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eror
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Joined: 23 Nov 2008
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 1:34 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I got this lad from slaphappy... (thank you...ALOT - hes been fun so far) Im playing m0rg4n fr33m4n and working for w4rn3rbr0 studios..

I've been working on him for sometime.. and finnaly got "sc3ne 35" out've him.. Smile

Quote:
Rudolf and Elvis are ready for the drug deal, as they are now inside the bush. Jones is Rudolf’s bodyguard.
Rudolf: You know the scenario of what this deal is all about and so I won’t entertain any shift of responsibility from you any longer. I’ve shouldered more than enough of your tricky neglect of responsibility. You know how erratic the master is, Jeff. I will not for any reason not coursed by me to fall into his wrath.
Elvis: Hae man! It has not come to that level, Okay! I know who the master his and I will try my best to be at parallel line with him.
Rudolf: Take it or you fucking live it but a slit on your part will no longer be condoned. No fucking trick of yours will work any longer men! It’s either you are in or you are out full final stop.
Elvis: Cheer up man! You’ve been up and doing!
Rudolf: So you know.
Elvis: Yeah men!
As both put forth smiles heard hand shake as both embrace.
Rudolf walks down to Jones while Elvis walk down to Nick.
Rudolf: You have to be the man I know that made me go for you. No room for fucking fear in your eyes as that is this deal. Don’t care about anyone else from me ‘Rudolf’ Okay!
Jones: Yeah! I pretty understand the stand of this business. You security and safety is my paramount importance and that I will carry out to the latter.
Rudolf: Nice to hear you say that men!
Nick is Elvis’ bodyguard.
Elvis: All you should be concerned in this deal is Elvis and nothing else. Okay!
Nick: Okay! You know what I can do.
Elvis: There is no friend, no brother in this deal as all men to their selves.
Nick too a deep breath.
Nick: Goodness me oh man!
Elvis: Money! Money!! Money!!!
Nick: Yeah! Money!
Alex is in control of his combat force men, Tom, Leo, Tony, Anderson, Harry, Clement, Festus, Simon, Donald and Alan.
Bernard, Charles, Teddy and Daniel are driving TJ. Sahara Jeep. They are all well equipped for any combat.
Alex: I don’t entertain flop, you guys know. I don’t spare betrayers; you all should beer it at you mind.
Harry is focusing another direction as he is not paying attention to Alex.
Tom: You are never serious for just ones!
Harry kept him quit.
Tom: You’ve got to pay attention guy!
As he walks up to him and tap him on his head.
Harry: You fucking cross my part I bust your fucking skull! You son of a bitch!
Tom: You call me a bitch?
Harry: Fucking trash of a guy!
Leo: Enough guys!
Anderson: We are in for a serious business, so there is no fucking time for this nutty shit of argument.
Harry: It’s all about mind your business, play your role and live others to their roles. I hate interference, no fucking room for that.
Donald: We are in for one purpose, there should be no division.
Alex: You try to fuck me up; the best you fucking get from me is a straight fucking merciless shot of a nasty bullet to shot up that fucking act.
As he raise his gun up.
Alex: Am I talking to somebody?
Chorus answer: Yeah! Yeah!! Yeah!!!
Alex: Okay! We’ve been contracted and we are in for the contract, so we have to live up to expectation. We are in, no going back. What did I say?
Chorus answer: No going back!
Alex: That is expertly the position now.
Rudolf , Jones, Nick and Elvis walk from their different corners to meet Alex and his men.
Rudolf brought out the Grays’ creek map as he teaches them the terrain of the map topography.
They drink hot gin and smoke while listening to Rudolf.
Rudolf: This blue tick line indicates the big river. We cross at this point. Jones, Elvis and Alex are kin.
Rudolf: This area is a very tick forest. This brown tiny line indicate, roads, call it small footpaths. You have to know these things as most of you have not been to the Gray’s creek before now.
Jeff is with his partner Scott, as Scott is having Bob, Morris and Edge his back ups.
Jeff: Business as usual. You are all welcome. Welcome to my world!
Chorus answer: Thank you! Thank you!! Thank you!!!
Jeff brought out a liquid and sprinkles it on them.
Bob: What a hell of shit are you doing?
Jeff: You mean a hell of shit I do!
Edge: It stinks.
Scott: Yeah! Never mind.
Scott: I know for sure everything is ready?
Jeff: Yeah man! I’ve done my part. You’ve got to pay me my mobilization fee for the much I’ve done.
Scott: You don’t need to mention. I’ll do that right now. So how much will that course?
Jeff: £120,000.00
Scott: Why not take a £100,000.00
Jeff: Nothing short of that! I’ve done much grand work to this deal and security is as tight as before.
Scott: I count on you.
Scott pays Jeff.
Jeff: Now you make me smile.
Scott is having Bob, Morris and Edge his back ups, all equipped as they are long into the deal.
Morris: We need to take some walk are the jungle with Jeff.
Scott: You’ve made a good point! Absolutely true idea!
Edge: We need to master everywhere with the master Jeff!
Jeff smile with them.
Jeff: Okay guys lets go round the jungle.
They set out and not quite some few minutes Bob scream.
Bob: Hae! Snake men!
Edge: Hea! pretty big snake.
As he point it to Scott and Jeff.
Jeff: They don’t hurt. I sprinkled you a mixture that will make it not to hurt you, so no snake will hurt you guys.
Trevor and his Cops are ready, as they are fully equipped.
Kingsley, Jude, Collie and Ashley have Belgian attack dogs.
Jude and Ashley greet as cops.
Jude: Ashley I think the dogs are ready for action.
Ashley: You ask me such question!
Jude: Is it out of proportion?
Ashley: Why don’t you check the dogs out men? Huh!
Jude: Come on, don’t be erratic!
Ashley: The dogs are ready men!
Jude: Now you are talking.
Both smile. Collie and Kingsley walk in to meet Jude and Ashley.
Jude and Ashley salute Kingsley as their sergeant.
Collie: So what’s up men?
Ashley: Cool ready for action.
Kingsley: Are you ready?
Jude: Sure Sergeant!
Carlos is commandant for ground force, comprising, Brown, Steve, Matthew, Douglas, and others.
Kingsley walk done to Carlos, as he salutes him.
Carlos: What is the situation report of your department?
Kingsley: All correct sir!
Carlos: Okay!
Fernando flies number 2 of the Apache helicopter with Trevor and Kelvin.
Trevor: I don’t think there will be an escape this time around for these cartel men!
Kelvin: If we are able to crack them down, it will be a greet achievement for us as these cartel men are very deadly and desperate.
Trevor: We’re flying with Fernando.
Kelvin: Okay sir!
Danny flies number 1 of the Apache helicopter with Marcus and Terry.
Marcus: This is a big task to this force to crack these deadly cartel men down by all means. We need to be at our best to outwit these cartel men.
Terry: That’s true sir! Are we flying with Fernando sir?
Marcus: No, we’re flying with Danny.
Terry: Okay sir!
The Belgian attack dogs are kept in their compartment.
Trevor brought out Grays’ creek map as he addresses them.
Trevor: I just have to remind every one of us that we are in for a task that must be accomplished with a success. We need to crack these drug cartel men down and save our society of band hard drugs. It is in your hand and mine to achieve this. You all have seen the map of where we are heading to, so be brave and smart. We have to have our nest officer at heart, it takes two to tangle. Your maximum cooperation will give us a desired success. Don’t let the picture of this make go off your memory. Okay!
Chorus answer: Yes sir!
James, Andrew, Hardy, Dav and Dan are drivers for police vans, and Jeeps.
Rudolf: I have to let everyone to know that I don’t entertain any nutty shit of lapses. Be yourself till the end of this deal. I don’t envisage any combat but we must be combat ready as that is the nature of this deal. I believe in every one of you. I close up fucking *DELETED* that try to jeopardize my deal. Any opposition must be rattled to the end. Spare no opposition at all while we are one family, the safety of everyone is very important. Am I understood!
Chorus Answer: Yes!
Rudolf: Understood!
Chorus answer: Yes sir!
Rudolf: Good.
There was different gesture.
Elvis: Rudolf has said it all. We must be by each other’s side in case of eventuality. Everyone need each other support Huh! Hurdles are scale through by the hard and brave men. I count on every one of you for the success of this deal. Anyone who need mask can have it. Okay!
Jones: Yeah! You are right.
Alex: let’s go we’ve heard the sermon.
Chorus Answer: Yeah!
As some enter T.J. Sahara Jeep, others carry each other in the motorcycle as they set out their journey. They have crossed the creek river to the other side.
Fernando, Trevor and Kester fly pass the air space.
Trevor saw team of drug baron with his binoculars.
Trevor: Fernando hang on, it seem I see the cartel guys.
Fernando: Okay sir! You see them?
Trevor: Holy shit! Fernando lower down, down, down.
Fernando: Yes sir! A day earlier than expected.
Trevor: Shit! The barons are on their way, a day earlier than slated. Take a look!
Trevor hand over the binoculars to Kester.
Kester views from different angle.
Kester: Sir! You are right the barons are out there on their way.
Alex: I hear the sound of helicopter. Listen carefully guys!
Tom: Yeah! I equally hear the sound too! Don’t you think it might be government patrol force? You know they might just be on patrol.
They all stopped.
Alex signal Rudolf and Elvis over the sound of the helicopter. Rudolf and Elvis respond to him too with signs showing that they heard it too.
Jones: I am hearing the helicopter sound too!
Rudolf: They might be on their patrol. Lets go they are not for us.
They continued.
Trevor: Fernando turn back, gradually.
Fernando: Yes sir!
Trevor radio message Marcus.
Trevor: The barons are on their way already. Get the men ready for a strike. We don’t have to waist any time in getting to them because they don’t waist time in their deal, so the faster we act, the better it will be for us to crack them down.
Marcus: Yes sir! We are ready as we only was waiting for your report, which we’ve received now.
Jeff, Scott, Bob, Morris and Edge are still walking in the jungle.
The cops start running hectare skater, everyone equipping himself.
Carlos: Get ready now!
Fernando landed. Trevor meets Marcus to see they are ready as they set out too.
Marcus: We’re ready!
Trevor: Okay!
Jeff waits for Rudolf and group before where he planted those bombs. So they meet and Rudolf comes down to him.
Rudolf: Hi Mr. Jeff. You wait for us.
Jeff: Yeah!
Jeff sprinkle liquid on himself before sprinkle on them. He entered the open T.J. Sahara with Rudolf, Jones as Teddy drive, while he directs them.
Jones: Why did you sprinkle liquid on almost everyone?
Jeff: Snakes will not attack you.
Jones: what!
Jeff: Yeah!
Rudolf: yeah!
Teddy: Great.
Trevor and his men are coming fast. The helicopters landed somewhere waiting for their action time.
The cops with the Belgian attack dog with the other cops are in their different vehicles. The vehicle carrying the Belgian attacker dogs passed one rough area of the bush road, and as the second vehicle on the role attempt to pass, drive into a set bomb with the front tire stepping into it and it exploded killing the cops.
Carlos radio message Trevor.
Carlos: We have recorded casualty. Van number BPF 467 exploded with no survival. There are explosives in the area.
Trevor: Shit! The drivers have to be more cautious now that they know that there are bombs every where.
Carlos: We are still advancing to them.
Trevor: Okay! Carry on.
Jeff comes down from the Jeep alongside Rudolf and Jones.
Elvis and Nick come down.
The guys on motorbike packed.
Rudolf, Elvis, Jeff transect the drug deal with Scott as they are as brief as possible.
Scott: We don’t have to bargain much as the price has gone high which you all know, I only expect a 20% pay increase.
Rudolf checks the cocaine with Elvis.
Rudolf: The stuff is good! We’ve seen the stuff is good but that is not to say we will afford paying you some thing different from what we used to as the business is getting much more difficult day by day.
Elvis: Yeah! Perfect! We pay you what we have as customers.
Scott: Not paying me what you have that matter but what is commensurate with the stuff. I never envisaged that you guys will not add some money. I’ve spent much!
Scot smiled.
Elvis: Nest time we will add some money but not this time around. We’ve spent much money too!
Jones hands over money briefcase to Rudolf.
Rudolf opened it and hand it over to Scott.
Rudolf: I pay you based on my police negotiations with Mr. Jeff.
Scott: No problem, I’ve discussed with Mr. Jeff and I accepted the price. You see the stuff, very conc. Your customers will like it. I maintain a business policy of selling genuine goods to my customers.
The police are close.
The Cops with the Belgian attack dogs are in front as they walk inside the bush. The dogs are in front as the cop follows them behind.
Cobra snake attack Jeremy.
Jeremy: Shit!
An attack dog pined it to the ground as Jeremy killed it.
Carlos: It seems dangerous snakes are here.
Jeremy: Yeah!
The Belgian attack dogs are some meters in from the Cops, when one of the dogs saw a cobra snake coming in front to attack and in the process the dog stepped in a grenade bomb. The dog gave sign to show it is in danger.
It backs for danger.
The snake attacks the dog by spiting on the dog and bit the dog on the same right hand. The dog cannot attack the snake as its leg is on the grenade bomb. The snake was biting the dog and as the dog cannot do anything again, as the cop took too long to come to its rescue.
The dog’s right hand is on the grenade bomb. The dog removed the right hand from the grenade bomb, which coursed another explosion, killing the dog and injuring some of the Cops that are close.
Jeff, Rudolf, Elvis and everyone are now conscious of attack as they hear of bomb explosions.
Elvis: You all can put on your mask.
Jones, Rudolf and few others wear their mask.
Elvis sight one of the dogs and immediately opened fire there as serious gun battle between the drug men and the cops begin.
The air strike destroyed two of Rudolf’s Jeeps as they dropped bomb to the Jeeps.
Jones is a good shooter killing some cops.
Elvis shoot rapidly.
Edge is shot dead.
That provoked Scott and Jeff the more.
Bernard, Leo, Festus, Simon are shot dead.
Alex taps a grenade bomb and throws it, as it killed some cops.
Trevor: Fernando down.
Fernando: Okay!
Kester throws grenade bomb on one of the motorcycle that Alan was trying to escape with.
Trevor: Yes!
Fernando: Yes!
Trevor: Up! Up!! Up!!!
Before Fernando could go up Scott from his side at close range gun him dead, and Kester. Before could do anything the helicopter landed and the firing was too severe that he came walk down, fire rapidly, killing Nick, Tom and few others.
Jeff and Elvis fired Trevor from different angles.
Carlos was at his best too.
Marcus and Terry came down as Danny rushed the wounded cops to the hospital, while both cops join Carlos and others.
It is too bloody.
The bush is getting dark and the firing is still on course.
Little while it will seize and little while it continue.
Some victims screamed as they are shot.
Somebody wounded in Rudolf’s gang where even shot dead by their group members.
Rudolf and his surviving gang members succeeded.


I hope you've all enjoyed, It'll be in full production.. novemeber 2010, I can tell your all excited.

(Will post the rest of the bait once im finished with him)

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Ninastian
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 3:20 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Have I understod this right - you got your lad to write that script? From scratch?

If so, that's AWESOME! clapping

N

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Donato
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 3:23 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

That must've kept the lad busy. Nice work. Very Happy

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 3:31 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Very nice work clapping clapping
Are you asking him over for a pilot now? Or is he just a writer, then it would be best if he is on set so he can make the changes without corrupting the whole story line Wink He's got talent, maybe he should tape the pilot so you can get the investors interested? Twisted Evil

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 3:42 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

That is awesome work eror clapping I will be looking forward to more scenes.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 4:03 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

thats really funny Laughing

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 4:50 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Nicely done, but can you get him and some of his friends to act the scene out so you get an idea of how it flows?

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 5:47 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

clapping clapping clapping Great job and I'm jealous!

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 10:36 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Congratulations Eror!

Thats a fantastic result... whens the next scene coming?

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eror
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 11:03 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Oh no, Hes written this before hand, Im going to try get another scene from him.. Twisted Evil

Or.. eventually write a new script.. Smile

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 20, 2008 12:40 am Reply with quoteBack to top

If you don't mind me asking, what's the scam? There are a lot of (terrible, many worse than this even) writers out there with dreams of writing movies. What makes this a scammer over a kid trying to find a legitimate way out of squalor by doing creative constructive work?

Not trying to down your bait, just want to be sure we are not judging too hastily! What was the scam?
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 20, 2008 1:14 am Reply with quoteBack to top

@eror - Glad you've had some success in making him cough up some of his script. Very Happy

Rumbero and Worf got him well on his way to writing this story, then Worf got bored, Rumbero left, and I saw him in Rumbero's movie producer's email. When he wrote back, I was busy with Joe, and just got to write a couple messages to him. So, when eror PM'ed me and said he wanted to take him, I gave him up. I'm so glad you've had such success!! Damn good for a n00b baiter, eh, gang? Very Happy

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 20, 2008 1:44 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^He's a lucky man that you did not get your hook in him deeper.

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 20, 2008 7:59 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Oh almost forgot, A thanks goes out to Pastor Frank for calling him for me. Smile

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 20, 2008 11:23 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Pastor Frank called this nutcase? Laughing That must have been one interesting conversation. Is it posted somewhere? I simply must hear it! Laughing

EDIT: to add : @MBL - This guy was running other advance-fee scams.

And, on a lighter note...I went back in time, back to June, and this is how the lad described "RANKLE JONES THE GOLFER," which is the script you read up there^^. There are wires crossed in this guy's head, for sure! Laughing
Quote:
Here is the script synopsis.
Jones enjoys golf playing, hoping to be a professional golfer like Tiger Woods. Professional golfers play in golf field, ours play at home. No fucking son of a bitch will accept correction. The pride of what is yet to be is a destroyer.
It is traumatic to live with nutty breed of human, all in the name of family-hood. The traumatic experience of Ray over being alienated in the family of five and his emotional disgust over his parents good moral negligence.
His erratic brother Jones gave him a blood bath, living his life-less body after which he was in oblivious state. Ray is cast away and also an object of mimic.
Hilda gave Ray a taste of love life which has been missing for years. I love you mum because you hate me. Cassandra my sister is no different from my mum Vera.
Jones finally golfed out daddy’s ''Kenny'' breath, as he was left to his pool of blood. Jones life turns sour of no savvy as he committed suicide. Those that bury mines indiscriminately will one day fall victim to mine explosion.

I need to know if you are through with reading of the script. I have good scripts but for now I am concentrating on this.

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 20, 2008 12:44 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

http://www.supload.com/music/419-download-BK23KVKTHV2W.html

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Last edited by eror on Sat Dec 20, 2008 1:50 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 20, 2008 12:54 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Thanks for posting the link, eror. Smile Nice call PF! Very Happy

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Safari Safari [email protected] & Charlie -Wulugu Or Bust Safari- Lagos to Paga & Tokwari X2 - 3800mi.
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Safari Issac to Chad
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pony pony Closed lad accounts Mortar Goat Easter Egg 2011
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Worf
Elite Baiter


Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 1690
Location: Florida - it's hot down here


PostPosted: Sat Dec 20, 2008 3:05 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

notobescammed wrote:
Congratulations Eror!

Thats a fantastic result... whens the next scene coming?


I think it would make a great radio play for your show. There's enough parts in it for a lot of baiters to participate Laughing

_________________
"Honey there no way to go out side camp without peppers and passport." - M1racle Y0rm1e
"Either you are lying or you are not telling the truth here, buddy." - H4rrison Ford (the lad, not the actor of course)
"you are an embodiment of permanent failure, an epitome of misfortune of life . . . a disgrace to your generation" - Lambert Lee
Safari = Rev. Michael Jeans - Dakar to Ziguinchor
Safari = Rev. Michael Jeans - Dakar to St. Louis, Senegal (co-bait with OxygenDeprived)
Safari = Mattar - Abidjan, Ivory Coast to Accra, Ghana
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parrot
419Eater is my life


Joined: 22 Oct 2008
Posts: 415
Location: Thank you.....Thank you very much


PostPosted: Sat Dec 20, 2008 3:24 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Aweome job Eror. It's great when you can get a lad that hooked!

Truly funny stuff! clapping

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"To be frank you make me sick, but since you want the account number, here is the account number you need"
"I got your email and you made me laugh, I guess you have slapped a lawyer before, if you slap me, I will jail you, WELL JUST JOKING, I guess I triggered your anger, by my ealier speech, I AM VERY SORRY, I was so stressed up in the court today"

"these documents are personal as they are alot of scams around and need certain of these informationd for their personal use."
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carlosq
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 16 Mar 2008
Posts: 35


PostPosted: Sat Dec 20, 2008 3:35 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Good script. I'm impressed.

This lad's talents are wasted in the 419 business.

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Dramaqueen
Juan's stalker


Joined: 28 Aug 2008
Posts: 1424


PostPosted: Sat Dec 20, 2008 4:21 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Awesome work!!
clapping
Im jealous too... Very Happy

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manbiteslion
Baiting Guru


Joined: 12 Dec 2007
Posts: 4816
Location: Connecting my chair and keyboard


PostPosted: Sat Dec 20, 2008 8:07 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

SlapHappy wrote:
EDIT: to add : @MBL - This guy was running other advance-fee scams.

Fair 'nuff Smile Just checking, sure you appreciate why Wink
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BluthBanana
Baiting Guru


Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 2260
Location: Balboa Towers


PostPosted: Sat Dec 20, 2008 8:29 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

@eror - Nice work! Very Happy I got his Rankl3 Jon3s e-mail and meant to bait him but had been busy with a few ongoing baits as well as RL junk. I'm glad to see someone else having fun with him and sharing his masterpieces with everyone!

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redshoes17
Elite Baiter


Joined: 28 Feb 2007
Posts: 1731


PostPosted: Mon Dec 22, 2008 6:22 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Very enjoyable, looking forward to the next chapter.

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Safari Floyd Lagos to Abeche with reaper
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Safari ARK Tamale to Kumasi
star Hello Kitty! Mortar x41
I don't need you alone for sex. w1l13

i was ashamed this money money was not in the system when we got there to cash it,it made me and my family lawyer look like little children Godwin

'because no one want your progress not every one want your goat to give birth to twins as the man who see tomorrow told me when i visit him in the shrine Godwin

i was rubbed by rubber last friday, they collectted all my money and my phones.
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