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 Which one of you is responsible for this?

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jose_cuervo
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Joined: 01 Mar 2006
Posts: 7859
Location: Blackacre


PostPosted: Sun Jan 18, 2009 5:13 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I think I picked Mr Micheal Lopez up on an ASEM.

A few emails back and forth, and I break the news to him that I cant help him because he is not a confirmed member of the church. He asks what he needs to do to become a member of the church, and actually sounds like he might take the bait.

At this point I sent my church's standard script explaining that confirmation requires a tattoo.

And to my surprise...
Mr Micheal Lopez wrote:
Why are you disturbing yourself to know me?, don't you know that i am smarter than you? please stop fooling yourself and go help your useless family...asshole....fuck off...idiot


Someone's a bit touchy! Laughing

I figure at this point there's nothing to lose so I send this.
Quote:
You un-Godly bastard child of Satan! How dare you use that filthy
language with me? I am a man of God and I am not going out of my way
to know you. YOU CONTACTED ME!

Your profane language will be your downfall and when the gates of
hell open up and swallow your vile soul, you will choke on the
blasphemous words that you used here on earth. Satan will surely
punish your anus, vigorously and repeatedly, with a red hot poker for
eternity!

Repenting of your sins will not save you now!

Father xxxxx
Director of Accounting
xxxxx Ministries


He replies. I think he really wants to believe, but then again I'm an optimist. Laughing
Mr Micheal Lopez wrote:
I C, BUT MIND YOU YOU WON'T GET ME BECAUSE I AM SMARTER THAN YOU, YOU THINK THAT I AM A SCAMMER? YOU WANT TO PEASTE MY PHOTO ON YOUR WEBSITE, MAY GOD PUNISH YOU BASTARD FOOL


I would never do such a thing! So now I play dumb...
Quote:
What are you talking about, are you a Godless homosexual or something??

Father xxxxx
Director of Accounting
xxxxx Ministries


He replies again.
Mr Micheal Lopez wrote:
But what am saying is truth you want to paste my Picture on Website, Why did you want to do that why?


Quote:
I do not want to paste your picture on any website, and what
website is this of which you speak?
I do not understand most of the things
about the internet because I have not had access to it until recently
in my lifetime.

I thought you wanted to join the church, you seemed genuinely
interested, but once I explained the procedures, you cursed me and
called me an idiot.

I am not an idiot, I am of average intelligence and a very kind
hearted person. I am 78 years old, very religious and of no mind to
involve my self with naked pictures of men - or women - on the
internet. That would serve no purpose other than to defile my
everlasting soul. Which in truth is not mine to defile, it belongs to
the Lord, our God, Jesus Christ. So please do not make false charges
against my character when you know not of which you speak.

Psalm 14
(blah, blah, blah)

So says the Good Book, AMEN!

Father xxxx
Director of Accounting
xxxx Ministries


Anyone think he'll send me a link? Very Happy

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Master
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 18, 2009 7:50 am Reply with quoteBack to top

he must have been burned bad by someone that for sure Laughing

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SlapHappy
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 18, 2009 1:12 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Either burned himself, or he's friends with Famous of the Wicked safari. Laughing

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GomerPyle
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 18, 2009 1:26 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

There's a procedure for getting a photo withdrawn from a website. Very Happy

You need a link to his photo, of course, and another photo marked 'habeas corpus photo', which means bring me a photo of the body Shocked so that you know he is, who he says he is, then you can work to remove it.

Meanwhile we can get him added to the G0merBoyz website. Laughing

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OxygenDeprived
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 18, 2009 1:38 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I think this is what his email should have said
Mr Micheal Lopez wrote:

I C, BUT MIND YOU YOU WON'T GET ME YET AGAIN BECAUSE I AM SMARTER THAN YOU...


Sounds like his defenses are waning, nicely played Jose!

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Farkward
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 18, 2009 6:20 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I would write back from another account, from the President of the Church, apologize for the Director of Accounting's actions and deeds, and offer a conciliatory approach. Director has been fired for his harsh words.

I would tell them that in your ministry, you've heard of a lot of poor people being extorted for money by sending in embarrassing photos of their family and friends, and that you've helped many of these church members have them removed through legal channels, and be given money for damages. There is a court in the US which handles American Internet scams like this.

I would then kindly offer my assistance, offering a prayer of hope for all of Africa in these trying times.
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jose_cuervo
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Joined: 01 Mar 2006
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 18, 2009 9:51 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

He's still on the hook oooooooooo Shocked

Mr Micheal Lopez wrote:
For me to be convinced send me your picture with the tatoo and also two other members with same tatoo on there body...then I will belong immediately.


My PS Elements 3.0 doesn't work worth a crap on Vista, I need someone with some l337 choping skilz to help with this one. jump_4_joy

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hippy6
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 18, 2009 10:02 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Or a Sharpee. Wink

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Roycropper
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 18, 2009 10:14 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
your picture with the tatoo and also two other members with same tatoo


These any help? some of my members, with the sample template:

Image

Image

Image


Image

I have lots more, but they are forum blowout sized, and I should know better than post them here.. I could always pm you the boatofucket links though.

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from the Hollow
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 18, 2009 10:40 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^ you have to be nude to get a tattoo on your arm?
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jose_cuervo
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 18, 2009 10:45 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Thanks Roy, I'm going to use the one with all of the lads together and mak a few quick changes, I knocked a few up real quick, but don't know how believable they will be. Sad

Here's what I've got so far. Think he'll buy it?

Image

Image

Image

Image

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BluthBanana
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 2:58 am Reply with quoteBack to top

@jose - I think they look fine. Hopefully he buys it and joins the club! Wink

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Vulcan
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:27 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Heres a little something I whipped up

Image

Very Happy

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Vulcan
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:35 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Image

Heres another. I also gave axl a mysterious 3rd nipple, for no reason whatsoever.


EDIT: and one more member!

Image


DOUBLE EDIT: whoops guess your tattoo is something else (419 in roman numerals I assume, heh) Oh well. Anyone are free to use the ones I made.

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jose_cuervo
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:50 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Thanks Vulcan, but I'm going for a different tattoo than Roy's. I don't want to post it in text here on the forums because my lad may google it.

I think I've found an update for my PS 3.0 and I'm going to give it a try in the morning.

Good photochops though, and welcome! Very Happy

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jose_cuervo
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 20, 2009 8:04 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Update... He's teetering on the fence now but will he fall?

Mr Micheal Lopez wrote:
For me to be convinced send me your picture with the tatoo and also two other members with same tatoo on there body...then I will belong immediately.


Quote:
Mr Lopez,

If that is all you wished to see, then why did you not just ask for me
to send you pictures prior to cursing and insulting me with
profanities? I will be happy to send you pictures of myself and some
other members of the church with the tattoo.

I will have to get my secretary to scan them for me and I will send
them to you this afternoon.




Mr Micheal Lopez wrote:
ok I am expecting it then



Quote:
Mr. Lopez,

Here are the photographs, as you requested.

#1 Myself and my lovely wife of 25 years, Mrs. Tige at the church
Christmas services this year. As you can see, my wife has the tattoo
on her left upper arm.
#2 Myself at the church swimming pool last summer. As you can see, I
have my tattoo on my chest.
#3 Miss Minge Gobber, also taken at the Christmas service this year.
Miss Gobber is my personal assistant. As you can see, her tattoo is on
her right shoulder.
#4 Our new young Reverend Bolloks and his lovely wife, Mrs. Bolloks at
the Christian youth dance night last fall. As you can see, their
tattoos are on their left upper arms.
#5 Father Braxton and Reverend Marley are present during the tattoo
placement of the new Reverend Jojobean at our missionary church
chapter in Kingston, Jamaica. The man applying the tattoo has no
direct affiliation with the church.

I now expect a full apology for the harsh things that you said to me
and the vulgar language that you were so quick to use. In the future,
you should learn to control your tongue and not behave like an unruly
child if you do not have an understanding of something. Keeping your
mouth shut and your ears open are the best way to learn something new.

Good day to you Sir,

Father xxxx
Director of Accounting
xxxx Ministries


Mr Micheal Lopez wrote:
Sir, I check on the Church online but no such name found, sorry but i am just trying to protect myself.

blessings

I think he's about to crack. Laughing
Quote:
Mr. Lopez,

The church does not have a website for advertisement purposes. The
xxxx Ministries is well known throughout North and South America, and
there is no need for such a thing. We do however, have a website that
only our members can log into (link to blank page behind a login)
Unfortunately I am unable to allow you access to the website because
you are not a confirmed member.

And I still await the apology.

Father xxxx
Director of Accounting
xxxx Ministries

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