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I love it when I get a lad who tries to use really formal language, it gives me a chance to respond in kind
This is a mail I sent him last night
from xxxx xxx <[email protected]> hide details 9:50 pm (11 hours ago)
to [email protected]
date Oct 29, 2008 9:50 PM
subject Fwd: -2nd Doc.Clearance Report.
Dear Mr. Hugh3s,
Thank you for the message contained in y0ur latest Email sent to me in the day that occupied yesterday in the space time continuum. Als0 your kindness in wishing me a fruitful and enjoyable retirement, 1 have certainly enjoyed been separated fr0m the daily chores attached to the rat race it is no secret. Are you cl0se to retirement? I can highly recommend it.
In accordance to your sincere wish t0 be updated at every juncture as to the status attached to the progress 0f the security company I send to you in the form of a f0rwarded electronic mail their latest communique.
Mr. xxxx xxx
Surely he would catch on to the fact I'm extracting the urine here??
from "Mr. Smith Hugh3s" <[email protected]> hide details 10:22 pm (11 hours ago)
to [email protected]
date Oct 29, 2008 10:22 PM
subject Re:-Update/Doc.Copied Me.
Dear xxxx xxx
Your email has been received.
Delighted ab0ut your sincerity of purpose regarding our mutual transaction.
I have perused the d0cument-Clearance report and deeply satisfied with it.
Hopeful by next week we will be thr0ugh successfully.
Yes,working towards retirement to0 to end this monotonous work- legal documentations.
Praying fervently for God's c0nstant protection/peace globally.
Keep me p0sted as always.
Anyone else enjoy making up literary bo**ocks to impress their lads? I can see my lad then using the sentences I write to try and impress people, re-education is good, it could save a real victim. We should have a competition to see who can write in the most ridiculously overly formalised way without the lad catching on.
_________________ I can sense tunes of unnecessary logic in your mails, meaning that you can never work with us to actualize this project no matter how we try to convince you - Mr. Chidi 0kpala
You will have to munch the statistics of the transfer so I can give to them - Mr. James Hessom Hessom
If not that you only hide behind computer and be playing prawns with us - Benny Clifford
Lasted for 11 months. The style was fairly easy to put into practice (just don't use "I/me/my/etc" or "you/your/yours/etc" and use "one/one's" instead and so on) but difficult to remember to do at all times.
_________________ PARVA QVOQVE PARS ESSENTIAE LVTRAE SVPERARI NON POTEST
"I have to sale something now to be able to drink water." -- Alice Idris on safari in Cotonou
"why did you waste my time like this why." -- US Army Captain William D Swenson
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