Silly question about child crush on me

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Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 8:56 pm

HaveFaith wrote:

I took a psychology class a year ago and this is a phase that young boys and girl go through. young girls will usually lust after a father or father figure and vise versa with young boys they will lust after there mother or a mother figure. It is a phase that most children go through. Im trying to remember what this is called I will have to find my book and look it up.

but its just a phase.

Oedipus or Electra complex and it some times goes away...

Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 10:01 pm

Dillema solved (I hope) Laughing

I started to treat her like one of our beloved pets. Cool

I mean, I inserted my 20something girlfriend into the equation.
Laughing

made them both jealous. Maybe they'll start a catfight over me!
One of my longtime dreams! Laughing

Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 10:44 pm

I'm a little saddened that our world now leans towards such caution around children. Their funny comments are a joy, and we're scaring each other (and them) by being so paranoid about them.
A colleague (and family friend) of mine had a daughter aged about 8 (long ago now) and she promised me she would marry me one day (I was in my 20's at the time). I never had to worry about whether I was alone with her, or whether her parents knew word for word what she had said... I just laughed about it and thought it was sweet. She just grew out of it. She was 8 for God's sake. Kids don't know what a husband really is... It's all play and fun, and it just means she likes you.

I never had to have in depth discussions with the poor girl, or my friend. It was just forgotten about, quite soon after.

Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 11:38 pm

8 years old and doesn't think boys are yucky or icky? Sounds like good harmless fun. My princess has a crush on Bob the Builder and Captain Kirk, so seriously, don't read anything into it.

Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2008 1:54 am

@ Nurse Nasty
Hehe, I'm more like an unshaven, long haired Spock. Well... I guess all this happened because of a lack of strong parental figure. Her pa is a s****d fat b*****d who enjoys watching porn instead spending quality time with only daughter. And her ma, bitching (I am sorry, I do not remember the EXACT English word, but I know there is one) around all the time, cannot put some sense into her husband's only living brain cell.

Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2008 2:06 am

red flags red flags red flags

Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2008 3:46 am

@ Kabuto Sama - You missed my point. You asked about a child and a crush, which we've said is nothing more than a mild infatuation which will pass and move onto some mythical figure. Hence the example I gave you of my princess. Don't feel special. It happens all the time.

Now before this conversation gets any weirder than it already has and we've solved this current dilemma, is there anything of value to add?

Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2008 10:26 am

@ Nurse Nasty
Very Happy

nope, case closed. (I hope)

Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2008 2:28 pm

Mugatu wrote:

I'm a little saddened that our world now leans towards such caution around children.

I'm with you on that. I think that kind of stuff is hilarious. Now, I don't have kids, so maybe that's why. And, I also think it's funny to teach kids mischievous stuff. But, people are a bit too PC these days for my liking. This seems a bit harmless.

Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2008 4:21 pm

^^ That's the point.

When you've got instances like the one where a crowd of uneducated mouth-breathers hurled bricks at a guy's house because they didn't know the difference between a "paedophile" and a "paediatrician" (I shit you not), it's way better to err on the side of caution.

Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2008 8:13 pm

definately!

Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2008 10:40 pm

I'm trying to marry my daughter off to a billionaire. I keep telling her to marry for money and not love. At least money lasts longer... especially billions. For the record I'm not at all jaded or bitter with the world. Very Happy

Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2008 11:10 pm

LOL It's funny how Freud jumps into any psychological "dilemma" LOL Freud was on drugs - - and screwing his friends' wives.

I would have to agree, though, that in this day and time, you need to be careful what you say in this situation.

And, I guess I'm old fashioned . I would tell this 8 yr old girl that it is inappropriate to call me things like "lover" or "husband"

Posted: Wed Dec 31, 2008 2:04 am

Nah. I disagree.

It's harmless fun and also role playing is a great thing to do with children. It expands their imagination which can only be a good thing and also prepares them for real life.

I said already this was not a predatory situation, it's just a harmless crush. But (almost) everyone seems hell bent on bringing in paedophilia.

I'm old enough to remember the old man on the street who would fix our bikes and the old woman who would give us sweets and in return we'd go to the shop or clean their gardens. I'd like to be that old man some day, without having to install cctv and calling in social workers and the cops to monitor every single interaction and repair job I did with the kids

Fuck this day and age crap. Why should a minority of the worlds population determine what we do?(us normal people who would not dare think of underage sex) I'll be happy to be an 8 year olds husband or lover in the purely imaginary sense( Obviously if I know the family and it's not just some random child) Child fantasies are a fantastic thing to be a part of, we all spend so much time in the real shitty world why not sit back and let the kids do things for once

Salvador Dalis greatest ambition wish was to have the imagination of a child, and when I see the Lego that is on sale today I can totally agree with him.

Posted: Wed Dec 31, 2008 5:15 am

Slightlyoutofit wrote:

a crowd of uneducated mouth-breathers hurled bricks at a guy's house because they didn't know the difference between a "paedophile" and a "paediatrician" (I shit you not), it's way better to err on the side of caution.

I read that story too, but from what I remember it was a female doctor who had her house stormed (think of Frankenstein, with the villagers marching towards the house with pitchforks and flaming torches) because they'd misunderstood the word 'paediatrician' and thought it meant the same as 'padeophile'... Rolling Eyes

edit: just found the link to it:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2000/aug/30/childprotection.society

But I remember having a crush on a 27 year old guy (family friend) when I was 9, and he was really kind to me, but when he used to drive me to my Karate lessons (my dad was in hospital at the time) he always used to stand up, pick up his car keys and then look around, and beckon one of his (or my) adult relatives to come with us in the car. Now I'm older I realise why.

But at 9 years old, having a crush on this guy and wanting to marry him - if he'd tried to kiss me I'd have ran, screaming in terror! It was good enough for me that he used to ruffle my hair and take time out to ask me how my day at school went.

I soon developed a crush on someone else...

Apparently a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune.

I didn't marry him either! Shows what kids know... Wink

Posted: Wed Dec 31, 2008 1:48 pm

Posted: Wed Dec 31, 2008 2:08 pm

Wait so if I return the "crush" on the 8 year old girl I can get in trouble? Sorry, that is a joke.

I understand the OP's concerns, but I also think all this PC crap is making the world a worse place rather than a better one. Hell I spent time as a prosecutor prosecuting child abuse crimes. Turns one's stomach and you can only do it so long.... but I digress.

I agree there is not much to worry about if all she is doing is saying she has a crush on you. Sure I might tell mom/dad about it but not in a "oh my god I am not a perv" kind of way but more in a "gosh isn't this cute" kind of way. That way they know about it and if they think it is a problem they can deal with it by talking to you and/or their daughter. Then I would just act normally around the daughter.

Posted: Wed Dec 31, 2008 2:17 pm

I doubt she really has a concept of what the word "lover" means. But that's just my two cents.

Posted: Wed Dec 31, 2008 2:53 pm

^^ Exactly, It's just a word she is using to feel grown up she has absolutely no idea what it actually means.

It is love in the family sense the way I love my mum.

Posted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 1:03 pm

A SKYHOOK seems to be the only one who picked up on this as well, but Kabuto made some pretty revealing comments on the girl's family situation.
That doesn't sound like a healthy environment for a kid, and could lead to some atypical behaviour.

Other than that, I don't see the harm in a little girl's crush.
It'll be over shortly, when she discovers a new target for her affections.
Kids that age still are innocent for the most part. It's the adults you need to worry about...

Baiting Guru Joined: 11 May 2004 Posts: 2163

Nurse Nasty wrote:

8 years old and doesn't think boys are yucky or icky? Sounds like good harmless fun. My princess has a crush on Bob the Builder and Captain Kirk, so seriously, don't read anything into it.

Your kids are cool. I remember the picture of the all pink room Laughing

Posted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 9:48 pm

Gothic wrote:

A SKYHOOK seems to be the only one who picked up on this as well, but Kabuto made some pretty revealing comments on the girl's family situation.
That doesn't sound like a healthy environment for a kid, and could lead to some atypical behaviour..

i believe there were some others that picked that up as well

but there are a lot that have blinkers on and fingers in there ears and are singing la la la la Rolling Eyes

I have typed about 4 responses and backspaced them cos i carnt put the right words together to get what i want to say with out affending any one

Posted: Tue Jan 06, 2009 1:38 am

Click

Did anyone bother to read the links I posted earlier?

Do so before reading that one. Seductive behaviour should not be confused with crush behaviour.

Google further information for yourselves about child seductive behaviour. What Kabuto has described is Crush behaviour.

Posted: Tue Jan 06, 2009 2:16 am

Kabuto Sama wrote:

@ Nurse Nasty
Hehe, I'm more like an unshaven, long haired Spock. Well... I guess all this happened because of a lack of strong parental figure. Her pa is a s****d fat b*****d who enjoys watching porn instead spending quality time with only daughter. And her ma, bitching (I am sorry, I do not remember the EXACT English word, but I know there is one) around all the time, cannot put some sense into her husband's only living brain cell.

i agree the young child may just be being a child i hope so

but the red flags went up when i read the quote above and think all should read spuds clicky

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