My first twat bait (On his way to Accra)

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Posted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 3:04 pm

I'm quite new with baiting and none of my previous baits went very far because many times I lost interest when the bait was going nowhere. I have been reading about the various Twat scams and thought I would give it a try myself.

Meet S@w@dogo Ala1n from Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso who was very eager to join twat right from the start. Here are his application forms.

This new twat member complained he doesn't have the material to build the twat pyramid according to the instructions. He wanted to build it with dry grass. Sure I wanted to see what he would come up with using dry grass so I told him to give it a try. But as expected I'm not very impressed by his attempt. See for yourself.

My character reverend Ur1el Fakm1 is currently doing missionary work in Agadez in Niger. I told the lad I have the $200.000 grant money waiting here and have now set up a meeting in Niamey. But before reverend Fakm1 travels the long and dangerous road from Agadez to Niamey I need to see a much better twat pyramid.

Posted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 3:10 pm

I'd say this one is hooked, completely.

Good job. Very Happy

Posted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 3:13 pm

You have a very nice set of baiting pictures there. clapping

Getting anything out of a Lad isn't easy, but you have a full set.

My only complaint is that I suspect his pyramid is only two dimensional.

In the Church of Twat surely taking a short cut by missing out a dimension like that is cheating, and how could he do that under the 'all seeing eye' ?

I think he needs to put it right before he is cursed.

Posted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 3:13 pm

Very nice!

Obviously, there are a couple of problems with the "pyramid", but getting a lad to do any amount of physical labor is near miraculous.

There might be an opportunity here. The is supposed to be three dimensional so the lad can later climb it to light the "brown eye" and then fall off of it backwards for his flock to catch him. But perhaps in this lad's case, you can make an exception. If you can get him to build an actual 3D pyramid out of dry grass (really dry grass hopefully) imagine the fun if/when the pyramid that he is standing on suddenly bursts into flames. Very Happy

To get this to happen, you will have to instruct him to really soak the brown eye heavily in alcohol before lighting it.

Congrats on a whole pile of excellent trophies!

Edit: On a side note, I have seen my fair share of TWATs in my day. Thank God that none of them looked like the one that he drew. I wonder if he got confused and drew Jojobean's silhouette instead?

Posted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 3:17 pm

Does anyone else find the drawing of what the TWAT should look like hilarious? I've got tears running down my face.

That pyramid would be nice getting set on fire.

That's a mighty fine twat you have there. I really enjoyed that trophy set. Congrats!

Posted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 3:49 pm

Thanks for the comments!

Yes the pyramid seems to be only two dimensional but at least I got good laughs out of it. I think I will start workin on getting that pyramid on fire. I already have an idea I will try out. This lad has been so easy and effortless to work with that I believe its possible to have him to do that.

He wants to travel to Niamey as soon as possible, but maybe he should do a "holy ritual" of lighting up the "brown eye" first. Very Happy

Posted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 4:10 pm

Hospital, this is some really great work. Congratulations. Smile

Posted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 4:12 pm

The "holy ritual" that you speak of is the Ordination Cerimony, where he becomes a TWAT minister. You can find the instructions for the cerimony in the "TWAT for Dummies" thread. That thread used to be a sticky but isn't any longer. I will hunt that one down and post the link for it here.

EDIT: Here you go... http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=137622

Posted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 4:20 pm

HospitalRd wrote:

He wants to travel to Niamey as soon as possible, but maybe he should do a "holy ritual" of lighting up the "brown eye" first. Very Happy

Naimey is really not that far from Timbuktu. I think you should push for him to get to there after Naimey.

Posted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 4:24 pm

Congrats on your first TWAT! I can't wait to see what other misery you can put him through.

You might want to warn him, the big bad wolf may come along and blow his sticks down Wink

Posted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 4:31 pm

Nice work, HospitalRd! A good TWAT is hard to find. Can't wait to see him on a safari.

Very Happy

Baiting Guru Joined: 04 Dec 2005 Posts: 3551

HospitalRd, that is an excellent set of trophies! His pyramid looks he used part of a grass roof. Very Happy

Posted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 5:34 pm

Great stuff, HospotalRD ! clapping

Posted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 5:36 pm

I still have to try one of these TW4T baits one of these days.
They seem like they can be such a blast. Laughing

Posted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 6:04 pm

Great work, HospitalRd! Very Happy

Posted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 6:05 pm

I'm letting him now that we don't think his TW@T pyramid is really up to the standards. But we are so eager to open a new TW@T church in Burkina Faso that we are making an exception in the strict rules of the church. Especially as Rev Phystme (I'm using him as the other character) had a vision about the burning "brown eye" during his after-dinner nap. This can only mean that the higher powers wants us to see an Ordainment Ceremony. Of course there has to be photos of this ceremony too.

Also I'm letting him know that Rev Fakmi is preparing his journey with the money towards Niamey. This is an obedient lad, he must really believe those $200.000 dollars will be his soon. He will also be loaning the money for his trip to Niamey.

By the way he named the church to be built in Burkina to 'Twat Tower of Praise' Very Happy

Posted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 6:16 pm

You might want to have a look at this ordination cerimony performed by the original TWAT.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0FV5fW8dXA

Posted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 8:13 pm

Well done Hospital Rd. clapping

I'm looking forward to further hilarious updates. Laughing

Posted: Fri Jan 23, 2009 1:37 pm

I needed to slap him a little but now it seems he will do the Ordainment Ceremony and then leave for Niamey. Of course I told him he need to take several photos and e-mail them to Rev Phystme.

This is the latest email I got.

Quote:

Dear sir,

Thanks for your feedback and consideration,i will light up the eye and perform the ritual with the same people by raising our hands up towards the holy heaven and snap the picture.By the grace of God,I will book my ticket this afternoon to meet reverend Fakmi in Niamey tomorrow evening along with the picture.

Is the Hotel Tenre on Boulevard de la Liberté our meeting point in Niamey,or some where else?Pls quickly let me know hence,the given phone number isn't working directly in Niamey.

Indeed waiting
Yours In Christ,
Sawad0g0.

Posted: Fri Jan 23, 2009 1:42 pm

Quote:

Thanks for your feedback and consideration,i will light up the eye and perform the ritual with the same people by raising our hands up towards the holy heaven and snap the picture.

Pure poetry my friend. You have a good TWAT.

Posted: Fri Jan 23, 2009 4:06 pm

The Twat has now performed the ritual allthough he didn't do it according to the rules. But here are the photos he sent me. Enjoy!

Here is the email I got with the photos.

Quote:

Dear sir,

Honestly speaking,i couldn't have committed myself in this matter untill i meet you eye to eye.But God's endless love for mankind is marvellous in my sight despite he has chosen me,it's the reason why i am doing all these even in doubt to show little appreciation.

However,i started removing the mounment after i snaped the pictures to avoid the landlord harrassment moreso,beliving it's all over but,thank God i still have the front page to participated the ritual with the new member's.

Please listen to me sir,YOU CAN ONLY PUBLISH THE PICTURES ON YOUR WEBPAGE AND PREPARE A STORY OF OPENING THE BURKINA FASO CHURCH WHEN I HAVE CONFIRM REVEREND FAKMI IN PERSON IN NIAMEY,AND AS QUICKLY AS THE WEBPAGE AND THE CHURCH STORY IS READY,PLEASE SEND SOME COPY TOO FOR VERY IMPORTANT REASON.

I will apprecaite you give me the hotel phone number to enable me call when arrive Niamey,if you will to book the room and dinner for me,fine.Enclosed here are the two pics i could able to snaped during the ritual performance,while I looking forward to see you in Burkina faso next month as you promised.

Once ahain,I have bought my ticket and the vachile will leave soonest so,quickly send the hotel number now,ok?

Best regards,
Sawad0g0.

He is ready for a safari I think. Is it ok to give him a real hotel phone number? Also any ideas for the next step with this twat? I can see potential in this Twat.

Posted: Fri Jan 23, 2009 4:16 pm

Now that he is a "minister" (if that is what you did... that is what the ordination cerimony is supposed to do) it is time to begin construction of the new TWAT cathedral.

It's a good thing that TWAT has a construction engineer. He is the guy that surveys the plot of land that the new cathedral will be built upon. He is also the guy that brings the lad his money. In addition to the money, the construction engineer will have the black granite, hand carved, stone alter that will be placed at the construction site while the cathedral is being built.

The altar is huge, and quite heavy. As a result, it can only be sent by ship, not by air. Port Harcourt is a nice port from what I hear. That seems like a nice place for the lads first safari. Sadly, the ship will have mechanical issues about the same time that the lad arrives in Port Harcourt. As a result, the ship will land up at another port in another "near by" country.

Posted: Fri Jan 23, 2009 4:31 pm

Yes, he's a minister now. My original plan was to get him to Niamey first and then get him to some remote desert town. I think it might be too risky now to change the plans as we already made plans to meet with Rev Fakmi in Niamey.

Rev Fakmi is currently driving through the desert from Agadez to Niamey by himself so anything could happen to him. Reverend Fakmi is not able to communicate with anyone until in Niamey so I could either have him get completely lost or have his car break down or something silimar.

Posted: Fri Jan 23, 2009 4:53 pm

Fair enough. Well, it is always a good "plan B". The construction engineer thing works wonders. One other benefit of that plan is that you make your lad secure a truck before your arrival with the altar. That causes a lot of grief as well.

Now, wherever you priest character is heading, make sure that you have an excuse as to why you cannot speak to him from a local phone. Being out in the sticks is always a good one. Having a "satellite phone" is another thing to have, especially one that you need to dial a US free K7 number to reach.

Being out in the sticks also makes it impossible for you to send him money, because there are not WU outlets out where you are.

Posted: Fri Jan 23, 2009 5:10 pm

Thanks for the tips YW. I will see if I can introduce the construction engineer into the plot. Maybe we just forgot to tell him that the church altar will be sent to him asap. Reverends have so much on their mind so it's easy to forget such a "minor" detail.

I chose the desert location because that would be an easy excuse for not being able to call or show up in time. I think this lad has money even though he said he needs to loan the money. He is writing emails at times when most Internet cafes should be closed, which means he owns a Internet connection? Also he didn't ask money from the church for the trip to Niamey. Or then this is just a very stupid Twat.

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