The Official Valentine's Day Thread

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Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

Quote:

I'm hoping he outdoes himself with Valentine's day this year.

I was planning to. I figured that after the wonderful time we had watching Polar Bears which just happened to be at an Alaskan dump, that we would return to that beautiful state for a Drive-In Movie.

I would have asked you to hide beneath the tarp in the bed of my rented pick-up truck, covered in fishing gear and bait...then, once I got inside, we would have parked, I would have pulled you out and we could watch the movie and snuggle...yes, it would have been wrong to cheat the theater out of their money, but do you know how much renting a private jet to fly us to Alaska costs? Every bit counts.

Unfortunately, there are no Drive-In's in Alaska. Sad

I do have a friend of a friend, who knows some guy's sister, whose brother's mother's uncle used to do taxes for a cop who once wrote a citation to a woman in Carmel for spitting and wearing high-heels....she is friends with the ticket seller's sister's aunt who feeds the sharks at the Monterey Bay Aquarium in Monterey, CA.

:deep breath: So.......

This year, I'm taking you there. We'll have to feed chum to the sharks for an hour or so, and then after that, we'll ditch our temporary worker badges, change clothes, and then cuddle while watching the otters. Very Happy

Edit: My stomach is quite flat..and the tattoo I have is unobtrusive.

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 1:46 am

@ JMR, Harry, Reaper, DR, PF, Jojo etc. You have all given it a valiant effort. Thumbs up

Unfortunately you do not possess what it takes to make a woman truly happy. I however, do. Wink

@ All the lovely ladies of Eater, waiting to be swept off of your feet, I feel it my responsibility, as a gentleman, to caution you to not make hasty decisions. These aforementioned hooligans and touts are merely using tired old baiter tactics in feeble attempts to woo you. Shameful as it may be, it is ordinary, nay... expected of such ill intentioned sorts to use bribery and frivolous (yet empty) promises of adoration and devotion.

I do not make this claim lightly and shall prove beyond any and all doubts that I, jose_cuervo, know what women want.

Gentlemen, you may have the floor. Flame away all you like, but beware that the proof of my knowledge, will only serve to further your embarrassment, when finally revealed.

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 1:59 am

My darling Ghort -
I realize your heart has been broken please allow my love for you to mend your heart.

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 2:01 am

Pastor Frank wrote:

Honesty is the cornerstone of any solid relationship, and to be honest, this really threw a <strike>wrench</strike> wench inyo my action,

I have been following this thread closely... Rolling Eyes

and I think this edit is appropriate. Very Happy

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 2:10 am

Scarlett where have you been all day? Ima was trying to get me to crawl back to her. Today, for the first time in my life, I was able to resist....because you you, Scarlett....because of you...I can say Ima who.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nc4sOiFGHFc&feature=PlayList&p=4A02EE07279041ED&index=94

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 3:07 am

jose_cuervo wrote:

Gentlemen, you may have the floor. Flame away all you like, but beware that the proof of my knowledge, will only serve to further your embarrassment, when finally revealed.

Well missy, I already have a woman, do you? Just asking...............

ETA: Not only do I already have a woman, I have a certain green person seeking my affection.

@ Ima, how YOU doin'?

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 3:09 am

Well my word, this thread exploded today!! Laughing

Let's see if I can make any semblance out of it all. (Sorry this is long. Just skip it if you like.)

To all that may worry about my age: Do not fear. I am old enough to be legal. In most places.

Mrs So and So: Please don't fret. My big brother Ghort said it was ok for me to get the tramp stamp. And he would never steer me wrong. By the way, where is the good Professor? Shouldn't he be here declaring his love for you?

Ghost: I am so glad to see that you have decided to overcome your obsession with Ima. Miss Scarlett is just what the doctor ordered for your broken heart. She will tend to you. Treat her well. Now...in a sisterly whine: I can't believe you told them I would get the tatoo!! And that outfit was suppose to be a surprise for Bluth tomorrow! How could you!! Sheesh.

Ima: Don't worry. The one I pick will ask for my hand before Valentine's Day is here. I am sure of it. Wink

jojo: I have spent the day fielding PMs from assorted women. Seems like you have a bit of a reputation. However, I believe anyone can change (even the crazy squirrel) so I am willing to accept your woo'ing as sincere. Please don't hurt me. Ghort would be mad.

Also, I do love the Dora doll you got me this morning. It is sitting here next to this stupid computer. And the avvy you made!! Can I just say she is as cute as a button? However, she is missing something. I know I asked for a Valentine's Day Dora. Your Dora has no such theme. Can you please add some ♥♥♥ to her? Thank you!

And don't worry about the pic that Harry posted of "you". Even if it is you (and I have some serious doubts about that), with all the dance lessons, the weight comes off in no-time.

And last, but never least, to Bluth: My sweet, where have you been all day? I have missed you so! But I noticed this:

Bluth in another random act of woo'ing outside this thread wrote:

I could not have said it better than my sweet Dora.

You always know just the thing to say! Do you think you could get the mods to sticky something I have posted? That would be so cool! And though Ghort ruined the surprise, I will wear that Storm Trooper outfit if you want me too. Or I hear there is an outfit Princess Leia wears that some men like. Wink

Whew! That is a lot of typing. Next time, I won't wait all day to reply. I shall learn to post-whore like the rest of y'all. Very Happy

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 3:18 am

DoraTheExplorer wrote:

Mrs So and So: Please don't fret. My big brother Ghort said it was ok for me to get the tramp stamp. And he would never steer me wrong. By the way, where is the good Professor? Shouldn't he be here declaring his love for you?

I think he's off declaring his love for the bottle. Laughing

Juan's stalker Joined: 28 Aug 2008 Posts: 1423

@Harry I loved your poem and im so proud of you that you are not chicken to write your feelings in poetry.
Where is your sweetheart at, she needs to show some appreciation for your lovely prose.....

@Ghost, I am so glad you have waited for Scarlett. She will take the best care of you dear. I know she is just wild about you because she told me so. Wink

You do not have to grovel because you are number one to her and always will be.

Wow @Dora, you are getting some serious wooing! Im afraid it may come to blows but I hope not. Your men are very very impressive. I dont know how you will chose.

@PF I am also over come by how lovely your lady is now with your gift. She just shines.....

And last but not least, To my darling snookums @Doc. You light up my

and make me feel so happy to be yours.

Where are you darling??? I miss you. Kisses and hugs from your other devotee, me....

@Slaphappy I will share him with you and you can keep your medal because I have no where to pin it on my lapel Wink

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 3:46 am

The lovely and exquisite Dora wrote:

My sweet, where have you been all day? I have missed you so!

I missed you dearly, and I'm sorry for my absence, but I was teaching myself how to make animated gif's. I hope you like my first-ever animated avatar. I made it for you.

I would be honored and humbled if you would accept this simple request: Will you be my Valentine?

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 3:56 am

Just Jane stole my heart and if she ever decides to let it go, I have Mr. Gomer (the cat) to comfort me. I am used to women who said they'll fulfill my every fantasy (except the one with Angelina Jolie and Kirsten Dunst), then let me down horribly every time.

Jane, please don't let me down or I'll take my Glock and go home.

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 3:58 am

Slightlyoutofit wrote:

Callum blah blah blather But please. No more guys.

Another bold and completely unfounded assumption, a bit like saying NN is a hairdresser simply because he drives a pink Audi.

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 4:02 am

Harry Bawls wrote:

Well missy, I already have a woman, do you? Just asking...............

That's the problem with myopic megalomaniac types like you and JMR, you have "a" woman (for now). I intend to have them all. Very Happy

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

@My darling Sners: Laughing

Your post is precisely why I am so smitten with you.

Sharks and Otters are fine, but the cuddling and snuggling sounds like the best part. I'd happily go anywhere you want, if you just promise to hold my hand. Very Happy

Can we have a picnic too? I'll make all your favorites, I think I know what you like. Wink

Edited to add:
@Jose: Laughing

@Harry: I'm fine, thanks. Very Happy

Juan's stalker Joined: 28 Aug 2008 Posts: 1423

@sir scam alot I hope she hasn't stolen your heart and now wondered off and forgotten you? That is just seriously terribly wrong.. I hope you at least got the stuff.

Im sure there are other ladies here who would love to snatch you up.
You are a great lad kicker.

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 4:33 am

Reaper wrote:

I think he's off declaring his love for the bottle. Laughing

Well then that's just sad. No wonder Mrs So and So is so worried about me. She has no one woo'ing her. Maybe Harry can add her to his list.

My dear friend, Dramaqueen: I am luckey, aren't I? I do hope they can act sensibly and not start a fight. I would be ever so disappointed. In fact, I just realized something. jojo did apologize to PF, but he never did to Bluth. I hope he remedies that situation immediately.

Bluth!! I am so glad to see you!! What a beautiful avvy! I am so impressed!! Thank you so much. I will use it for tomorrow.

Of course you know I can not give you my answer just yet. I did promise to wait until Valentine's Day. Please be patient with me. This is my first Valentine's here and all. I will have something special for you tomorrow. ♥♥♥♥♥

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

Quote:

Can we have a picnic too? I'll make all your favorites, I think I know what you like.

Oh?

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

jose_cuervo wrote:

That's the problem with myopic megalomaniac types like you and JMR, you have "a" woman (for now). I intend to have them all. Very Happy

Now we know you are mentally ill! Ladies, stay away from this broken down bronco. He isn't even used to stud anymore. He just limps around the paddock eying the mule forlornly.

Now where was I? Oh yes....my lovely fife. You mentioning something about pimping the Merc. Well, after we arrive at the Chateau, we will need something less...obtrusive...to get to the vineyard. I was thinking about something like this:

I do hope you like sparkly things....

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 4:54 am

SSA: Baby, how could I forget you? You are the best Valentine money can buy.

<----To show my undying affection I did this just for you.

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 4:55 am

I was so busy tending to my long stem rose garden, preparing a menu for valentines day, selcting the right beachside location that is just the right temperature, Buying candles that wouldn't blow out if there was a moonlight breeze and gently selecting the wool of lambs to go into the blanket for my valentines date that i didn't even notice the thread this year.

Irish, do you have more space on that tropical island, I fear that I may end up fishing and drinking with you as I am too late.

Now I will need to read through 9 pages to see if there was anybody hinting that has not been taken by somebody else.

I will continue with the rest of my valentines plans on the offchance that I am not too late but I will also stock up on beer and bait for the fishing trip Wink

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 4:56 am

Oh, my dearest Dramaqueen! >sigh<

I am here, but I will have sporadic internet, as I travel many miles, across oceans, to the Center of the Known Universe. I will be in and out, but while I am gone, I will be thinking of you.....

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 4:59 am

JMRazor wrote:

Ladies, stay away from this broken down bronco. He isn't even used to stud anymore. He just limps around the paddock eying the mule forlornly.

Even a mule has feelings, hopes, dreams... None that would interest a flashy show-pony, I suppose. The mule quite possibly has an inner beauty that one who were shallow and self-absorbed would never recognize.

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

Tsnerd wrote:

Quote:

Can we have a picnic too? I'll make all your favorites, I think I know what you like.

Oh?

Yes, I was thinking that oatmeal cookies are one of your favorites. What were you thinking of? Wink

XOXOXOX

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

...Umm, Oatmeal cookies? ...and the rest of the basket contents. Very Happy

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

Oh? Why did that make you blush? Wink

You'll just have to wait for the picnic to find out what else I have for you. . . . or are you too impatient?

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