking and asked my Mom, in her mid-eighties, how many she took. She sturned round in surprise and told me straight that she didn't take any, but added she sometimes took a multi-vitamin. Very Happy

Funny how a parent still has the power to crush a child - even at my age. Laughing

I should be, and am, happy she's so active and fit, and she did object when I recently took her on a country ramble through water logged fields deep in mud, but I think I'm forgiven now.

Not quite as ft as she thinls she is then ? Very Happy

Even as a son - I'm a bastard.

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GordonBennett
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 10:47 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^^ My father, who lives on the other side of the world, came to see me for a few weeks. He's 81 and my siblings have been sitting him in a corner and patting him on the head, if not literally, then metaphorically.
I dragged his arse up a local mountain, bloodied his knees, took hours longer than we should, stayed the night and came down slowly the next day. After 15 hours of tough walking, you should have seen the grin on his face. Old is in the head.
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benjaminbunny
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 10:56 am Reply with quoteBack to top

GB wrote:
Old is in the head


How true! My mother is 81 and determined to be old, she's quite capable and the doctor says she's in good health. Her idea of life at present is to get up at 11 am, sit, and go to bed at 11 pm. She'd like to be waited on hand and foot as well, but unfortunately she lives with me. I probably seem heartless, but getting her own breakfast and lunch and visiting the bathroom is the only exercise she gets. Taking her anywhere is not an option if there are steps, no 'facilities' within easy reach, no comfy chairs. It's wearing!

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HarvestMoon
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 1:00 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I love the stories this is generating. Really makes me even more resolved to spend some more time with my parents. They only live a few miles away.

DrBo, Your post was not a downer, it was a message of appreciating what you have. It is terrific that you have found a way to spend time with her while you work. The vision made me smile.

GB, I can see that grin on your father's face. My father is like that when I spend some time with him working in his garden. His knees are bad, but he is out there every day in the spring and summer.

BB, It sounds like your mother is suffering from depression. Have you talked to the dr. about it? Another suggestion is to get her involved in something. We bought my mother a computer when she turned 75. She has spend a lot of time teaching herself how to use it. She is always emailing me those silly little jokes and words of inspiration that I usually just delete. But from her, I make sure I comment on them.

Yes...old is in your head. Now I just have to find a place that sells clothes for people that are actually almost 50 but thinks they are still 19.

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Nanny Ogg
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 4:18 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

My ma in law is in her 80s
She has only admitted to being 19 as long as I've known her.
She did amend it to 19and a half a few years back.
Ever tried getting a birthday card with 19 and ahalf on it???
( I mananged! )
In many ways she still acts like a teenager...
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