SmartFeedSmartFeed          

Porsche Hangout


WELCOME - YOU ARE CURRENTLY VIEWING 419EATER AS A GUEST

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

ScamWarners.com - Internet Anti-Fraud Center - now open!


 Congratulations Slightly

View next topic
View previous topic
 
Post new topicReply to topic
Author Message
jojobean
Baiting Guru


Joined: 01 Dec 2005
Posts: 7586
Location: YOU WILL DRINK YOUR URINE IN A COMERCIAL BUS


PostPosted: Mon Dec 08, 2008 3:07 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

The world is a darker place.

Congrats. I hope he doesn't grow up to be like you. In fact, I hope he grows up to be just like me. He did name him Jojo.

_________________
Golden Pith Globe T.W.A.T Jack Boot
Christ Safari Ghana-Chad
Miracle Safari Benin-Chad
Omar Safari Edo-Abeche T.W.A.T
Adamu Safari Lagos-Abeche
Emi Safari- S Africa-Egypt-Sudan 10k miles
Chris Safari Jolly Roger Dakar-Niger-BF-Cameroon-Lagos-Mali-Nairobi 9.6k miles

Kevin Pith Helmet 10 Safari Accra- BF x2, Togo x2, Kumasi x3, Bolgatanga, Benin City, Tamale x2 Suitcase 5k miles Tattoo x 6
Kenny Safari Safari Safari 3k miles- dont f*ck me up about the payment plz. i have a policy about that. I JUST GOT A SMALL GOAT TODAY AND ITS IN MY HOUSE NOW. i lobve the goat.
Goat
Ben Safari Safari Safari 2.5k miles

Misc Pith Helmet 20 Pith Helmet 5 Pith Helmet 5 Safari Safari Germany-Holland, Atlanta, Beijing-ChangZhou, London-Glasgow, TIMBUKTU x 2
View user's profileSend private message
A Skinner
Texas Lad-Saw Massacre


Joined: 16 Nov 2003
Posts: 3679
Location: Texas, USA


PostPosted: Mon Dec 08, 2008 3:10 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Congrats, Slightly! Smile

_________________
Safari Safari Safari Mortar x 25
Closed lad accounts X ? Nurse Nastys Audi TT x3 Purple Flower
Sand Timer x2 Easter Egg 2012 Nigeria Benin United Kingdom Ghana
SINCE YOU MADE ME TO GIVE MY CAR AWAY AND ALL THE DISAPOINTMENTS YOU GAVE TO ME,WHICH MADE ME TO STOP CONTACTING YOU. PLEASE DO NOT INVOLVE ME WITH ANYTHING YOU ARE DOING WITH ANYBODY, PLEASE DONT INVOLVE ME.I DONT WANT ANYTHING THAT WILL JEOPARDIZE MY IMAGE IN THIS COUNTRY.I AM A HUMANITARIAN LAWYER.

infact am getting tired with all this speculation in this transaction, honestly if i had known that this is the kind of person you are i would not have contacted for an assistance

Urgent??? Impotent massage

* Help Keep Eater Running - Click here to donate
View user's profileSend private messageSkype Name
Nanny Ogg
"Bruce"


Joined: 19 Mar 2007
Posts: 2623


PostPosted: Mon Dec 08, 2008 3:32 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Awww congratulations
Pamper them both, enjoy the times when the wee one sleeps

Did it hurt much? Hubby swears he still limps from where I kicked him when were having the last kiddy
Very Happy

_________________
Pole Dancer Goat* Help Keep Eater Running - Click here to donate
Closed lad accounts
View user's profileSend private message
bombardier
** REMEMBERED **


Joined: 02 Jan 2006
Posts: 2019
Location: On the sideline keeping an eye on you lot


PostPosted: Mon Dec 08, 2008 3:33 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Congrats mate however having more hair than me is hardly worth shouting about beers! happy crowd beers!

_________________
Pith Helmet
Vcamera Stunt lad Part 1 Vcamera Stunt lad Part 2 Vcamera Amazing Jesus
Molson and Lee interview 09/03/07 / Molson and Lee interview 05/04/07 (With Eliza)
pony pony Mortar x18
View user's profileSend private messageSkype Name
Titania
Hell on wheels


Joined: 06 Jun 2008
Posts: 2442
Location: Rollin' rollin' rollin'


PostPosted: Mon Dec 08, 2008 3:46 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Congrats to the Slightly clan! You have an advantage over some other parents - you can take your frustrations out on lads! Very Happy

_________________
i do not know you.you need to expanciate more - C0llins W3aver
those words really made me felt completely bad..and i had to dust my ass and wipe tears Micheal David
pony pony pony Mc Fry Goat Goat Closed lad accounts Mortar x 8
Safari Stanley's Christmas Adventure 2008 - Lagos to Abuja - massbait
View user's profileSend private message
Harry Bawls
Elite Baiter


Joined: 19 Oct 2006
Posts: 1310
Location: Somewhere, nowhere, everywhere


PostPosted: Mon Dec 08, 2008 8:39 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Congrats Slightly! About time you joined the ranks of suffering. Kiss sex (with the wife) goodbye for an extended period. By the way, does the little bundle of joy look like me at all? Cool
View user's profileSend private messageSend e-mailSkype Name
iMike
Elite Baiter


Joined: 21 Jan 2005
Posts: 1371
Location: Ministry of Serendipity


PostPosted: Mon Dec 08, 2008 8:59 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
I shall be going to get the screaming, dribbling mess from the hospital


that's really no way to speak about your wife! Very Happy

Congratulations.

_________________
-- Goat Goat Easter Egg

Closed lad accounts x2

"you have luke worm in your brain" - Ekaetta Bello
"invite me to your country and let me clearify your legitimacy asshole" - Mose5 Uzem3
"the transfer was not authorized due to my persistent double mind" - Clement Wank
"this is not the time to play planks" - Mack Anthony

WIFI PDA - post while you dump
SAY 'NO' TO GAS STORAGE!

<a href="/forum/donate.php">[FREE LAPHROAIG]</a>
View user's profileSend private message
Old No. 7
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 31 Jul 2007
Posts: 777
Location: Somewhere Else


PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 8:11 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Congratulations to Mrs Slightly.

(The Squirrel can look after himself - after all, who did all the work?)

_________________
200+ sites killed, from these countries => United Kingdom Netherlands Russia Nigeria Switzerland Ukraine South Africa Germany United States Canada Senegal Benin Spain Ghana Ivory Coast Cambodia Flag United Nations

pony pony pony Closed lad accounts Mortar

Like my flags? Want some of your own? Let justjay teach you how to kill sites here (clicky).

Hobbes may have retired, but get his brilliant WriteJunk here (clicky) and never touch a .dll again

Proud to be a mouth-breather who posted a load of shit, disappeared into the night but mysteriously reappeared after a long absence
View user's profileSend private message
Murry Guru
Baiting Guru


Joined: 11 May 2007
Posts: 5561
Location: Turned into Ralph


PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 10:27 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Just this morning while looking for something completely unrelated I found something that may have been useful last year to the Outofits.

Then I find that there is another little fury creature in our very extended family. Wink

Sorry, too late with the below advice but at least now you will have a better understanding of what you are in for

Congrats Slightly

FOLLOW THESE 14 SIMPLE TESTS BEFORE YOU DECIDE TO HAVE CHILDREN.

Test 1 – Preparation

Women: To prepare for pregnancy:-

1. Put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front.

2. Leave it there.

3. After 9 months remove 5% of the beans.


Men: To prepare for children:-

1. go to a local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet onto the counter and tell the pharmacist to help himself

2. go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.

3. Go home. Pick up the newspaper and read it for the last time.


Test 2 – Knowledge


Find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels and how they have allowed their children to run wild. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behaviour.

Enjoy it. It will be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.



Test 3 – Nights

To discover how the nights will feel:

1. Walk around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 4 - 6kg, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.

2. At 10pm, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight and go to sleep.

3. Get up at 11pm and walk the bag around the living room until 1am.

4. Set the alarm for 3am.

5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2am and make a cup of tea.

6. Go to bed at 2.45am.

7. Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off.

8. Sing songs in the dark until 4am.

9. Put the alarm on for 5am. Get up when it goes off.

10. Make breakfast.

Keep this up for 5 years. LOOK CHEERFUL.



Test 4 – Dressing Small Children

1. Buy a live octopus and a string bag.

2. Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that no arms hang out.

Time Allowed: 5 minutes.




Test 5 – Cars

1. Forget the BMW. Buy a practical 5-door wagon.

2. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.

3. Get a coin. Insert it into the CD player.

4. Take a box of chocolate biscuits; mash them into the back seat.

5. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.



Test 6 – Going For a Walk

Wait
Go out the front door
Come back in again
Go out
Come back in again
Go out again
Walk down the front path
Walk back up it
Walk down it again
Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.
Stop, inspect minutely and ask at least 6 questions about every piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue and dead insect along the way.
Retrace your steps
Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbours come out and stare at you.
Give up and go back into the house.

You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.


Test 7

Repeat everything you say at least 5 times.


Test 8 – Grocery Shopping


1. Go to the local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child - a fully grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat.

2. Buy your weekly groceries without letting the goat(s) out of your sight.

3. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.

Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.



Test 9 – Feeding a 1 year-old

1. Hollow out a melon

2. Make a small hole in the side

3. Suspend the melon from the ceiling and swing it side to side

4. Now get a bowl of soggy cornflakes and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon while pretending to be an aeroplane.

5. Continue until half the cornflakes are gone.

6. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor.


Test 10 – TV

1. Learn the names of every character from the Wiggles, Barney, Teletubbies and Disney.

2. Watch nothing else on television for at least 5 years.


Test 11 – Mess

Can you stand the mess children make? To find out:

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains

2. Hide a fish behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.

3. Stick your fingers in the flowerbeds and then rub them on clean walls. Cover the stains with crayon. How does that look?

4. Empty every drawer/cupboard/storage box in your house onto the floor & leave it there.



Test 12 – Long Trips with Toddlers

1. Make a recording of someone shouting 'Mummy' repeatedly. Important Notes: No more than a 4 second delay between each Mummy. Include occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet.

2. Play this tape in your car, everywhere you go for the next 4 years.

You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.


Test 13 – Conversations

1. Start talking to an adult of your choice.

2. Have someone else continually tug on your shirt hem or shirt sleeve while playing the Mummy tape listed above.

You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.



Test 14 – Getting ready for work

1. Pick a day on which you have an important meeting.

2. Put on your finest work attire.

3. Take a cup of cream and put 1 cup of lemon juice in it

4. Stir

5. Dump half of it on your nice silk shirt

6. Saturate a towel with the other half of the mixture

7. Attempt to clean your shirt with the same saturated towel

8. Do not change (you have no time).

9. Go directly to work


You are now ready to have children. ENJOY!!

_________________
"I want to hold your hand and let you scream at me while you bring our child into this world"- Linda Lopez
Safari Bait with Frumpy on the hitman "i though we are partners in this and now u turn around to stub me on the back"
Click to learn how to romance bait Click to get your name in mugu gold
Got info on a scam vic? PM a mod Recieved a scam warning? Say "thank you, I am a baiter"
Ruin your pets day, post their details at scamwarners
Nurse Nastys Audi TT <- I run like a girl
Mortar x12 Closed lad accounts ? not enough Twisted Evil
Goat Goat <- this one belongs to Ralph.
View user's profileSend private message
Slightlyoutofit
Baiting Guru


Joined: 13 Feb 2007
Posts: 14310
Location: Foraging for Nuts.


PostPosted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 8:37 am Reply with quoteBack to top

We already have 18 month and 3 year old girls so it's not going to be the same sort of shock that it was when our first was born.

Suprisingly, all 3 were planned pregnancies - the wife said she always wanted 3 kids (Notice I said "she". Like I ever got a choice on the subject). I guess she likes having the house turned into Hiroshima every day.

It's not been too bad though. Over the past 3 days I've averaged 4 hours sleep a night and I now look like the Living Dead. Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad

_________________
Star pony pony pony Nurse Nastys Audi TT Purple Flower Whip
Safari Jolly Roger Mortar Closed lad accounts Cellphone United Kingdom

God will see you true for all this you have done to me you bastard. - Collins Kalu
MAY THE HAND THAT TYPE ON KEYBORD BECOME STRICKEN AND TRANSMIT VIRUS TO YOU ENTIRE BODY. - Dr Linda Akeem
oh what a mess its time cabbage punks like u will be expose for trully what they are. - David Cole
View user's profileSend private messageYahoo MessengerSkype Name
irishemigrant
I Told You So


Joined: 22 Jul 2007
Posts: 4864
Location: 40*45' S 172* 34'E


PostPosted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 8:57 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
I now look like the Living Dead


So there's been some good come of it, you look better than before already Shocked

_________________
SeniorNet NZ Local Branch ongoing workshops about internet scams

http://www.scamwarners.com/ For when you want to remember why we bait

Goodbye Mike (Paranoid) Friend, confidant, partner. Till we meet again.
Personal Message From The Axeman
Easter Egg 2012 pony pony <-- Because you have earned them. Wink Goat Goat Golden Goat Mortar x8 Closed lad accounts a few x 13
View user's profileSend private messageSkype Name
Nanny Ogg
"Bruce"


Joined: 19 Mar 2007
Posts: 2623


PostPosted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 11:39 am Reply with quoteBack to top

So you're used to baby girls, slightly.
Mind when changing nappies that baby boys have built in hosepipes!

_________________
Pole Dancer Goat* Help Keep Eater Running - Click here to donate
Closed lad accounts
View user's profileSend private message
Display posts from previous:      
Post new topicReply to topic


 Jump to:   



View next topic
View previous topic
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum



** Find out information about your IP address **


All Content © 2003 - 419Eater.com
Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group :S5: FI Theme :: All times are GMT