Dan is not too happy

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419Eater is my life Joined: 22 Sep 2008 Posts: 381

Out of curiosity, are we painting ourselves into a corner here? I mean, that donkey can only be on that ship for so long. Eventually we're going to run out of reasons that Dan isn't actually being tortured yet.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

My favorite part of the chat. Redshoes, I could sense the frustration in your reply:

Quote:

F: maybe we can meet
dan: u can't
dan: dats wat you always say
dan: promises
dan: without fulfilment
F: i was being held prisoner you idiot
dan: ok i get u

Bob, I don't think that we'll ever run out of ideas with Dan. Jones has been threatening to kill him for about a year now. It was only when Stanley and the boys showed up and kidnapped him that Dan took him seriously.

There are always other lads that we can send after Dan.

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

He came back. F & Dan are accusing each other of working for Jones.

Posted: Tue Oct 14, 2008 8:30 pm

The V@n Bur3n B0ys received this reply from their latest message to Dan

Quote:

Hey hello,

Who are you,and what are you looking for?

i am confuse tell me what is that,because i am lost ok,i don't even have anytin including an account,so i guess you meet the wrong person ok,because this person is a very poor so i guess you are on the wrong track.

Regards,
G@dug@d0

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Dan to Cletus:

Quote:

Ok please just send the document God please Cletus,you have started the help,just finish it please,i am still in portharcourt,but i think running or moving out is not the best so please cletus just help me i beg you,because i believe in you,just please help me because i don't have a camera,please just help me,you know i have surfered enough,including my girlfriend f,in Gods name just help us please.

So much for not checking emails. And, for the record, Dan is not in Port Harcourt. His sorry ass is where it has always been.

Posted: Tue Oct 14, 2008 9:00 pm

He's suddenly being very responsive after a weekend of e-mails. And I'm sure I was probably the least vile of all the groups after him...

Quote:

I repeat again you are contacting the wrong person ok,i don't have anything ok,and listen i am already off from where you think i am,please note i don't have anything ok,look since you embarrassing me by putting lie on my head of what i don't know ok,if you where the people that first come i explained everything for you,i don't have anything ok,i believe you can read very well i don't know what you are talking about,did i make any business transaction with anybody?

Answer that question and stop embarrasing me.

Regards,
D@njug@du

Oh, I feel bad for embarrassing him... Twisted Evil

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

I'm sure that each of you involved in this will be getting an email telling you that Dan is in Port Hartcourt. Dan figures that will throw you off the trail, and you'll go there instead of his home. Dan is smart that way. Rolling Eyes

I think Dan is still at home. Does anyone have a lad in Benin City that would be nice enough to go by and take some pics? If so let me know, and I'll send you Dan's address.

419Eater is my life Joined: 22 Sep 2008 Posts: 381

The Mafish have received a reply as well!

Dan wrote:

Hey friend,your offer is very interesting,but i don't have the document,but i like your offer,but the document is not under my custody,but he says that before he will release it for me,i'll send him a naked picture,but i don't have a camera,i travelled am not in Benin anymore,but i

Should I call him on his "I have travelled" BS?

EDIT: His IP has not changed from it's previous: 78.138.22.196

Not quite a Newb Joined: 22 Sep 2008 Posts: 41

Si Yaojiu of the Triads has been getting more and more impatient at stupid Dan's refusal to respond to his demands. He's set to send out some assassins for Dan before too much longer.

419Eater is my life Joined: 22 Sep 2008 Posts: 381

I went ahead and called him on it:

3zekiel wrote:

It is good that you have responded to the Mafish.

Do not lie to us. You have not relocated your city. You are being watched even as we speak.

You need to relocate, though, because there are several organizations coming down on you. The Mafish are a God-fearing people, and so we offer you the opportunity for protection.

You will not get this protection by lying to us. We know you did not move. Reliable sources have told us you have the document. If you are not lying, then you know how to get the document, and you should get the document. Once you get it, we will offer you gold and safety.

If you fail us in this, you will be raped to death by a donkey.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 22 Sep 2008 Posts: 41

being raped isn't enough...

being raped by a donkey isn't enough

he's gotta be raped to death by a donkey

Laughing

419Eater is my life Joined: 22 Sep 2008 Posts: 381

See above re: what happened to Pancho

Also, if you already know what happened to Pancho....the link is no different. Don't click it. There, not my fault this time.

Posted: Tue Oct 14, 2008 10:49 pm

Until today, Saul Shalom's (of the Kosher Nostra) messages have been laced with Yiddish. Apparently Dan doesn't understand Yiddish, so he isn't sure what Saul is asking for. And he apparently hopes that if he ignores him he will go away. Not a chance. Today Saul broke out in English.

Saul Shalom wrote:

Daniel, I will say this as clear as I know.

Cough up the Kodecks and you'll live at least another day.

Deny you have it and you may not see tonight.

Do you get me?

I see you coming and going in your house. Nice family you got. Who's the lady?

Saul Shalom
Kosher Nostra

His emails will become more frequent. He's had Yom Kippur and Shabbat off, but now he's gonna pour on the pressure.

419Eater is my life Joined: 22 Sep 2008 Posts: 381

We should so start killing each others' agents in an attempt to crawl over each other to get to Dan. Send him the gruesome pictures.

"Dan; I see that you have employed members of the Kosher Nostra to attempt a defense against the Mafish. Know that these attacks on our organization will not go unpunished"

Something along those lines.

Posted: Tue Oct 14, 2008 11:56 pm

@Bob: If we take that approach I suppose someone would have to comment to him, "We thought you'd seek help, but we never expected the Spanish Inquisition!"

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

Dan is brook. Dan is not going on safari.

Quote:

dan: yes i am not in benin anymore
dan: i am out of benin
dan: so they can't get me anymore
dan: so tell me where are u now?
dan: who do u want to meet?
dan: y are u meeting the person?
F: meeting what person
F: i want to meet you, but you will not tell me where you are
dan: i am afraid
dan: bcos i don't know who they are using for me now
F: SO AM I DON'T you get it?
dan: i do get u
dan: so u tell me were are u
dan: i'll need to travel to see u?
F: HOW DO I KNOW?
F: You won't tell me where you are.
dan: tell me where are u now?
F: haha, how can i trust you, How do I know you are not working for Jones?
dan: hahaaaaaaa
dan: i laugh too
dan: we dnt trust ourself
dan: is dat love?
F: i don't know about you, but i trust myself
F: i am the only one i can trust
dan: me too
dan: pls lets be xplosive
F: xplosive?
dan: were is the money u promise me
dan: yes
F: what do you mean xplosive?
F: you never answered me, so how could i send you the money
dan: well i will only meet u
dan: were do u think we can meet?
F: i am alone, i keep telling you
F: tell me where you are
F: there is a city in Nigeria, called maidguri or something like that
F: there is a hospital there
dan: ok....
F: do you know it?
dan: wats the name of the hospital?
dan: yea is very far
F: look it up, it's the university hospital
dan: very far from me
F: well, where are you?
dan: do u ave a nigeria network line?
F: what does that mean?
dan: a phone number i can use in calling u?
F: are you trying to trace my location? so that you can tell Jones where i am?
dan: well 4get it if u are not serious ok
F: if i am not serious?
F: you come to maiduguri, and if you are alone i will meet you
dan: yes,bcos u don't trust me
F: you might be working with Jones, I can't go back to him
F: if you come to maiduguri, it is only a short distance from there to N'djmena, there my church is taking malaria nets to the people
F: if we can get there soon, my church will bring both of us back to the US.
dan: but dat will tak a very longtime
dan: and the most of all is dat i dnt ave money
F: this is the chance of your lifetime and you will not make a short journey to this city?
dan: honey im really devastated
F: Have you just given birth?
F: Don't talk to me about being devastated.
dan: ok hw can i do dat?
F: how can you do what?
dan: wats the name of the university?
F: University of Maiduguri http://www.unimaid.edu.ng/
dan: ok i hop this is for real?
F: look it up, don't take my word for it, i know you don't trust me
dan: u in the hosphital now or in the church?
F: what, so you can tell jones?
dan: look u are getting me pissed off
F: i am getting YOU pissed off?
dan: is lik i can't trust u anymore
F: are you lugging a baby around while you are hiding?????
dan: u are saying annoying words
dan: get serious for onces
F: i am deadly serious
dan: then be xplosiv to me
F: what does xplosiv mean?????
dan: open up to me dats wat i mean by dat
F: when are you going to open up to me???
dan: do u want to come and see me?
F: i cannot come to see you
dan: so why the complaining?
F: i am very close to freedom, i just need a little more help from you, to get to the private plane of my church
F: but you need to come to maiduguri
dan: i know if move out u will 4get abt me bcos u dnt care anymore
F: do you care about this child or not?
dan: i do
dan: but dnt know if u care abt me
F: i would care about you if i knew you were actually a man and not a sniveling little boy
dan: ok
dan: wen i get to maidugiri i'll get to the university rite?
F: when you get to maiduguri and I am sure that you are alone, I will tell you where we can meet
dan: how can u tell me wen i get there?
dan: look sure seriousness
dan: wat if i com and dnt see u
F: if you come with someone else, i will kill you myself
dan: wat will happen?
F: come back tomorrow the same time
F: i have to breast feed the baby now
dan: look do u think i have money
dan: no im very brook
dan: just talk to me now
F: that's not my problem

Not quite a Newb Joined: 22 Sep 2008 Posts: 41

Titania wrote:

Until today, Saul Shalom's (of the Kosher Nostra) messages have been laced with Yiddish. Apparently Dan doesn't understand Yiddish, so he isn't sure what Saul is asking for. And he apparently hopes that if he ignores him he will go away. Not a chance. Today Saul broke out in English.

Si Yaojiu has a bad habbit of ranting in Chinese at him as well. After his second message, which he sent in a rage so it was lots of chinese, he managed to calm down. Since then, he's been writing primarily in english. The only exception is that he signs off every letter by insulting Dan's mother in Chinese in some new way. So far, Dan's mom has been called a whore, a slut, a tramp, and a bitch. I realize Dan doesn't now, and probably never will understand what's being said at the end of those messages, but it allows me to further my own Chinese vocabulary. And I get a kick out of the thought of him actually looking up some of the Chinese at one point and getting very offended.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Man, Dan is pretty shook up. Usually he tries to romance F a bit, but I think we've taken all of his bravado out of him.

I love it when Dan says that he is brook. Dan is always brook.

Posted: Wed Oct 15, 2008 3:07 am

I don't have much else to add about Dan's brook ass, but I find this to be hilarious and enigmatic:

Quote:

dan: pls lets be xplosive

So many ways this could be taken. After much thought I assume he means "explicit" perhaps?

419Eater is my life Joined: 22 Sep 2008 Posts: 381

BluthBanana wrote:

"We thought you'd seek help, but we never expected the Spanish Inquisition!"

Now we have to do it. Laughing

Master Baiter Joined: 23 Dec 2007 Posts: 128

BluthBanana wrote:

@Bob: If we take that approach I suppose someone would have to comment to him, "We thought you'd seek help, but we never expected the Spanish Inquisition!"

Sister Elena of the Spanish Inquisition is already after Dan...

Please don't spoil my fun... after a couple of mail full of love and understanding offering protection, he will receive another one full with threats of physical pain and the danger of eternal damnation.

Posted: Wed Oct 15, 2008 11:03 am

be explosive = explain it to me ? What a strange expression. And, again, what an annoying little rat Dan is! (How fine he ignores me anyway...pffft!)

Posted: Wed Oct 15, 2008 11:24 am

Nice chat... good to see him brook, unfortunately not yet 'stredded' or 'dieting' in 'hash conditions'... that would really make my day !

I wonder how succesfull he really is as a scammer... maybe Shorty was right after all and is he only a 'small boi' ...
I like the concept of getting him in trouble with other scammers as he's too lazy to travel or move anyway...

Great work, keep annoying him! Very Happy

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Dan is not only brook, but brooken (okay, I know, that one was weak). From Dan:

Quote:

Ok thanks for all the hardship i guess they just come and kill me,i think that will be the best.

Posted: Wed Oct 15, 2008 12:23 pm

In line with Jayhawk's response from Dan

Quote:

Well i guess you people just come and kill me that will be better,because i don't know what you people are talking about.

@LastExile: No worries, I was referencing your fun!