Atlantis Bait - *** JACKSON POWELL / DICKBOI'S FOLLY***

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Posted: Sun Mar 15, 2009 2:33 pm

Bad news... I think my hunch was right about him not being at the border. I got a flurry of emails this morning...

Mr. Sh3rman wrote:

Subject: DEEP SH*T!!

Call me right now. You didn't call at 8AM as I told you. Anyway, there is a BIG PROBLEM! We couldn't make it to Abidjan. Our driver's car was seized. His had expired papers- so were expatriated back to Accra.

If you will call me and arrange for us to meet at Golden Tulip that would be great!
We tried to everything possible to connect another driver to take us to the hotel in Abidjan from the Ivorian border, but it appears this people are very wicked!!! We are stranded and yet everyone has been calling for us to return to make arrangement for my wife's burial! I am a very tight corner!! I want you to understand this. I slept in a car in border something I haven't done all my life!!! I need you to understand the trouble we have been going through here. It's terrible!

Worried.

Mr. Sh3rman wrote:

Please do everything possible to get us out of this mess! Charles is very worried so am I. His mother needs him back! I don't want the people to feel that my wife's death doesn't mean anything to me. Try to understand my situation!

I really wish I could make it to Abidjan right now, but we couldn't! Maybe it's an act of God that we couldn't make it there after all efforts!

If you can try to get back to Accra that will be splendid!!

Mr. Sh3rman wrote:

Subject: Call me very urgent

Please please come to our aid! I don't understand why people can be wicked! A driver we approached lately refused going to Abidjan without any initial deposit!
I even promised to pay him 4 times of his cost, he refused blatantly!! That's crazy!!
Please call I am in a mess right now! If you can try to get to Accra today, that will be really wonderful!
Has your jet been fixed yet? Please call me-it's urgent!

Mr. Sh3rman wrote:

Subject: I AM ANXIOUSLY AWAITING YOUR CALL!

I am still waiting on you to call me. Please do call! You call (assurance) will be a saving grace we need at this very terrible time- like we are in a sh*thole! However, I don't know when you can be through with your jet engine repairs (probably you are already done with that?). Please call me.I am anxiously waiting! You have to try to make it to Accra. All our efforts to get to Abidjan has failed!

I may not be able to e-mail you again after this time out, because I am able to read/response to e-mails at this moment at someone else's expense. A total stranger for that matter! It hasn't been easy for us since we couldn't meet you at Golden Tulip as previous arranged. I know it isn't your fault but some engine issues! It happens all the time. Human beings fails let alone human-made equipments!

Basically, if I have to arrange to get to Abidjan it might be tomorrow via air or so, but that depends on how soon I can get money in my hand. In the meantime, I have tried to contact my account officer in the UK to send me some money for expenses, it appears they don't presently have any corresponding bank in Ghana to receive money to cater for our needs and all that! He only assured me he will try to link up with their partners' bank who may have correspondence bank in Accra! And f*ck too I didn't have any credit cards here!!! We really F*CKING STRANDED HERE!!!

Please call me it's very urgent!

Once again, remain blessed.

Mr. Sh3rman wrote:

Subject: WHAT IS HAPPENING????????? PLEASE CALL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What is happening?!?!?!?!? I haven't heard from you. Is everything okay?

I expected you to call at exactly 8AM today but I have no call from you- even till this moment. What is wrong? This is most unusual!

You must know we are in a sh*thole! We need you to come to our aid! Please you have to get here in Accra so we can meet.

Please call me ASAP!

Dav1d Sh3rman
PS My regards to your lovely wives!

So basically my hunch is that he never left Accra and now is trying to squeeze money from me to make it to Abidjan (big surprise). I called him and he talked my ear off. He suggested that I send him some money for travel through MoneyGram. I don't think that's happening. We'll see where this goes today... Very Happy

Trophy Videos · Posted: Sun Mar 15, 2009 5:13 pm

Man, our boi sure can exaggerate! Do you have the audio to post here, Bluth? It might be quite amusing. Laughing

Posted: Sun Mar 15, 2009 5:27 pm

Here's the audio from our conversation: click! If I recall at one point when he's talking about his late "wife" he starts to choke up a bit Rolling Eyes

Also, here's a bit more back and forth...

I wrote:

I have read your emails and understand your plight, but you must understand that my private jet is still being repaired so my wives and I are immobile. I have heard that there is a bus that travels between Accra and Abidjan each day. Perhaps you could catch that bus?

Either way, you must find a way to get to Abidjan as soon as possible! I know you can do it. Please send me word of when you are leaving and when we can expect you.

Best luck, and we will be awaiting word of your arrival!

Mr. Sh3rman wrote:

I will try to see what I can do tomorrow. Though it's very difficult to travel by bus when we have no money! This is unlike traveling by car hire service. That would have worked perfectly except that our previous plan was hitched! Damn it!! For the bus service, you definitely will need to get a paid-for ticket at the bus station. I can't book online as it is strictly cash business! Honestly if it were more possible than ever, we would be in Abidjan tonight!

I know I can do it, but we are going through some very tough challenges that made it seem somewhat impossible at the time! In other words, it doesn't seem any natural in my estimation- I can only say it's more an act of fate! Rest assured, I will do everything I possibly can tomorrow to get to Abidjan. At the moment, Charles is trying to get a few of his relatives send us money for this trip by tomorrow. Also, I need him to explain to them about our situation here, so it doesn't look like I never care (one bit!) about my wife's burial arrangement etc.

I have also inquired more about the bus I was told it leaves at 10 AM (daily) and it arrives Abidjan at 5PM or so.

If we are lucky to get the above money issues taken care of, we should arrive at Abidjan by 6PM tomorrow (Monday), God's willing.

Please call me as soon as you read this e-mail.

Hope my e-mail finds you ALL well.

Thanks and remain in the lord's blessing!

Dav1d Sh3rman
PS You and your wives need put us in your prayers! Please it is important so there is no more hitch on our way to Abidjan!

I wrote:

I am having someone look at my phone so I will call you as soon as I can. Do you have a local number I can try and call you on there in Accra?

You must do everything you can to make it over to us here in Abidjan as we cannot leave this place until our jet is repaired. Have Charles tell his relatives that if they send him the money for travel I will repay them ten-fold. It is very important that you get here for our grand celebration!

I will call you as soon as possible. See if you can get me a local number to reach you on.

My wives and I will be praying for you to find a way to reach us. We know you can do it.

Mr. Sh3rman wrote:

I am afraid there is no local number I can give you to call me on at this time. Even if I can find one, it belongs to someone else. He is not usually with us. It might be better to give you the number if I know when exactly you can call.

Meantime, I suggest you keep trying to reach me on Charles number. That is the only safe number you can call me. Remember we should security conscious! It isn't safe for a third party to intercept our communication etc. On a different note, my UK mobile is switched off and doesn't work in Nigeria- it might have been nice to contact me on it.

I hope your phone is properly fixed. I do look forward to your call as soon as you can.

Thanks for your prayer support from you and wives! That are important to make our arrival to Abidjan a huge success! We know how much that grand celebration mean to each of us, in spite of the tragedy that struck into my "loving world" Life must go on in any case- as they say.

Hope my e-mail finds you well.

Remain blessed ALL of you!

I hope to talk to him on Dan's radio show today. I'm sure he won't have anything new to add, but I can grill him about his return from the border back to Accra. Methinks he didn't sleep in any cars, but I will press him for details. Very Happy

Posted: Sun Mar 15, 2009 8:17 pm

Nothing like making the lad work on a weekend, or work period for that matter. Laughing

Trophy Videos · Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2009 12:20 am

That's our boi, alright. He even talks (yells and stutters) with exclamation points! Just like his writing! Laughing

Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2009 3:16 am

If you're up for a good long listen to Mr. Sh3rman (just under 25 minutes), check out the call I placed to him this evening: clicky! We covered a range of topics, but he claims they will be heading over to Abidjan by bus and might even be buying a SIM card for his phone so he'll have a local number. We'll see.

Here's to hoping the next time I talk to him he's on his way to Abidjan! Very Happy

Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2009 3:57 am

are you sure that's not a baiter? he's got a wonderful imagination Laughing

419Eater is my life Joined: 19 Sep 2006 Posts: 416

^^^^^^^^^^^

He is VERY suggestible - he picks up all sorts of things from our "mis-education" programme. For instance, I fed him the script for the H4m4s H00ter modality - see my siggy for an example of just how ludicrous this was, but he rose to the occasion because he liked the idea of being the leader of H4m4s in Pakistan Rolling Eyes

for a few weeks. He responds well to silly suggestions from anyone who is rich and successful - he sees himself as being a cut above your average Nigerian slumboi millionnaire wannabee.

Which is nice... Very Happy

Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2009 10:10 am

For some reason, with two of the characters he's used on my retired US Marine, he felt the need to invent relatives who had military backgrounds. His Malaysian wash-wash merchant made the mistake of claiming that:

Quote:

I have friends who served in the military- at least they are not aggressive as you- one of died in the hospital last year. He sustained major injuries from Iraq in 2004.

A quick fact-check proved that there were no Malaysian units in Iraq:

Quote:

... your friend deserved to die - there were never any Malaysian soldiers serving in Iraq, in any capacity, so that can only mean he was supporting the terrorists, in fact fighting on their side. And if you're proud of that, well, that puts you on their side. That makes you a target!

Juan's stalker Joined: 28 Aug 2008 Posts: 1423

Well I just love his email subject titles.

Quote:

Subject: DEEP SH*T!!

That made me laugh really hard.
Your lad is so fun Bluth and very dramatic.
My favorite combo. Wink

Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2009 4:04 pm

More delay tactics. I suppose it's better than him being at home, although I think he's fairly comfortable in Accra since he's staying at a friend's place.

Mr. Sh3rman wrote:

Subject: Situation Report and Local Number

Yes we definitely are both going through tough challenges! First it was your jet engine problem and yet again (recently) your phone . Mine, apart from doing everything possible for us to meet one another including your wives, I have a great obligation returning to Nigeria for my late wife's burial. But before then, I understand how imperative, important and pressing it is that we meet over the Atlantis celebration to inaugurate the Atlantis project commencement proper and kick-off officially.

Really, I thought we would be able to travel to Abidjan today unfortunately we couldn't. My sincere apologies. Charles relatives tried sending money today but it implies it won't be available until after at least 2 days! Bank transfers take 3 days! They couldn't even send money via MoneyGram or Western Union as we were told Nigeria is only a receiving country. So you cannot send money from there via such medium unless through a bank transfer which takes at least 3 days!

The driver who took us the other day to Ivorian border while his car was seized is trying to link us to another chaffeur who can assist us. Lucky enough, one of Charles's Christian brothers in Accra is able to arrange some of the travel cost. Tentatively, if we can get this taken care of definitely we should arrive Abidjan latest by tomorrow otherwise it will be Wednesday ok. That might be until we receive the bank transfer money. Please you have to be patience with us.

I can only say there is a reason for everything happening between us and thus postponing our grand celebration! One thing I am sure is that our meeting finally will be worth the time already lost! Smile.

God is here. Let's keep praying and hoping! I know how frenzingly worried your wives are at this time.

Please call me as soon as you get this e-mail and can call!

Hope my e-mail finds you well.
Remain blessed,
Dav1d Sh3rman
PS Tell me about your jet repair status- any progress with that?
Here is a local number (+233 54 xxxxxxx) I have been able to secure through Charles Christian brother in Accra whose apartment we have been staying since we came.

What do you think his angle is? My guess is that he thinks he can wait me out and force me to come over to Accra. Of course, it's not going to happen. Abidjan or bust! Very Happy

Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2009 4:05 pm

He's come so far, what's a couple hundred more miles? Cool

419Eater is my life Joined: 19 Sep 2006 Posts: 416

Quote:

I can only say there is a reason for everything happening between us

Well he's hit the nail on the head there! Wink

Silly sod ought to get a credit card, though. Make everyone's life easier.

I wonder if he's stalling because he doesn't speak French? Anyway, stand your ground BB and he will come crawling, though not always in the way you expect.

Meanwhile, Sir C has been sending him several "WTF are you doing??????" type e-mails. He deigned to reply with

Quote:

I am going to get back with you. Relax.

Cheeky bastard. That bit of insolence cost him a big slap and an implied death threat. Got to keep the loonies on the path... Twisted Evil

Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2009 4:57 pm

lazy and comfortable lad wrote:

I know how frenzingly worried your wives are at this time.

Oh this is going to be fun, Bluth! Laughing

He does need to get moving. He is just so close......

Trophy Videos · Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2009 5:30 pm

Hey, he told Emil his wife was buried over a week ago! He sure likes to recycle his excuses to all our characters. Laughing

Bluth, if your plane awaits a part from Europe, you can wait for him indefinitely! No problem, Dickboi, you are quite comfortable in the hotel, and enjoying Africa very much! Your wives love the Markets! Very Happy

Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2009 5:48 pm

Well, well, well. I received a call from our lad from his Ghana phone number. He informed me that they had found a driver that would take them over to Abidjan. For some reason they are leaving now and sleeping over at the border "again" tonight. He expects to arrive by noon local time tomorrow. They scraped together enough money to pay him part of the fare and expect me to pay the rest upon arrival.

Take a listen here: CLICK!

He had a lot to say and I tried to drag out the phone call since he initiated it. He talked pretty quickly and said a lot without saying much of anything (typical of this lad). Still, a fun listen. Maybe later today I'll give him a call to see how things are going, and if everyone here is nice Dora might make her phone debut as one of my wives! Wink

Trophy Videos · Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2009 6:09 pm

I'll try to be nice, Dora! Good luck on the call. Please do it for us. Very Happy

Nice work, Bluth. Very Happy

419Eater is my life Joined: 19 Sep 2006 Posts: 416

Hee hee!!

Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2009 10:54 pm

Dickboi is ignoring Captain Mal - which is not good; Mal is not happy right now given he was robbed in New York and just lost a friend in Iraq (attended the funeral over the weekend), and Mal can get really tetchy...

Trophy Videos · Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 5:24 am

Dora and Dramaqueen make their debut appearance, and they do a great job playing the two wives of BluthBanana's character, J. W@lter We@therm@n. Very Happy

In this one, the three of them call our safari lad, David Sherman, who is scheduled to leave Ghana early this morning, and arrive in Abidjan before noon. There are some really funny parts in this call, so I hope you'll listen to this one! You wouldn't believe how much work it was for me getting these two together for this. Wink

We are hoping the female touch will help push him westward over the border, and they did so well that I am confident in success in a few hours. Very Happy

This is a long one, about 38 minutes, so go grab popcorn and a drink first. Thanks girls for offering your talent to us in our safari. We appreciate it! Very Happy

You two were funny as well! Laughing

http://www.4shared.com/file/93345393/711af335/bluthdoradramaqueentuesdaymarch17.html

I know DickHead will make it there. We prayed for it all together on that call, so there will be no hitches. And lots of good shopping! Very Happy

419Eater is my life Joined: 19 Sep 2006 Posts: 416

Words fail me.

bow_down

Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 12:15 pm

Ya'll are not right!

419Eater is my life Joined: 19 Sep 2006 Posts: 416

Dickboi has arrived, somewhere or other. He sent this to Sir Ch4rles, his oga:

Quote:

We are going to have the meeting any moment from now. relax

I replied asking where the f*** he is, and what his planned modalities are.

Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 1:56 pm

YAY!!!

I can't wait!! After all, we have been partying all night waiting for him!!

Thanks Bluth and Slap for letting me and DQ play along. I think she and I talked more than your lad did! Embarassed

I can't wait to hear what he has to say today!!

DQ? Wanna going shopping? Wink

419Eater is my life Joined: 19 Sep 2006 Posts: 416

^^^^^^^^^^^^

You ladies were AWESOME!!!!! Very Happy

How could he NOT travel to Abidjan after that performance?

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