The Official Valentine's Day Thread

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Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 4:52 pm

DoraTheExplorer wrote:

But I will do anything, ANYTHING if you would put someone else out of action.

Dora: While your tempting and slutty offer should be exploited I must remain my totally awesome self and adhere to the rules set forth by the creator and owners of this forum... blah.. blah.. blah.. Now who wants to cash bait and have their lads join a real church? yeah!!!

My list of people to kill is so long Dora, by the time I get to yours they'll be bored and would have moved on.

Now I don't want to start any rumours, but Jojo is actually gay and he is just leading you on. Sorry.

Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 4:54 pm

Don't hate NN. I just gave you a little part of me that will stick with you forever.

Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 4:57 pm

Dear Nurse Nasty,

I know you are a mod or something like that, but please, do not slander jojo like that. I can personally vouch for him. He does great work for the masses. We have set up a center for mentally unbalanced people. I am here to generously offer you a free two week stay. Don't hate.....appreciate.

Your friend,
Harry

Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 5:05 pm

Come back to the Dark Side, Harry.

Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 5:14 pm

I'm not actually a mod. Rover changed my name to green to shut me up... shhh...

Look I'm always the last person to put someone in their place. It's just not part of my personality to be cruel to the less... ya know lesser people who do dumb things, but Jojo did send me this PM.

Quote:

From: jojobean
To: Nurse Nasty
Posted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 1:42 am
Subject: YYOU TOTAL XXXX

Look here XXXXXXXX XXXXX XXXXXX XXXXX XXXXXXXX XXXXX with a ten foot pole! You XXXX XXXXX XXXXXX XXXX Doras pants! But NOOOO you XXXXXX XXXX XXXXX XXX I will hit you so XXXXXX XXXXX XXXX XXXXXX XXXXX that a protologist wouldn't find it!!!! Now why dont you XXXXX XXXX XXX XXXXX XXXXX XXXXXXX before I use a XXX XXXX XXX XXXXX XXXXX and a bag filled with nuns!!!

See. Clearly disturbed.

I can help him. I am a nurse.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Apr 2007 Posts: 3123

First post in the new PWT - NN, you are a mod. An evil bastard of a mod. Tricking me like that. Bastard.

You won't be my valentine.

Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 5:21 pm

Hi Craig007 - Sorry, have we met? I don't recognise the user name? Nothing memorable you've done...? anyway... Welcome to eater! It's good to have new people join our forums. Can I suggest you get a mentor from some thread in another forum. Search for it yourself. Also, read something awesome by me in another thread. Ip something... safe bait whatever...

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Apr 2007 Posts: 3123

Ram it up your arse NN. Ram it.

Why don't I post a bunch of useless threads asking questions that have been answered in countless FAQs before, then make you clean up the mess? I will make you work for your mod title.

Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 5:24 pm

Hi Craig007. Just joined? Welcome to eater!

Will you be my valentine too?

Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 5:26 pm

Slightlyoutofit wrote:

Come back to the Dark Side, Harry.

Dear Squirrel,

I am considering your offer to come back to the dark side. Let's let the members decide. I am comfortable with who I am now. I will take PM votes for the next 8 hrs. Majority rules.

Your friend,
Harry

Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 5:32 pm

My dear Dan:

Please forgive all that is currently going on in this thread. It has nothing whatsoever to do with what you and I share.

I was not upset you had not posted your intentions towards me sooner. I knew you were thinking of me, as I am always thinking of you. Sundays are always too far away. :sigh: They are the best day of the week.

Thank you for dedicating Sunday's show to me. How many people can say that? And though I would never mention large siggys and the such, I heard you have a very large microphone. Tempting.

And you selflessly helped Bluth with his woo'ing. How incredible is that? You are so giving.

I will take you and the fish and chips and a diet pop every Sunday for the rest of my life. Pretty Rose

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Apr 2007 Posts: 3123

Ok, when I said you are going to work for your Green title, you didn't believe me? Watch, sonny boi.

Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 5:46 pm

Fortunately I excused myself from the pleasure of reading this whole thread.

Clearly though, my avatar alone is the object of absolutely everyone's affection here, so just line up (in front of me, please) with your flowers, candy, $$$, and whatever else you think might please me a little.

Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 5:54 pm

My dearest Dora, this line of your post caught my eye...

my darling Dora wrote:

Good morning Dan, Bluth, and jojo!!

While I know you are by far the nicest (and most beautiful) member on Eater, I would hope that if Dan was to have any chance of winning your heart he would have to go above and beyond the lengths that both jojo and I have gone. This also caught my eye...

the lovely Dora wrote:

I was not upset you had not posted your intentions towards me sooner. I knew you were thinking of me, as I am always thinking of you. Sundays are always too far away. :sigh: They are the best day of the week.

I don't mean to speak for jojo, but I think you owe it to your two suitors who have been tirelessly wooing you for the past week to let us know if you have any intention of choosing one of us, or were you leading us on until Dan could arrive?

Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 6:05 pm

Bluth... do not worry about this snotobescammed character. He is a latecomer and really brings nothing to the table.

I mean, I am sure that he has never dedicated a safari to the one that he loves. Just yesterday, my lad who was sent from Amsterdam to London says:

Quote:

dear edmond.i do not understan the reason why you treated me this way,i spend my time and money to london from aaaaaaaansterdaaam and yet you diid not see me. aanyway am back now to amsterdam with your consignment aand now depossited in a seccurity vault, pls tell me what to do next as to deliver it to you..i wait for your reply

david king

This frustration and lad heartache is dedicated to my darling Dora.

I also have, for my love, the jewels of my lad served up on a platter for her.

(Slightly NSFW)

http://www.tsmithartist.com/images/12_Head_on_a_Platter.jpg

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Apr 2007 Posts: 3123

OK, that is either a cock, a shit or a sausage.

Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 6:10 pm

Whoopie doody doo. I am free.

I cannot remember anything of what occurred, so much smoke and noise, explosions everywhere, gun fire and some demonic voice yelling curses and vowing that although the Australian Secret Service agents may have foiled him this time he will be back.

The door to the broom cupboard was kicked in and a seriously sexy and hunky 6 ft 3 inch bronzed god lifted me effortlessly across his shoulders, and with his uzi spraying mayhem to any bad guys in view sprinted me out into the glorious sun-kissed outback that was conveniently out the back.

I had no chance even to thank my rescuer, he straightaway re-entered the evil James’ stronghold to finish off any bad men including, I presume, the evil James himself.

A passing flying doctor, there is always one flying overhead, picked me up and flew me back to Tittybong. Where I quickly spied an internet café right next door to westy outlet so that I could post this news.

I only wish I could somehow assist with identifying the evil James. Alas he was wearing a mask, but the strangest thing was the awful overwhelming body odour he exuded.

I hope my gallant rescuer makes himself known to me. He will find me so very grateful.

Wink

Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 6:17 pm

@craig007: You have a gift for overstating the obvious; without a so much as a trace of humor, wit, charm, or useful information. Will you be A SKYHOOK,S valentine? Wink

Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 6:17 pm

This thread still sucks! Razz

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Apr 2007 Posts: 3123

luckey, are you mystic meg? Matchmaker? Homebreaker? What?

Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 6:23 pm

^^Those things are not exclusive. Very Happy

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Apr 2007 Posts: 3123

Due to you and your colleagues general lack of respect for me, you will see an increase in your workload shortly. I'm waiting on bastard NN to come back so "it" can be punished too.

Twisted Evil

Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 6:27 pm

Typical male here:

http://www.valentinebest.com/valentine_funny_songs.htm

Twisted Evil

Edit: Lovey not like that! Cool

Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 6:43 pm

@craig:

Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 6:44 pm

my sweetheart and ever patient Bluth wrote:

I don't mean to speak for jojo, but I think you owe it to your two suitors who have been tirelessly wooing you for the past week to let us know if you have any intention of choosing one of us, or were you leading us on until Dan could arrive?

Darling! I would never lead you on! I promise! ♥

You have always know about my feelings for Dan. They have never been a secret. I can not now lie about them. However, and this is just between you and me so I shall whisper, I know Dan has not shown any effort here in this thread for all to see. And since this is the one and only Eater Valentine's Day thread, approved for Valentine woo'ing and the such, (it really should be noted it is not a PWT), he really has no chance of winning my heart for the 14th.

You and jojo have equal opportunity to be my Valentine. There are no others.

I am sorry if I caused you any distress this morning. Please forgive me.

Je t'adore. Pretty Rose

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