Really worried about my sister in law

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Posted: Mon Jan 26, 2009 9:59 pm

I have to agree put your hand up and look after the children there should be no rush to sign any papers give your brother time to greave as well as the children. The best place for them is with there father and his kind sister they have to see and feel the pain that he is feeling so that they know how much she ment to him . & it will help him pull him self up out of were he is at .
Can i just say that i have been were your brother is now and it was my kids that brought me back from being so low that i didn't want to live any more im glade they were there to lean on as well as my sisters and friends

Quote:

Don't make any decisions you may later regret. You are in no state to make such choices. I'm sure the social workers and counselors will tell you the same thing. If they don't, then they do not have the best interest of the children at heart.

Posted: Mon Jan 26, 2009 11:02 pm

Phoebe : I feel for your loss and also know the pain of losing a sister, but mine had a full life and 3 kids. I lost her 4 days before Christmas last year. I think that the most important thing at this point is not to lock in stone any adoption at this time. by all means take the children and nurture them, But your brother needs them too. in all probability, he is in total shell shock & feelings of loss. it can be debilitating and take a while to get back on track. He may not realize it yet,but he needs the children. I will pray for all of you.

Warmonger

Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 12:03 am

Phoebe,

You mentioned books a while back. "When Bad Things Happen To Good People" by Harold Kushner is a very healing and thought provoking book. It's older (1981) but grief and the human condition are timeless. Prayers to you & your brother for strength & wise decisions during this difficult time.

Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 7:21 am

Quite a bit late to this. I'm very sorry about your loss. I know this may seem like coming from a smart alec idiot, but it's important to think of the future for those left behind.

You want to help and care for the kids and your brother. That is good and positive. I wish the best for you, and you will be in my thoughts.

Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 8:33 am

you also have my condolences.
ill sugest a book, the total money makeover, by dave ramsey. might help with some of the financial issues that are sure to arise.
i will pitch up a prayer for your family as well

Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 11:28 am

So sorry for your loss, It's very hard when little one's are affected, and they simply don't understand, and it's hard trying to explain why there mum is no longer there.
As for your brother, the only thing he has now is his children, And while it seems impossable now, they will bring him out of his depression, care for his children by all means, But please don't allow him to sign away his rights to them.
And really there is no need for any agency to be involved, it's family business.
But good luck to you, and I really hope things work out , and given time these things always resolve themselves

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