The great charity scam *dolla chops aplenty*

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Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2009 9:41 pm

It's beautiful! I love it. Poor H0ward, he thought the money was going to Africa. No worries, I suppose he'll just have to move some other funds around.

Master Baiter Joined: 15 Nov 2008 Posts: 210

I composed that message in my head dozens of times over the past few weeks. It is my 'Ode to Betty' and I wanted it to be perfect; she deserves to go out with her head held high.

Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2009 12:47 am

Our lads will flip out tomorrow. Oh, if only we had a hidden camera...

Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2009 12:34 pm

Got an email from RW. He is in favor of not calling the Police, too.

I think that when the funds are ready again, they need to fill out (and mail) Marvinators form here http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=156387&start=0, I think we will need 7 copies for the board members, and two for Dep Of Homeland Security and the IRS.

Of course, hopefully we can get them to go to safari, too.

Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2009 12:40 pm

More forms? Well, I'm sure our lad will be delighted. Laughing

Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2009 2:12 pm

CSU, I think maybe we need a new secretary now, and Betty can more or less disappear. Can you introduce your not so well organized secretary?

Master Baiter Joined: 15 Nov 2008 Posts: 210

Dr. Williams,

How about sending an e-mail to everybody letting them know that 'Sage Habermas' from the church in Hogsmeade will be taking over for Betty. You might also mention that Betty took the original paperwork, so things will need to be redone.

Sage's e-mail is her first and last name at yahoo.com. You can CC her into the message so she can introduce herself.

Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 1:52 am

Quote:

Hi,

Today we started an extensive audit. The amount missing is close to a
half a million dollars. I am very surprised by Betty and Landos
behavior.

The office is a mess. I have hired an independent auditor to come in
and help with figuring out what to do.

In the meantime, I hired S/e Hab//ermas as our new secretary. She will
be working with all of us.

If te money is returned, we will ship it immediately to our brethren
in Africa. However, I have a sinking feeling it will not be returned.
That means we will not have the funds to release for at least another
month, maybe longer. Some of the parisioners have already heard of the
problems, and have pledged to help us meet our commitments.

Rev Wil//mer and Obi Wan, I am so sorry for the delay. Sadly, Betty
removed the contents of your file, so you will need to resend the
documents. There is not such a hurry this time, but I need them by
March 20th. Please resend those.

Bishop La//van, I am so sorry for all of this. It will take weeks or
even months to replace the money that is missing, and I know how much
you wanted to send this to our African brethren.

Blessings to all,

Raph//ael

Master Baiter Joined: 15 Nov 2008 Posts: 210

Sage has the IRS paperwork and will forward it along in her introductory e-mail. (Actually she'll claim to have forwarded it but will screw up the attachment). Wink

Another interesting angle to consider here is to try to team our gmail dolla chopper with Betty. She got the same message. She could contact him and tell him she knows he is a scammer. She could use her inside information about the church to try to help him score some funds if he will send her a cut. She coul even write his modality for him. Cool

Just a thought.

Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 3:25 am

CSU! Nice! Have Betty contact the scammer (of scammers) and see where that goes....

Master Baiter Joined: 15 Nov 2008 Posts: 210

Betty put out a feeler e-mail to our potential dollar chopper. It was basically a 'do you know who I am' e-mail to see how or if he'll respond.

Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2009 6:09 pm

Well, no news from our lads, so I am chumming the water a bit. Howard, keep in mind that you are Mr Money Bags, so expect ass licking an groveling from Obi wan and Rev Dipshit.

Raphael wrote:

Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2009 6:16 pm

I'm sure they're freaking out right now. Too bad Betty couldn't taunt them by sending a package COD full of Monopoly money.

Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2009 9:23 pm

SSA wrote:

Too bad Betty couldn't taunt them by sending a package COD full of Monopoly money.

Why not?

Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2009 11:22 pm

Scummy piece of shit lying lad, son of a goat f*cker wrote:

Dear Sir ,

May God be with you , we are patient and very most ready to receive the donations within the specticulated time given . We are very thankfull to Mr Howard for his kindness and we pray that God will do everything and all would be the same as planed before .

We are waiting for your response

In God we trust

Rev wilmer Hayes

Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2009 11:29 pm

Paging Betty...

That would be Betty's parting gift to the lad. Let's see how we can work this in.

Master Baiter Joined: 15 Nov 2008 Posts: 210

I've been laid up sick with the flu today so Sage and Betty have taken the day off.

Betty can try to con our lad. She can try the "I know you are a scammer, let's team up" thing with him. A COD package will be hard for him to stomach. I am willing to work with any ideas though. Betty does know the weaknesses of the church and she can provide him with some tips to get more out of this deal.

Master Baiter Joined: 15 Nov 2008 Posts: 210

Quote:

Dear Reverend Hayes,

Thank you for your kind words. I recently met with the members of the funding board and I am quite confident that we can get this donation back on track quickly. I might be speaking out of turn here but I see no reason why we can't expidite a partial donation your way as a show of good faith. Just this morning I transferred a $50,000 gift from our sister church in Godric's Hollow into our donation account. I think I can get that money to you within the next few days.

Just to be sure, please fill out the attached IRS paperwork and get it back to me as soon as possible. I understand that you already did this paperwork, but Betty either destroyed it or took it with her when she left. Either way, we need you to redo it. I will evenutally need the originals, but will take a scanned copy for now.

Peace,

Sage

Remember:

1. Sage often makes promises that she is unable to fulfill.

2. She is scatter-brained and does things like forgets to attach documents to e-mails. Wink

Posted: Tue Mar 03, 2009 5:44 pm

Got that. This is beautiful. >ka-CHING<, another Fed Ex Super Dooper Fast Expensive Parcel Delivery, money spent! Thumbs up

Master Baiter Joined: 15 Nov 2008 Posts: 210

I didn't anticipate that our lad would have his old IRS forms saved. Not a problem, there are plenty more where those came from.

Can somebody forward Sage the 39-page form? I want to get it to him soon.

Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 12:47 am

http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=156387&highlight=

Here is the page with Marvinators latest torture device.

A Skinner is also sending me something which I can forward on to you, CSU.

Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 12:53 am

Gonna be off on a short vacation until Tuesday. I'll still be checking from time to time from my phone.

Master Baiter Joined: 15 Nov 2008 Posts: 210

I'll be away Thursday thru Monday as well. I'll have my laptop with me though so I should be able to check in periodically.

I'll torture them with the four new IRS forms I sent today for a bit before 'finding' the new paperwork to send them.

Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 1:21 am

Friday morning, if things go as planned, I'll be here:

http://www.ndbc.noaa.gov/station_page.php?station=41010

Hopefully catching some of these:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yellowfin_tuna

Then Saturday night I'll be seeing these guys play:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flogging_Molly

Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 2:12 am

Heck, take these and have fun. Wink

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