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 Richard He4d Ladshare ***FIRST EVER ROLLERCOASTER TROPHY!***

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Ivana
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 21, 2008 12:39 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I can just see smoke coming out of his ears as he tries to juggle such demanding people Twisted Evil

Very impressed

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Yastreb
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 21, 2008 10:42 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Dick told Mal:

Quote:
Dr. Haf1z 0guns... may not be very friendly because we don't have much in common, unless you want to be one of his company's investor?


Dick wasn't bullshitting. Mal wrote:

Quote:
I am an intended investor in the Eth1opian Electr1f1cation Project under the umbrella of R1chard H3ad of P0st-H0c C0unter-L3v3raged F1scal St1mulus Der1vatives, in which the company on whose board you serve is a participant. I have issues to discuss and would appreciate your time on this.


All nice and polite - but I was writing to Mr Grumpy.

Quote:
Yes I am a board member of NECS- National Electricity Corporation of Sudan. Our Company is listed among the contracting companies in the Eth1op1an Electr1f1cation Project. The name R1chard H3ad rings a bell. I guess his firm offers legal and financial brokerage and investment services. We exchanged business cards a few months ago after we stumbled upon each other the first time in a conference meeting in Kosovo. I don't think we have discussed any business issues. How come you have my contact? Obviously he gave you my e-mail.
What issues do you have to discuss with me? I hope it is worth my precious time. Do you want to investor in our company? I don't think I will entertain any irritating irrelevancy as I have great use of my time. Every second I spent checking e-mails is of extreme importance to me. Before you contact me further, make sure it verifies to my satisfaction. Thank you!


Mal was icy:

Quote:
Thank you for your prompt reply.
I was considering investing in your company with the help of Mr H3ad. To that end, I wish to know more about your operations in Ethiopia with a view to working out where my investment dollars might best be committed.
I hope for a prompt, but less rude, answer.

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SlapHappy
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 21, 2008 11:42 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Richard sent Emil another email to see if I received my package.
Quote:
from R1chard H3ad
to Emil
cc Sir Charles
date Sun, Dec 21, 2008 at 3:39 AM
subject RE: Drawing/Specification/ T1schbein T0rnad0 Coaster. Wonderful Concept!!

Mr. Emil Tischbein,
CC: Sir Charles

Please confirm to me the receipt of my e-mail (as shown below) for your Roller Coaster's construction/projection and legal start up procedures ok. I am copying this e-mail to Sir Charles once again for him to be well acquainted of the progress made thus far. Look I promised to do everything possible for your roller coaster construction project, theme park etc to be completed on or before Summer 2009 as long as you do everything I say ok.

Anxiously waiting for your response, advice and quick actions.

Remain blessed,
R1chard H3ad.
PS Your roller coaster will be built to meet all your criterias- this is my assurance to you. There is absolutely nothing to worry about!

All the bold and red letters were in his email. I don't think Emil likes to be bossed around, though. Cool

I shot the puppy a quick message:
Quote:
from Emil Tischbein
to R1chard H3ad
date Sun, Dec 21, 2008 at 6:07 AM
subject Re: Drawing/Specification/ T1schbein T0rnad0 Coaster. Wonderful Concept!!

Dear R1chard H3ad,

I get your emails both ok. Not had much time to look in detail. Roller Caoster design may need some more work. But I see you you make speed and length good ok. We talk more after Christmas vacation over.

I look fo Houdini today I see his footprint in garden outside. He must crawl out window to scape house. He eat my beans and peas. Houdini alive but not find him yet ok. Norah coming to help me look for Houdini. We have pizza to lure him out where he hide. He loves Norah's pizza better than cookie.

Have good Christmas ok.

Emil Smile
Laughing

edit: some l33ting

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Last edited by SlapHappy on Tue Dec 30, 2008 12:22 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 21, 2008 11:59 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Update. Damn, this guy writes back fast! Right after I posted my response above^^, I found this nice Merry Christmas wish. I just love the concern he shows for Emil's hamster. Laughing

Quote:
from R1chard H3ad
to Emil
date Sun, Dec 21, 2008 at 6:49 AM
subject RE: Drawing/Specification/ T1schbein T0rnad0 Coaster. Wonderful Concept!!


Mr. Emil Tischbein,

Thanks for your response Mr. Emil. I am glad you got both e-mails I sent you. Perhaps you will have more time to look in details after Christmas vacation is over. You don't have to worry- whatever additional work you may consider in your roller coaster design will be incorporate in the construction phase. Just let me know what it is ok and I will put it on record for the designers, construction team etc. They are ready and very much prepared to give you the best!

I will look forward to your update after Christmas vacation is over. I hope you and Norah find Houdini soon. He needs to be alive! He needs to get back home! He needs to be safe, healthy and sound! Remember we are preparing for him to have a special ride on your roller coaster after completion. Cheers!

Wishing you, Norah and your entire family a merry Christmas in advance!
R1chard H3ad
Cheers! Laughing

edit: some l33ting

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Last edited by SlapHappy on Tue Dec 30, 2008 12:24 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Ninastian
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 22, 2008 10:06 am Reply with quoteBack to top

The lad has worked really hard on that rollercoaster design. So hands up if you think he deserves to put his feet up and take it easy over Christmas? Smile

Thought so. Evil or Very Mad

As his oga, I believe in the benefits of hard work:

Quote:
I dearly wanted to ginger you about the rollercoaster design document you wrote - but I cannot. It is an insult to even the limited intelligence of Emi1 Tischbein! We must hope and pray that he has not yet read it in detail. It is riddled with errors and inconsistencies, and does not meet the requirements which he made 100% clear to me and to you. It also looks like something a goat-molesting Lagos scammer would send to a 90-year-old American widow. I cannot believe what a shoddy piece of work it is - a real child's play and time waster.

We may still be able to save the situation. You must write to Emi1 today telling him that you sent him an early draft by mistake. Tell him not to read it, nor to show it to anyone else. Then you must work without dulling to GET IT RIGHT.

The first thing you must do is DESIGN IT SO IT IS ONE THIRD OVERGROUND, ONE THIRD UNDERGROUND, AND ONE THIRD UNDER WATER!!!!! Why could you not understand this simple instructions? Or was it simply that you could not be bothered to do a good job?? Yet again, I have to ask myself whether you are stupid, lazy, or (most likely) both. Either way, I am going to have to give up my Christmas holiday to keep this transaction on track. I expect you to do the same. You must send me an updated document for my review BY 23:59 UK TIME ON CHRISTMAS DAY. I will then decide whether we should forward it to Emi1 on 26 December.

One other thing. This is supposed to be a blueprint document - yet even a child like Emi1 will be able to recognise it as a fake. Do you know why a blueprint is called a blueprint, you imbecile? BECAUSE IT IS PRINTED ON BLUE PAPER!!!!!!! So you must re-format the document so that the backgroung is dark blue, and all the text, lines, drawings etc are white. Only then will it look like a professional design blueprint. I cannot BELEIVE how you failed to do this!!!

Right - get down to work now and have it ready for me by the end of Christmas day. Meanwhile I will try to repair some of the damage with Emi1, his father and his relatives. This will cost me time and money. Believe me, I am angry.

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SlapHappy
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 23, 2008 4:56 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Richard sent me an excuse to stall me....
Quote:
from R1chard H3ad
to emil
date Mon, Dec 22, 2008 at 3:58 PM
subject RE: Drawing/Specification/ T1schbein T0rnad0 Coaster. Wonderful Concept!!

Mr. Emil Tischbein,

I have just got the original blueprint design of your roller coaster. Looks wonderful! Please discard the initial copy I sent to you. I even noticed it contains some errors too. Do not show it to anyone ok- including your family and relatives. I will send you the original blueprint design copy as soon as I am done uploading an anti-virus on my computer. I have tried several times to attach the file but I kept getting errors to reactivate my anti-virus for quick e-mail attachment scans.

I will get back to you soon.

Remain blessed,
R1chard H3ad


edit: some l33ting

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Last edited by SlapHappy on Tue Dec 30, 2008 12:25 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Ninastian
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 23, 2008 9:07 am Reply with quoteBack to top

The lazy lad won't give up his Christmas day easily. He sent this to his oga (=me):

Quote:
Why do you always wait until there is a mistake before you make corrections? I don't understand. Anyway, I am going to do as you say. But you MUST KNOW that the drawing can't really reveal one third underground, one third overground and one third under water it will become meaningless (a R-E-A-L child's play)....I could just put equal measure on each arena by indicating length of each of them in metres (or maybe in ft). This is how it should work on the drawing phase.


His oga (=me) will have none of this:

Quote:
Don't you understand - if Emi1 says he wants it to be one third underground and one third underwater, then THAT IS WHAT HE MUST HAVE!!!!!

If Emi1 says he wants it made out of ice cream, then as long as he is prepared to pay for it, give him a design for the world's first ice cream rollercoaster. Lordy mama, boi - it doesn't matter what might be a good idea in your "real world", because the only real world that matters here is the world inside Emi1's head.

He is one of the richest kids in Europe, and also one of the dumbest. We will be able to find a hundred and one reasons not to build whatever it is you design, and Emi1 will pay us because for him it is all a game. He has NO CONCEPT of the value of money, because he has never had to earn a penny in his life. And you MUST know that I will manage his father and other family members - that is why I am so angry that I am doing more work than you on this modalities. Very Happy

So pull your lazy finger out of your flaccid arse boi and DESIGN THE ROLLERCOASTER THE WAY EM1L ASKED FOR IT, AND PRESENT IT AS A PROPER BLUEPRINT. If you want to know what a proper, professional blueprint looks like, just use Google Images to search for the work "blueprint, and you will see. Even a fool like you could produce a document with a dark blue background and white letters/lines/drawings.

AND I MUST HAVE IT BY THE END OF CHRISTMAS DAY BECAUSE EM1L'S FATHER HAS INVITED ME TO LUNCH AT HIS CASTLE ON BOXING DAY TO DISCUSS EM1L'S INHERITANCE PLANNING. I cannot stress enough how important that meeting will be. I MUST have the complete blueprint with me.

So get down to work NOW boi. No dulling!

Remember, we will make tens of millions of dollars from these modality. And you will get a 50% share.

_________________
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Oh [the captive] ate his own willy!!! HAHAHAHA. I saw the look of excitement in his eyes like no other meat taste better!! yummm yummm! HAHAHAAHAHA. He cut his big right toe, his penis and penis shaft at different stages- funny funny funny!! He did this where some promiscous women do all sort of things. I know they were all thrilled. ahahahahahhhhhaaaaaa. His penis shaft was sewn to his nostril and more!! The doctor did a good job!! My men took picture of him parading him around the market square and public schools where everyone sang him wanker praises!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! I will continue to torture him unless I receive my $150,000 reward for wasting my time!! Period!
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Ninastian
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 23, 2008 2:57 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Emi1 isn't the only one receiving a poor service from our lad - C4pt Mal hasn't been too impressed either, as he makes quite clear to Richard:

Quote:
I was supposed to trust you to run the financial side. Now from what I've seen so far, you're not doing much running of anything! I'm asking for hard data on returns from investment, and you seem incredibly blase about it; why?

And yes, I've gotten the enhanced version, so-called - which you sent to me once, and proved to be a shoddy effort. I shall be forwarding that to Sir Ch4rles with my disapproval.


Needless to day, Sir C (=me) forwarded a good slapping to the lad:

Quote:
This is the FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE that I have received a letter like this from one of my clients. What are you trying to do - destroy my business?????

Get down to some serious work or I will transfer these clients to one of my other associates, who can be relied on to do a good job first time without me having to hold their hand all the time like a child!

You must write to the good Captain NOW, to apologise and explain how you will make amends for your shoddy work. Meanwhile I will do all I can to prevent him walking away from us.

Yet again, you have been stupid and lazy, and I have to do the real work to clear up the mess!!

Fool!


To be fair, the lad takes it constructively:

Quote:
Sir,
I am not trying to destroy your business. The Captain of a guy is very unpredictable! Now I know better! I will do as you say. I will write the good Captain NOW, to apologize and explain how I will make amends for my shoddy work. OK Sir. I am sorry for making you go through some stress because of my non-professional work.
I am no fool, stupid or lazy, I am doing all I can. I need your guidance sometimes to make me a better guyman. No one is perfect- you MUST know.


What a pet! Evil or Very Mad

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Oh [the captive] ate his own willy!!! HAHAHAHA. I saw the look of excitement in his eyes like no other meat taste better!! yummm yummm! HAHAHAAHAHA. He cut his big right toe, his penis and penis shaft at different stages- funny funny funny!! He did this where some promiscous women do all sort of things. I know they were all thrilled. ahahahahahhhhhaaaaaa. His penis shaft was sewn to his nostril and more!! The doctor did a good job!! My men took picture of him parading him around the market square and public schools where everyone sang him wanker praises!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! I will continue to torture him unless I receive my $150,000 reward for wasting my time!! Period!
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Yastreb
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 23, 2008 7:43 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Here's his apology:

Quote:
Against all odds, I want to assure you I will represent your interest on the financial side. You have to trust me to guarantee you a safe, very healthy and highly beneficial reward (.i.e. with very HUGE returns) on your overseas investment.

I am sincerely sorry for what you feel about my expertise. Given that you disapprove of my services to some extent that you have had to report to Sir Ch4r1es, you MUST know that I am not bias.


Obviously blase (with or without the acute accent) is not in his vocabulary.

Quote:
Hence I promise to do better than what you described as a shoddy effort on my part. I did promise Sir Ch4r1es after he introduce our legal, financial and investment advisory services to you in the beginning (and till date) that I was going to treat you "specially." I don't want to let either of you down. Please do not be angry any further. I have a very large workload at this time- series of business meetings- plus other financial issues I have to manage. In the legal and financial industry, it is hard sometime to satisfy a large number of investors at the same time. This is the case with you and me. I sincerely apologize for everything. However, I will not neglect other investors but give them the same level of concentration they require. I will improve my legal and financial representative expertise and ensure it is well- managed in such a way that will not cause you to feel I am not representing you well.

With that being said, I will send you hard data on your returns from investment shortly....

Please accept my apology for the “shoddy” piece of work I show to your business.


Noted, but not forgotten! Wink

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 24, 2008 10:34 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I don't know why, but I just love the Emil character for some reason Laughing

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Yastreb
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 26, 2008 7:13 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Mal hasn't lightened up over the festive season. He just fired off this icy little missive to Dick:

Quote:
If you're under that much pressure, I'm sure that Sir Char1es will happily find someone else to handle my business...
I mean it - if you can't handle the pressure, maybe you're in the wrong business! Holy snapping duckshit - I don't recall ever telling my superiors that shoddy work was the result of having too many men in my unit! If you're down to that sort of excuse, then don't bother writing to me; just say goodbye.
If you don't get me those documents, in proper detail, then I'll assume you're not up to the task and let Sir Char1es. I know he'll be angry at you showing him up after the way he introduced you to me. Just hope I don't have to do that. Apologies are all very well, but only if there's remedial action to follow. Do you read me?


I do hope he makes me write to Sir Char1es...

Two days ago, Dr Haf1z wrote back, in a rather chatty mood this time!

Quote:
Ma1co1m,
Our operations in Ethiopia involve setting up several power stations in Ethiopia at various strategic locations. We have been assigned the task of electrifying a few urban cities, but mainly rural power demand centres. Only 13% of Ethiopia's population has access to uninterrupted electricity. Almost all electrified centres are urban, with rural areas as well as most small rural towns largely unelectrified or poorly electrified with very low voltage distributions and depending on Nile thermal energy source and its attributes. It is our goal to provide electricity access to 11% of Ethiopia population.
We are not seeking investors to manage or execute this project but if you want to invest in our company, you are highly welcome. We offer fantastic returns on investment. Your investment return rates will become very lucrative in the long-run. Our company's financial statement will convince you that our company is doing excellently well. If you are indeed interested to invest with us, we will provide you necessary investment application requirement documents, regulatory provisions, investment statement etc through our company attorney. Mr. H3ad and our attorney can work things out together on your behalf.
Thank you!
Yours truly,
Dr. Haf1 0guns (N3CS board member)


Mal was icy once again:

Quote:
I'd rather you referred to me as "Mr Reynolds", if it's all the same to you. Let's ditch the coffee-table chit chat and keep it on a professional level. Mr Head provided your details as I wanted to hear from the front runners on the project. My particular interest is in the geothermal generators as these would very likely be far easier to build than hydro-electric plants and dams. I'd like to see the project write-ups so I can judge if that's where I want my money to go. Please send me the financial statements and other documents (as mentioned) to that end.

_________________
I will heed the advice of a polite horse for it is written that more flies are caught with honey than vinegar... although assault carbines and monstrous wolves are still fun.

"I aim to misbehave."

Asena - Pretty Rose
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SlapHappy
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 26, 2008 1:15 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Sir Charles sent Richard this reply, before he even opened the re-worked attachment. Laughing It's not much different than the last one. Evil or Very Mad See it here:

http://www.4shared.com/file/77637806/75c6e01b/T1schbein_T0rnad0_Roller_Coaster.html?

Quote:
This is totally unacceptable!!!!

DO WHAT I TOLD YOU TO DO, you lazy boi!

If I show this to Emil's father, he will stop any further business with AALA, we will have lost millions, and you will be lying in a shallow grave next to a Lagos highway before the New Year. Do you understand?

DO IT PROPERLY!!!!!!

Fool!


---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: R1chard H3ad
Date: Wed, Dec 24, 2008 at 8:43 AM
Subject: RE: Rollercoaster Design Blueprint - What a Child's Play!!!!!
To: Sir Charles


Sir,
I don't have to wait till 23:59 on Christmas day to send you this "blueprint" professional edition of T1schbein T0rnad0. I looked out for all possible errors and corrected them. Two, I paid more attention to Emil's request of a "one third underground one third underwater and overground" area of his roller coaster by indicating a table below the original (design) drawing. This is the very best I could do under this limited time. I wish you a successful meeting with Emil's father to discuss his son's inheritance funds on a roller coaster (investment) project.
So, he's got more work to do on it, before Emil gets to see it. Smile

edit: some l33ting

_________________
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Last edited by SlapHappy on Tue Dec 30, 2008 11:52 pm; edited 2 times in total
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SlapHappy
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Posts: 9614
Location: Floating up and down with happiness.


PostPosted: Sat Dec 27, 2008 3:01 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Sir Charles is on a real rampage on the lad, and slaps him NSFW!!
[email protected] send another redo to Charles, but Emil hasn't gotten it yet from him. He makes it blue background with white lines, but it doen't look quite right. Smile You can look here, if you are interested in his new drawing:

http://www.4shared.com/file/77784186/1cf71cc6/T1schbein_T0rnad0.html

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Last edited by SlapHappy on Tue Dec 30, 2008 11:53 pm; edited 1 time in total
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DarkVegetableMatter
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 12 Mar 2008
Posts: 51
Location: Where ever I get your Goat, that's my home


PostPosted: Sat Dec 27, 2008 4:26 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

hehehhe, in the section of the .pdf starting Special Appreciation (Oh, the irony)

Quote:
... the smoothest, most twisted and highest quality ...


That .pdf is fricking awesome, a real piece of art. 11 pages and most of them with words on! There's even some adding up on page 8 (I haven't checked it though, cant be arsed Wink )

Not sure it's worth 50K though even with the Theoretical Drawing. Ask for a finite element analysis of the stresses on the truss flanges. Contingencies if the spiggot bushing parts from the Jesus bolt. Maybe he could illustrate the main thrust vectors on his Theoretical Drawing - he seems to like that Theoretical Drawing, so do I, it must have taken ages Twisted Evil

Why not suggest he goes to Uni and earns a degree in engineering or something? Then you can amuse yourself offering educational grants (and experiences Twisted Evil )

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Worf
Elite Baiter


Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 1690
Location: Florida - it's hot down here


PostPosted: Sat Dec 27, 2008 7:24 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Emil's reaction to the first .pdf
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbcctWbC8Q0

_________________
"Honey there no way to go out side camp without peppers and passport." - M1racle Y0rm1e
"Either you are lying or you are not telling the truth here, buddy." - H4rrison Ford (the lad, not the actor of course)
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Ninastian
419Eater is my life


Joined: 19 Sep 2006
Posts: 416


PostPosted: Sat Dec 27, 2008 11:29 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

The lad has now realised that he has wasted his Christmas holiday - and more - on Emil's mad scheme. He blurts it out all out to his oga (=me):

Quote:
I keep sending my money on this ridiculous coaster and you will not appreciate my work whereas you are NO EM1L. I don't sleep at night, all I do is work, work and work, and yet all you do is complain and complain. Very Happy I am NO LONGER INTERESTED in your scheme! Sad Find someone else to do your jobs! I don't know what kind of boss you are!!!! You will not guide me where necessary. You think I am stupid!!! Sorry I am not! You got someone to take my 250K (my labour) and you will not pay me and all you call me is lazy. I have been a fool for some time now, but I am no LONGER going to remain that fool you think I am. Good bye F-O-R-E-V-E-R


Pretty good summary really... Very Happy

But we don't want to lose any of our lads, do we? So Sir Ch4rles gives some fatherly encouragement:

Quote:
You should not despair! Everything I do, I do it for you!!

You have the potential to make milloins of dollars from these mugus. Many of my associates have earned that sort of money in the past. What they all have in common is an ability to work hard and focus on the prize. The things you say about me, you are really saying about yourself. You are not cross with me - you are simply frustrated at your own inability to meet the high standards that you know you are capable of.

So here's what I will do - I will convince Emi1 that the most important thing in the short term is to work on some of the simpler tasks - like designing the rollercoaster t-shirt. That will give you more time to sort out the actual design of the ride. Believe me we both have exactly the same objectives here - to screw every penny we can out of those mugus!! I have no interest in humiliating you. Remember - I will share 50% of all the dollars we make together!

So please accept this as a BIG GINGER and let's get back to work when you've calmed down a little.


I think that a bit of t-shirt modelling should be well within our lad's capabilities... Very Happy

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Oh [the captive] ate his own willy!!! HAHAHAHA. I saw the look of excitement in his eyes like no other meat taste better!! yummm yummm! HAHAHAAHAHA. He cut his big right toe, his penis and penis shaft at different stages- funny funny funny!! He did this where some promiscous women do all sort of things. I know they were all thrilled. ahahahahahhhhhaaaaaa. His penis shaft was sewn to his nostril and more!! The doctor did a good job!! My men took picture of him parading him around the market square and public schools where everyone sang him wanker praises!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! I will continue to torture him unless I receive my $150,000 reward for wasting my time!! Period!
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Fredd
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 15 Jan 2006
Posts: 60


PostPosted: Sun Dec 28, 2008 6:14 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Did the lad come up with those specifications?!

Wood track @ 195MPH!!
Wood over 900' high!
9 G's!! - almost twice what an un trained person can handle.
Over 6 Miles long!

Truly record breaking. Shocked

Need to find a lad to be the test pilot, no sane person would.

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SlapHappy
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Joined: 15 May 2006
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Location: Floating up and down with happiness.


PostPosted: Sun Dec 28, 2008 11:03 am Reply with quoteBack to top

@Worf - Emil is much more laid-back than that! Laughing Cool

@Fredd - Emil came up with those specs. Now, it's up to the lad to make it work! Wink Laughing

EDIT: For the T-Shirt, Ninastian, I want a design where Houdini the Hamster is peeking out of the top of a Tornado! Laughing

_________________
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Yastreb
Demented Opportunist


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 28, 2008 11:54 am Reply with quoteBack to top

In the meantime, Dickie got this from Mal:

Quote:
Please send me a timeframe for the revised documentation. I am aware that this is the festive season, but I'm sure you're getting well paid for your work. I spent two Christmases in Iraq (1990 and 2003) and I got no special bonuses for either.

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Ninastian
419Eater is my life


Joined: 19 Sep 2006
Posts: 416


PostPosted: Sun Dec 28, 2008 12:14 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Looks like we have well and truly screwed up this lad's mind. He replied overnight to my e-mail, point by point: (BTW *** is one of my other characters - an ex-employee of Sir Ch4rles - who chopped big dollaz from the lad)

Quote:
You should not despair! Everyhting I do, I do it for you!!
I am glad you know it. Oh yes I am completely despaired because I don't trust you. You don't do everything for me- that's a white lie!

You have the potential to make milloins of dollars from these mugus.
Sorry my potentials are dead because I have a sort of boss who don't appreciate my hard works, instead he calls me lazy boi all the time!

Many of my associates have earned that sort of money in the past.
Please get one of those associates to take my lead. I will give them access to ALL emails password. I have signed out!

What they all have in common is an ability to work hard and focus on the prize.
I don't have any common ability to work hard and focus on the prize without professional directions from an expertise as you. How do you expect me to survive in the heat of difficult challenges?

The things you say about me, you are really saying about yourself.
You are A BIG PROBLEM in my life NOW. I can't even focus on my usual trade to earn my usual income. It is better I let's go!

You are not cross with me - you are simply frustrated at your own inability to meet the high standards that you know you are capable of.
I am crossed with you as though I should kill you with my bare hand! I am VERY frustrated at you! I am not capable of any high standards if someone who calls himself a boss can't help me recognize that, especially on a request that requires HIS total support in a way to guide me through, but he chooses to isolate himself. Who do you think could be that person? It is no other person but Sir Ch4rles!

So here's what I will do - I will convince Emi1 that the most important thing in the short term is to work on some of the simpler tasks - like designing the rollercoaster t-shirt. That will give you more time to sort out the actual design of the ride. Believe me we both have exactly the same objectives here - to screw every penny we can out of those mugus!! I have no interest in humiliating you. Remember - I will share 50% of all the dollars we make together!
Sorry I will NOT redo any actual design work! I repeat NOT ever! Get someone, one of your associates who could do it right to do it. Even if I redo the design 10,000 times, you will still point out errors. I know you. Listen the only way I can agree do it even up to a million times is ONLY AND ONLY IF YOU ORDER *** TO PAY ME WHAT HE OWES ME. You will be a great boss if you do this, otherwise go away from me. I don't trust you!!! Not again!!!!! We don't have exactly the same objective- I know your plan. *** has taught you to use me to achieve your selfish goals! I was stupid trusting in the first place!!! I was a fool trusting you! You have a chance for me to trust you (just one) and that is ask *** to return what he owes me then I will reunite with you STRONGER and BETTER! You have humiliated me bitterly in a way words can't fully express. Do not swell my head by your deceptive plan to share the proceeds from the mugus 50-50 with me. You can be VERY DANGEROUS you think I don't know? How do you expect me to believe or trust you with that? Sorry I won't!!!!! *** did that and he succeeded several times. He stole what belong to me, what we were supposed to share 50-50. Ask *** to pay me what he owes me then I will believe you are plain even though not completely honest with me though. This won't take you anything to do this if indeed you want us get back to work.

So please accept this as a BIG GINGER and let's get back to work when you've calmed down a little.
This is no GINGER sorry. Infact, it is the most irritating talks I have read in this recent times. I will NEVER be calm if you can't give me any reason why I should trust you. If you will not honour my little request to prove your sincerity, I am sincerely sorry find someone else to deal with your mugus!


Well, we can't have him going back to his old job of scamming innocent people, so a bit of reconciliation is in order...

_________________
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Closed lad accounts Several
Oh [the captive] ate his own willy!!! HAHAHAHA. I saw the look of excitement in his eyes like no other meat taste better!! yummm yummm! HAHAHAAHAHA. He cut his big right toe, his penis and penis shaft at different stages- funny funny funny!! He did this where some promiscous women do all sort of things. I know they were all thrilled. ahahahahahhhhhaaaaaa. His penis shaft was sewn to his nostril and more!! The doctor did a good job!! My men took picture of him parading him around the market square and public schools where everyone sang him wanker praises!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! I will continue to torture him unless I receive my $150,000 reward for wasting my time!! Period!
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SlapHappy
Body Eater


Joined: 15 May 2006
Posts: 9614
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 28, 2008 3:04 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

You start groveling, Sir Charles!! Malcolm, BluthBanana and I want another safari out of this idiotboi! Laughing

_________________
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BluthBanana
biggest fool of the Millennia


Joined: 16 Sep 2008
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 28, 2008 4:44 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Poor Dick has his panties in a bunch Rolling Eyes

I suppose we'll all ginger him enough that he'll quit his sniveling and get back to work (and maybe a safari!) Very Happy

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undertowz
Stooge


Joined: 13 Nov 2008
Posts: 283
Location: location location


PostPosted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 3:58 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Just a thought ...shouldn't your lad be advised that permits are required
for construction? (especially those involving access by the public)
Investors and engineers won't even read drawings if permits aren't lined up
or at least considered possible. The swamp of work involved in travelling,
waiting on phones or in lines plus fees to acquire the simplest building
permits involved for such an undertaking would keep your lad busy for
a month. You couldn't expect the real thing from him but he'd likely spend
weeks trying to create them. Permits for foundation, electrical, metalurgy,
safety eesh plus 30 more that come to mind for a roller coaster.

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Simon Bar Sinister
419Eater is my life


Joined: 25 Aug 2006
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 10:42 am Reply with quoteBack to top

SlapHappy wrote:
I hope you and Norah find Houdini soon. He needs to be alive! He needs to get back home! He needs to be safe, healthy and sound! Remember we are preparing for him to have a special ride on your roller coaster after completion. Cheers!


I guess we were to late to save Harry.....

Image

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Ninastian
419Eater is my life


Joined: 19 Sep 2006
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 11:08 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Thanks for the suggestions undertow - those look like fun modalities. IN the meantime however, the lad continues to send ever more complex letters of resignation to Sir Ch4rles. Apart from the fact that he is scared of hard work, he is really pissed off at haing been chopped so many times by Sir C's other gmen. He reckons that the easiest way for him to get rich is for Sir C to force one of them (Mb0g0, played by me) to pay back the $250k he chopped from the lad. Of course that will never happen - but in the meantime we are going to have to be a little more supportive of the lad so that we can get him back to (non-)productive work.

So Sir Ch4rles wrote him the following:

Quote:
You will spend your whole life working like a dog, to earn the sort of money my business could provide you with in a month.

I know that you realise that.

You also know that I cannot tell Mb0g0 to pay you that money until I know I can trust you. Can a man who calls me a snake be trusted?

Think about the alternative you have to working with me. Fake Rolexes and cheap, pox-ridden prostitutes in a stinking Lagos slum.

The truth can be difficult. You need to look within yourself to discover if you are a man or a mouse.


But his morale is low:

Quote:
You are a snake! You can be very dangerous! You know it! Why pretend otherwise? Again, you are very intelligent, very flexible and highly convincible to this mugus- that is, you can give them whatever reasons to believe you should anything go wrong. That is what we call "do as I say" tactic! You are very good at that. In other words, you are good at repairing loop ends. This is exactly what I need you to do. Ask them NEVER to contact me again or I can give you password to all the e-mails so you can continue from where I STOPPED. Maybe you think I am kidding. Sorry Sir I ain't kidding! You have given me no reason to trust you. If you will not ask Mb0g0 to pay me what he owes me, then you can't be trusted. Period! I have ceased to do any work further with you. Sorry! If you do not trust me, at least you will not ask me to deal with your clients. At least you know I will NEVER do anything to destroy [your company] in the UK and worldwide (that is). You also know I will NEVER propose any business to these mugus without your knowledge. Finally, I MAKE SURE I forward every correspondence between these mugus and I to you. If I am not loyal, of course I won't do all that you know it. If you don't trust me, at least you will trust that I have been quite trustworthy working with you.


Q. What on earth might bring a demoralised lad like that back to the fold?

A. Dollaz! Evil or Very Mad

_________________
Safari Sea-Mugu, London-Is1e of Wight
Safari Safari dickboi, Lagos-Abidjan and Lagos-Accra
Closed lad accounts Several
Oh [the captive] ate his own willy!!! HAHAHAHA. I saw the look of excitement in his eyes like no other meat taste better!! yummm yummm! HAHAHAAHAHA. He cut his big right toe, his penis and penis shaft at different stages- funny funny funny!! He did this where some promiscous women do all sort of things. I know they were all thrilled. ahahahahahhhhhaaaaaa. His penis shaft was sewn to his nostril and more!! The doctor did a good job!! My men took picture of him parading him around the market square and public schools where everyone sang him wanker praises!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! I will continue to torture him unless I receive my $150,000 reward for wasting my time!! Period!
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