The Barking Mad World of S3cur3 Shi3ld

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

419Eater is my life Joined: 19 Sep 2006 Posts: 416

Our lad is stranded in Abdijan in darkest Cote D'Ivoire on the safari from hell. He was counting on getting $5k via S3cur3 Shi3ld to help him out of this hole. The payment was supposed to have been arranged by a junior gman called Robbie (played by BluthBanana).

In this chat the lad's oga is played by me. I explain why the MTCN given by SS to the lad didn't work, and then coach him on how to pass the questions. It's a bit long-winded but worth the read if you are an SS aficianado. Very Happy

I posted this here so it didn't hijack our main safari thread.

Quote:

10:49 AM me: WHAT WAS THE PROCEDURE [at SS]?
dickboi: i followed all the steps and it gave me a control number
me: "THE STEPS"???
10:50 AM dickboi: and i couldnt claim the money with that number
it is a set of questionaires i answered
and yet the final information they gave could not help me collect the 5K rob sent
me: WHAT SORT OF QUESTIONS?
10:51 AM dickboi: my name
etc
other general question that concerns human life
me: OMG - LIKE WHAT?
10:52 AM dickboi: who is your best friend?
do you like surfing?
etc
now I have completed the set of questions again and here is the final answer it gave me

[he quotes from the site]

10:53 AM unfortunately the number is not correct at Western Union so I think Rob may be wrong
10:54 AM me: OMG - THIS IS NOTHING TO DO WITH ROB! LISTEN CLOVE YOU HAVE TO THINK HARD. HOW MANY OF THE QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS CAN YOU REMEMBER?
dickboi: it has everything to do with Rob
10:55 AM if the payment details he inputted was correct I should not have had problem at Western Union
Now you want to start your attitude that gets me very angry
10:56 AM is telling you what questions and answers i submitted to the secure site that is the problem now or getting the right information
me: CLOVE YOU SHOULD BE ANGRY - WITH YOURSELF! THIS IS IMPORTANT!! HOW MANY OF THE QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS CAN YOU REMEMBER?
10:58 AM dickboi: That cant change anything
unless you have your IT people who wrote the program
10:59 AM me: YOU SEE I THINK YOU MAY HAVE FALLEN FOR THE OLD CIA S3Qs ROUTINE (OR WHATEVER THEY CALL IT NOW). IT IS ONE OF THE OLDEST TRICKS IN THE BOOK. BEEN AROUND SINCE THE DAYS OF MCCARTHY - THEY USED IT TO DETECT HIDDEN COMMIES - YOU KNOW, THE YELLOW PERIL AND ALL THAT.
JUST TELL ME A FEW MORE OF THE QUESTIONS
11:00 AM dickboi: how do you childproof a bathroom
that I can remember now
and my answer was. taking all safety precautions possible
11:02 AM me: AS EACH NEW QUESTION CAME UP, DID YOU THINK "WTF HAS THAT GOT TO DO WITH MY $5K?"
dickboi: Nope I only know there were security questions and I answered them honestly yet the payment information they gave was wrong at western union
11:04 AM me: YOU DICKBRAIN!!! BY ANSWERING THEM HONESTLY, YOU HAVE AS GOOD AS SENT THEM AN E-MAIL SAYING "DON'T PAY ME THIS MONEY - I AM A FRAUD STAR!"
11:05 AM dickboi: This question doesnt have to do with A4LA or Rob
this is just some personal questions
me: THAT'S THE ONLY LOGIC IN THE QUESTIONS - THEY ARE SUBLIMIN4L ENTR4PMENT QUESTIONS, DESIGNED TO FIND OUT ABOUT YOUR TRUE PERSONALITY AND MOTIVES.
11:06 AM dickboi: I understand but I am not stupid you know
me: WHY THE HELL DO YOU THINK THEY WERE ASKING YOU ABOUT BATHROOM SECURITY?!?!?!?!?
11:07 AM dickboi: that is their own problem
whatever question they ask doesnt make them term me as a fraud star
me: WRONG!!!!
dickboi: I cant be stupid to answer to question that can be implicating
11:08 AM me: OH YES YOU CAN!!
dickboi: I am no fool
me: WORDS FAIL ME...
dickboi: I dont quite agree with that
11:09 AM me: SO WHERE IS YOUR $5K THEN, EINSTEIN?
dickboi: Rob is the sender so he can get me the details
11:10 AM its as simple as abc
instead of dealing with a stupid security website
yet they couldnt give me the correct data
me: ROB NOW NEEDS TO SET UP A COMPLETELY NEW TRANSACTION. FROM A DIFFERENT COMPUTER. DIFFERENT AMOUNT, DIFFERENT PAYEE. AND YOU NEED TO ANSWER THE QUESTIONS AS IF YOU WERE NOT A FRAUD STAR.
11:14 AM dickboi: i dont think there should be problem with the control number unless it was his mistake filing the security website infp
11:15 AM me: YOUR ANSWERS PROBABLY GENERATED AN ALERT CODE FOR THE BANK EMPLOYEES. SOUNDS LIKE YOU WERE LUCKY NOT TO BE ARREESTED! LISTEN - I KNOW HOW THESE TESTS WORK. THEY DETECT FOR SUBLIMINAL CONNECTIONS. QUESTIONS LOOK LIKE THEY ARE NOT RELATED BUT THEY ARE. THEY BUILD UP A COMPLEX PSYCHOLOGICAL PICTURE. TELL ME - HOW MANY DID YOU ANSWER? I BET IT WAS AT LEAST 75.
11:17 AM dickboi: the questions were up to 40, not up to 75
the questions were mainly on if i hqve been convicted on a crime and if i know anyone involved in criminal activities
11:18 AM and i said no and that i am not involved in anything illegal
does that suppose to alert the bank that i am a fraud star?
they have no way to detect that i am indulge in any illegal businesses
this is one fact you must know
I am no chicken brain
me: IT'S NOT JUST WHAT YOU SAY, IT'S HOW YOU SAY IT!! YOU MENTION 40 QUESTIONS - THEY MUST HAVE MADE THE QUESTIONS MORE EFFECTIVE THAN THEY WERE BEFORE. I REMEMBER BACK IN THE 1980s I WAS TRYING TO GET INTO THE USA ON A FORGED PASSPORT. THOSE BASTARDS INTERROGATED ME FOR 2 HOURS. THEY WERE WEARING IMMIGRATION UNIFORMS BUT I KNEW THEY WERE CIA. THEY ASKED ME ALL THESE STUPID QUESTIONS. I KNEW THEY WERE TRYING TO TRICK ME, BUT I DIDN'T KNOW HOW. THINGS LIKE "COULD A RABBIT BEAT A MINK AT CHESS?" AND "WHAT MAKES CHEESE CHEESY" AND "IF I HAVE 420 OREOS AND I SEND ONE OF THEM INTO SPACE, HOW MANY AM I LEFT WITH?" - THAT SORT OF SHIT. BUT DO YOU KNOW HOW I GOT AWAY WITH IT CLOVE? I SAID TO MYSELF, "STAY IN CHARACTER, CHARLES". MY CHARACTER WAS A WEALTHY PHILANTHROPIST ON HIS WAY TO FOUND A HOSPITAL FOR CHILDREN WITH URINARY INFECTIONS. SO I STUCK TO THAT CHARACTER THROUGHOUT THE INTERROGATION. I ANSWERED EVERY QUESTION AS THOUGH I WERE A MAN OF GOD - NOT "HONESTLY*, BUT *IN CHARACTER. THAT IS WHAT YOU MUST DO CLOVE.
11:26 AM DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
11:27 AM dickboi: Yes Sir
me: GREAT!
dickboi: But if you were in Bernard Macdoff position what would you have done?
11:28 AM to escape lots of counts on him etc
me: GOOD QUESTION. TIME FOR SOME COACHING, METHINKS!
11:29 AM CLOVE - I WANT YOU TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS AS YOU WOULD IF YOU WERE BEING HONEST. THEN I WILL TELL YOU HOW YOU SHOULD ANSWER THEM. OK?
dickboi: OK
11:30 AM me: GREAT. ANSWER THIS HONESTLY (IE AS YOU WOULD HAVE ANSWERED THE QUESTIONS ON THE WEBSITE). "ARE HIGH OIL PRICES A GOOD THING?"
11:31 AM dickboi: I don't think it is nice at all because not all citizens can cope in such high priced condition
11:32 AM that is what I am going to answer
me: OK - NEXT ONE: "CAN A WORM EAT ITSELF?"
dickboi: Of course not. It"s ridiculous:
Or I had say that makes no sense
or a simple NO answer
11:33 AM me: OK. "WHY DID THE ROMANS FAIL TO SUSTAIN THEIR EMPIRE?"
dickboi: I have no idea
that is my answer
I wont answer to what I dont know
11:34 AM me: FAIR ENOUGH. WHAT ABOUT "HOW ATTRACTIVE IS MICHELLE OBAMA?"
11:35 AM dickboi: I think she is a dark pretty queen but I havent seen her in the flesh. I have only seen her on TVs
that would be my answer
11:36 AM me: THANK YOU CLOVE. JUST GIVE ME A SECOND AND I WILL REVIEW YOUR ANSWERS.
dickboi: ok
11:38 AM me: RIGHT. WHAT EMERGES HERE IS ACTUALLY 100% CONSISTENT WITH THE CLOVE THAT I HAVE COME TO KNOW SO WELL. THESE ARE THE ANSWERS OF A MAN WITH A PROPENSITY TO LIE AND EVADE - TO ADPAT HIS BEHAVIOUR TO THE SHORT-TERM EXIGIENCIES OF THE SITUATION. AND THAT IS PROBABLY WHY THEY REFUSED THE TRANSACTIONS. NOW - WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO TELL YOU HOW TO FIX THAT PROBLEM?
11:39 AM dickboi: Ok go ahead
I am listening Sir
11:41 AM me: GREAT. WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO IS TO CHOOSE A SINGLE CHARACTER TO PLAY - BUT IT HAS TO BE A GOOD, TRUSTWORTHY, MORALLY UPSTANDING PERSON. MAYBE THE PASTOR OF A CHURCH, OR A GRANDMOTHER WHOSE 10 GRANDCHILDREN HAVE JUST BEEN MASSACRED BY A RAMPAGING FUNDAMENTALIST.
HAVE YOU CHOSEN SOMEONE YET?
11:43 AM dickboi: Pastor will be fine
11:44 AM me: OK. NOW I WILL ASK THE QUESTIONS AGAIN - ONLY THIS TIME, ANSWER THEM AS A PASTOR WOULD. ADD A LITTLE BIT OF DETAIL WHICH CONVINCES THEM THAT YOU REALLY ARE A PASTOR. OK?
11:45 AM SO - "ARE HIGH OIL PRICES A GOOD THING?"
dickboi: OK
11:48 AM The world is becoming a very cruel place and high oil prices are as a result of bad governance. As a pastor, it is my responsibility to commit such adversity in my prayers so the good lord can intercede. Really high oil prices doesn't help any nation where her citizens per capital income level is low. Once again, I pray that the good lord can assuage for the much suffering such inevitable effects can cause to the citizenry
11:49 AM me: THAT IS QUITE BRILLIANT CLOVE! CAN YOU SEE THE DIFFERENCE ALREADY? WELL DONE YOU! OK - NOW HOW ABOUT "CAN A WORM EAT ITSELF?"
11:50 AM CLUE: MAYBE THE WORM IS A SYMBOL OF MAN'S ESSENTIAL CORRUPTION?
CORPORATE GREED...
11:51 AM dickboi: OK
THANKS FOR YOUR ENCOURAGEMENT
AND THANKS FOR YOUR COACHING
me: IT'S A PLEASURE!
11:52 AM dickboi: Now I am going to answer to the question
me: lower case though, please
dickboi: Yeah I understand the rule

6 minutes

11:59 AM dickboi: Warm are great anomalies that has eaten deep in the heart of man, especially if he isn't godly. The world is corrupt because we lack heavenly guidance or counselling. You see it is very possible for a warm to eat up itself because in this world a lot of us are controlled by devil. The bible says RESIST THE DEVIL AND HE SHALL FLEE. So if we can resist the devil and work in accordance with the divine laws of god we will be just fine. The issue of warm eating up itself is a typical example of inhumane characteristic in man such as selfishness, tyanny, corporate greed on the part of our leaders, inequality just name it. As long as we partner with God we wont experience any menace epitomy to warm eating up itself which are satanic influences
12:01 PM me: CLOVE THAT BROUGHT TEARS TO MY EYES... QUITE LOVELY! NOW HOW ABOUT "WHY DID THE ROMANS FAIL TO SUSTAIN THEIR EMPIRE?"
12:03 PM dickboi: ok I am getting to write shortly on that now
12:07 PM sorry I lost my connection for a moment
12:08 PM me: DO CARRY ON...

5 minutes

12:13 PM dickboi: Among the romans ever lived where the Jewish whose tradition are likes of Satan himself. How ever can there be peace or unity when there is no love? In short the problem of disunity which is a social vice is the major cause of romans not been able to have their empire. A lot of the roman leaders have corruption and deceit in their blood so that is another problem
12:14 PM This may not be a very good answer but I guess it is somehow ok
12:16 PM me: THAT WILL DO FINE CLOVE. I LIKE THE WAY YOU LINK IT TO JEWISH HISTORY TOO. OK - FINAL QUESTION (AND MAYBE THE TRICKIEST): "HOW ATTRACTIVE IS MICHELLE OBAMA?"

5 minutes

12:21 PM me: TOUGH ONE, ISN'T IT!
12:24 PM dickboi: Attractiveness is the solution to American wildest dream of a great nation and economy. What is more important is her heart and type of thinking- her plans as the first lady to support her husband the very first Black African President to revive or stimulate the US economy. The bible says the beauty of a woman lies in her heart. So definitely if Michelle has a pure heart fill of love and in the interest of the nation they are serving I do believe they can effect a positive change in the history of America. Physical attractions similar to paintings to a building. They all fade with time. But good characters or attitude never fail. As they say good name is better than Gold or Silver. Of course if there leadership roles impact positively the lives of the entire US citizenry their name will leave for eternity. Finally, I do believe as an upstanding Christian, not just as a pastor, that we need the pure attractions of the heart to work, not the physical attractions that are usually embellished by all form of human cruelties etc
NOT
Attracti:::::::: is NOT
read above
12:25 PM Attractiveness is NOT solution to
12:26 PM Emil is online
12:27 PM me: CLOVE THAT IS JUST SENSATIONAL! LISTEN - WE'VE GOT NO TIME TO WASTE. I WILL WRITE TO ROBBIE NOW, TELL HIM THAT YOU ARE NOW OFFICIALLY HIS BOSS, AND ORDER HIM TO SET UP A COMPLETELY NEW SECURE PAYMENT FOR $10,000 THIS TIME. WELL DONE YOU!! C

Edited to make it very long, rather than incredibly long! Embarassed

Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 2:50 pm

Sheer comic genius Ninastian! Is there even room at $$ for him to put in such long answers? I wonder, for the rest of this guy's life, whenever he is stressed out, if he's going to start talking in a high squeaky voice.

dickboi wrote:

Now you want to start your attitude that gets me very angry Laughing

Exactly!

Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 3:21 pm

Excellent chat

however ......

I need to know the answer to the Cheese question Smile

Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 3:29 pm

Unbelievable. Just....un-f'ing-believable. Who ARE you, and why are you not making millions writing for sitcoms and famous comediannes? I literally have tears pouring down my face... Laughing

There are just no words for the comic brilliance...I'm dumbstruck!

Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 3:41 pm

Ninastian, I certainly hope you get as much fun out of chatting with dickboi as I get out of reading them!!! Laughing

They are some of the funniest things ever posted!! Thanks for sharing them with us!

How do you do it? Very Happy

Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 3:57 pm

He completed his first SS transfer TWICE this morning. I assume he did it once and got the number, then came back and did it again when they told him at WU that the number was wrong. Let's see what he had to say...

Quote:

Session starttime: 2009-03-20 01:43:12(GMT-7)
Session endtime: 2009-03-20 02:02:10(GMT-7)
Answers: 50

Q: Have you used Secure Shield service before?
A: Nope. I havent
Q: If you answered yes to previous question, how many times?
A: Nope. I havent
Q: Have you received other type of electronic transfers before?
A: Nope. I havent
Q: Why are you receiving these funds?
A: To cover bills
Q: Are the funds you intend to receive related to any criminal activity?
A: Nope. Not at all
Q: Will the funds you receive be used for any criminal activities?
A: Nope. Not in such manner
Q: Do you have criminal record or are you being investigated for any crime?
A: Nope. That far from it
Q: Do you know anyone who is connected to organized crime?
A: Never. Not in my book
Q: Do you know anyone who is being investigated for a crime?
A: Nope. I dont
Q: Do you know anyone who has been convicted for a crime?
A: Never I don't
Q: Is it better to be physically attractive or intelligent?
A: Intelligence is beter
Q: How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
A: I haven't at all
Q: Seen Titanic?
A: Only on a movie
Q: If so, how often?
A: Very rarely
Q: How many piercings/tattoos do you have?
A: I have none sorry
Q: How much would you like to earn?
A: Maybe a few more thousands a year
Q: If so, what are they?
A: Maybe 30,000 additional
Q: Do you think that the Internet usage is an anti-social activity?
A: I don't think so
Q: Do you think governments have the right to censor the Internet?
A: Probably it just depends
Q: Would it be practical or flashy?
A: Maybe not I can tell
Q: What did you think your life would be like when you were older?
A: I might be very patient
Q: What are you doing tonight?
A: Cooking dinner for my family
Q: Do you always lock your house? How about your car?
A: Both of them but sometimes I get tired doing so
Q: What weapons was the Philistine giant Goliath carrying when he was slain by David?
A: I have to read the bible first
Q: Has a tsunami ever hit the area where you live?
A: Nope I don't ever wish for that
Q: What traditions have been passed down in your family?
A: Some customs I cant not explain here
Q: Were there many children in your family?
A: We are just 12 in all
Q: What is the punishment for murder in your country?
A: Capital punishment
Q: In which year did Captain Scott reach the South Pole?
A: I dont think I can remember
Q: What can be done to prevent bathroom accidents?
A: Cautiousness and anything else as safety
Q: What are some ways we can wear words and slogans? i.e. badges, clothes, hats etc.
A: I am not savy in that area
Q: Do you believe in aliens?
A: I dont really know what I believe in
Q: Can you sleep during the flight?
A: Yes why not
Q: What annoys you about driving a car?
A: Stiffness and burden
Q: What is the US state capital of Washington?
A: Olympia
Q: What dangers can be found outside the home in the yard that can cause accidents?
A: Banana splits and other careless things
Q: How is your best friend?
A: He is a nice guy very caring
Q: Nicknames? What are they?
A: Honery and Bull
Q: What is the definition of honesty?
A: To be plain and truthful
Q: What is a charter flight?
A: Hiring a flight I guess
Q: What can a parent do to childproof the yard?
A: I have no idea sorry
Q: Do you believe in aliens?
A: I dont know what I believe in
Q: Furthest place you ever traveled?
A: I have been to Antartica
Q: What are some of the negatives about being beautiful?
A: You become very boastful
Q: Does your job pay a good salary?
A: Not really but good
Q: What time do your start and finish work?
A: I start around 8am and finish at 6pm
Q: Do you think your company is well run?
A: Yes very much so
Q: Who painted The Monarch of the Glen?
A: I have no f*cking idea
Q: How would you describe yourself?
A: I am very loving kind and generous
Q: Would you consider the military as a career choice? Why or why not?
A: Military career can be challenging but it pays off I like it

Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 4:04 pm

And just to keep the two sessions separate I'm going to indulge in some serial posting to add the second one Wink

Quote:

Session starttime: 2009-03-20 03:22:38(GMT-7)
Session endtime: 2009-03-20 03:51:03(GMT-7)
Answers: 50

Q: Have you used Secure Shield service before?
A: Nope. I havent
Q: If you answered yes to previous question, how many times?
A: Nope. I havent
Q: Have you received other type of electronic transfers before?
A: Nope. I havent
Q: Why are you receiving these funds?
A: to cover bills
Q: Are the funds you intend to receive related to any criminal activity?
A: Nope. I am not in involved in that
Q: Will the funds you receive be used for any criminal activities?
A: Nope. For honest cause
Q: Do you have criminal record or are you being investigated for any crime?
A: Nope. I havent
Q: Do you know anyone who is connected to organized crime?
A: Nope. Far from it
Q: Do you know anyone who is being investigated for a crime?
A: Nope. Not at all
Q: Do you know anyone who has been convicted for a crime?
A: Nope. I never have any such person
Q: How often do you use the internet?
A: Maybe twice daily
Q: How can the Internet be improved?
A: I am not an engineer sorry
Q: What are some reasons people use illegal drugs?
A: Frustration is example one
Q: What causes Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome?
A: I have no faintest idea
Q: At what age do people usually retire in your country?
A: maybe 60
Q: Who (at 2008) plays Doctor Gregory House in the TV series House?
A: I have no idea sorry
Q: Furthest place you ever traveled?
A: Antartica is it
Q: Who is your hero/role model?
A: Sir Charles the drunkard
Q: What plans have you made for your retirement?
A: To enjoy life at fullest in a cruise vacation
Q: What kind of problems does dishonesty cause?
A: Disharmony, hatred and war
Q: What are some jobs that you think would be fun?
A: Playing golf and go fishing
Q: What would you do if you found the wallet of your next-door neighbor who you hated?
A: I am going to return it to him
Q: Been afraid of the dark?
A: I don't think so
Q: What annoys you about driving a car?
A: Rough driving of other people
Q: Do you think that dreams can help us solve our problems?
A: Partially it does
Q: These were submitted as possible job interview questions.
A: And what should I do
Q: Is there a problem with organized crime and/or gangs where you live?
A: I have no idea
Q: What are the sites you most commonly access?
A: Yahoo is it
Q: What problems do you encourter when you are not truthful?
A: Disharmony and negative attitude
Q: If you could say a sentence which the whole world could hear, what would you say?
A: Peace and freedom
Q: What was the first thing you thought this morning?
A: Praying to God
Q: Who have you been honest with?
A: I have been honest with everyone
Q: Your dream vacation?
A: Hawaii is ideal
Q: How many times have you been promoted?
A: Twice at work
Q: Who?s birthday is coming up next?
A: Next month of April
Q: Does it make you angry when motorists drive too closely behind you?
A: Sometimes it does
Q: What lessons did you learn from this time in your life?
A: I learnt to be very honest dealing with associates
Q: When do plan to retire?
A: Some 10 years
Q: Why do you need more than one e-mail address?
A: for personal issues not having to contradict business issues
Q: What does TGV most commonly stand for?
A: I have no idea
Q: Ever had braces?
A: I dont think so
Q: What kind of things would you like to buy with your money?
A: Good things of life
Q: How about a truck driver?
A: I dont have much to say about that
Q: How do you feel about spending time in rush hours?
A: it is not always good to rush things
Q: What can a parent do to childproof a bathroom?
A: safety measures is a good starting point
Q: Who did you miss?
A: I miss going back home now
Q: How do you define beauty, using your own words?
A: Beauty lies in the heart simple
Q: Made a web page?
A: Nope I havent
Q: Would you talk to a ghost?
A: Nope. I dare not
Q: Can you surf on a tsunami?
A: Nope. I dont think I have any reason to do that

Now that he's been trained I wonder how his next two SS sessions will turn out Twisted Evil

Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 4:06 pm

Quote:

Q: What are some reasons people use illegal drugs?
A: Frustration is example one

I imagine he's considering drugs right about now. This can't be his "Pastor" persona?

Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 4:15 pm

@bohigal - Nope, that was his last attempt. I just sent him two $5k payments... he literally just started on the first. I may have made them 75 and 100 questions each now, though Embarassed

Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 7:16 pm

Here is his latest attempt at retrieving his MTCN. I like how he stopped once he realized that he'd answered more than 50 questions. Laughing

Quote:

Session starttime: 2009-03-20 09:06:03(GMT-7)
Session endtime: 2009-03-20 11:38:19(GMT-7)
Answers: 51

Q: Have you used Secure Shield service before?
A: This is very new to me. But I hope it is very secure and free from Internet hackers. One of my church members suffered a lot in the hand of hackers. They even withdrew all the monies in her account in that process. Maybe I can recommend your secure electronic services to every member of my church.

Q: If you answered yes to previous question, how many times?
A: I just said I am trying this out for the first time and I hope it works great. it is not really safe to exchange vital information on the Internet unless one uses a secure "security shield" as yours. I just hope it works fine. And if it does, I am going to strongly recommend it to every member of my church.

Q: Have you received other type of electronic transfers before?
A: I have received Western Union payments as charity donations and tithe payment from church members but I haven't received the information sent through secured shield website as yours. I have recieved such classified information only through the e-mail.

Q: Why are you receiving these funds?
A: I am receiving this payment to buy food for the poor and needy, the destitute and the motherless babies in our church. We newly set up a foster home just to assist the less privileged and I do hope the good lord will reward us for our good/noble works. Miraculously, we receive cash donations and other gifts from members who care. The bible says " Givers never lack." As long as Children of God gives they will never lack that is what the bible says; not me.

Q: Are the funds you intend to receive related to any criminal activity?
A: This money is not related or intended for any criminal activity. It is strictly for a divine use and to serve the needs of the less privilege. As a pastor I frown greatly against all manners of criminal activities. All we can do is pray so that those involved in criminal activities can have a change of life and attitude and also turn to God. This is our prayers. The best life is in Christ because he is our Messiah, our light and shield.

Q: Will the funds you receive be used for any criminal activities?
A: This money won't ever be used for any criminal activities; they will be used for a godly and divine purpose so that the people of God can rejoice in His holy name for bringing solution to their prayers. Members who care brings forth donations.

Q: Do you have criminal record or are you being investigated for any crime?
A: I don't have any criminal record. As a pastor, abstinence from every sort of criminal activities is the best weapon to remain a true child of Christ. Also, I try to preach against the involvement of criminating activities to members every Sunday at church service. Sometimes during counselling session, I tell people the dangers involved in performing criminal acts. I am never investigated for a crime but my heart is as pure as a new born baby who knows no sin.

Q: Do you know anyone who is connected to organized crime?
A: I don't know anyone connected to organized crime in the physical. But I have read about the Hamas group in our dailies. I think they are involved in organized crime. BIG TIME. I can only pray that the good lord touch their hearts so they can have a change of attitude and follow his will as morally upstanding Christians do.

Q: Do you know anyone who is being investigated for a crime?
A: I have a member in my church; she is 81. She was convicted of murder- killing of her grandchild because they were at home in the day she died. I don't think she did it. The poor baby has some heart problem that killed her I guess. But investigation is continuing to the cause of her death. All I can do is pray for justice to reign. I don't think any of my members are killers. In every situation we need God against all forces both in human fashion and supernatural tendencies.

Q: Do you know anyone who has been convicted for a crime?
A: Yes a member of my church. I thought I explained that in my previous message. Anyway, I am going to repeat that again. Her name is Theresa Whitlock she is 81. She was convicted for murder- killing of her grandchild. I don't think she did it. Theresa and the poor kid were home together on the day she died. The kid has suffered some heart problems for a few years that must have killed her. I don't think Theresa at her old age could afford to kill anyone. She told me she could never do a thing like that and I believed her. Though, investigation is still continuing on the cause of the child's death. We have prayed about it and I have also prayed for the good lord to accept the gentle soul of the kid in his bosom. In summary, I don't think any of my church members are killers. They are god fearing people who would never kill anyone no matter the condition.

Q: Who fell out of the apple tree?
A: In every 12, there is bound to be a Judas. Such person who fell out of the apple tree is not meant to be trusted, she or he is a betrayal and a traitor whose heart is soiled with sin and all manner of evil. This kind of persons are everywhere even the bible told us so. I can only pray that the good lord turn them into good citizens. This includes our leaders; they have the same tendency of felling out of the apple tree. This is unjust- my bible tells me so. We need to live with peace, love, harmony and tolerate each other with open heart and love.

Q: Do you believe in aliens?
A: I believe in aliens who are rightheous in their attitude. One who evangelises and preach the good news. Infact my subordinate in the church is an alien. He is a very good Christian and very law abiding.

Q: If you saw an alien what do you would do?
A: I am going to embrace him or her if the situation calls for that. Otherwise I am going to welcome him or her and try to advise them to be good and law abiding citizens. And if possible I can begin to preach the good news to Him according to St John.

Q: Do you like someone?
A: I love everyone. I am not an enemy to anyone. Jesus Christ in his days never had any enemy yet they killed Him because of his love for mankind. My heart is full of love and I am very tolerating. If you clap me on the right cheek I am going to turn you the left. And in the end I am going to pray that the good lord speaks to you in His own special way for you may not know what you are doing/have done. Such attitude can make a sinner ask for forgiven from the lord and can repent of his sins.

Q: Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily?
A: I don't keep grudges- the bible condemns that vice. I am very tolerating. I try to make people understand things even if they do things annoying to me. It doesn't mean I am a saint, but I am trying to imitate Christ and live as he did. His heart was fool of love, peace and blessings.

Q: How might a family prepare for a tsunami emergency?
A: With God all things are possible. I am going to ask them to pray very fervently and believe strongly in God. If possible I am going to be the prayer leader. It is only an unbeliever that panics in the face of great danger and natural disaster as tsunami. I once prayed for a great tsunami emergency in Kenya and the good lord coverted it into light of peace.

Q: Played with Barbies?
A: I don't play with objects that might hurt me or anyone around me. I make sure it is not used to cause harm to anyone. Kids might use it for play thing so it is better to keep them far away from them.

Q: Are you happy with your life right now? Explain:
A: I am very happy with my life right now because I am a minister of God and I am helping thousands of people turn to God daily. they get to see me on TV, buy my CVs, DVDs and my books. Isn't that marvelous. The best life anyone can find happiness is living your life in Christ Jesus.

Q: If you were given the opportunity to be born again, how would you change how you lived?
A: I am a born again now and as the bible know it as the repentance of sins and turning to God. I have been born again since over 21 years now preaching salvation. I have converted thousands of souls it is better than how I might have lived in the past. Though, the only difference between the way I am now and before I became born again was the fact that I don't preach around the community as a true Christian. But as a pastor for over 21 years I have been doing that and it has given me more opportunity to get close to God.

Q: Do you have a car worth over $2,000?
A: I don't own a personal car. I use church car and mostly for church purposes. it is well over $ 2,000. I don't live a flabuoyant life. I am simple. I had rather give all my riches to the poor and needy than buy very expensive cars. I don't believing in living a quality life filled with luxury when a lot of people are suffering out there. That is not my nature. I am going to be a good christian and help the poor always.

Q: Who was the first pope?
A: Emperor Constantine was. In the Catholic faith, many believe is Simon Peter of Cephas

Q: What are some things that are considered unlucky?
A: In all situation, both in human life and in everything we do, you are unlucky without Christ. Your luck begins when you choose Christ as your personal lord and saviour.

Q: Does it upset you when you see people hitting children or dogs?
A: It is not good to hate children or dogs, the bible frown against that. But in our generation we do it to caution children and dogs so they know their actions is wrong but excessive hitting gets me upset. I won't sit back and watch that happen.

Q: Made a web page?
A: Yes trying to create a web page- a blog so all our members can interact and share their knowledge of Christ. That would be great thing to do, but we are still working on it.

Q: What should be done about football hooligans?
A: They should be advised NOT to disobey football rules and never do anything that will threaten the society. I can advise that we begin to organize a praying committee that can counsel this people to embrace moral conduct and not do otherwise. Some might change and if that happens a lot of them can begin to change. Before you know it, we are going to record a high mark in repentance rate.

Q: Did you ever go to camp?
A: Oh yes I organize prayer camps 5 times at least each year. The essence is to get people to come and experience a new life in Christ. Many souls are converted in the camping ground than even in our churches today. I must say organizing a camp is one of my best Christian teaching practice.

Q: How do you like your work?
A: I enjoy my job as a pastor. It gives me a deep sense of joy to see that a lot of souls are turning to God. To tell you what- that can go a long way in promoting world peace if we can live to tolerate each other and desist from war, hatred and disharmony.

Q: What do you do when you feel someone might be following you?
A: I try to meet them and speak to them. In most cases, I will share the biblical teachings with him or her. Though I have never had the feelings that anyone is following me. But should it happens I am going to turn around and meet him or her. Sometimes I feel the devil is the one following me because he doesn't like what I am doing. Satan is angry because I am winning soul for Christ. In some cases when I feel that way I pray against such thoughts.

Q: Do men and women use the internet for different purposes?
A: I think men and women use it for similar purposes.

Q: How do we stop young children from looking at Internet sites that have inappropriate content?
A: We caution them and let them know the dangers involved. One we have to make them understand how sinful it can be. The bible says if your eyes cause you to sin remove it. So this way if a child or children understand that their eyes can lead them to sin they will immediately abstain from it. Anohter way is blocking the programs they might advertise such inappropriate contents.

Q: What does an ecclesiophobic evangelist fear?
A: He should not need to fear anything. For instance, I am not afraid of anything even death as a pastor and an evangelist. I am always prepared- anyday and anytime. I only have fears for unbelievers. Sometimes I get to ask one question: " where do you end your eternity when we die?" definitely only a true believer will enjoy the rest of his days in heaven after being separated from his body. In all circumstances, I urge Christians to embrace Christ.

Q: How do you know if a beggar is a real beggar?
A: A beggar is someone who can't afford food but may have where to sleep. But a real beggar is someone who have neither a place to lay his head or food. In my estimation; I believe both are the same. My bible makes me understand that anyone in Christ is rich in faith and such faith is richer beyond a billionaires wildest dream of financial accomplishment. Let's turn to God and enjoy his riches and not become beggars.

Q: Have you ever seen a female pilot?
A: I know female pilots exist but I havent had any close encounter with anyone since my years in the pastorship profession. The fact that a female pilot exist doesnt matter what matters is whether she has the interest of passengers on board at heart. Their safety should be her utmost priority and must do everything possible to protect them. And that reminds me, our job is like a female pastor trying to win souls for Christ safeguard them in the event of plane crash.

Q: Drank?
A: Yes I drink lemon juice preferaby. Infact I took it a few moments ago. I don't drink alcohols, liqeurs and wines. My bible forbids that somehow: it becomes sin if you take to excessive alcohols.

Q: Do you plan on retiring? If so, when? How do you feel about it?
A: I am not going to retire as a pastor. I am going to pastor all my life. The end of my pastorship comes when I cease to breathe. I wont stop my evangelizing work unless the world becomes a better place filled with believers.

Q: Do people spend too much time and money on beauty?
A: I think so, but none of my church members does that anymore. Why should we spend money and time on beauty that will fade by a mere illness? It is better to spend, money, time and energy on the things of Christ- they are everlasting.

Q: Do you think that dreams can help us solve our problems?
A: Yes it can if we speak to our lord in our dreams He can bring us solutions to our problems. That is self-fulfilling miracles in partnership with Christ.

Q: What are some of the good points?
A: Trying to be a good Christian- a morally upstanding Christian. A law abiding citizen who frowns against all manner of evil deed. Praying and reading the bible always. And trying to preach good news of Christ to unbelievers that are some of the good points I can tell as a good christian and a pastor. I usually tell my members the same thing.

Q: What plans have you made for your retirement?
A: I don't have anything as retirement in my book. I am going to pastor all the days of my life. My retirement on earth comes when I die. Then I can enjoy ALL the reward of my labour in heaven.

Q: Where?s your favorite place to be?
A: Heaven is the best place and favorite place I had like to be. Where else is better. Earth? Of course not.

Q: Do you think that it is a good or bad habit for young people to play computer games?
A: It is not a bad habit for youngsters to play games they love. It will be splendid if such computer games have teaching of the bible like the Goliath and David encounter. I am sure that can deepen their knowlegde about Christ.

Q: What is the word used to describe an animal/plant that is both male and female?
A: I think it is "unisex".

Q: Do you believe that dead people come back to life as ghosts?
A: My bible tells me that is not true. It's only superstitous belief by sinners or those Jewish unbelievers. Let"s don't think like sinners and reason like them. I wish I preach the good news to every nation and make them understand how good it feels to be in Christ.

Q: Do you believe in coincidences? Why or why not?
A: Coincidences happen in life situations. That is true, but I am not going to say they happen because we desire it. Only God make things happen and that is why we need to pray and ask that he directs our pathway so don't experience dangers in coincidential circumstances.

Q: Who created the UK TV spoof 007 character Basildon Bond?
A: To be very honest, I have no idea. I can answer to what I know and not otherwise.

Q: Have you ever been a volunteer at a hospital?
A: I have been. Some of my church programs involve volunteering at hospitals and Charities home. We ensure the sick have peace in Christ apart from making them feel good and not so much pains. In some cases, I get to feed very sick old people who have strokes and cant afford to feed by themselves. it can be a lot fun to be with them and pray with them. God rewards abundantly when you care about them than you care for yourself.

Q: Is it ever all right to give only a partial truth?
A: it is not right to give partial truth. It is best to give the whole truth. The bible says only truth can set you free. I would never tell anyone partially truth but tell them everything they needed to know. Jesus Christ in his days never conceal truth, whether a part of it or whole, it tells us the whole truth and it is so pronounced in the bible.

Q: Which college courses are required for you dream job?
A: My dream job is to win souls in every nations and beyond. Regarding college course, I don't think I shall have to return to school.

Q: When is honesty difficult?
A: Honesty should not be difficult for a child of God. Only unbelievers might think it is difficult. A true believer will tell the truth even if it hurts. I would rather say the truth and die than live to lie. It is against my biblical doctrine of Christ Jesus. Anyone is honest is truthful.

Q: Do you think the government should give money to homeless people?
A: It is better for government to provide them with free housing if possible. Giving them money might make them lazy. It is better if government can provide them jobs. Our foster home currently house over 210 homeless people. With support from our members and other parties who care we can do more; what the government ought to do. But I do believe we are still the government. We need to help ourselves and not wait for government to do things for us.

Q: Who was president of the U.S. when Uncle Sam first got a beard?
A: I have no idea who Uncle Sam is. This question I am afraid is confusing.

Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 7:21 pm

Omg I didn't think he'd really do it. Pissed off steaming mugu had to pretend to be a pious pastor for two and a half hours! Laughing

Quote:

All we can do is pray so that those involved in criminal activities can have a change of life and attitude

Turning into a beggar is a change of life. Our prayers is answered! A-men!

Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 7:37 pm

Wow. Mind boggling. Just....f'ing.....mind boggling. Shocked

This is by far the most gullible lad I have ever heard of. I can't even imagine what it must be like inside that head of his.

Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 7:57 pm

Apparently he took "honest" to mean "not insanely long."

Not quite a Newb Joined: 12 Jan 2009 Posts: 55

Haha I love those longer responses he gave. Just what does he have against playing with barbies anyway?

And he has taught us all that banana splits can be found in yards everywhere and are easy to slip and fall on (much more so than a banana PEEL)

Trophy Videos · Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 8:15 pm

Quote:

Sometimes I feel God is the one following me because he doesn't like what I am doing.

Fixed a typo. Laughing

This guy has devils in his head, that's what's inside there.

Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 8:25 pm

If he starts to believe he's really a pastor, maybe he'll be ripe pickin's for starting a new church in his new permanent home, Cote D'Ivoire...

Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 8:28 pm

That was lad-tacular. I loved all his answers. Laughing

Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 9:46 pm

Two more tries... Laughing

Quote:

Session starttime: 2009-03-20 12:20:40(GMT-7)
Session endtime: 2009-03-20 13:15:28(GMT-7)
Answers: 35

Q: Have you used Secure Shield service before?
A: I haven't used this service before. But I trust that Secured Shield service will be truly secured.

Q: If you answered yes to previous question, how many times?
A: I haven't used it before. I am trying it out for the first time. I pray it is reliable as someone recommend that I use it to receive confidential payment information.

Q: Have you received other type of electronic transfers before?
A: Yes I have received payment via Western Union before but it isnt by this means; the details is always sent to my e-mail so I can retrive it from there. This is the only way I know and have received payment of this sort.

Q: Why are you receiving these funds?
A: I need to purchase food items for motherless babies, the poor and needy and destitute in our charity home. As a pastor we have a separate building for foster services and to help promote the good services of heaven.

Q: Are the funds you intend to receive related to any criminal activity?
A: This funds are purely for divine purposes, and not for any criminal activity. It is a cash donation from a member who care about the poor and needy in our church premises.

Q: Will the funds you receive be used for any criminal activities?
A: This funds will be used in the service ang glory of God. Part of it will be used to provide purchase church equipments like piano and worn-out guitars.

Q: Do you have criminal record or are you being investigated for any crime?
A: I don't have any criminal record and not being investigated for any crime. I have been leading all my life as a pastor and a law abiding citizen of my country. Besides, the bible condemns all manner of criminal activities. I also advise my church members to desist from any criminal activities or incriminating factors too.

Q: Do you know anyone who is connected to organized crime?
A: I don't know anyone who is involved in organized crime in person. But I have read about those nasty societies on our dailies like the Hamas group. I pray that the good lord can touch them and make them desist from such immoral acts.

Q: Do you know anyone who is being investigated for a crime?
A: Yes one of my church members, Mrs. Theresa Whitlock. She is 81. Her granddaughter died while they were in the house together. So they believed she killed her. I know Theresa will not do a thing like that. She is a very loving and God-fearing woman. The mother of the child report her so I pray that justice will take its full cause. Though the girl suffered some terrible heart problems so many years ago- maybe that killed her. I think only God can vindicate the just that is why we need to pray in all circumstances.

Q: Do you know anyone who has been convicted for a crime?
A: Yes someone I know during my days in the seminary school. He was convicted for killing his wife. He came home one night drunk so he hit her with a sharp object and she died instantly. Such actions was the doing of Satan. The bible says if you resist the devil he will flee. Prayers help us a lot and it does prevent some of this evil things from happening.

Q: Hiked up a mountain?
A: I haven't but I have been up the mountain to do some prayer devotions. Like going to a pilgramage on mountains like Abraham did in the bible.

Q: How many cars have you owned?
A: I don't own any cars. We have just two buses for church uses. The buses are strictly used for divine work not for pleasure

Q: How can you tell when people are being truthful with you?
A: Truth doesn't show in the face it is revealed in the heart. This I know as a Christian,not just as a pastor. Clear conscience they say fears no accusation. Anyone who is truthful has no reason to fear. I know when people are being truthful because my heart tells me so. I am being led by the holy spirit. This is a scared information I ought not reveal on a webpage. Maybe if you get a chance to visit my church I am going to teach someone how the godly spirit works.

Q: What does pet peeve mean?
A: I know what pet means but together "pet peeve" sound like something new to me.

Q: Have you been in love?
A: I fell in love with my wife because the holy spirit was pleased with my decision. We have been married now for over 21 years and she is very loving, God-fearing and kind. She helps in church duties. Ever since I married to her I have never been in love emotionally. But today I am in love with my bible and I do want everyone to embrace Christ he is the best love that abounds on Earth.

Q: What kinds of crime are most common in your country?
A: Bulgary and robbery is the most common and this is perpetrated by frustrated youngsters. In some cases, men. We can only pray for the good lord to convert them and make them desist from such immoral practice. This is part of my job to ensure thousands of unbelievers some of which indulge in all manner of criminal practices to change their evil ways and begin to lead true example of a born again.

Q: Type of music you dislike most?
A: I don't dislike any music, but I play only Christian vibes. Also I ask people to listen to word of God on their tape, radio engines. It is very heart warming when you listen to Christian musics they can be soul lifting and inspiration. That is what the food the word of God can give-fulfillment

Q: What is your favorite kung fu movie?
A: I don't watch those kind of movies. This is strictly Christian counterpart. Kung fu movies breed all kind of criminal acts in our society today. Let's put our hands together to stop crime and not support them by producing dangerous movies.

Q: Can you recall any strange or unexplained events in your life?
A: That I almost hit by a truck but the good lord saved me because he needed me to go and preach his words. It doesn't mean I was careless on the pedestrian walk area, the point is that the driver lost his brake and he aimed at me but I jumped into a small lake so I was saved. Thank god:

Q: Would you like to go back on this farm job? If not , why?
A: My farm job is preaching. The more soul I win the better for me. In other words; it means a great number of harvest to me and to the good lord. That is very pleasantry to God:

Q: What is another word for tsunami?
A: Earthquake

Q: Are you happy with your personality?
A: Yes I am very happy that I am a pastor and winning souls in thousands daily: That is a great thing for me. It gives me a lot joy.

Q: Do you think other people find you annoying? Why?
A: A lot of people hate biblical teachings- because they are not believers. Some people might hate me for this but I pray that they are going to understand the importance of Christ in our lives sooner or later. They don't know they would never have existed without Christ who gave them life in abundance. Praise God.

Q: What was your first job?
A: Evangelising and winning souls for Christ. No job was greater than that as far as I am concerned.

Q: How would you like to be remembered?
A: I want to be remembered as a true messenger of Christ. Though I can't be Him. But I can only imitate him for all my Christian teachings and divine works to get sinners and unbelievers to be converted and do things pleasing to God.

Q: Have you ever experienced a tsunami?
A: I should have but we prayed against it. I and a group of prayer warriors in my church. Truly God answers prayers.

Q: Do you believe in love at first sight?
A: I don't believe in love at first sight but I believe in anyone who has love for Christ at first reading of the bible. There are some dangerous beauty in the world that could cause anyone to have some senseless love at first sight but no true believer will be captured by those dangerous beauties and that is why we need to pray very hard to resist temptation as children of God.

Q: Also the title of a famous literary work, who were Mrs Page and Mrs Ford?
A: I have no knowlegde about this I am truly sorry.

Q: How do you know that a tsunami is going to hit soon?
A: When scientists predict we pray against it and it never happen. My greatest weapon is prayers and it worked 100 percent for me. So I urge everyone to embrace Christ. He is there for us during the time of trouble. He says call and I will answer.

Q: How long do you plan to keep it for?
A: I am going to keep things of the lord forever so I urge everything to do the same. Things of the world doesnt matter anything to me because they can't last forever. But God's gift last forever.

Q: What was your first pet?
A: My bible has been my first pet and it will remain so until I die.

Q: What kind of people annoy you?
A: I don't get angry because it is sin against God. If anyone claps you on the right cheek turn the left. Sooner or later they will realize you are untouchable. I can only pray that the good lord forgive them for they know not what they are doing and that includes anyone who hate me. No kind of people annoys me.

Q: Have you ever broken someones heart?
A: I am not a heart breaker. I had rather get someone heart broken out of the evil way and to embrace Christ.

Q: Tried a weight loss program?
A: I haven't used it but I know a lot of people who does it just to keep fit. I don't really think one's weight matters. What is more important to God is your purity of heart and not the size of your body.

Q: What position was Eileen Collins the first female to hold on a space shuttle mission?
A: I am truly sorry I have no faintest idea.

Quote:

Session starttime: 2009-03-20 13:28:50(GMT-7)
Session endtime: 2009-03-20 14:16:30(GMT-7)
Answers: 34

Q: Have you used Secure Shield service before?
A: I haven't tried it before this is my first use of it. I hope the security services are quite nice. I can recommend to members of my church.

Q: If you answered yes to previous question, how many times?
A: I havent before. This is the very first time.

Q: Have you received other type of electronic transfers before?
A: Yes I have used Western Union but I only get the information sent to my e-mail so I get the money picked up after I visit Western Union with it.

Q: Why are you receiving these funds?
A: I need to use it to buy food items and groceries for the poor and needy, the destitute and motherless babies in our charity home- a separate unit of our church. Though part of the money will be used to buy piano and worn-out guitars.

Q: Are the funds you intend to receive related to any criminal activity?
A: This funds are not in any way related to any criminal activity. They are strictly for divine use.

Q: Will the funds you receive be used for any criminal activities?
A: They are not for use on criminal activities but for church activities in my parish as a pastor.

Q: Do you have criminal record or are you being investigated for any crime?
A: I don't have any criminal record. I am also not been investigated for any crime. I have been serving my country as a law abiding citizen needless to say I am a pastor.

Q: Do you know anyone who is connected to organized crime?
A: I don't know anyone who is connected to organized crime. As a pastor it is my duty or responsibility to advice everyone to desist from any criminal activities.

Q: Do you know anyone who is being investigated for a crime?
A: Yes a friend I know during my days in the seminary school. He killed his wife. On that fateful day, he got home drunk so he hit his wife with a very sharp object and she died instantly I was told. I always advice brethens to avoid excessive alcohols the bible condemns it.

Q: Do you know anyone who has been convicted for a crime?
A: Someone I know back in the seminary school over 21 years ago. He killed his wife after having consumed excessive alcohols. I think his attitude was epitome to an unbeliever. I also advice Christians to desist from immoral attitudes.

Q: What kinds of crimes do you think can be prevented? How?
A: All crimes can be prevented if we pray against them always. With God all things are possible. A lot of people- unbelievers don't believe in Christ unless they have learnt their lessons in hard ways.

Q: How much would you like to earn?
A: I don't work for money. I work to gain more souls for Christ as his true messenger.

Q: What kind of volunteer work have you done?
A: I have assisted the poor and needy in our charity home- a segment of our church establishment. It is a non-profit organization.

Q: Which is the financial centre and main city of Switzerland?
A: I have no idea I am sorry. I don't have as much knowledge on financial issues than Christ awareness.

Q: What makes you happy?
A: Teaching people the ways of Christ and preaching the good news. What we know as evangelizing.

Q: Have you ever had anything stolen?
A: As a Christian leader, I don't accept any stolen property or anything of that sort.

Q: Which college courses are needed for you to be the very best in your field?
A: I have attained the highest degree in Pastoral education so I don' think anymore college courses will make me any better than I am. I am very good at my Christianity field winning souls for Christ.

Q: Which DJ had a UK Top Ten hit with the song Snot Rap?
A: I am sorry I have no idea. I don't have interest in raps but great interest in Christian vibes.

Q: What some of the ways can you ride a bike?
A: I have never ridden a bike so I might have to start learning.

Q: What was the most profound spiritual moment of your life?
A: The day I became born again. I felt like a new blood flow in my vein. It is best to partner with Christ in all life encounter.

Q: Would you ever date someone who was not conventionally attractive?
A: I don't date since I got married- whether conventionally attractive or not. I am dating my bible now than ever. My best date as a born again Christian now is going to prayer camping ground and winning souls for Christ.

Q: Did you like your high school guidance counselor?
A: I did. He was a moral disciplinarian. I learnt a lot from him that made me who I am today.

Q: What?s the last TV show you watched?
A: David Sherman's preaching. It was lovely. I enjoyed every inch of it.

Q: If you could be an animal, what would you be?
A: I had be a donkey that helps carry people's burden. As a pastor it is my duty to carry my brethens burden in my prayers.

Q: Do you know anyone who says that they have?
A: Nothing anyone have that strips me except if they have Christ.

Q: What follows mass as the most popular activity in U.S. Catholic churches?
A: Thanksgiving events follows in some U.S Catholics churches but I am not sure about others.

Q: Is volunteering worth the cost to you?
A: I don't do volunteering to earn but the cost is worthwhile in the presence of God.

Q: What are your dreams for your children?
A: To be good Christians, good citizens and good leaders in all disciplines of life including pastoring.

Q: Do you think there are any legal drugs that should be illegal?
A: Every drugs not recommended or prescribed by licensed doctors or nurses are illegal whether they are good or not. A good citizen doesn't use drugs unless according to doctor's prescription.

Q: What benefits other than personal satisfaction could you personally get by volunteering?
A: Trying to comfort the people of God and making them have faith in trust in God. Winning their souls for Christ is the greatest benefit ever.

Q: Which is the lowest whole number, when spelt out, is in correct alphabetical order?
A: I think the answer is 1 (one). It is the lowest whole number.

Q: Do you think the Internet favors men or women?
A: Both men and women use the Internet for similar reasons. The issue of favor doesn't really make any sense to me.

Q: How about a truck driver?
A: He works everyday to make ends meet. Just the same way a pastor as I am will do to win souls for Christ.

Q: What was the longest flight you have ever taken?
A: My flight to Asia on a prayer meeting was the longest and that was recently. We spent over 14 hours on air.

419Eater is my life Joined: 19 Sep 2006 Posts: 416

My God.

What have we created?

Shocked

Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 9:59 pm

Ever heard of the experimental rats who were trained to pressed a bar for a bit of cocaine? They pressed repeatedly even after the cocaine stopped. Many eventually died of exhaustion.

Quote:

the driver lost his brake and he aimed at me but I jumped into a small lake so I was saved. Thank god:

I'd like to think this really happened to him.

Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 10:09 pm

Ninastian wrote:

My God. What have we created?

You've unleashed his inner panache! It was there under the surface. Now to be a complete unsuccessful scammer he must be taught the ways of the flamboyant.

De-educate him more, and convince him that holding signs and dancing around a fire covered in yogurt is perfectly normal. Very Happy

You could send him my way for some interesting modalities. Laughing

Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 10:10 pm

^ You can read those to the ABBA tune, knowing me knowing you for added effect. Laughing

Ah ha!

No? probably just me then. Very funny though. Laughing

Posted: Sat Mar 21, 2009 1:23 am

Oh my word, Bluth!

Posted: Sat Mar 21, 2009 6:22 am

Ninastian, you are a comic genius. You are an asset to the baiting world!

419Eater is my life Joined: 19 Sep 2006 Posts: 416

Gosh...

I'm glad our lad is spreading joy rather than misery. This really is a team bait - Bluth, SlapHappy, Yastreb, Dora, Drama Queen and others are working hard to steer dickboi to a particularly unpleasant rebel-held town in Cote d'Ivoire called Bouake. Why? Because it's there, I guess.

To keep a single thread running, I would urge anyone who enjoys lunacy, adventure, near-death experiences, pathetic lies, silver linen coffins, foreign travel, falsetto voices, unconvincing evasion, Francophone conspiracies, nice-smelling ladies and jet engine maintenance to follow the main storyline here:

http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=159521&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

In particular, if you never listen to another .wav file in your life, check out Bluth's phone call recordings. "Charles - don't walk towards the light!!!!" Laughing

The Barking Mad World of S3cur3 Shi3ld	View next topic View previous topic