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 Wikipedia, West Ham and Oblivion

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Master Baiter

Joined: 09 Oct 2008
Posts: 187
Location: The toilet

PostPosted: Tue Jan 06, 2009 10:17 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

This was quite a short bait - other things on the go so I just used him to try a script out on. He'd sent some script or other into my catcher account so I passed him onto my colleague.

The lad asked for a resume! Too good an opp for some BS so I looked around the room and noticed a copy of Oblivion lying around, and a former West Ham goalkeeper had came up in conversation the night before so must have been floating around in my head.

Hence this....

Mr Brown,

Please find attached a high quality scan of my passport.

As for my resume I have studied at both Universities of Cyrodill - Imperial and Bravil. I also studied Oblivion Gate Theory under Professor Uriel Septim during my tenure at Kvatch.

I feel that these academic achievments, coupled with my Redguard skills, mean I am more than capable of adjusting to any roles.

You enquired about the amount of money you may bring into the country. If you are travelling into the country from member states of the European Union there are no limits.

The EU States are Austria, Belgium, Bulgaria, Cyprus, the Czech Republic, Denmark, Estonia, Finland, France, Germany, Gibraltar, Greece, Hungary, Ireland, Italy, Latvia, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Malta, the Netherlands, Poland, Portugal, Romania, Slovakia, Slovenia, Spain, Sweden, and the United Kingdom.

If you are arriving from outside the EU however then any amount over £10,000 must be declared to UK Customs Officials. If Customs suspect that the money is to be used for illegal or fraudulent activity then it may be seized.

To avoid Customs here I would suggest you book two separate flights. One from Benin to mainland Europe and then a further flight from Europe to the United Kingdom which will then not be subject to the same rigourous checks.

Well Met,

Ludek Miklosko

The high quality scan was of course near 5 megs of junk. Oops. My lads no fool however - he does his background check!

Dear Ludek Miklosko
I must say that i am highly impressed with your resume and your brief on European Union membership.But the person i have in mind is: comment now before we proceed:
Luděk "Ludo" Mikloško (born 9 December 1961 in Prostějov) is a former Czech football goalkeeper. He is also currently employed as the Goalkeeping coach to West Ham United Football Club.
Ludo Miklosko started his career in his native Czechoslovakia with Banik Ostrava. His talent was noted by West Ham United who snapped him up in February 1990. A brave and excellent shot stopper with a huge clearance kick, he went on to play 374 times for the team. He was named Hammer of the Year in 1991. He is well remembered for a man of the match performance against Manchester United on the last day of the 1994/95 season where West Ham drew 1-1 with Manchester United to help secure Blackburn Rovers their first league title in over 80 years. He was eventually sold to Queens Park Rangers in 1998 for a nominal fee after a successful loan spell.
Miklosko received 41 caps for the Czech Republic. He retired due to injury in 2001. He then returned to West Ham, where he took up a goalkeeping coaching role.
mr james brown

Hmmm, no mention of Kvatch, Uriel Septim and all the other RPG gubbins I threw his way. Perhaps he's not that smart after all. And when a lad pulls a trick like that and then signs himself off as James Brown..... well it'd be rude not to do likewise!

Mr James Brown,

Thankyou for your email. I am indeed aware of the former footballer Ludek Miklosko. The fact that we share the same name is often commented on! I am no relation to Mr Miklosko however. Indeed, it is one of my plans for the future to research my family history and see if I am distantly related to him.

While we are on the subject of shared names I am sure you are aware of this man!

*James Joseph Brown, Jr.* (May 3, 1933 – December 25, 2006), commonly referred to as "The Godfather of Soul", the "King of Funk", "Soul Brother #1" and "The Hardest Working Man in Show Business", was an American entertainer . He is recognized as one of the most influential figures in 20th century popular music and was renowned for his vocals and feverish dancing.

As a prolific singer, songwriter and bandleader, Brown was a pivotal force in the music industry. He left his mark on numerous artists. Brown's music also left its mark on the rhythms of African popular music , such as afrobeat, jùjú and mbalax , and provided a template for go-go music.

Brown began his professional music career in 1953 and rose to fame during the late 1950s and early 1960s on the strength of his thrilling live performances and string of smash hits. In spite of various personal problems and setbacks he continued to score hits in every decade through the 1980s. In addition to his acclaim in music, Brown was a presence in American political affairs during the 1960s and 1970s, noted especially for his activism on behalf of fellow African Americans and the poor.

Ludek Miklosko

Lad comes up with a feasible story however - certainly better than mine I must admit Embarassed

can i have your phone number
yes my father is a big fan of papa jb as a student in the usa in the 60s he gave birth to me and called me james brown fadey( fadeyi our family name)i adopted the name james brown due to my love for his music
presently i have all collection of his known works passed unto me by my late father
meanwhile, i have difficult opening your scan to poass to the lawyer for the legalisationb
i want to speek to you and i am sure you have phone number
best regards
mr james brown

Shame the pic doesn't work - some PC advice and a Flextel number should help.


I do indeed have a phone number - *************.

Why could you not open my passport? It works perfectly well on my computer. I will send the file again incase it became corrupted en route or have you managed to get it working?

Does your PC run Windows Vista? If not I would get it upgraded. You may also need a new Graphic Interface Romulan Chip?

Ludek Miklosko

I'd put my email address in wrong for my Flextel message service so I missed 5 messages from him Crying or Very sad

He let me know - but then cheered me up no end with the name of his lawyer. Football crazy this lad!

while i am complaining that i cant open your attatch id , i am having problem speeking to u on the above line , check if i am correct in the composition
however i am off with my family to obtain my visa in the capital and i want you to continue with tony my lawyer who will recieve the id and head to the court for the affidavit which is a requiste for the bank here to remit fund into your norminated account prior to my arrival, contact him now on email tonyadams**@******.***
he will give you his phone number, send him also your id in a more simple format like microsoft
best regards
mr james broiwn

I thought it best to address the technical issues and legalities first however.

Mr Brown,

The phone number looks fine. I can't understand why you can't get through however. Very strange.

I will re-scan my ID and send it to your lawyer tomorrow. Since you are using a lawyer would it be best if I got in contact with my solicitor at this end?

Ludek Miklosko

Lads not overly keen on me seeking legal advice - and he's still not happy with the phone not working.

dear ludek miklosko
i am once more trying the line,can u hear the message i dropped on your line
i dont like mistery lines and character
time will come when you will involve your lawyer that is when we get to the stage of signing the investment agreement but meanwhile my lawyer is under intructioins to notorise your name and remit the funt into your account via the holding bank here
you better get in touch with him now
mr james brown

Can't say I blame him - who does like "mistery lines and character"?

Time to tackle (pun-tastic eh kids?) that Tony Adams issue....back to Wikipedia.

Mr Brown,

Please accept my apologies regarding your calling my phone. I can't see why you cannot get through but I have arranged for an engineer to visit next week to try and rectify the problem.

I will contact your Lawyer shortly - I see he is called Tony Adams. I found this.....

Tony Alexander Adams, MBE (born 10 October 1966 in Romford, Greater London) is an English football manager and former defender. He is currently manager of English Premier League side Portsmouth.

He spent his entire playing career of 22 years[2] at Arsenal, and is considered one of the club's greatest players of all time by the club's own fans[3] and was included in the Football League 100 Legends. He wore the number 6 shirt for Arsenal and 5 for England. With Arsenal, he won four top flight division titles, three FA Cups, two Football League Cups, a UEFA Cup Winners' Cup, and three FA Community Shield

Your's Sincerely,
Ludek Miklosko

Also, thought I should get in touch with Mr.Adams himself.

Mr Adams,

My name is Ludek Miklosko. I have been instructed to contact you regarding Mr James Brown. Not the soul singer but the fellow from Benin.

Could you please tell me what actions are required for his investment?

Yours Sincerely,

Ludek Miklosko

Don't think Mr Brown appreciated it though - bit of a disappointing sign-off from the Godfather of Soul

you are a big time joker

I poked him but he didn't answer - Maybe I'll try an apology and try and get him going again. Lads tend to be a touch more emotive the second time they realise you're a time-waster!

"guy na dey make mouth na God give u no be by ur power, So go fuck ur self, Fool."
"if you do not change your ways, you will die poor, wretch."
"the earlier you souled determings the earlier you rip it, i love you"
Closed lad accounts x5
Safari Afua, The Worried Girl - Accra, Ghana to Cotonou, Benin. "Am very tired and i need to go have some rest. I don't think i will go out tomorrow." Thanks Blah!
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