My first twat bait (On his way to Accra)

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Posted: Fri Jan 23, 2009 5:33 pm

The nice thing about the construction manager is that he always has a visa problem. And he speaks very broken English, so he will have a hard time calling or anything like that.

You are executing this bait with great precision. Well done!

Posted: Sat Jan 24, 2009 4:50 am

I just had some time to read around the forums and found this. Excellent work!!

I can't wait to see what happens next. Laughing

Posted: Sat Jan 24, 2009 2:20 pm

Haven't heard from him since this message yesterday.

Quote:

Dear sir,

I am right away at the part cybercafé,and the vachile will leave anytime from this moment.

I believe he actually went to Niamey. Can't wait for an angry email from the twat to confirm this. Smile

I think something happened to Rev Fakmi on the way to Niamey and no-one has heard from him since. Well, after all it is quite dangerous for an old man to travel alone through the desert.

Posted: Sat Jan 24, 2009 4:17 pm

Indeed he went to Niamey, his IP confirms this. He wasn't so pleased that I had deceived him.

Quote:

I never knew you were deceiving me with the name of Almighty God all these while untill i get to tenere hotel this afternoon,and the receiptionist made everything clear to me.It's a terrible situation now to return.

You finally succeeded,but i promise you one thing,you will see my messager spiritually and physically soonest.

I can't wait to meet his messager both spiritually and physically. Laughing

I need to calm him down a little. Mistakes can happen and our reverend somehow mixed up hotel Tenere with hotel Terminus.

Posted: Sat Jan 24, 2009 4:31 pm

Well of course you didn't check in as you were delayed 100 miles away. Actually, there's a town 120km up the road that you stopped at. It's called Tillabery and he has to pass Karma on the way there.

I'm not joking, there really is a village called Karma northwest of Niamey on the way to Tillabery.

Posted: Sat Jan 24, 2009 4:42 pm

Nicely done, HospitalRd! You have one fine TWAT there! Laughing

Trophy Videos · Posted: Sat Jan 24, 2009 6:44 pm

Our lad went to Tilaberi too, and it's a real sucky town. (ie not many willing suckers to scam money off of on the street.) You could have been called for an emergency to Timbucktu, after he misses you in Tilaberi??

Great job, and congratulations on your safari to Niger, HospitalRd! Very Happy

Posted: Sat Jan 24, 2009 10:52 pm

I wonder what is that isreal account and isreal covenant box he is talking about? I suppose with isreal he means Israel?

Quote:

You make me completely stranded,begging for money to eat and how to return back to ouagadougou been came impossible..I bet you,God who i devoted for,hoping you truly wanted to establish his kingdom and risked everything for Niamey would SURELY fight for me spiritually and physically unless,i don't pay my dues to isreal account you will score it free.

Since you breath air,walking on the earth and drinking water,these're the three things i will provoke by the word of God in the Bible to fight for me.

You've only two option before i can believe you honestly,send me some money through western union to book my own hotel untill fakmi or whatever you called him arrive,or you meet me in ouagadougou to clearify yourself otherwise,pls don't mail me again.

Quote:

Listen,unless i didn't borrowed from the isreal covenant box and other's and suffered all the way from ouagadougou to niamey for you,but if i do,you will never no peace,tears and sorrow would be your portion,and from this moment,you will be a begger and a doubtor till the rest of your life.

Tillabery sounds like a lot of fun. My reverend characters car broke down and he had to hitch a ride with a farmer who spoke neither English or French, so there were some misunderstanding and my character ended up in Tillabery instead of Niamey. My reverend character also had to walk for many miles and now his feet are in a bad shape not to mention he also got a heat stroke. It is better to not travel in a few days and instead have our Twat to come to Tillabery. Meanwhile Rev Phystme is promising him a western union transfer just to keep the twat in Niamey.

Posted: Sat Jan 24, 2009 10:56 pm

Congrats HospitalRd! Maybe I should try TWAT in order to do a safari successfully~! Cool

Trophy Videos · Posted: Sun Jan 25, 2009 1:44 am

@HospitalRd - You are doing great! The lad's words are pure music!
"stranded." I hope the mosquitos are still out this time of year. They are awful in the summer in Naimey. Smile

edit: OOOOO! I just came up with a wicked thought. My pet, Joe, while he was stuck in Naimey, befriended a "vulcanizer" as he called him. I believe it was some kind of rubber shop, or tire re-treading shop that was near the main soccer stadium. Across the street he said. Joe stayed with him for awhile, but I'm sure he left owing the guy money for food and internet fees, etc. If your lad can go to the vulcanizer, and tell the guy he is a friend of Joe Carlton Emmanuel, they guy might get mad at your lad, and kick his ass out, or try to find out where Joe is. Might be a funny scene, if the lad actually goes there, and reports back what happened there. Very Happy

Posted: Sun Jan 25, 2009 9:35 am

Thanks for the tip SlapHappy. Maybe the lad could stay with the "vulcanizer" until I get that Western Union transfer to him for his hotel fees or something like that. Very Happy

I hope the knowledge of a western union has calmed him down. Also I requested an apology for talking in that way to Rev Phystme.

Posted: Sun Jan 25, 2009 4:28 pm

Finally I get a mail from the lad and it seems the safari is unfortunately over. IP confirms he's back in Ouagadougou. But let our lad himself summarize the bait here.

Quote:

First of all,to God Almighty be the glory for granted me journey mercies back to ouagadougou this afternoon,for he says,in all situation,we should give thanks.

It seems i'm a fool (mugu) in your sight,of course NO.Unlike i made myself clearly enough to you,i am a gospel missionary who has been believing God by all means for financial blessings to enable me erect my tower of praise and lunch out some of my album this year.This's the main character i did everything possible even,in doubt to embraced you thought it was answer for my prayers,untill i found out you came to steal,kill and to destroy.

Listen attentively to know that i'm not a fool,I requested for your identify both phone and picture for proper identification when i get to hotel tenere,you sluggishly gave me someone else picture and claimed it was famki,secretray and other person also with non functioning america phone number,i called to verify it,it was switched to anwsering machine,i asked you why,you said it was control phone number,i kept quite and accept with faith.

Secondly,before i left for niamey,i asked you many times,where is our meeting point in niamey,is't in the same hotel tenere or esle where,you said clearly to me,you will meet me at hotel tenere even book room and dinner.You gave me the hotel phone number,but said i shouldn't call yet untill you finalise with the hotel,i said ok no problem.

Then,I successfully borrowed some money from the isreal covenant box in my church by my spiritual father,he warned me seriously from the begining to be extremely careful about
you,after his three days fasting and praying for God revelation.But i couldn't listen untill i saw everything myself.

1)I relied on your promises and suffered long distance journey without food,no wonder God said in the book of psalm,don't put your trust in prince nor princeses for they will dispoint you,but put all your trust in God who can do all things.

2)I was totally humiliated by the hotel managements,even calling me many names i couldn't bear.

3)I suffered hundred percent degree cold outside the motor park,completely stranded.

4)And i sold my only phone with cheapest price to enable me return back ouagadougou.

I wasted my time,strenght,money and you made me a doubtor to isreal covenant box and friend's to make sure the kingdom of the Most high God you promised here is establish,not known that you're just a deceiver,

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaahahaha,unless i didn't suffered for you in total danger you will score it free otherwise,be ready for God's reward he kept for those who call his name invain.And calamity must befall on you and your generation as your prize in Jesus.

You've ordained me as your reverend,and only reverend's have right to spend church money for travellling as you said,right?So if you need your twat or whatever in ouagadougou,as a missionary of God,just feel free to come down in person to establish it under my supervision,if it's God's will,or you send me 500$ cash through western union as your reverend then,i will return to niamey,book my own hotel and mail you the contact to meet me there.

Anything contrary to this,please for God sake,HOLD YOUR PEACE.Meanwhile,i will publish this dastardly act with google,yahoo and other widow's i can access before this weekend,as quickly as it's ready,i will definitely send you some copies,i promise.

He was just 120km away from the $200,000 and he just gave up? It's not so easy to be a Tw@t member. Maybe some phonecalls would have kept him convinced to go further. It's so sad to see the safari end but I'm happy with my first ever safari. I don't think I will get this guy to do anything more so I'm already looking forward to recruit my next Tw@t. Very Happy

Any idea what he is trying to say in that last line I bolded?

Posted: Sun Jan 25, 2009 4:30 pm

If you have his phone number, perhaps Dan can call him on the show which comes on in a couple hours.

Posted: Sun Jan 25, 2009 6:14 pm

Quote:

i will publish this dastardly act

Maybe he is the new Shakespeare.

Congrats on the safar1.

Laughing

No doubt the thread will become a literary appreciation society, with the more literate posting baiting theme play titles.

"Wherefore out thou M7CN"

Henry the chopper part 4.

Posted: Sun Jan 25, 2009 7:56 pm

Awesome 1st safari!! That guy is so pissed. Laughing

Posted: Sun Jan 25, 2009 7:59 pm

The guy is so dumb, he'd be dead if breathing wasn't an involuntary nervous instinct. He was on the show and sounds like he was drunk.

Posted: Sun Jan 25, 2009 8:10 pm

Great job on the safari, Hospital!

I really think this TWAT is yours forever. If he isn't dead now. (We can only hope!)

Very Happy

Posted: Sun Jan 25, 2009 8:13 pm

Thank you for giving this guy to me to play with!!! He was a bundle of fun and definitely on something!

Well done Hospital Rd - Pure Kudos to you, I look forward to more of your baits...

Posted: Sun Jan 25, 2009 9:05 pm

Excellent job HR! I love reading letters like that from pissed off lads. Of course, you will have to blame him for everything that went wrong. Perhaps you can salvage his trust in you and play him some more. Very Happy

Posted: Sun Jan 25, 2009 9:12 pm

Don't forget to claim (and add) your pith helmet, Hospital - you've earned it!

Posted: Sun Jan 25, 2009 9:43 pm

Thank you all for your nice comments!

I don't think the lad has much trust in the Tw@t church anymore, he's quite pissed off. But maybe he'll be ready for a new bait soon.

P.S. Maybe someone could PM me how to claim the pith helmet, please? I'm still a newbie.

Posted: Sun Jan 25, 2009 9:46 pm

Just put the word "pith" your signature line, and then put a : on either side. That gives you Safari

Posted: Sun Jan 25, 2009 9:48 pm

Here are all the siggy icons explained: clicky Very Happy

Posted: Sun Jan 25, 2009 10:37 pm

Answer to question 4 on page 6 is priceless... what a TW@T. Well done Hospital, nice job.

Posted: Sun Jan 25, 2009 11:30 pm

HR, nice work! Hahaha, I laughed pretty hard at your lads post safari email!

Thumbs up

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