look! it's french... very broken....

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Not quite a Newb Joined: 10 Mar 2009 Posts: 20

hey. i got this message this morning..... just read through it and it is very confusing!!

anyone else here know french?.. it's a long one...

Quote:

AFFAIRE SECRETE ET CONFIDENTIELLE

Cher monsieur ou madame
Permettez -moi de vous informer de mon d・ir de cooper・ avec vous.J' ai obtenu votre e- mail a la CHAMBRE DU COMMERCE ET D'INDUSTRIE DE COTE D'IVOIRE aussi surprenant que cela puisse paraitre.En effet, je me nomme 3FF DE OU4 , 23 ans, fils ain衄amp;nbsp; du richissime et directeur de la puissante filiale commerciale de caf蠡et cacao du Cote d'Ivoire connu et reconnu a LA BOURSE DES VALEURS LONDRES et dans tout le monde entier, feu MICHAEL DE OUA , empoisonn蠡par ses associ・ lors d' un voyage d' affaires .Apr舍 la mort de mon p舊e , ma m舊e detenait une ATTESTATION DE SOLDE BLOQUEE ET SECURISE a mon nom ici dans notre banque d'une valeur de 4,5 MILLIONS DE DOLLARS

.Et ma m舊e pouvant plus supporter le dec舍 de son mari ( mon p舊e) mourrut 4 mois mois tard des suites d'une hypertension arterielle .Ainsi au chevet de son lit de mort, elle me remit tous les documents justifiant la pr・ence de ce compte et prouvant de par la meme que j'en suis le propri・aire attitr蠡et me conseilla sagement d' ouvrir un compte fiable et a l'・ranger selon les recommandations de feu mon p舊e dans lequel ces fonds doivent etre transf・・.Je vous rapelle que je suis en ce moment en COTE D'IVOIRE ,avec ma petite seour (MARIE)car c'est la dans une banque que mon feu p舊e a depos蠡ces fonds .Je me suis donc rendu a la banque avec tous les documents nec・saires et les autorit・ bancaires me demandent de fournir toutes les ref・ences et informations n・essaires de ce compte a l'・ranger afin que cela puisse se faire immediatement .

Voila un peu ce en quoi va consister votre mission :
M' aider a transf・er ces fonds qui vont servir des mon arriv・ chez vous a de gros investissements .Des reception de ces fonds ,je viendrai vous rejoindre avec ma petite soeur MARIE qui est appell・ a poursuivre ses ・udes a l'・ranger selon les recommandations de feu mon p舊e.A la reception de ces fonds , je vous propose 15 % en guise de remerciements et 30% comme benefice sur tous les revenus des investissements auxquels cet argent va servir et que vous aller m'aider a monter et g・er.

S V P , monsieur ou madame
,veuillez garder la discr舐ion a cause des des probl臾es socio politiques que nous vivons en ce moment .Mon p舊e a ・蠡assassin蠡et "LES CRIMINELS " qui l'ont assassin蠡en veulent terriblement a notre vie.Je compte sur bonne foi et votre honnet・蠡pour que cet argent soit transf・蠡dans les 24 heures qui suivent pour que nous arrivions la bas ma soeur et moi .Contactez moi des reception de ce courrier par telephone ou e mail urgemment .......
NB:je me cache en ce moment dans un hotel de la place pour des raisons securitaires et des menaces perpetuelles dont je suis victime.
Veuillez m' appeller ou m'ecrire via e mail des reception de ce message et surtout gardez la discretion

QUE DIEU VOUS BENISSE
MERCI POUR VOTRE AID
3FF 0UA

gonna reply saying i'm confused for the most part of the message Smile

.. my french is a little rusty... haven't really written in french since school(all french btw).. well it's better that his i'll be proud of that haha

my mesage..

Quote:

Cher monsieur 0ua

Je suis désole. votre situation me resemble pas vraiment désirable. mais je veut vous dire que je pouvais pas comprendre la plus part du courriel car il-y avait des charactères chinois and des gros points au milieu des mots.. je veut vous aider car je pouvais lire un peut du message et j`ai vu que toi et ta pettite soeur souffre a ce moment.

sìl te plait peut tu me ré-écrire votre message pour que je peut la comprendre et que je puisse vous aider plus facillement?

Merci bien et je vous souhaite bonne chance et je demande a Dieu à vous aider durant ce temps difficile

Avec Amour

Mme J4nin3 B0nn34mie

Posted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 6:08 pm

When you receive broken French, it is likely you can 'educate' your lad about the proper use of the French language. Point out to him a grammatical error in his original e-mail, and helpfully suggest he fix it. The fix might include words such as "prostituée", or "merde" or perhaps "Je suis un menteur" or "je suis un arnaqueur"; or even "C'est une escroquerie"

It all depends on how badly your mugu actually speaks French. Sound him out for a while - and when you are convinced that his French is very poor, offer to completely re-write his introductory letter!

Bruin

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Apr 2007 Posts: 3123

My French doesn't extend much beyond schoolboi stuff either, but even I can tell that he has an OK command of the language. Exemptions are made for the usual lad spelling errors, but that is no different to a piece normally found in English.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 10 Mar 2009 Posts: 20

hehe i'll take your advice BRUIN. wonder what his next email will look like Wink

Posted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 8:39 pm

Other useful phrases are 'enculer' (literally 'to do in the ar*e', or 'to bu99er') and 'une pute' (derogatory term for a prostitute - 'a wh0re')

Some French online translators somehow miss these crucial words, and so they may be passed off as a name, eg Madame Enculeur de la Pute (Mrs Wh0re Bu99erer) - and if that doesn't set off alarm bells with a native French reader, what on earth will?!

I feel dirty now.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 10 Mar 2009 Posts: 20

so he changed from french to English... and it seems pretty good considering he said that "i understand a little english"

Quote:

Dear B3lla H4yw4rd,
I am sorry, I understand a little english. I am actting on the instructions of my late father, before he died, he told me to seek for a foreign assistance in your country to assist me to receive the said funds he left in a bank here and see me through as a guardian while I continue my education.

According to my late fathers will before he died, he instructed the bank that they should give me access to the funds until when I am 27years. I will be sending you the will in my next mail. I am 23 years old. I have talked to the bank director here and he informed me that I can appoint my guardian as beneficiary of the funds according to my late fathers will to assist me to invest the funds. I will like to know if you are in the position to invest the funds for me and your line of investment in your country.

Please provide your direct telephone number for us to discuss in breif.

I will be expecting your mail soonest.
Thanks,
3ff

i'll reply in broken english and add some french words in it too Smile

.. oh and he called me B3lla... lol when my name was J4nine....... i'll make it as if "B3lla" is J4nine's married daughter Razz

from B3lla

Quote:

Hello Mr. 3ff

I am sorry to hear about your father... i think there is a misunderstanding here though.. you see i think my Mother J4nin3 used my email to send you your reply when she was at my house a few days ago. I will forward your response to her email address. and have her contact you.

as i am 25 myself i can't help you but i think my mother will because she has a really soft heart and since i've gotten married and am living with my husband she is alone and problaly wishes for more company then the visits we make to her house.. so please wait for her email. she has a gmail.com email like mine and you will probably know it;s her from the message content because, unlike my english, her's is really broken but she can understand it well enough.

it was nice meeting you and give my regards to my mother

love,

B3ll4

this is from her mother and original sender

Quote:

Bonjour Monsieur Oua

I am sorry about the mix up with my daughter B3lla's email.([email protected]) I am sorry to hear about your father. I know english a little. je peut la lire mieux que je peut l'écrire. I am sure ma fille told you about herself and how she is married et je suis toute seul ici in my own house and i am very lonely.

merci bien for these emails. i hope tu peut comprendre my message. though je suis sure that you know enough french and english to know what i am saying.

envoyer moi une autre email sil-te plait. je les aime beaucoup

Avec Amour

Mme J4nine B0nne4mie

Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2009 8:16 pm

i respond to these saying Merde! je ne parle pas francais!
this confuses them straight away

Not quite a Newb Joined: 10 Mar 2009 Posts: 20

obviously this kid doesn't read his e-mails.. he sent B3lla this

Quote:

Hello B3ll4 H4yward,

I thank you very much for your mail, which I have read and understood. You know that my intention for writing you is to get help to enable me cross over to your country, after having transfered my late father's money. As it is, you are not interested in that,and i will like you to fotrward your contact to me.i mean your direct line for easy communication.when next i read from you i shall expanciate better for you.

thanks and god bless you.
I will be expecting your mail soonest.
Thanks,
3ff

so i sent him this from Bell4

Quote:

Dear mr 3ff

i don't believe you understand me it was my MOTHER who sent you the email. she told me that she sent you something. you should recognize her email address as [email protected]. she sent you an email please get back to her and not me in the future. thank you.

he hasn't sent anything to "my mother" yet.. well it's sunday so no wonder.. stupid lad..

Not quite a Newb Joined: 10 Mar 2009 Posts: 20

hey. so i got a reply on J4nine just copy-pasted what was sent o B3lla Smile

Quote:

Hello,
I thank you very much for your mail, which I have read and understood. You know that my intention for writing you is to get help to enable me cross over to your country, after having transfered my late father's money. As it is, you are not interested in that,and i will like you to fotrward your contact to me.i mean your direct line for easy communication.when next i read from you i shall expanciate better for you.
thanks and god bless you.
I will be expecting your mail soonest.
Thanks,
3ff

... expanciate...

i just sent something simple.. didn't know what to write

Quote:

Allo Mr. 3ff

Merci pour ton courriel. and for understanding about the mix up with my daughter's email address.

Avec Amour

J4nin3

wow my B3lla address is swamped with spam lol...

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 13 Mar 2009 Posts: 11

It seems that it doesn't matter now, but if you need I can help. French is my native language.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 10 Mar 2009 Posts: 20

oops i forgot about checking my email for a week.. lol got this email 7 days ago..

Quote:

Dear Janine B0nn3ami3 ,

i pray that Almigthy God will give you perfect health so that you can be of help to the beloves one.

Please Dear J4nine B0nne4mi3 , i will like you to read this word of God from the holy Bible Hebrew 11- verse 1 to the end.

I received your mail and the contents was well understood, Also I will like you to know that we have to proceed without wasting any more time since you are with me I will like you to hang all what ever you are doing for now and let us face this transaction with all our mind so that within few days you will call me for good news that you have received this money in an account which you will provide to the bank where my late father deposited this money.

I prayed for your always dear B0nn34mie, and I wish to meet you sooner in your country to start a new life together with you, because I am suffering down here in this country without nobody helping me, no father, no mother, no brother, no sister, no relatives, no friends. Dear B0nne4mi3, I must tell you that you're the only person I have right now in this Earth and I am begining to get in love with you. Please consider my bad situation and help me out for you will gain it ok. i was in the college school.

The interconnectivity of this day has made the world a tiny village, hence one could easily discover another.I hope that my involving you in this transaction does not set you back from your very daily engagements,as you seem to be a very religous person.

This morning I was at the bank where my late father deposited this money as I have make you the Favour and the Beneficiary of this money. As you are already known that Am urgently in need for this money to be transfer into your account so that I will be coming to your country , and continue my education in one of the university there while this money will be wisely invested by you in the investment which you like and after the percentage of the total money transfer into your account which was instructed by my late father before his sudden death to compensate your effort input during this transaction, the profit that we make in the investment will be share between you and me.

Now the Director of the bank told me that they will like to hear from you on the phone to enable them to tell you their requirement to transfer this money into your account which you will provided to them. Please I will like you to call the bank immediately you received this mail and tell the bank director that you are calling on my behalf, with this statement the bank director will recognise you and tell you their requirement to enable them to transfer my late father's money into your account.

Here is the contact of the bank where my late father deposited this money for you to contact them immediately on my behalf...

Bank Name: Banque Atlantique
Bank Adresse: Avenue du Gernal de Gaulle,
Plateau 04, BP 1036, Abidjan 04 , Cte d'Ivoire
HOT LINE 00225 6668 4995 ext 121
Fax: 00225 20 21 6852
Attn Dr. K4bl4n D4v1d ( Managing Director )

Bank email: [email protected]

Meanwhile, I dont know you and you dont know me, we are doing this transaction based on trust and as a matter of decency, i will like to see thank you for your telephone number you said to me ok... for me to talk to you when necessary and pls l will fax you the relevant documents relating to this transaction and your picture for me to used it to recognise each other at your country airport , on my day of arrival in your country. and for more confidence and trust in this transaction.

I will be expecting your respond immediately as far as you are capable of handling this transaction as am too young to handle this huge amount of money which my late father left behind for me to live for the rest of my life.

Thanks once more and GOD Bless you and keep you safe for me till I come over to your country after this money is confirm in your account.
With Love,

3ff.

and 2 pictures of himself
http://i628.photobucket.com/albums/uu1/Blue0_0/effmyphoto1.jpg
http://i628.photobucket.com/albums/uu1/Blue0_0/effmyphoto2.jpg

Quote:

I must tell you that you're the only person I have right now in this Earth and I am begining to get in love with you. Please consider my bad situation and help me out for you will gain it ok. i was in the college school.

i lol'd

anyways my reply.

Quote:

ello Mr. 3ff

Je suis desole for not replying. mais j'ai ete malade for the past week and haven't had the chance or the energy to get on my computer. this isn't my computer by the way. i am at my daughter's house sending you this because i have been struck with a little misfortune. quand j'etais malade i forgot to pay my bill et le service a telephone as ete coupper. alors je ne peut pas t'appeler car ma telephone ne fonctione pas.

merci pour the bank's information. mais je suis confus as to what i should say when i write an email to them.

oh and thanks for the photos. they are very nice. I would like to know more bout you. you seem like a nice boy.

envoyez moi une autre courriel

Avec Amour

J4nin3

p.s. i hope that tu peut comprendre my bad anglais. please dit a moi si c'est correcte? should i get my daughter to fix my spelling?

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