SmartFeedSmartFeed          

Porsche Hangout


WELCOME - YOU ARE CURRENTLY VIEWING 419EATER AS A GUEST

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

ScamWarners.com - Internet Anti-Fraud Center - now open!


 Lad Humor...You can't buy it for ten times the price

View next topic
View previous topic
 
Post new topicReply to topic
Author Message
Branwen
It's fair


Joined: 18 Oct 2008
Posts: 4741
Location: Down on the (Playmobil) farm


PostPosted: Sat Jan 31, 2009 8:29 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Something free that converts PDFs to other things! A new toy to play with!!!

I mean, thanks, that is just what I need at the moment.

_________________
Purple Flower Mc Fry Sand Timer x14

It is your first time to use western union so therefore none can blame you. It is always like this at the first experience. - Yes lad, and at the second, and the third... you'll see.

I don't want to guess the number - But, lad, isn't that the best fun to be had with MoneyGram reference numbers?
View user's profileSend private message
Mister X
Master Baiter


Joined: 10 Jul 2008
Posts: 175
Location: Always looking over LADs shoulder


PostPosted: Sat Jan 31, 2009 8:57 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

undertowz wrote:

Quote:

> Scan the form with JPG and and not PDF


wahooo, he's game.
Laughing

Now, techies out there? How can I get that WU_U$ S3curity f0rm.pdf into
the format this lad wants? The thing seems so easy to open with Foxit
reader but I guess the lad is stuck with whatever he's got.
Short of retyping the whole thing and or saving as txt how can I get this to work for him? Hrmmm, suppose I could try some Adopey app to convert.
Twisted Evil


try to do a printscreen of that opend PDF file

hit the printscreen button and open paint than pass it into paint and save it as a jpg file

personal iam using a program called ScreenHunter it capture a print of the compleet screen and save it as an jpg
and later i just crop out the part i wanna use in my document

_________________
~ Safari x2 JohnK + Mike from Lagos to Lomé with SH & FrumpyBB
Closed lad accounts xway to many... & yr 2k13 BiN/CC:805k Netherlands United Nations Nigeria
View user's profileSend private message
undertowz
Stooge


Joined: 13 Nov 2008
Posts: 283
Location: location location


PostPosted: Sat Jan 31, 2009 9:21 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

JBG180 wrote:
Quote:
try to do a printscreen of that opend PDF file

hit the printscreen button and open paint
than pass it into paint and save it as a jpg file


nice avatar JB Cool
Thanks, I'll try printscreen to paint.

I'm just trying to use the freeware Kate pointed to in a previous post.
It looks pretty good.

_________________

D3rrick Blar3 M7CN - 2414 boxes, 68 refreshments, 2 months
"we want to avoid the puzzle thing again because it was really hard for my assistant to do it. And also it takes a lot of time"

Lords0n K0phy
"The method of playing scrabble to generate M7CN cannot be accepted by this company"
"How can Western Union ask a custormer whether he or she has been in witch craft and voodoo"

TOM SL0C0CK:
"After receiving your ID thou it was not that visable but with the use of our ultra-veiw mechain we can see the registration number"

3 oinks Closed lad accounts + I r.i.p'd 2 httpz
View user's profileSend private messageVisit poster's website
undertowz
Stooge


Joined: 13 Nov 2008
Posts: 283
Location: location location


PostPosted: Mon Feb 02, 2009 7:33 am Reply with quoteBack to top

By golly that L0rds0n Khophy is the toughest nut to crack.
Evil or Very Mad
He twigged on the M7CN mangler exercise without a click after weeks of
arguing...now here's his final ultimatum to my demand that he fill out the
WU_SUS3curity form before I'd WU his dollaz.

Quote:
The contents of those fraudulent forms sound very funny. The forms cannot be from Western Union.
Have a nice day
Lords0n Kh0phy

Laughing

In truth, the MAIN and almost valid reason lad L0rds0n won't bite at any baits is this:

Quote:
The delivery fee of $255 cannot add any growth in my Christian life or the economy of the company.


The lazy lad is only asking for a pissant $255 clams!!!...no wonder.
Even I wouldn't spend a full day filling in that longass form or 2 full days
in front of the mangler for a poxy $255 bucks.

I emailed him back to try and pull him back(he's too funny to lose):
Quote:

How do I know this is not some sort of illegal activity?
Do you have documents showing some proof?
Are you a registered business? Before I proceed I must
have proof or I am to afraid of losing my money.


L0rds0n replies:
Quote:

Transw0rld Diplomtic Courier is the only courier company licensed by United Nations and Republic of Toga to delivery all certified payment instruments to any destination in this planet. Our Staffers are constituted with Almighty God fearing set of statesmen.

Personally, I cannot sin against humanity for the sake of earthly things. 1John:2:15-17:
I should rather prefer to be a bagger in the street than to cheat or sin against humanity. Laughing

We are not fabricating issues rather we have facts and truth concerning the certified international Bank Cheque as at this time of writing.

I am father of four Children and I cannot indulge myself in anything thing that we attract endless curses to my generation.
Laughing x Laughing
See our Website: www.tdc0urierservice.be.cx Browse the website with internet explorer only.


How can I afford to lose a lad this funny?
OMG, it's almost worth sending him the damn $255 clams to get my daily laughs.

_________________

D3rrick Blar3 M7CN - 2414 boxes, 68 refreshments, 2 months
"we want to avoid the puzzle thing again because it was really hard for my assistant to do it. And also it takes a lot of time"

Lords0n K0phy
"The method of playing scrabble to generate M7CN cannot be accepted by this company"
"How can Western Union ask a custormer whether he or she has been in witch craft and voodoo"

TOM SL0C0CK:
"After receiving your ID thou it was not that visable but with the use of our ultra-veiw mechain we can see the registration number"

3 oinks Closed lad accounts + I r.i.p'd 2 httpz
View user's profileSend private messageVisit poster's website
Gnasher
Baiting Guru


Joined: 29 May 2006
Posts: 2851
Location: Centre Stage in the Theatre of Cruelty


PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 12:38 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

The funniest thing of all is that lads have ZERO sense of humour or irony in the first place. That's why they are so easy to bait sometimes. They take everything we say desperately seriously because that's their only option.

_________________
Mortar x21
"you have to pay because he need to submit this form to the Federal Ministry Of Fancies" Barrister John/Mike/Richard Okeke
"they are in deed the swinders rotating about in the net and searching for whom they will stylishly defraud your belongings" A. Moron
"Please pray harder for God to guide and protect us during our travelling because flight airplane i observe is a very big risky" Abdul Karibu
"WE DOESN'T LIKE HOW DISOBIDIENT YOU ARE!" Coco Law Chambers
"BE INFORMED THAT YOU WILL INCUR DUMMERAGE AFTER 9 DAYS FROM TODAY" Burkina Faso Air Secure Air Service.\
View user's profileSend private message
Yastreb
Demented Opportunist


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 14434
Location: Leading my wolf pack


PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 12:40 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
Republic of Toga


He just invented another fictional country...

_________________
I will heed the advice of a polite horse for it is written that more flies are caught with honey than vinegar... although assault carbines and monstrous wolves are still fun.

"I aim to misbehave."

Asena - Pretty Rose
United Kingdom United Kingdom United Kingdom United Kingdom Spain New Zealand Senegal Ghana Ghana Benin United Kingdom
Mortar x14 Closed lad accounts x 174
Safari x 3 - Oyenka Chidinma Lagos to Cotonou; Dickyboi Lagos to Accra; Femmy Lagos to Porto Novo
Sand Timer x 7: Dufus & Abavana/Capt Joseph Annan/Victor Walla/Ohene Agyekum/James Jeffrey/Peace Akpobor & John Mensah/Tony Kalaby & Addo Gilbert
View user's profileSend private message
Dutch
Goat hoarder


Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 4204
Location: Dislocated


PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 1:02 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

undertowz wrote:

See our Website: www.tdc0urierservice.be.cx Browse the website with internet explorer only.


Ah: a website. Twisted Evil Are you posting this one in Fake Sites for deading as well?

_________________
SpainNigeriaNetherlandsCanadaSouth AfricaUnited KingdomAustraliaIvory CoastGhanaTogoUkraineIrelandHong KongFranceSenegalGermanyBeninTurks and CaicosIndonesiaPortugalBurkina FasoMalaysiacameroonJapanGambiaSierra LeoneKenya deadified fake websites) x 374
Mortar x11 Closed lad accountsx a couple Cellphone pony Easter Egg Nurse Nastys Audi TT Goat Golden Goat
Yes we can! (with a bit of help)
View user's profileSend private message
undertowz
Stooge


Joined: 13 Nov 2008
Posts: 283
Location: location location


PostPosted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 1:51 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
Are you posting this one in Fake Sites for deading as well?


I learn something new every day at 3ater - excellent suggestion.
Evil or Very Mad
Since I don't run IE I was left with a gobbledegook of text with links to
the most ridiculous places...mostly in french...a picture site for storing pics?
A french dns hosting site and best of all a link to upl0ad.com where you are invited to:
"Host your files without intrusive or blended ads for free."

I may have to have a look with IE to get the true feel of what L0rds0n uses to broadcast his presence on the web.

(I can just imagine the colours)
Rolling Eyes

_________________

D3rrick Blar3 M7CN - 2414 boxes, 68 refreshments, 2 months
"we want to avoid the puzzle thing again because it was really hard for my assistant to do it. And also it takes a lot of time"

Lords0n K0phy
"The method of playing scrabble to generate M7CN cannot be accepted by this company"
"How can Western Union ask a custormer whether he or she has been in witch craft and voodoo"

TOM SL0C0CK:
"After receiving your ID thou it was not that visable but with the use of our ultra-veiw mechain we can see the registration number"

3 oinks Closed lad accounts + I r.i.p'd 2 httpz
View user's profileSend private messageVisit poster's website
undertowz
Stooge


Joined: 13 Nov 2008
Posts: 283
Location: location location


PostPosted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 2:03 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Today's jolt of L0rds0n humor lives up to his high standards:
Recall the lad is impossible...no M7CN EVER....no WU forms whatsover
EVER...nope, he won't bite on either.

His latest standoff. (I've been baiting him as a Dr....a woman...and a victim.)
Laughing
I sent this last nite to try and hang onto him until I can figure out a way
to slap him around with another modality.

Quote:
Dear and Listen Here Mr. L0rds0n

I like you very much but you are the most frustrating man to do business
with that I have ever met before. You refuse to fill out the forms and you
will not go to the M7CN $ecure website so how can I send the money!?!

For example. You raise the point about voodoo and magic.
Let me tell you what Western Union lady said to me when I told her
you thought that it was "funny" for Western Union to ask such questions.

She told me that voodoo and black magic is rife in Western Africa and
many people practice it while running internet scams to pay for their
magic supplies and evil chemical potions. They then use them to lure
more money from their voodoo'd victims. They make people go to their
banks and send them money by rubbing some hair on their hands and
then the victim is in a magic trance. I am afraid of that sort of activity
but the fact that Western Union stops fraud by asking those questions
is good enough for me.

I will say to you that I am sorry for demanding the completed forms
yesterday but you caught me on a bad afternoon after having to care
for 122 very dirty children that came into my hospital with big bugs in
their hair. We spent the rest of the day picking those bugs out of their
clothes and beds so they would not catch the terrible Green Bug Virus
that makes them very sick. Even the lady at Western Union has the bugs.
Very Happy
She said you could skip over any questions that you thought did
not apply to you because it would be highly unlikely that you're a
voodoo child of the devil since I told her you were a man of God.

Please sir, won't you reconsider and send me at least one of those forms?

Sincerely Dr. G0ldsilv3r



here's my lad's final answer [lol]

Quote:


There is no regulation that enforces receiver of a particular fund to fill a form before any transfer of fund will be made. It is the sender that will fill a form and not the receiver. The receiver will only fill form at the collection end with his valid identification.

This is pure banking procedure and stops all those jokes. May God forgive you for black mailing Africans?
Laughing
Your so called holy country is where you will see different types of immorality. Such as, homo sexual, lesbianism, gay, racist, self righteousness, brutality, slavery and many more and including the so called voodoo and witch craft.



ROFLMAO

How can I possibly top that.

Have a nice day
Laughing

_________________

D3rrick Blar3 M7CN - 2414 boxes, 68 refreshments, 2 months
"we want to avoid the puzzle thing again because it was really hard for my assistant to do it. And also it takes a lot of time"

Lords0n K0phy
"The method of playing scrabble to generate M7CN cannot be accepted by this company"
"How can Western Union ask a custormer whether he or she has been in witch craft and voodoo"

TOM SL0C0CK:
"After receiving your ID thou it was not that visable but with the use of our ultra-veiw mechain we can see the registration number"

3 oinks Closed lad accounts + I r.i.p'd 2 httpz
View user's profileSend private messageVisit poster's website
callum
Director of Press Relations


Joined: 29 May 2004
Posts: 3631
Location: On the run from the asylum and this seems like a good place to hide. Blend right in...


PostPosted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 3:22 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Tell him that you've spoken to the manager at WU and they have agreed to waive the forms in this case, provided your lad can provide a certificate of baptism into one of the following churches (insert list of actual ladland churches here) because they will then be able to have his credentials checked directly.

Be interesting to see if he actually asks for one or not, or how much it will cost him if he does Laughing

_________________
Do you have a concern about ethics? Click here, then here and finally HERE!
Bush goat you will meat like a chicken. It will kill you in your house where you are going to die.
I owe you quite simply one of the definitive experiences of my life.
x 2 teeny part of a large effort Mortar x29 Nurse Nastys Audi TT x5
Trolling is usually symptomatic of bad character, mental problems or ugliness - RIP Jock_2009
View user's profileSend private message
undertowz
Stooge


Joined: 13 Nov 2008
Posts: 283
Location: location location


PostPosted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 4:12 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
provide a certificate of baptism

Laughing I like it!

Truth be told however...for $255 bucks this lad will stick to his guns for
the duration. I baited the bugger for weeks with another account previous
to this Dr. Patric1a and was met with an equal result. He won't do squat
for such a small sum of dollaz. This is his scam. Keep the price really low
and get a lot more vics. Here's the proof from a few days back.

Quote:

I am getting tired of all these your long mails.

Western Union cannot own that form you have sent. Even as this morning, we received not more than eight transfer through Western Union and Money-gram from Europe, Southern America and USA respectively.



I half believe him on this. 8 WU transfers/perday at $255 is serious coin
and I'll bet my Sweet Tarts that's why he doesn't give a hoot about my
$255. He's simply not starving and he's doing well peddling his wares as is.

Your suggestion will keep him within arm's reach and that is what I'm
interested in. I lost him once. Now I'll keep him answering emails just to
get the laughs for now...eventually I'll drop him to his knees once I try and get his website nuked.

Damn time to get it all done is the worst of this...


Embarassed

_________________

D3rrick Blar3 M7CN - 2414 boxes, 68 refreshments, 2 months
"we want to avoid the puzzle thing again because it was really hard for my assistant to do it. And also it takes a lot of time"

Lords0n K0phy
"The method of playing scrabble to generate M7CN cannot be accepted by this company"
"How can Western Union ask a custormer whether he or she has been in witch craft and voodoo"

TOM SL0C0CK:
"After receiving your ID thou it was not that visable but with the use of our ultra-veiw mechain we can see the registration number"

3 oinks Closed lad accounts + I r.i.p'd 2 httpz
View user's profileSend private messageVisit poster's website
callum
Director of Press Relations


Joined: 29 May 2004
Posts: 3631
Location: On the run from the asylum and this seems like a good place to hide. Blend right in...


PostPosted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 4:17 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Have you asked him for a bank account into which you can transfer directly?

_________________
Do you have a concern about ethics? Click here, then here and finally HERE!
Bush goat you will meat like a chicken. It will kill you in your house where you are going to die.
I owe you quite simply one of the definitive experiences of my life.
x 2 teeny part of a large effort Mortar x29 Nurse Nastys Audi TT x5
Trolling is usually symptomatic of bad character, mental problems or ugliness - RIP Jock_2009
View user's profileSend private message
undertowz
Stooge


Joined: 13 Nov 2008
Posts: 283
Location: location location


PostPosted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 5:34 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
asked him for a bank account


yup so many times

it's always my last ditch question after raking him over and over to do the WU stuff or the mangler.

like I said in the previous posts

all he wants is $255, he won't budge for such a low amount.

fairly sharp little weasel as far as weasels go

Evil or Very Mad

_________________

D3rrick Blar3 M7CN - 2414 boxes, 68 refreshments, 2 months
"we want to avoid the puzzle thing again because it was really hard for my assistant to do it. And also it takes a lot of time"

Lords0n K0phy
"The method of playing scrabble to generate M7CN cannot be accepted by this company"
"How can Western Union ask a custormer whether he or she has been in witch craft and voodoo"

TOM SL0C0CK:
"After receiving your ID thou it was not that visable but with the use of our ultra-veiw mechain we can see the registration number"

3 oinks Closed lad accounts + I r.i.p'd 2 httpz
View user's profileSend private messageVisit poster's website
undertowz
Stooge


Joined: 13 Nov 2008
Posts: 283
Location: location location


PostPosted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 6:27 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

MEANWHILE BACK AT THE ULTRA-VIEW MECHAIN LABORATORY....

I emailed the lad with a "big" reward if he'd send me pics of the
ultra-view(TM). He replied with a forward address to some other addie
a spokesman for "GALAXY STEEL AND MACHAINS LIMITED"
Laughing

Now, for the first time outside of ladland .... a look at the ultra-view

Quote:
Top of the day to you sir,

We have been expecting your mail as regards the machine you required,Mr Tom Sl0c0ck called earlier to inform us the a certain man will be contacting us as regards this machains.So we are very pleased to welcome you to GALAXY STEEL AND MACHAINS LIMITED.

We shall be send you the two types of ultra view machine we have and hence can also be delivery to you as fast as you want them,

(1) ULTRA VIEW_VOX- This particular machine is mostly used in the banks for viewing of fake money,illegal document and fake identity card.This machine cost (1900GBP).

(2) ULTRA VIEW_1700-This machine is use in some bank it has the same function as the first one,but it is mostly used in companys like oil and gas companys.And the cost of this machine is (1540GBP).

Kindly look at the attachment above for the various machines and get back to us when you are through for the price settlement.

We want to use this medium to say thank you for contacting us and we will look forward in doing business with you.

I await your mail soon.

Regards
ENGR JAMES H00KE. <------------ Laughing


ok, clean your glasses folks here they come!
the UV 1700

Image



and finally

the ultra-view VOX

Image



Rolling Eyes

_________________

D3rrick Blar3 M7CN - 2414 boxes, 68 refreshments, 2 months
"we want to avoid the puzzle thing again because it was really hard for my assistant to do it. And also it takes a lot of time"

Lords0n K0phy
"The method of playing scrabble to generate M7CN cannot be accepted by this company"
"How can Western Union ask a custormer whether he or she has been in witch craft and voodoo"

TOM SL0C0CK:
"After receiving your ID thou it was not that visable but with the use of our ultra-veiw mechain we can see the registration number"

3 oinks Closed lad accounts + I r.i.p'd 2 httpz
View user's profileSend private messageVisit poster's website
Cathartic Kate
Tags are not important


Joined: 03 Dec 2008
Posts: 1542
Location: Spooner Hall


PostPosted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 7:00 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Not quite as impressive as the "Holly Hop Drive" (a box with 'Start' and 'Stop' buttons on it), at a mere 20gazilliondollarpounds.

Wink

Edit - we have a similar machine in our lab at uni, we use it check that the toasted sandwiches made with the breville are cooked adequately.

Laughing

_________________
Give the lads some extra pain with your own IT admin from hell - visit toolkits for Grooble Gambit

Proud member of "The Todger Club"

Closed lad accounts < никогда достаточно




Goat
View user's profileSend private message
undertowz
Stooge


Joined: 13 Nov 2008
Posts: 283
Location: location location


PostPosted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 5:14 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Kate makes my mouth water with this recipe:
Quote:
we have a similar machine in our lab at uni, we use it check that
the toasted sandwiches made with the breville are cooked adequately.


Speaking of adequately cooked. These lads must be sleeping in a
microwave. The"vox" is a low end electron microscope with a Mac
monitor. (see the logo clear as bell).

The 1700, well, it required some hits with unsharp mask and a few filters
with my ultraview Photochop mechain and the Spacelabs logo
revealed itself clearly. A quick g00gle for Spacelabs brought this back:
Quote:

Ultraview SL2600

With its compact design, large display and comprehensive monitoring capabilities, the Ultraview SL2600 is the perfect choice for monitoring in the operating room, emergency department or critical care area. Its compact size, wireless network capability and integrated handle make it well-suited for patient transport. Fast setup and easy operation allow clinicians to focus on the patient, not the equipment. Spacelabs WinDNA® functionality brings information to the point of care, and with our Data Shuttle® capability, you can maintain a concise and complete electronic patient record from admission to discharge.


Image

Clearly the identical "patient" monitor with identical icons on the right.

Sadly and surprisingly Laughing my lads are lying. Embarassed How could they!
Recall I offered them a substantial WU transfer if they'd send me the pics
and drawings of their "Ultra-view mechain". I have a fairly fun bait
going since they're expecting my $1,500 transfer for sending these pics.
I promised an order for ten units at $500/pop when I received their pics.
I'm a man of my word...I'd never lie to my lads...I've made the promised
transfer....but they're in for a surprise.

The dollaz are waiting patiently for pickup....at the mangler.
Twisted Evil

_________________

D3rrick Blar3 M7CN - 2414 boxes, 68 refreshments, 2 months
"we want to avoid the puzzle thing again because it was really hard for my assistant to do it. And also it takes a lot of time"

Lords0n K0phy
"The method of playing scrabble to generate M7CN cannot be accepted by this company"
"How can Western Union ask a custormer whether he or she has been in witch craft and voodoo"

TOM SL0C0CK:
"After receiving your ID thou it was not that visable but with the use of our ultra-veiw mechain we can see the registration number"

3 oinks Closed lad accounts + I r.i.p'd 2 httpz
View user's profileSend private messageVisit poster's website
Proto419
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 26 Jan 2009
Posts: 77


PostPosted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 5:25 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Cathartic Kate wrote:
Not quite as impressive as the "Holly Hop Drive" (a box with 'Start' and 'Stop' buttons on it), at a mere 20gazilliondollarpounds.



OMFG! I JUST watched that ep of Red Dwarf last night! LOL! I love it! (BTW, in the alternate world, where everything is opposite, would your name be unhealthy Keith? And more importantly, would your other self try to get you in bed?)
View user's profileSend private message
Cathartic Kate
Tags are not important


Joined: 03 Dec 2008
Posts: 1542
Location: Spooner Hall


PostPosted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 11:21 am Reply with quoteBack to top

In the alternate world, his name is Kevin, and as well as being utterly repulsive and calous and uncaring to his forum mates, is a secret scammer overfond of using Eastern Carrot to send his money to his victims.

Wink

And yes to the second question, premature and manic as well as slighty small, also a tadge floppy.

Laughing

_________________
Give the lads some extra pain with your own IT admin from hell - visit toolkits for Grooble Gambit

Proud member of "The Todger Club"

Closed lad accounts < никогда достаточно




Goat
View user's profileSend private message
undertowz
Stooge


Joined: 13 Nov 2008
Posts: 283
Location: location location


PostPosted: Sat Feb 07, 2009 3:04 am Reply with quoteBack to top

W3rd up! As requested the sketch and manual have arrived.
The MODIFIED ULTRA-vIEW GOLD capable of probing deep into the ground.
15 km according the my lad. Will scan for rich deposits of ore and minerals.
The lad delivered my requested sketch of the new improved Ultra-View Gold mining mechain.
My baiter persona is a wealthy diamond - gold surveyor and mining engineer.
Note, the sketch is a lazy trace - nicely shaded though...but the manual Rolling Eyes ....a real lad gem

My pitch.
Quote:

ATTN: MR JAMES H00KE

We're ready to order 1000 units at $500 per. The money is on my desk.
I can see it. It looks wonderful. My buyers need some detail drawings to
display how the miner's Ultra-View Gold looks and how it will work for
their mining jobs. The photo you sent shows a mechain that would not be
nearly large enough to scan an area as large as we need for mining.
(1 acre square per scan X 15 KM deep)

We are thinking the model would be the size of a car or truck. The buyers
will not place any orders whatsoever until I show them design drawings
of the great mechain showing how it will scan for minerals way beneath
the earth.

I MUST HAVE DRAWINGS BEFORE I CAN SEND YOU ANY ORDERS OR
MONEY - THIS IS NOT NEGOTIABLE. NO PHOTOS - NO DOLLARS.
REPEAT NOT NEGOTIABLE BUD.

Sincerely
W1ll Kn0ts


The lad spent three days knocking out this sketch and user manual. Very Happy

Here's the sketch (Question) ...manual follows

THE ULTRA-VIEW GOLD MINING MECHAIN (soil tiller far right)
Image


User Manual...a virtual gem of lad engineering. Rolling Eyes
Quote:

Subject: VIEW THE SKETCH AND ACT IMMEDIATLY.

GALAXY STEEL AND MACHAINS LIMITED
Manchester City.
03101-ALG London,
ENGLAND.

Top of the day to you sir,

I have reed your email and was well understood,sir i have taken my time to sketch this machine out so i have listed below the various functions of this machine and how they works.

(1) Bis-monitor:It is the place where every activities been done by the machine is viewed and it is like a television you can see everything you want there.

(2) Object-shapes:Those particle you see on the right hand side of the monitor is the various object the the soil tiller come across before getting to 15km inside the ground and you will then be able to know all what is in that ground,if it is gold or ore.

(3) Network access:Inside that box there is a small antenal that recieve wave faster than anything you can imagine, it drags network from far and near to enable you accomplish your search.

(4) Flex-spot:That pole in between the Bis monitor and the space labs is what we call the flex spot it goes up and down with the help of the control box for viewing very thinning objects.

(5) Space-lab: That is the box below it is use to regulate the whole machine, and in the middle there is a place where you slot in your CD for proper recording of your exploitations.

(6) Control-box: That is the power house of the machine,in there we have the fuse and the plugg that controls the soil tiller to move straight into the specify location in the earth.

(7) Tone-access-control:it is used to move the neck of the machine up and down.

(8.)Soil-tiller:This is the silver rod at the back of the machine that goes into the ground at about 15km inside the ground and once this rod is inside the ground it will be controled with the help of the control box and you can then view the particle the is in that ground on the Bis monitor to see what you are looking for.

(9) Cooler section: It is an air condition that cools the machine when is it hot so that the small fuse inside will not get burnt.

So sir i hope with this little sketch and explaination you have see the best of our ultra view 1700.kindly be aware that if you do not understand properly our Engineer that will be coming along with the machine will explain better also that is all the best i think we can do for the now till we have delivered the machine.

And also as regards the payment please to avoid and problem you are to break the money in two part which is going to be $2500USD each and send it with that same information so that we can get started immedaiatly.I strongly hope that your client will be happy with this explainations.I look forward to get your comfirmation about this and send the shippment money immedaitly.

I await your mail soon.

Regards
ENGR JAMES H00KE.



Where do they come with this stuff? That baby took some thought.
If my lad didn't spend days working that shite out I'd be surprised.
Shocked

_________________

D3rrick Blar3 M7CN - 2414 boxes, 68 refreshments, 2 months
"we want to avoid the puzzle thing again because it was really hard for my assistant to do it. And also it takes a lot of time"

Lords0n K0phy
"The method of playing scrabble to generate M7CN cannot be accepted by this company"
"How can Western Union ask a custormer whether he or she has been in witch craft and voodoo"

TOM SL0C0CK:
"After receiving your ID thou it was not that visable but with the use of our ultra-veiw mechain we can see the registration number"

3 oinks Closed lad accounts + I r.i.p'd 2 httpz
View user's profileSend private messageVisit poster's website
SlapHappy
Body Eater


Joined: 15 May 2006
Posts: 9614
Location: Floating up and down with happiness.


PostPosted: Sat Feb 07, 2009 4:54 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Nice trophies, undertowz! Very Happy clapping Thumbs up You got yourself a real scientist there!

_________________
Sand Timer x Reven U., Fats Walla, Donny
Safari x10 Sand Timer X2 MM:Mikex2, JohnK, [email protected], Ob1, Armstrong, Ismail, TG&Friend
Safari x3 Nancy, Security Guy, Robert Accra-Tamale
Safari Safari Sand Timer (19 mo.) Tina and Joe's Safari - Accra to Niger & Timbucktu
Safari Safari [email protected] & Charlie -Wulugu Or Bust Safari- Lagos to Paga & Tokwari X2 - 3800mi.
Golden Pith x3 H3ctor & [email protected] - Yankar1 & Parakou
Safari x2 Charles and Friend-Amsterdam to Vatican
Safari Issac to Chad
Be A Cool Cat, Like Me Trophy Videos Cool Stuff
pony pony Closed lad accounts Mortar Goat Easter Egg 2011
View user's profileSend private messageSkype Name
undertowz
Stooge


Joined: 13 Nov 2008
Posts: 283
Location: location location


PostPosted: Sat Feb 07, 2009 5:04 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
Nice trophies


thanks SH. The sketch was a letdown but worth the price of a Wallmart
frame over the toilet. I hope to wallpaer the entire bathroom with this stuff....lad wallpaper. hmmm, might even be marketable.

The Crap Collection.

Very Happy

_________________

D3rrick Blar3 M7CN - 2414 boxes, 68 refreshments, 2 months
"we want to avoid the puzzle thing again because it was really hard for my assistant to do it. And also it takes a lot of time"

Lords0n K0phy
"The method of playing scrabble to generate M7CN cannot be accepted by this company"
"How can Western Union ask a custormer whether he or she has been in witch craft and voodoo"

TOM SL0C0CK:
"After receiving your ID thou it was not that visable but with the use of our ultra-veiw mechain we can see the registration number"

3 oinks Closed lad accounts + I r.i.p'd 2 httpz
View user's profileSend private messageVisit poster's website
callum
Director of Press Relations


Joined: 29 May 2004
Posts: 3631
Location: On the run from the asylum and this seems like a good place to hide. Blend right in...


PostPosted: Sun Feb 08, 2009 9:03 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

His description is right up there with the funniest stuff I've seen a lad produce. Whatever you do keep him. The next step it to have him produce a mobile track mounted version operable by GPS guided remote control from your home office. Preferably solar powered and with an automatic ore sampling rig.

And I reckon all baiters should have one of these..
Quote:
is a place where you slot in your CD for proper recording of your exploitations

Laughing

_________________
Do you have a concern about ethics? Click here, then here and finally HERE!
Bush goat you will meat like a chicken. It will kill you in your house where you are going to die.
I owe you quite simply one of the definitive experiences of my life.
x 2 teeny part of a large effort Mortar x29 Nurse Nastys Audi TT x5
Trolling is usually symptomatic of bad character, mental problems or ugliness - RIP Jock_2009
View user's profileSend private message
undertowz
Stooge


Joined: 13 Nov 2008
Posts: 283
Location: location location


PostPosted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 3:26 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
mobile track mounted version operable by GPS


Excellent. I'll be on that later tonite. somthing like:
"Thanks so much for the intial drawing. We'll take ten of the 1700s but
now I need to ask you for a special one-of-a-kind order.
We need a mobile track mounted version operable by GPS........
Laughing No question the drawings will rock!

Oh he's an engineer alright....Rolling Eyes

He'd originally been calling himself "Mr. Sl0c0ck" a bank man
handling my inheritance/prize....I forgot since I blew that dross off
long ago when I first heard about the ultra-view(TM}. I switched tracks
and said "forget the damn inheritance for now, we can make mass fortunes selling those mechains!"

After he read my proposal he immediately jumped aboard and became the engr.

Quote:

Welcome to Buttfield Private Bank.We are pleased to be at your service.

Sir,i cannot supply you with the mechain the only person that can do so is the contact i sent to you,so please contact him he can deliver the mechains to you as you have requested. I do not want to be involved in this kindly contact the address below for the mechain delivered to you.

This informations below can distribute the mechains to you not me.Please do not write me again about this mechain because i do want to lose my job,Mr james can supply you any amount of that mechain you need
Laughing
Here is the contact information below,

NAME:MR JAMES H00KE

Best Regards,
MR TOM SL0C0CK Manager Buttfield Private Bank PLC


This thread covers the rest. I negotiated the purchase and pending
delivery of 10 1700s as per the lad's drawing and manual specs. Rolling Eyes

Several emails back and forth argued payment methods. Predictably
Engr H00ke wanted $5000 sent via Westy Onion. I complied and issued
him a $5000.00 payment payable immediately at the mangler.
The lad HOWLED at the sight of the M7CN $ecure:

Quote:
we could not access the puzzle been given to us by the western uni0n no custumer has ever done that,so we find it difficult to retrieve the M7CN. I will advise that you call the west3rn onion as fast as you can for the to send you the number,
Regards
ENGR JAMES H00KE


I let him squirm for a day or two and replied saying since he refused to
claim his money at the mangle I would cancel the order and deal with my
suppliers in China if he wouldn't supply me with a bank account number.

Bonus. Lad replied with numbaz, my first Closed lad accounts


Tons more fun ahead. He'll get my email in a few days (after my report to gets 'er dead)
saying "sir, for some reason my bank can't seem to make the transfer
because your account seems inactive or perhaps your account numbers were wrong.
Laughing

stay tuned for the track mounted Model Y2KY

_________________

D3rrick Blar3 M7CN - 2414 boxes, 68 refreshments, 2 months
"we want to avoid the puzzle thing again because it was really hard for my assistant to do it. And also it takes a lot of time"

Lords0n K0phy
"The method of playing scrabble to generate M7CN cannot be accepted by this company"
"How can Western Union ask a custormer whether he or she has been in witch craft and voodoo"

TOM SL0C0CK:
"After receiving your ID thou it was not that visable but with the use of our ultra-veiw mechain we can see the registration number"

3 oinks Closed lad accounts + I r.i.p'd 2 httpz
View user's profileSend private messageVisit poster's website
callum
Director of Press Relations


Joined: 29 May 2004
Posts: 3631
Location: On the run from the asylum and this seems like a good place to hide. Blend right in...


PostPosted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 3:32 am Reply with quoteBack to top

undertowz wrote:
Model Y2KY

Which reminds me, you need to ask him (later of course, don't want to burst his brain just yet) if the dongle fasteners are year 2013 compliant.

_________________
Do you have a concern about ethics? Click here, then here and finally HERE!
Bush goat you will meat like a chicken. It will kill you in your house where you are going to die.
I owe you quite simply one of the definitive experiences of my life.
x 2 teeny part of a large effort Mortar x29 Nurse Nastys Audi TT x5
Trolling is usually symptomatic of bad character, mental problems or ugliness - RIP Jock_2009
View user's profileSend private message
undertowz
Stooge


Joined: 13 Nov 2008
Posts: 283
Location: location location


PostPosted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 3:53 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
don't want to burst his brain just yet


Laughing

quite the artist....check the shading. The lights and darks are bang on.

Since his "designer" is so skilled, I'm think I'll send the lad a jpg of those
alien creatures in Day of the Triffids as example of what we have in mind.

_________________

D3rrick Blar3 M7CN - 2414 boxes, 68 refreshments, 2 months
"we want to avoid the puzzle thing again because it was really hard for my assistant to do it. And also it takes a lot of time"

Lords0n K0phy
"The method of playing scrabble to generate M7CN cannot be accepted by this company"
"How can Western Union ask a custormer whether he or she has been in witch craft and voodoo"

TOM SL0C0CK:
"After receiving your ID thou it was not that visable but with the use of our ultra-veiw mechain we can see the registration number"

3 oinks Closed lad accounts + I r.i.p'd 2 httpz
View user's profileSend private messageVisit poster's website
Display posts from previous:      
Post new topicReply to topic


 Jump to:   



View next topic
View previous topic
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum



** Find out information about your IP address **


All Content © 2003 - 419Eater.com
Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group :S5: FI Theme :: All times are GMT