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undertowz
Stooge
Joined: 13 Nov 2008
Posts: 283
Location: location location
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 Posted:
Fri Jan 23, 2009 10:22 pm |
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Often when you least expect good stuff it sneaks up from behind and
bites an unsuspecting ass cheek. This tale started out as hohum lad
sends typical mugu inheritance mail.
| Quote: |
Dear Mr. Will Nots,
My names are Mr. Maurlce Mmaduak0lam Iwu; I was born on Apr1l 22st, 195O in Umu3z3ala, Umukabia Ehim3 Mban0 in Im0 State the eastern region of Nigeria. I am married with four children. I attended Christ the King Sch00l, Abba for my primary education at St. P1us Coll3ge B0d0 0g0ni for my Secondary Education. I obtained my professional training at the University of Bradford, 3ngland; I received a Master of Pharmacy degree in 1976 and a PhD in 1978. I received Fulbriht Senior Scholar Award at the 0hio State University, Columbus 0hio and the Department of Chemistry; Columbia University, New York in 1983.I was formally a Professor of Pharmacognosy at the University of Nigeria, Nsucka (1984-1993) and presently, I am the chairman tender board of the directors Independent National El3ctoral Commission (IN3C) in Nigeria.
I believe with the above comprehensive explanation about my self will enable you have complete confidence that you are dealing with a man globally recognized.
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hrmm Professor of Pharmacognosy...
With a bio like that who wouldn't entrust everything to Maurlce Iwu?
He goes on to say he's bringing in the CBN to handle the transfers and they send another pile of worthless crap for me to sign. 10 docs from the CBN not worth posting. done deal.
Mauric3 continues to flap away....
| Quote: |
| In addition, first of all, I would like you to understand the need for your participation in this project; the reason why I and my colleagues contacted you to participate in this project is for us to present your name to the federal government of Nigeria as the original beneficiary of the said contract executed to the federal government of Nigeria in the year 2006 for the supply of electoral materials used for the year 2007 elections here in Nigeria, so that the proceeds of the contract valued US$17,200,000.00 would be paid to you as a beneficiary and we can then share the money in the ratio 40% to you the account owner, while 60% for me and my colleagues here. |
proof perfect partnership
That's the nutshell overwith. On to the meaty and taters. To spare you/myself the moronic details our email rambled over hill and "send me the money" dale. Maurice sent me a half dozen very official forms from the good ol' Central Bank o' Nigeria (CBN) plus a handfull of forms for me to sign giving him ass binding authority to rob me of some fees and taxes - $2900 for openers.
one form will suffice for now
oops forgot the thumbprint
ok moving on
skip
skip skip
a pile of typical send this, sign that email. all the while I'm rebaiting him with my plans to build a multi million dollaz resort hotel racetrack complex somewhere in deepest Africa - perhaps Maurice's hometown if he'd head up the job as supervisor and construction lad for my "huge" company. Maurice agrees to send me "architek" sketchees for a small fee and offers me this to spice the deal.
| Quote: |
Dear Mr. WillNots
Honestly, I am very happy for your mature understanding and cooperation towards accomplishment of this great project. As a matter of fact, I am going to give you and your partners my total support in any investment that you may wish to establish in Africa, not only that; I will voluntarily give you and your partners 3000 plots of land which I have in Abeokuta, Nigeria, and if you wish to build or create companies anywhere in Africa, I am going to create an opportunity for it because I have the influence to do it for you, but all I still require is your maximum cooperation to enable us achieve it all. In addition, I will want you to send me $30,000 from the presumed amount immediately it is transferred in your account, so that I can process a Canadian Visa as quick as possible to meet you one on one in Canada so that we can plan ahead on where and how to establish our investment deals.
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niiiiice I now own 3000 plots in Abeokuta Nigeria. Hows that for shrewd business savvy?
More back and forth...more ego stroking.........more more more...until.... sheeeeeeot hitz la fan! All the papers were signed, Maurice got his chance to collect my fees paid at the M7CN mangler (failed miserably) which led to a prolonged stall. During this time I suspect Maurice was fidgeting about the mangler and not nailing me to the cross quickly enough for the $2900 in fees he'd expected.
Enter the choppaz!!!
After a few days of "sorry Maurece, I can't get the M7CN for you you have to click the boxes accurately" I suspect Maurece concocted the following email to speed my ass up.
| Quote: |
PR0F. CHARLY SOSO LUD0.
DIRECTOR,KTT DEPT,
CBN PHONETEL:234-88 35501210
CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA
PAYMENT NOTIFICATION Of YOUR FUNDS.
Definitely, I know that this letter will be a
surprising one to you.
Firstly, I will like to introduce myself formally as Prof. Charly Soso lud0, The 3xecutive G0vernor of The Central Bank of Nig3ria (CBN).
You are been officially contacted by me today because your Inheritance Funds were Re-deposited into the "Federal Suspense Account" of CBN last week, because you did not Claim your funds as the Rightful beneficiary in our Corresponding bank.
Well known to all, The Central Bank of Nigeria is the mother Bank of all
commercial Banks here in Nigeria.
This morning at about (9:00am Standard Pacific Time), I was alerted by my Secretary that Three men were at my Office Reception waiting to see me and so I told my Secretary to let them in.
To my surprise they were two Canadians and one Nigerian Attorney, and they introduced themselves as (Mr. T1m Park3r, Mr. R0land Gu1f, both from Canada) and accompanied with them was a Nigerian Attorney with the name (Barrist3r Marck).
Really these men were unexpected by me because their visit was impromptu. I had to ask them why they came to see me in person and they said that they were here to Collect the Inheritance Bill Sum of Twenty Seven Million Dollars(US$27M which rightfully belongs to you, on your behalf. These foreigners actually claimed this beyond reasonable doubts.
At this development I asked them who authorized them to come down to Nigeria for the Collection of this Payment and they told me that you asked them to come and collect this Funds on your Behalf. Infact this was the biggest shock that this Bank have ever received so far because your Inheritance Funds is still in the "Federal Suspense Account" of CBN, yet you sent these men to come and collect this Funds on your behalf without notifying us.
We in this Bank do not understand why you sent these men to come and Collect your Funds on your behalf. If actually you want them to help you Collect your Inheritance Bill Sum, atleast you should have informed me as the Executive Governor of this Bank
They actually tendered some Vital Documents which Proved that you actually sent them for the Collection of this Funds. Honestly, it really baffles me that you took such decision without my consent.
Here are the Document which they tendered to this Bank today:
1. LETTER OF ADMINISTRATION.
2. HIGH COURT INJUCTION.
3. ORDER TO RELEASE
Actually, these Documents which they tendered to this Noble Bank is a clear Proof that you sent them to Collect this Funds for you. Finally, I told them to come back by Monday morning and they promised to come back
As the Governor of this Noble Bank, I was supposed to Release this Funds to them but I refused to do so because I wanted to hear from you first. Due to the Nature of my job, I will not want to make any mistake in Releasing this Funds to anyone except you whom is the Recognised Bonafide Beneficiary to this Funds.
Kindly clarify us on this issue before we make this Payment to these foreigners whom came on your behalf.
In receipt of this confidential Letter, you are required to call this Bank immediately you receive this Confidential Letter. TEL:234-88-34291005
OFFICIALLY SIGNED.
PR0F. CHARLY SOSO LUD0.
DIRECTOR,KTT DEPT,
CBN PHONETEL:234-88 35501210
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My angry blast reply CC'd to the CBN and Maurice demanded an explanation as to why complete strangers were at the bank trying to collect MY MONEY!!!
"ooooo I'm mad Maurece!!! You better give a full account of what is going on if you want one red cent from now on!"
and now, what came this morning...the best yet.
(fanfare
| Quote: |
Anti-Terrorist and Monitory Crimes Division.
Federal Bureau Of Investigation. J. Edgar.
Hoover Building Washington D.C
Telephone Number : (415)-830-3742
This is to Officially inform you that it has come to our notice and we have thoroughly Investigated by the help of our Intelligence Monitoring Network System that you are having an illegal Transaction with Imposters claiming to be Prof. Charles C. Solud0 of the Central Bank Of Nigeria, Mr. Patr1ck Aziz0, Mr Frank Nw3ke, none officials of Oceanic Bank, none officials of Z3nith Bank and imposter claiming to be the Federal Bureau Of Investigation. During our Investigation, it came to our notice that the reason why you have not received your payment is because you have not fulfill your Financial Obligation giving to you in respect of your Contract/Inheritance Payment.
The federal Bureau Of Investigation,Congratulation you Won an ATM Card here in our office.So therefore, we have contacted the Federal Ministry Of Finance on your behalf and they have brought a solution to your problem by arranging your payment in total of US$8,000,000.00 in an ATM CARD which you will use to withdraw money in anywhere of the world. You now have the lawful right to claim your fund in the ATM CARD.
Since the Federal Bureau of Investigation is involved in this transaction, all you did have to do is to be rest assured for this is 100% risk free because it is our right to protect the American Citizens. All I did want you to do is proceed and contact the ATM CARD CENTER via email for their requirements to proceed and procure your Approval Slip on your behalf which will cost you $150.00 only and note that your Approval Slip contains details of your PERSONAL IDENTIFICATION NUMBER (PIN) which you will use in activating your ATM CARD in any ATM MACHINE. CONTACT INFORMATION
NAME: MR. PAU1 SMITH
EMAIL: paulsm1th.atm.centre202@nipp't
Do contact Mr. Pau1 Sm1th of the ATM CARD CENTRE with your full name, home address, mobile telephone number, home telephone number or work telephone number and bank name so your files would be updated after which he will send the payment informations to you which you will use in making payment of $150.00 via Western Union Money Transfer or Money Gram for the procurement of your Approval Slip after which the delivery of your ATM CARD will be effected to your designated home address without any further delay.
We order you get back to this office after you open contact with the ATM SWIFT CARD CENTRE and we do await your response so we can move on with our Investigation and make sure your ATM SWIFT CARD gets to you.
Thanks and hope to read from you soon.
FBI Director Robert Mueller.
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Time to CC and BCC the bank, Maurice, the FBI, the choppaz, the real FBI and ALL other contenders in this worthless pile of drek. Will try to drag this out for a lengthy beating on Maurice's polished asscheeks. |
_________________
D3rrick Blar3 M7CN - 2414 boxes, 68 refreshments, 2 months
"we want to avoid the puzzle thing again because it was really hard for my assistant to do it. And also it takes a lot of time"
Lords0n K0phy
"The method of playing scrabble to generate M7CN cannot be accepted by this company"
"How can Western Union ask a custormer whether he or she has been in witch craft and voodoo"
TOM SL0C0CK:
"After receiving your ID thou it was not that visable but with the use of our ultra-veiw mechain we can see the registration number"
3 oinks  + I r.i.p'd 2 httpz
Last edited by undertowz on Sat Jan 24, 2009 2:52 am; edited 1 time in total |
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embalmer
Not quite a Newb
Joined: 03 Jan 2009
Posts: 64
Location: Where are you again? Oh, I'm only 200 miles away, just over the border!
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| Posted:
Sat Jan 24, 2009 12:44 am |
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Careful of that Pau1 5mith, he won't give me my lotto winnings which are rightfully mine |
_________________
We are security farm that’s why we are careful about realising information to people |
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undertowz
Stooge
Joined: 13 Nov 2008
Posts: 283
Location: location location
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| Posted:
Sat Jan 24, 2009 2:21 am |
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embalmer warns:
| Quote: |
| Careful of that Pau1 5mith |
It's Mr. 5mith that needs to be careful.
WTF. 5mith only asks for $150?
What self-deprecating lad only asks for $150?
| Quote: |
making payment of $150.00 via Western Union Money Transfer or Money Gram for the procurement of your Approval Slip
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We all heard it. Mr. 5mith said the magic word and fate is about to sear his eyelids in a test of will and endurance. Mr. 5mith does not know it but he is on his way to a new place in space and time, a cobalt blue dimension where tiny boxes and endless clicking cause men to lose their sight and minds....a dimension we call
the M A N G L E Z O N E
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_________________
D3rrick Blar3 M7CN - 2414 boxes, 68 refreshments, 2 months
"we want to avoid the puzzle thing again because it was really hard for my assistant to do it. And also it takes a lot of time"
Lords0n K0phy
"The method of playing scrabble to generate M7CN cannot be accepted by this company"
"How can Western Union ask a custormer whether he or she has been in witch craft and voodoo"
TOM SL0C0CK:
"After receiving your ID thou it was not that visable but with the use of our ultra-veiw mechain we can see the registration number"
3 oinks + I r.i.p'd 2 httpz
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