Hessie is back...and her hairbrush too!

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Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2009 10:34 pm

For the back story:
http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=125066&highlight=hester

Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2009 6:46 pm

YES! Hessie has revealed herself to her lovermugu, and he's hooked! Latest here. (I thought I'd be kind to you all by deleting some of the raunchier sex talk.)

Harry:

Quote:

My Angel,

If I have someone that can assist me raise this money, I don't think that I would have ask you to assist me. Beside, I want to assure you that this transaction is going to work for good. All we need to do right now is to secure these two documents and the bank will proceed with the transfer. I know that it is important that you start spraying the orchards by this weekend but please my angel, for the sake of this transaction, suspend it for now and I promised that by next weekend you can do that. Let us first conclude this transaction. Please my angel, remember that we can't afford to loose this fund. And with it, all our plans can be achieved. Concerning the Money Gram or Western Union, is just for you to make out time to travel to the town and make the payment. Once this is done, we shall have every cause to enjoy the rest of our lifes.

Finally, I missed you so much here. I still can't wait to meet you in person and give you my sweet kisses and hug. Please make sure you keep your body for me because I know that soonest, I will have all of it. Do please let me know the day you will be sending me the money please. Have a good day and dream of me please.

Regards,
Harry Hoffman

Hessie:

Quote:

Dearest Harry,

I'm struggling with having to postpone the orchard sprayers. I had it all arranged already, and now I have to cancel. It's causing a lot of problems on my ranch. The ranch hands are very angry at me, and are accusing me of being stupid.

But I'm trying to convince them that I'm not stupid. I can't tell them what's going on, because I don't think I should tell anyone about this deal. I did find out that there's a Western Union in town, but it will take me some time to go pull the money out of my bank and then send it to you. And I'm not even sure how to do that. Please give me some instructions how to send it to you. Do I address to you directly? Do I use your real name? What address do I use? How are you supposed to get it? I've never used Western Union before, so this is all new to me.

Thank you for saying some sweet romantic things to help me through this. I want to believe that you are the man of my dream. I think about you all the time, and dream sexy dreams about you

I want to finally share with you what I look like, so you'll know who your Angel really is. I found a photo from last year that I think you'll like. It shows you how sexy and supple my body is, and also, my long red hair. I pray that you look at my picture and feel the same lust for me that I feel for you when I look at yours. Please tell me that you've gazed at my picture and think I'm beautiful.

Once I hear from you how to send the money, I promise I'll go take care of it. I love you more than anything, and I can't wait to get you onto my ranch so you can make me feel like the woman I am meant to be!

Love from your Angel,

Hessie

Image sent:

At the same time I was sending this, he was sending this:

Quote:

My sweet Angel,

How was your night? I hope you dream of me while sleeping last night? I could not slept last night because I was thinking about you. Thinking about sleeping together with you, having a nice shawer with you, making love with you, XXX your (meow) and kissing your lovely sweet breast. How I wish I am with you right now. But I know that soonest all these dreams will become a reality. I can't stop thing about you here every day of my life. I just want to thank GOD for making me meet someone like you. Have a wonderful day ahead of you my angel. I love you so much.

Please note that I am still waiting to know the day you are sending me the money.

Best Regards,
Harry Hoffman.

So Hessie immediately wrote back:

Quote:

OH HARRY! Darling, do you realize we are writing to each other at the same time? This is GOD telling us that we are meant to be together forever! I just wrote to you and sent you my picture. And now that you've titillated me with these details of what our lovemaking will be like, I know I'm doing the right thing. To know tha t you want to XXX and XXX my (meow) and XXX...OH MY, I can't handle this! I'm just going to have to touch myself now, and (more pornographic crap). I'm going to have to do it now. And I will write you later.

Please tell me how to send you the money, and we'll get this done quickly so you can do all these things that you're telling me. The best part is, I believe now that we're going to be sexually compatible. I've always wanted a man to XXX, but it's never happened. And now I know you'll do it to me! OH!

That's it, I have to go lie on the bed and touch myself now. We'll talk later.

Love,

Hessie

Harry thinks I'm beeeeyoootiful! Woohoo! Laughing

Quote:

Oh my GOD. You are indeed my dream woman. I can't wait to see you live. You look extremly beautiful and charming. I can't wait to suck your XXX XXX XXX and sweet breast. And you will suck me dick too. I love you my Angel. And you have all the qualities I need in a woman. Note that after this transaction, I will leave with you through out my life. Than we can seat down and plan our lifes together. I will also want you to give birth to a baby for me. I love you so much my Angel.

I will be sending you the informations which you will use to send me the money later today. Have a great day and remain my Angel forever.

Best Regards,
Harry Hoffman.

He wants me to birth a baby? I'm frikken 52 years old! How the hell am I supposed to do that? Laughing

(Well, Hessie is, not me...but anyway.....)

Harry:

Quote:

My Angel,

See what you should do. As soon as you withdraw the US$2,200.00 from your account, proceed to the Western Union agent location that is nearest to you and tell the agent there that you want to send money to London. He will give you the Western Union form and also direct you on how to fill the form. It is very easy. Please use the name of my personal assistant to send me the money. Below is her name.

NAME: IYAOMOLERE FADEKE GLORY.
ADDRESS: RICHMOND ROAD BRADFORD. BD7 1DP LONDON.
USE THIS TEXT QUESTION: WHAT IS THE COLOR OF SKY
ANSWER: BLUE

Please try and make the payment today and send me all the payment information (MTCH NUMBER) via this email. You can also send me the attached western union payment slip. Thanks in advance my Angel and may GOD protect you for me untill I meet you soonest. Note please. Make sure you do not make any mistake in the name of my personal assistant while sending the money.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Regards,
Harry Hoffman.

Hessie:

Quote:

Darling Harry,

I'm so confused right now I don't know what to do. I went to the bank to withdraw the money, and the bank manager gave me a really hard time. He knows that this money is supposed to be used for the orchard spraying, and that I'd already written a check to the sprayers for this. I put a stop on the check and withdrew the money. He wanted to know why, and I wouldn't tell him. I just kept telling him that I'll be redepositing it next week, and that I'll write a new check for the sprayers. But he was very mad at me. He knows that if I don't spray my orchards, and the pests get into my trees, they can spread to all the other local ranches and cause problems for everyone.

So then I went to the Western Union office downtown and tried to send the money as you instructed, but the woman at Western Union, Bertha, also knows me, and she wouldn't do it! She said that the name that you gave me is an African fraudstar name. What IS that name? It's very strange! Bertha wanted to know why I was sending this money, but I couldn't tell her because I know we need to keep this deal secret. I told her that it was for a friend of mine who lives in London, but Bertha has known me for years and knows that I've never been to England at all, so she wanted to know how I knew someone from London. I told her that I met a man from online dating, but that made things even worse! I tried to tell her that we'd fallen in love and were planning on being together forever, but she just thinks I'm crazy. Bertha has always been a bitch. She was in love with my Harvey, and wanted to steal him from me. She's always hated me ever since he married me instead of her fat ass.

Now I'm going to have to drive to another town to find another Western Union, because this one won't do the money transfer for me. But I had to come home first because Bertha wouldn't tell me where any other Western Union offices are! The bitch. I know full well why Harvey wouldn't marry her. She's got an ass the size of a Semi tractor-trailer, and a face that looks like it got hit by one. Why would Harvey want her bloated bod when he could have my sexy shape? Damn right.

Anyway so I had to come home to try to look up where another Western Union office is that I can drive to. It looks like there's one in a city about two hours from here. There aren't very many of them around here. I've got to take care of a few things first, but then I will drive over there and do the money transfer, just like you said. That Bertha can kiss my rock-hard ass. Pretty soon I'm going to have enough money to buy that Western Union office and put her out of her f-ing job.

Meanwhile, Harry darling it would make me so happy if you could tell me more about what you're going to do to me! I'm so happy you think I'm beautiful! It's been so long since a man touched me. And to be honest, Harvey wasn't much of a lover anyway. He never used his mouth, he was more into just gettin it done and then rolling over and going to sleep. Please, Harry, tell me exactly what you are going to do to me, step by step! I want you to look at my picture and think about all that you are going to do to my body. And then I want you to touch yourself, and tell me how that made you feel.

I'm off to do the money transfer! I love you so much!

Love,

Your sweet Angel, Hessie

Stay tuned to your local stations for more of "How Hessie Turns"!

Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2009 6:51 pm

^^^

Quote:

Oh my GOD. You are indeed my nightmare woman. I can't wait to see you bite the heads off live chickens.

fixed his typos

Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2009 7:05 pm

:::snicker snicker:::

Hey, what can I say. I like chicken.

Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2009 9:49 pm

Quote:

nice shawer with you

Quote:

Than we can seat down and plan

Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 1:30 pm

I was RL shopping yesterday, but everytime I saw a hairbrush I got the giggles.

Laughing

Can Hessie perhaps recommend a good value one? I have very fine soft blonde hair BTW. If that info helps at all.

Wink

The highlights censored red are very interesting. It's not often that the lads are also cat lovers too.

Shocked

Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 1:34 pm

Cachuma, see what you deprived all of us of by you so called Real Life stuff? The above is refreshing.

Remain bless.

Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 5:35 pm

^^^Well now I feel guilty for depriving you of Hessie's antics for so long. Guess I'll just have to work all the harder to make this one as entertaining (and effective) as possible! So far so good - I'm shootin' for a bank account or two to send off to Alan, then I'm going for the safari.

Latest escapades:

Harry:

Quote:

My Angel,

Thanks for your email. If the western union agent refused to send the money to London you can try any money gram agent location please. If they also insist in the name, you can then use my name Harry Hoffman. They truth is that I don't have time to start going to western union office here in London because of the nature of my job. However, I will be looking forward to receiving all the payment information from you as soon as possible.

Meanwhile, concerning what I will do to your body, I will make love to you the way you have never experienced before. I will make love to you in the Kitchen, at the birthroom, on your bad, at your orchard and any other place that is secured. Your breat I will XXX including your (meow) and I will never fail to kiss your red lips. I do hope you will do that same to me. I can't wait to experinced all these with you my angel. I will keep loving you.

Best Regards,
Harry Hoffman.

Harry again, ten hours later:

Quote:

My Angel,

How are you today? Hope your okay. Could you believe that I dreamed about where I was making love with you last night. Beside, I just wanted to know if you succeeded in sending me the money yesterday. Could you please get back to me as soon as possible. I am looking forward to hearing from you. I missed you badly here.

Best Regards,
Harry Hoffman.

A frantic and frustrated Hessie:

Quote:

Harry,

Yesterday was the day from hell. I drove to every single Western Union and Money Gram office within a five hour drive of my ranch. Nobody would do the transfer for me. It turns out, that bitch Bertha put me on a fraudstar watch! And once your on that list, nobody will transfer money for you. I tried everything, I even threatened to call a lawyer and sue them, but they wouldn't do it. They kept telling me that I was involved in fraud, which is total crap! I told them that this money was for my boyfriend, but they didn't care. I cried the whole way home because I know this means that it's going to take even longer before I'm in your arms. And all of your sweet and sexy words have just made my heart even heavier, because I really can't wait to have all those things happen! My whole body is just shaking with sexual frustration, and I even brought my hairbrush to use it in the car on the way home. It was kind of hard to do while driving, but I can't stand it any more! I don't want to wait another minute to be in your arms, and in your bed!

What can I do now? How can I get this money to you? Do you have any other ideas? Can I have my bank do something? There's another branch of my bank in another city, where the bank manager doesn't know me like the one here does. I thought about driving there yesterday, but I realized I didn't know what to tell them to do. Can I go there and have them somehow send you the money? Will that work?

Please, Harry my darling, don't give up on me! I've got the money here, in cash, right next to me on the bed now, where I'm typing on my laptop. I have it spread out on my sheet. It's my ticket to you, my strong handsome husband. I think I'm going to lie down on it and squirm around, because it's the closest I can get to you. I'll rub it all over my body, because this money is what's going to bring your hands to me, to rub all over my body the same way.

Tell me what to do next! I know you want this to happen quickly so we can get our fortune, and you can get over here and brush my hair, and bury your face in my pungent lap.

Help me Harry! You're my only hope!

Your loving Angel,

Hessie

Juan's stalker Joined: 28 Aug 2008 Posts: 1423

That's so funny I'm wheezing!! Laughing

Quote:

I think I'm going to lie down on it and squirm around, because it's the closest I can get to you.

Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 10:08 pm

Harry thinks he's got it solved:

Quote:

My Angel,

What I will suggest is this. Since you said that your name have been put on a fraudstar watch, Can you give the money to someone to transfer to me? Send someone to go and send me the money via Money Gram please. This is the only way we can proceed. Please make use of my name while sending the money this time. Tell the person to send the money to MR. HARRY HOFFMAN. Please note that it is important you do this today or tomorrow. Please my Angel, I can't wait to meet you. I am dreaming of you as each day passess by. I will be waiting to hearing from you.

Regards,
Harry Hoffman.

Oh well, looks like he might not have a bank account available to kill. On the other hand, maybe I'm giving up too soon on that...but I'm dying to see if I can get a safari out of him...so I go in for the kill:

Quote:

Harry

I'm sitting here at my computer SO happy to hear from you!

Here's the problem with your plan. Berth and that bastard bank manager Mr. Bohigal have told everybody that I've lost my mind and am being scammed by a fraudstar trying to take my money. I can't even go anywhere in this town without everyone laughing at me. Two of my ranchhands have quit, because they're afraid that I'm going to have all my money stolen and I won't be able to pay them. It's all so crazy because they have no idea that very soon I'm going to be rich enough to buy this entire stinking shithole of a town, but I can't tell them that because I don't want to do anything that is going to get us in trouble before this deal happens.

There isn't a single person I can go to and ask them to transfer the money. Even my best friend Ima has told me that I'm daft and won't help me. I'm dying to tell her about all this, but I'm afraid that will make things even worse. And besides, she's a bit if a jealous bird, and I'm afraid she'll get mad that I've got a wonderful lover waiting for me. We've fought over men before, and I don't even want her to know about you in case she wants to try and steal you from me. The worst part is, whenever we've fought over a man, she always wins!

So here's what I'm thinking. If I can't just have my bank transfer the noney to your bank, then how about if I just buy a ticket to London and I'll come over there. I've got some money saved up in an account, and I can pull that out, buy my ticket and fly over to see you. I can stay in a nice hotel there until we get our deal done, and then we'll have enough money to go anywhere in the world that we want to go!

What do you think? I believe I can bring up to $10,000 in cash on a plane without having to declare it. If you say so, I'll pack up my things and run down to the airport and buy the first ticket out. I know it will be expensive, but who cares because soon we're going to have millions, right?

Tell me that I should do this, and I'll do it. In fact I'm going to run down to the bank right now, because it closes in an hour, and pull out all the money I can, so I can get this done. I'll be seeing you soon darling!

Love

Hessie

Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2009 6:11 pm

Update, please...

Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2009 6:22 pm

Sunuvabich, I think he twigged. That's what I get for pushing for the safari too soon. The problem is (and I knew this, but should have waited because of it), he's saying he's in London, but he's really in Lagos. I was hoping he'd come up with some twisted logic to get me to Lagos, but that might be beyond his tiny little lad brain.

No worries - Hessie is alive and well and falling in overheated lust with a couple other lads as we speak. Very Happy

If one of them starts to look promising for some good Hessie-style fun, I'll post it.

I'm also doing some straight baits. There's a bunch of new forms, security programs, etc. that I haven't tried yet, and I want to give them a go. I use the Hessie character, but she tones the sexpot stuff down quite a bit when going for the straight bait. Not nearly as much fun, but much more effective in sucking up lad time!

Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2009 6:34 pm

Nothing wrong with straight baits, they're just not as much fun to post. But I've occasionally taken straight baits off track once I've gotten the lad well-hooked, at which point some laughs can be had.

Keep at it, Cachuma. It's like riding a bicycle. You never really forget how. Wink

Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2009 7:15 pm

Quote:

Not nearly as much fun, but much more effective in sucking up lad time!

Thank goodness for us it's the lads' time you are sucking.

Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2009 7:16 pm

^^^

With Hessie, you never know!

Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2009 9:22 pm

Even without the safari, that was a lot of fun.

It's nice to have you back, Cachuma!

Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2009 9:34 pm

No worries. Hessie always gets her man.

Nobody puts Hessie in a corner!

Hessie is like a box of chocolates. You never know who she's gonna get.

Go ahead, lads. Make Hessie's day.

Hessie's NOT gonna be IGNORED!

Hessie makes me want to be a better baiter.

(Yeesh, methinks I've been watching too many movies lately!)

Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2009 9:44 pm

"I'll have what Hessie's having."

Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2009 9:46 pm

^^^

Best one, given Hessie's particular peculiarities!

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

"Mrs. Hessie, you're trying to seduce me."

"I'm just a girl standing in front of a [lad] asking him to love her."

Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2009 10:02 pm

JMRazor wrote:

"Mrs. Hessie, you're trying to seduce me."

Y'know, this one assumes an even more hilarious bent when you use her actual last name:

"Mrs. Dem0llester, you're trying to seduce me!"

Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2009 10:46 pm

"Open the pod bay doors, Hessie."

Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2009 11:29 pm

Entry at own risk. Hard hat area.

Posted: Tue Mar 03, 2009 2:29 am

Cahuma,

If you think he's twigged why not start baiting him as Ima Hessie's best friend, the one that steals all of her men?

Something along the lines of.. ' Hi, I'm Ima Hessie's best friend and I want o find out what all of the fuss is about. She has been bragging what a wonderful lover you are, so I've come to find out for myself. I might be able to help you with your little problem if you help me in return' yada, yada, yada....

If you go along the lines of 'she's been bragging and I'm no pushover and won't believe everything i'm told via email', you could get some great trophies.

Posted: Tue Mar 03, 2009 2:34 am

As it turns out, Hessie might still have a chance with her loverboy! I got the following a couple hours ago:

Quote:

Subject: SORRY.....SORRY....SORRY....

Because you have decided to liar to me, I have refused to respond to you again. How come you told me that you did not know anything called Western Union or Money Gram and right now, your name have been put on a fraudstar watch. I have been following all the emails you have sent to me from the begining and I have found out that your are not the person you claimed to be. Sorry, I can't continue with you again. I am a wise man if you don't know.

Harry Hoffman.

Hessie wrote back:

Quote:

Harry,

I cannot for the life of me understand what you are talking about. At the beginning I'd never heard of Western Union or Money Gram, but you told me to find one so I did. I looked it up in the phone book. Like I told you, I went to the Western Union here in town, but that bitch Bertha works there, and she thought that weird long name you gave me was a fraudstar person, so she wouldn't send my money! And she put my name on a Fraud Watch List! That went out by computer to every single Western Union and Money Gram in my entire area. I know that because, like I told you, I spent the entire day driving around to them, and not one of them would send the money for me, because my name was on that list. I even tried using a different name, but they require ID and all my ID's say my real name!

I'm just hartbroken that you think I lied to you, and I don't understand where you came up with that. Your email makes no sense to me. If you go back and read through all my emails, you'll see that I"m telling the truth. They wouldn't let me send the money because Bertha put my name on that damn list! I don't know why she did that, except that she hates me.

Harry, please - don't do this to me. I've been sittign here crying the whole night and day because I went to all this trouble for you, and I thought my entire life was about to change. I thought I found a man to love me, and a fortune to give me all the things I want in life. I cancelled the orchard sprayers even though it made everyone pissed off that I did that. I pulled thousands of dollars out of my personal account so I could travel to where you are pay these stupid document fees so we can get our money. I've been 100% trustworthy with you. And now you've called me a liar!

Harry my darling, if you no longer want to love me, okay, I'll understand that. I'm not the easiest person to love. But I really need that money, and you picked me for this deal, and I want to do it! It will make both our lives so much better. Please, Harry, tell me what to do next! I can't use Western Union or Money Gram, but I could use my bank account to transfer money directly to your bank account. I know this because I went into a bank branch where they don't know me and asked about it, and that's what they told me. But if you don't want to do it that way, I don't know what else to do but hop on a plane and bring it to you that way.

Please don't leave me!

Hessie

So we'll see what happens. I've decided I don't like having the lad in the drivers seat here so that I have to beg him to come back to me - ick! Makes me wanna take a shower! That's one downside to this modality. But if I can get him back, and get him to either give me a bank account or two, or even get his brain in gear to come up with a way to get me to Nigeria, I might be able to get a safari out of him yet. We'll see if he responds.

But I like your suggestion about baiting him as Ima! Laughing

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