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 Richard He4d Ladshare ***FIRST EVER ROLLERCOASTER TROPHY!***

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SlapHappy
Body Eater


Joined: 15 May 2006
Posts: 9612
Location: Floating up and down with happiness.


PostPosted: Tue Jan 06, 2009 4:55 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

The lad wrote me this today:
Quote:
Now New Year Holiday is over! I trust that you had a wonderful New Year's eve party with your friends and the New Year holiday undoubtedly was superb. I suppose? Do you have anything new to share with me? Have you been able to capture Houdini yet? Anyway, how are you doing today? I hope all is well with you? I haven't heard from you in a while now. The last e-mail you wrote me was about your request to have designs for your T-shirt photo printing and ever since I haven't heard from you AGAIN. By the way, were you able to print one of the best designs I sent to fit on your T-shirt for the New Year's Eve partying out with your friends and Norah? Let me know. Could you not have done it perfectly or something? I am not so sure. What would you require me to do to spearhead your roller coaster project task. Let me know ok. We have to start making quick plans so as to start off the construction works and get the project completed on or before summer 2009 ok. The earlier the better- take note.
I look forward to your response earliest.


I'll have a couple of ideas to drop on him later. Cool

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Ninastian
419Eater is my life


Joined: 19 Sep 2006
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:09 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

BluthBanana (baiting as J W4lter Weatherm4n, who plans to raise the lost island of Atl4ntis and set up a polygamous community there) thought that it mught be fun if he also worked as assistant to the lad we are baiting. Very Happy

No sooner said than done!

Sir Ch4rles tells the lad about his new sidekick:

Quote:
JWW phoned me last night. He feels that you are not devoting enough time and energy to his affairs. I have therefore decided to give you some help, at least until you get fully up to speed. I am assigning Robert L0blaw, one of A4LA's brightest Research Analysts, to help you with Mr We4therman's modality. He will do everything that you tell him, unless I tell him otherwise. In return, you will allocate him one percent of the total revenue you receive from Mr We4therman (leaving you with 49% and me with the remaining 50%).

Make sure that you use him productively and do not waste his time with child's play. I will review your combined performance at the end of the month, so be prepared to list your achievements.

I will leave Robert to introduce himself to you. You can trust him 110%.

Robert: I want you to cc me all e-mails you send to, and receive from, [the lad]. I also note that you have not yet completed your 2009 Performance Appraisal forms - I must have these by close of business TODAY!


Robert is keen - and introduces himself to the lad, who is now his colleague and boss:

Quote:
thank you for this chance sir ch4rles i wont dissapoint you one bit! i will send you my performnce apraisal forms soonest today, i promise!

[To the lad:] i have heard so much about you and i am most excited to work under you on this project. it is indeed a great honor for me!! i know that in alla i can truely suceed if i work very hard and do everything that you and sir ch4rles tells me. please brief me on your project and tell me what i should do. i want very much to suceed and move up the ladders in alla.


The lad takes his new responsibilities seriously:

Quote:
Robert,

Good to hear from you. Welcome on board A4LA success train! Rolling Eyes Big Ginger!!

First and foremost, I am Dr. Buck1er (NOT a Mr.), but my associational name at A4LA is Mr.Richard He4d. You can either refer me as Dr. Buck1er or Mr. Richard. Is that taken? Good.

Having said that, below is the briefing you need about the project I have been working on and WHAT YOU MUST do respectively:

Project:
We are trying to help an American client (whose name you already know) repopulate a sunken island of Atlantis after its original location has been discovered and re-established. The Atlantis continent was traced back to an ancient civilization that was destroyed by a great flood over 12,000 years ago. A Greek philosopher whose name is Plato propounded the theory in his work known as Timaeus and Critias dialogue. For additional information, you can google "Atl4ntis Continent."

This client is aware I am setting up over 1,750 professionals who will go on expedition to find the original location for this continent. He and his wives are desperate to repopulate this continent with millions of dollars. They believe they will make HUGE returns on the investment afterwards and in the nearby future. I must say J W4lter has one of the BIGGEST DREAMS inherent in billionaires' mind today! He is prepared to pay hundreds of thousands in US dollars for the initial research works using high-tech equipments and sonar devices etc. I have taken my time to prepare this documents (over 13 Ms word pages) , but I still have to do some finishing touches.

This client is a polygamist and he resides in New York. He needs the Atlantis continent of a "new society" to legalize polygamous and gay marriages. In effect of this, he needs a blueprint for the layout of the new polygamist establishment they plan on building on Atlantis to support rehabitation. This new polygamist establishment will incorporate gay marriage- take note. I have already done all the research work I need, but I need to see how much talented you are on research works! I also need to see how productive you can work under a limited time. I NEED YOU to send me this information before the 7PM Thursday UK time. Don't worry about presenting this report in a blueprint, I have to review your work and see if it matches with the sort of information I should require from an expert, then I can incorporate it in my blueprint standing documents. Sir Ch4rles asked that I give you 1% out of my share of the project, but I can give you 2% if your job exhibit the "brightest skill" I should expect from a good research subordinate.

Get this prepared. It mustn't be less than 500 words. Make sure it represents high-profile-legally-classified-information from a typical attorney. I think this will give you some clue: For instance, you are mandated by the president of a state to prepare a constitutional law legalizing polygamy and gay marriage in a country- how can you represent it as a lawyer? This should give you additional information on what you need. I repeat, you MUST incorporate "gay marriage" in your work.
I have access to e-mail between this time and 5AM Thursday morning. You are free to ask me questions. I am online!

Richard He4d.
PS It takes HARD WORK and high intellectual knowledge (building your mental powers) to succeed in "G" trade. This is my advice to you. No dulling! I hereby ginger you! Laughing
PSS Listen, whether you submit your report by Thursday evening or not, I MUST send my well-organized report to J W4lter for Friday morning.


Yep - stark, staring bonkers!!

Robert replies:

Quote:
dr.buckl3r

thank you for the big ginger!! i want to work very hard for you and make you and sir ch4rles very proud. i have one question tho. are you wanting me to write a law about gay m4rriages for you? i can do any work you want but i need clarify. thank you for this great oportunity.


On reading this, Sir Ch4rles butts in:

Quote:
[To the lad]: Why did you not give Robert clear instructions?

Robert: I see that you are working through the night again. That is good - just the kind of commitment that A4LA will reward. Good man! Big ginger!! Also, Lord Stiffwi11y wrote to thank A4LA for the work you did valuing the Alb4nian farms. He has said that he will invest the first 1.35 million pounce once he has cashed in his wife's pension policies - probably by the end of January. You will receive 2.5% of these funds as promised. Even bigger ginger!! A great start to the new year. But I sill need those Performance Appraisal forms from you by the end of TODAY.


The youngster is beginning to have the desired effect on our lad:

Quote:
Don't be a dull brain! Simply write a law (a constitutional outline) for a new society legalizing gay and polyg4mist marriage. It mustn't be less than 500 words. Don't waste my time! You have to prepare this document as though you are forwarding it to the president of a state. I couldn't have been clearer than my initial e-mail depicts!


In due course Robert sends an .doc file to the lad and Sir Ch4rles. In true 419-eater style it is 1.5MB of renamed .dll file (or whatever) - the lad will never be able to open it. The accompanying message reads:

Quote:
dr.buckl3r,

thank you i worked very hard on this and it is very good. i think you will be very happy with this work.

robert


Shortly afterwards, Sir Ch4rles send this to Robert, cc the lad: Twisted Evil

Quote:
Excellent work Robert. I especially liked the bit about tax incentives - very creative.

There is a typo in para 7, page 29 - it should read "fiscal" and not "ficsal". Otherwise top notch.

Extra-big ginger!


Robert takes the praise with due modesty (again, cc-ing the lad):

Quote:
sir ch4rles,

thank you for the big ginger!! it feels very good to do this work for you and dr. buckl3r. i hope to one day rise to the level that you to are at. the work you do is genuis.

dr. buckl3r, i am ready for my next assinment as soon as you are ready. i hope this work has proved myself to you.


So - does our lad let on that he hasn't been able to open the document? Watch this space!! Very Happy

_________________
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Closed lad accounts Several
Oh [the captive] ate his own willy!!! HAHAHAHA. I saw the look of excitement in his eyes like no other meat taste better!! yummm yummm! HAHAHAAHAHA. He cut his big right toe, his penis and penis shaft at different stages- funny funny funny!! He did this where some promiscous women do all sort of things. I know they were all thrilled. ahahahahahhhhhaaaaaa. His penis shaft was sewn to his nostril and more!! The doctor did a good job!! My men took picture of him parading him around the market square and public schools where everyone sang him wanker praises!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! I will continue to torture him unless I receive my $150,000 reward for wasting my time!! Period!
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Star A Star
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 03 Jul 2008
Posts: 821
Location: Chad Central


PostPosted: Fri Jan 09, 2009 2:43 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^my guess would be no he won't let on not to Sir Charles at least

great work by the way Thumbs up

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pony
i am tired and i am waisting my morning
i am tired of all these rusbish, i am waisiting my time andf mone
Ok i will try and take the form to my staff members, once i get the form filled, i am not ready to fill another form, make sure that this is all the forms, i am going to fill them and once i get them done, i will not fill another form
If you see how i was insulted in the western union office, you will pitty me - nope you're wrong there pal
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Ninastian
419Eater is my life


Joined: 19 Sep 2006
Posts: 416


PostPosted: Fri Jan 09, 2009 3:30 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

He had to come clean when Sir C pressed him on whether he had forwarded it to the client yet.

Quote:
I COULDN'T YET VIEW (READ OR REVIEW) THE DOCUMENTS ROBERT SUBMITTED TO ME. IN THE MEANTIME, I AM WORKING ON MY OWN WORK. THE FILE HE SENT WAS CORRUPT. I NEED HIM TO RESEND HIS WORK TO ME VIA PDF FILE OR JUST PAIN TEXT! I TOLD HIM THIS SINCE YESTERDAY BUT I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM HIM. IT SUCKS!!!


As I write this a game of "double-slappy" is underway, with Sir C demanding why the lad can't open a simple Word doc, and Robert playing the innocent and trying to help the lad find out what the problem is with his computer. The lad's stress level is SKY HIGH! Evil or Very Mad

Sir Charles is brutal as ever:

Quote:
WHY CAN YOU NOT OPEN A SIMPLE WORD DOCUMENT?????

HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO WORK WITH A4LA IF YOU CANNOT EVEN DO THAT? YOU MUST KNOW THAT E-MAIL IS THE MAIN MEANS OF COMMUNICATION WITH OUR CLIENTS!!


...whereas young Robert is being more constructive:

Quote:
i dont understand what the problem is because sir ch4rles said he could open it. maybe there is a problems wit your computer?


I've got some RL stuff to do - so (writing as Sir Ch4rles) I thought I'd up the pressure on the lad even more:

Quote:
I have to go to the bank in a minute to deposit a very large amount of cash. I will be back in the office at 5pm UK time. If you have not sorted this out and forwarded the document to the client by that time, then you might as well find a quiet back yard in Lagos, dig your own grave, and get in.

Do you understand???

I have NEVER had ANYONE at A4LA promise something like this to such an important client, and then fail to deliver. It will not happen now.


Let's see if the lad and Robert can sort it out while I'm away... Evil or Very Mad

_________________
Safari Sea-Mugu, London-Is1e of Wight
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Closed lad accounts Several
Oh [the captive] ate his own willy!!! HAHAHAHA. I saw the look of excitement in his eyes like no other meat taste better!! yummm yummm! HAHAHAAHAHA. He cut his big right toe, his penis and penis shaft at different stages- funny funny funny!! He did this where some promiscous women do all sort of things. I know they were all thrilled. ahahahahahhhhhaaaaaa. His penis shaft was sewn to his nostril and more!! The doctor did a good job!! My men took picture of him parading him around the market square and public schools where everyone sang him wanker praises!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! I will continue to torture him unless I receive my $150,000 reward for wasting my time!! Period!
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SlapHappy
Body Eater


Joined: 15 May 2006
Posts: 9612
Location: Floating up and down with happiness.


PostPosted: Fri Jan 09, 2009 7:37 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

HA! Laughing Stupid question: Who is playing the Lord Stiffw1lly character?
And what is this Albanian Farm project? Smile

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BluthBanana
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Joined: 16 Sep 2008
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 09, 2009 8:16 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Uninformed answer: they're both even more fictitious than what we have him doing because they're an example used to help convince D1ck H3ad that Robert is legit. Unless Sir C is busier than we though Wink

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Ninastian
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 09, 2009 10:46 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^^^

Dead right BB - I just throw in things like this to make A4LA look more successful (the "Madoff technique").

_________________
Safari Sea-Mugu, London-Is1e of Wight
Safari Safari dickboi, Lagos-Abidjan and Lagos-Accra
Closed lad accounts Several
Oh [the captive] ate his own willy!!! HAHAHAHA. I saw the look of excitement in his eyes like no other meat taste better!! yummm yummm! HAHAHAAHAHA. He cut his big right toe, his penis and penis shaft at different stages- funny funny funny!! He did this where some promiscous women do all sort of things. I know they were all thrilled. ahahahahahhhhhaaaaaa. His penis shaft was sewn to his nostril and more!! The doctor did a good job!! My men took picture of him parading him around the market square and public schools where everyone sang him wanker praises!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! I will continue to torture him unless I receive my $150,000 reward for wasting my time!! Period!
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SlapHappy
Body Eater


Joined: 15 May 2006
Posts: 9612
Location: Floating up and down with happiness.


PostPosted: Fri Jan 09, 2009 11:54 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Thanks for the explanation. I thought for a minute there like we had another baiter on board with another crazy scheme to keep the lad busy. Smile

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Worf
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 11:26 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I was just wondering how this bait was going?

I loved the character of Emil and his hamster Laughing

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SlapHappy
Body Eater


Joined: 15 May 2006
Posts: 9612
Location: Floating up and down with happiness.


PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2009 2:27 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

@Worf - Hello, there girlie friend! Long time no see ok. Wink
Ninastian, Yastreb, BluthBanana and I have been running our lad ragged with our projects. We had to go underground for various reasons. I'm hoping that someday we could publish the whole thing, as it is an Epic Bait. This lad is the hardest working lad in Ladland! Very Happy And it's been going on for years now on multiple baits by Ninastian.

Emil is hoping to get the idiot lad to print and ship his t-shirts, as he has been suffering because of this lad! This just sent from Emil today:

Quote:
Where are my t-shirts? You make me lier every day and I am getting angry. Principal of school here find out I punch boy and knock his teeth out and give him black eye. Now he is mad at me and give me detention have to stay after school and sit in room with a bunch of assholes ok till dinnertime 2 hours everyday ok. Now I can't play football either on team either you idiot because you not ship shirts to me. I not tell my father yet what you do or why I punch boy only Sir Charles stop me before. But if you not ship them in few days and send me tracking like you promise me I dump your ass in the road and find someone else to build my roller coaster ok. Last chance asshole. I no wait for you for much longer. Three days you got ok. If I not see my shirts shipping monday you are toast and I tell Sir Charles to fire you ok. Here is design again so you got no excuse to say you no have have right one either ok dipshit.

Pees and luv.

Emil Smile
Laughing

Update! The lad responds..
Quote:
Dear Emil,
You will have your t-shirts ok? Just give me a few more days- latest by next week Friday. I promise you! I will make sure you have the tracking or the delivery at your address. You know I am working with another printing company. I have to make sure they do the printing works as you would love it. No need for resending me the design you want. I know that already. Please don't be aggressive anymore. Be calm at school. Don't listen to anyone calling you a liar. They are going to be put to shame real soon. If not for what happened the last time - I mean the robbery incident; you should have the t-shirts by now. Please don't give another boy black eye anymore. I am also very sorry that you are detained for 2 hours each day and that doesn't allow you to play football with your team. How sad. I am really sorry about that.

Also, please don't tell your father that I am not working to get your t-shirts to you asap, am really doing my best! I wish you were here to see it for yourself! Also, please don't get Sir Charles to sack me ok? You will have the shipping details as I told you ok. I hate giving you excuses, but circumstances do change plans sometimes.
Hope my e-mail finds you well.
Remain blessed,
R H
It is my utmost goal to build you the world-best roller coaster!

I'm not interested in excuses ok only results! Evil or Very Mad

Emil get's angrier after RH's latest email!

Quote:
Dear Mr. R H,

You story about robbery is bullshit ok I not believe you at all so do not try to snowball me with that crapola ok. There were no robbers the fact is you did nothing on the shirts at all and just make up anothe story to tell me you think i believe. You bullshit artist ok coming out both ears and mouth too ok. You say next week Friday I get shirts? I say that is not soon enough as you will not be working for me next week Friday ok. I get my shirts shipped by this coming Monday, February 16th by you, or you are fired on Tuesday the 17th ok.

I not listen to you lying excuses no more. You have only one excuse left ok and that is that you are dead before Monday ok.

I am not interested in excuses, only results.

Pees and luv.

Emil Smile
Emil does not like detention! Nice to have a lad around to slap to release some aggression! Laughing

Update! Last exchange of the day.

Quote:
Dear Emil,

Pour yourself a nice glass of wine ok. I know you are very angry that is why you don't believe me. Please relax! I don't believe in excuses either, but results ok. Give me one last chance. It is not in my character to disappoint my clients. You will get the t-shirt between Monday and Friday next week ok. This is my promise to you. If I fail you, then don't believe whatever I say hence ok. Don't wish me dead ok when I have good plans for you to have (quality t-shirts prints, your roller coaster model) and your roller coaster actual construction work and your theme park- "best of YouTube".

I know how much angry you are. But I am going to cc Sir Charles on this message, so he could explain that I am working very hard NOT to disappoint you or let him down. Listen Emil it is possible you get the t-shirt's tracking by Monday, but my promise is that unfailingly you will be able to receive the t-shirts delivered to you by Friday God's willing.

Give me this last chance, you will be glad you did! No circumstances we set us back this time!


Hope my e-mail finds you well.

Remain blessed!

R H
====
Dear Mr. R H,

I wish I could drink glass of wine but drinking age is 21 here ok and against law. I told you America is not as fun as Germany ok. I don't believe you not because i am angry but because it is true you lie ok. I give you this one last chance you better not blow it or I blow you off ok. I not wish you dead I say dead is only excuse left for you. Is different ok. You get them to me by Friday either God willing or unwilling. Better be good news next week for me. I go do homework now.

Pees and luv.

Emil Smile

I hate this bad side of Emil's character! So, he better send me my trophies, soon! Mad I want to get back to the happy, carefree Emil, who talks about girls, hamsters, discoteks, and roller coasters! Very Happy

_________________
Sand Timer x Reven U., Fats Walla, Donny
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Golden Pith x3 H3ctor & [email protected] - Yankar1 & Parakou
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