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 My barrister died :(

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Worf
Elite Baiter


Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 1690
Location: Florida - it's hot down here


PostPosted: Sun Nov 09, 2008 10:30 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Yeah, I think I've exhausted the "running pictures" idea. Time to move on to the "wicker man" plot.


Quote:
Dear Mrs. Bello,

Well, I suppose those pictures will do. I'm disappointed that there is no banner in the running picture, but I'll try to convince Gov. Pillock that with the other pictures, it proves this was a charity run.

Also, those pictures are quite blurry, did you take them yourself? I think your camera might be on the fritz. I think Mr. Drax will be able to clean up the pixels though.

I will meet with Gov. Pillock Monday morning and get back to you. In the meantime, please work on the cleansing ceremony.

Sincerely,
Hank

P.S. I had no idea you had such lovely beaches in Ghana. I love the dunes in the latest photos. It seems a perfect place to set up some hammocks. Perhaps you can purchase some once you receive the money. There is nothing better than a hammock! I should know, I frequent the Cypress Creek hammock district quite often. I can pick some up for you if you like.


What cleansing ceremony? Did I forget to tell Mrs. Bello that all Globex beneficiaries are required to conform to the pagan religion? Well, I just assumed she knew . . . Wink

And there's always the descent into WU hell, with the delays and the incorrect MTCN's and the forms . . .

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"Either you are lying or you are not telling the truth here, buddy." - H4rrison Ford (the lad, not the actor of course)
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minester
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Joined: 02 Nov 2008
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 09, 2008 11:14 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Nice, I love it so far!!! Good luck! Kind of a noob to this but maybe something along the lines of:

Quote:
I will get arrested for fraud if you don't get me some pictures holding a banner, while doing something that can actually be a fundraiser

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Nurse Nasty
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Joined: 31 Aug 2005
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 10, 2008 1:41 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Worf wrote:
Time to move on to the "wicker man" plot.


My church has been trying to have this done for over a year now. Our last attempt at this, the man was only 1 foot high. The second attempt was 4 feet high. I really need to dedicate more time to baiting.

However Worf, we may need to discuss the logistics of my idea. I have all the designs and construction plans available for this. I shall send you my modalities. PM me to collect.

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parrot
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 10, 2008 2:54 am Reply with quoteBack to top

You could try a safari as you need a photo opp to hand over the money to her. She may have to meet you at an out of area airport to collect the funds and a quick picture taking on your stop over to well anywhere!

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Worf
Elite Baiter


Joined: 27 May 2007
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 11, 2008 6:28 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I think I'm going to try both the wicker man idea and WU complications. Hank can pressure Bello on the ceremony, while Globex's accountant can introduce Bello to the complicated process of receiving a WU payment from Globex Smile


Quote:
Dear Hank,

Thank you for assisting me. Please have you met with the Governor?
Have a great day and Godbless the entire GLOBEX team.

Regards,
Mrs. Bello



Quote:
Dear Mrs. Bello,

Good news. I did meet with the Governor late yesterday and everything is okay.

I have forwarded the money to Globex's accounting department, headed by Mr. E. S. Blofield. Please contact him at [email protected] with your payment information.

I trust that you have begun to gather the necessary wicker for the ceremony.

Sincerely,
Hank


eta: Ugh, it was supposed to be "Blofeld" not "Blofield." Evil or Very Mad

Oh well, Blofield is the supervillain's cousin who went into accountancy Wink

_________________
"Honey there no way to go out side camp without peppers and passport." - M1racle Y0rm1e
"Either you are lying or you are not telling the truth here, buddy." - H4rrison Ford (the lad, not the actor of course)
"you are an embodiment of permanent failure, an epitome of misfortune of life . . . a disgrace to your generation" - Lambert Lee
Safari = Rev. Michael Jeans - Dakar to Ziguinchor
Safari = Rev. Michael Jeans - Dakar to St. Louis, Senegal (co-bait with OxygenDeprived)
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SlapHappy
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Joined: 15 May 2006
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 11, 2008 10:04 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

NN said:
Quote:
I have all the designs and construction plans available for this
Shocked For a Wickerman? Why should I be shocked?? Laughing

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Nurse Nasty
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 11, 2008 10:25 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^ I had to draw them up myself. I also provide pictures of the completed project. I've been trying to get my lads to make a portable wicker man they take on pilgrimage to one of the pyramids of TWAT. There they shall burn the wicker man. Maybe I should de-mod myself and just bait. Very Happy

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SlapHappy
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 12, 2008 12:16 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^^That's the best bit of Modding advice I've ever seen! Very Happy Going back to baiting yourself...I wanna see you get a Wickerman Burning Ritual video!
Now, all you have to do is find a vict--, umm, I mean volunteer to take your place.

{SH hightails it on outta here fast....

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Worf
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Joined: 27 May 2007
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 12, 2008 5:06 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^ Agreed. A wicker man/TWAT bait sounds awesome Laughing

Especially since Mrs. Bello keeps ignoring me about the ceremony.


Quote:
Dear Hank,

I thank you once again. i will contact Mr. E. Blofield as soon as possible, reamain blessed.

Regards,
Mrs. Bello



Quote:
Dear Mrs. Bello,

No problem. As I've said before, we at Globex are always happy to help.

By the way, you did not answer my question about the wicker. Do you think you have gathered enough for the ceremony?

Sincerely,
Hank



Quote:
Dear Mr. Blofield,

My name is Mrs. Joy Bello the wife of late Barrister Mohammed bello.

Sir, Mr. Hank Scorpio directed me to contact you on behalf of the funds generated by GLOBEX from the 1st annual Barrister Mohammed Bello Globex memorial fun run.

Which i hereby thank you and the entire GLOBEX team for assisting me.

Regards,
Mrs. Joy Bello



Quote:
Dear Joy,

Please call me Ernst. I am happy to hear from you.

Of course Mr. Scorpio has told me all about you and your sad plight. Might I extend my sympathies as well?

I heard about the fun run. Unfortunately, I was not able to participate because of my bad eye.

Mr. Scorpio has handed over to me the sum of $21,492 in U.S. Dollars. I will need from you your preferred method of payment. Once I receive that, I will gather the necessary international monetary transfer forms.

Sincerely,
Ernst

_________________
"Honey there no way to go out side camp without peppers and passport." - M1racle Y0rm1e
"Either you are lying or you are not telling the truth here, buddy." - H4rrison Ford (the lad, not the actor of course)
"you are an embodiment of permanent failure, an epitome of misfortune of life . . . a disgrace to your generation" - Lambert Lee
Safari = Rev. Michael Jeans - Dakar to Ziguinchor
Safari = Rev. Michael Jeans - Dakar to St. Louis, Senegal (co-bait with OxygenDeprived)
Safari = Mattar - Abidjan, Ivory Coast to Accra, Ghana
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Jay leno
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Joined: 04 Nov 2008
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 12, 2008 10:38 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Somehow I feel western union will be the preferred method of payment

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Worf
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Joined: 27 May 2007
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 5:15 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Yep Smile


Quote:
Dear Ernst,

Thank you very much once again. i will be very glad if you can send the funds to me through western union money transfer. Please you can send it in tranches.

Regards,
Mrs. Joy Bello


What the heck does "in tranches" mean?

_________________
"Honey there no way to go out side camp without peppers and passport." - M1racle Y0rm1e
"Either you are lying or you are not telling the truth here, buddy." - H4rrison Ford (the lad, not the actor of course)
"you are an embodiment of permanent failure, an epitome of misfortune of life . . . a disgrace to your generation" - Lambert Lee
Safari = Rev. Michael Jeans - Dakar to Ziguinchor
Safari = Rev. Michael Jeans - Dakar to St. Louis, Senegal (co-bait with OxygenDeprived)
Safari = Mattar - Abidjan, Ivory Coast to Accra, Ghana
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Yastreb
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 8:54 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I think "tranche" is French for a slice or segment or similar. So Mrs Bello wants payment in installments.

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SlapHappy
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 11:59 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

No, no, yastreb. "Tranches" means "trunkboxes" of cash. I'd send it that way, Parcel D1r3ct. Smile

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Worf
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 15, 2008 8:52 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Yastreb knows her french Smile


Quote:
Dear Ernst,

Please Mr. Ernst I am sorry with the spellings and the english. I mean you can send it bit by bit eg $9,000 Dollars twice and $3,420 once through western union money transfer. Please i will be glad to receive it that way and i appreciate your effort.

Regards,
Mrs. Joy Bello



Quote:
Dear Joy,

I have been out sick for a few days with a horrible head cold. I was fine when I woke up Thursday morning, but by lunchtime I had a very sore throat and the cold progressed from there.

Thank you for your explanation. I will gather the necessary forms and get back to you next week, right after I take my cat to the vet.

Thank you,
Ernst


The first part about the cold is true. I am functioning through a Nyquil haze right now Crying or Very sad

Meanwhile, Mrs. Bello has no idea what a wickerman is:


Quote:
Dear Hank,

Great, but i dont understand what you mean by the wicker man please can you explain to me better. hope to hear from you soon.

Regards,
Mrs. bello



Quote:
Dear Mrs. Bello,

Here at Globex, we traditionally build a small wicker man and set him on fire for good luck. We call it a cleansing ceremony.

I can send you instructions on how to build one if you would like.

Sincerely,
Hank



Quote:
Dear Hank,

I am interested.

Mrs. Bello


Oh goodie Laughing

_________________
"Honey there no way to go out side camp without peppers and passport." - M1racle Y0rm1e
"Either you are lying or you are not telling the truth here, buddy." - H4rrison Ford (the lad, not the actor of course)
"you are an embodiment of permanent failure, an epitome of misfortune of life . . . a disgrace to your generation" - Lambert Lee
Safari = Rev. Michael Jeans - Dakar to Ziguinchor
Safari = Rev. Michael Jeans - Dakar to St. Louis, Senegal (co-bait with OxygenDeprived)
Safari = Mattar - Abidjan, Ivory Coast to Accra, Ghana
Safari = Stanley, co-bait with VDJ, Gadget and Jayhawk - Aba to Benin City
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Yastreb
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 15, 2008 10:28 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
Yastreb knows her french


I'm XY, not XX. But yes, I do know French*.

*The language - there are double meanings lurking everywhere if you're not careful!

_________________
I will heed the advice of a polite horse for it is written that more flies are caught with honey than vinegar... although assault carbines and monstrous wolves are still fun.

"I aim to misbehave."

Asena - Pretty Rose
United Kingdom x5 Spain New Zealand Senegal Ghana x2 Benin Closed lad accounts x 175
Safari x 4 - Oyenka Chidinma - Lagos to Cotonou; Dickyboi - Lagos to Accra; Femmy - Lagos to Porto Novo; "Woody" - Accra to Singapore
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SlapHappy
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 16, 2008 12:18 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
Dear Hank,

I am interested.

Mrs. B3ll0
Very Happy
I bet her interest will wane considerably after she sees the detailed plans and ritual. Gotta be a video ritual though. That's a lot of cash to give away without one. Smile

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Worf
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 17, 2008 5:20 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
Dear Ernst,

Thank you Ernst, please respond to treatment and take good care of yourself.

I will be expecting to hear from you have a nice day and God bless.

Regards,
Mrs. Joy Bello



Quote:
Dear Joy,

Thank you for your kind words. I am still ill today, but I should be back at work tomorrow. I have a very good doctor, Dr. No Singh. I really like Dr. No.

Sincerely,
Ernst


NN is going to send me the wicker man specs Wink

_________________
"Honey there no way to go out side camp without peppers and passport." - M1racle Y0rm1e
"Either you are lying or you are not telling the truth here, buddy." - H4rrison Ford (the lad, not the actor of course)
"you are an embodiment of permanent failure, an epitome of misfortune of life . . . a disgrace to your generation" - Lambert Lee
Safari = Rev. Michael Jeans - Dakar to Ziguinchor
Safari = Rev. Michael Jeans - Dakar to St. Louis, Senegal (co-bait with OxygenDeprived)
Safari = Mattar - Abidjan, Ivory Coast to Accra, Ghana
Safari = Stanley, co-bait with VDJ, Gadget and Jayhawk - Aba to Benin City
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LadyKyte
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Joined: 09 Jun 2008
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 17, 2008 6:31 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Gods, this is the best. Worf, you are a genius! I've been sitting here giggling like an idiot over this entire thread. Bravo to you, NN, and anyone else who has had a hand in this. Very Happy

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dr stephen williams
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 17, 2008 7:13 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Worf Thumbs upThumbs upThumbs upThumbs upThumbs up Five thumbs! Fun race, hahaha!

NN, nice, too.

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Nurse Nasty
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 17, 2008 11:52 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Worf is doing the baiting. I'm just here for eye candy.

Just copy and paste the wicker man pictures Worf and send the better ones. I have uploaded the basic plans here:
Basic Plans on frame

I am still trying to find the instructions Worf. Don't hold your breath. Just make it up as you go along.

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Worf
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 18, 2008 4:19 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^ Thanks Smile

I just sent her an e-mail telling her to go gather a bunch of twigs (step 1 Laughing )

_________________
"Honey there no way to go out side camp without peppers and passport." - M1racle Y0rm1e
"Either you are lying or you are not telling the truth here, buddy." - H4rrison Ford (the lad, not the actor of course)
"you are an embodiment of permanent failure, an epitome of misfortune of life . . . a disgrace to your generation" - Lambert Lee
Safari = Rev. Michael Jeans - Dakar to Ziguinchor
Safari = Rev. Michael Jeans - Dakar to St. Louis, Senegal (co-bait with OxygenDeprived)
Safari = Mattar - Abidjan, Ivory Coast to Accra, Ghana
Safari = Stanley, co-bait with VDJ, Gadget and Jayhawk - Aba to Benin City
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Worf
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 20, 2008 5:39 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
Dear Mrs. Bello,

How are you? How is the twig gathering going. Let me know when you have a bunch and then I'll send you the schematics.

How are things progressing with Mr. Blofield?

Ciao,
Hank



Quote:
Dear Hank,

A Twig can be defined as any small, leafless branch of a woody plant.

I am very sorry for not written you all this while. As for the twig i have not organized any but i promise you i will do that soon.

I am still waiting to hear from Mr. Blofield and I wish the payment will be made today.

My Regards,
Joy


Phew! I'm glad we now have the definition of a twig Rolling Eyes

I love when lads through in random sentences like that Laughing


Quote:
Dear Mrs. Bello,

Yes! Correct! That is indeed the definition of a twig. Now what you need to do is gather a lot of them. If you think you have too many, you don't. You will need a lot of twigs.

I just ran into Ernst in the employee break room and he said he e-mailed you yesterday that he was preparing your forms. Did he not contact you yesterday? If not, I will give him a piece of my mind!

Later,
Hank

_________________
"Honey there no way to go out side camp without peppers and passport." - M1racle Y0rm1e
"Either you are lying or you are not telling the truth here, buddy." - H4rrison Ford (the lad, not the actor of course)
"you are an embodiment of permanent failure, an epitome of misfortune of life . . . a disgrace to your generation" - Lambert Lee
Safari = Rev. Michael Jeans - Dakar to Ziguinchor
Safari = Rev. Michael Jeans - Dakar to St. Louis, Senegal (co-bait with OxygenDeprived)
Safari = Mattar - Abidjan, Ivory Coast to Accra, Ghana
Safari = Stanley, co-bait with VDJ, Gadget and Jayhawk - Aba to Benin City
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Scuttlebutt
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 16 Nov 2008
Posts: 45
Location: Sexytown, Texas


PostPosted: Fri Nov 21, 2008 3:17 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Nurse Nasty wrote:
Worf is doing the baiting. I'm just here for eye candy.

Here is the site I never use to get my wicker men made. If you go to the donations page you will find the best ones.
www.church-of-saint-dilldoe.int.tc

Just copy and paste the wicker man pictures Worf and send the better ones. I have uploaded the basic plans here:
Basic Plans on frame

I am still trying to find the instructions Worf. Don't hold your breath. Just make it up as you go along.



Google "Burning Man Festival".... I am still trying to get my lads to dress up like the fruits there..No luck Sad

The reason I mention this is it is a really big faux wicker man and has an easy design to build....
4 meters....try 10 meters! Twisted Evil

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SlapHappy
Body Eater


Joined: 15 May 2006
Posts: 9612
Location: Floating up and down with happiness.


PostPosted: Fri Nov 21, 2008 2:51 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

The definition of a twig....man 'o man is Joy a lazy, stalling lad. Wait till they see those schematics, and start counting how many twigs they are going to need... Smile

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Worf
Elite Baiter


Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 1690
Location: Florida - it's hot down here


PostPosted: Fri Nov 21, 2008 4:17 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
Dear Ernst,

How do you do? Please i am still waiting to hear from you. Please Ernst i am pressed can you tell me when the funds will get to me?

I will be a happy person to receive this funds please Ernst.

Regards,
Joy


Speaking of stalling . . .


Quote:
Dear Joy,

Hello, I am fine.

Regarding the funds, I am still working on the paperwork. Unfortunately, due to the holidays this time of year, a lot of Globex's employees are on vacation and that is causing the process to move more slowly that I would like. Also, our offices are closed next week due to Thanksgiving (Mr. Scorpio gives all of his employees the entire week off instead of just Thursday and Friday. He sure is a generous boss).

I will try to move as quickly as possible to get the needed forms today. However, since Ms. Klebb is on vacation, they might not be ready until when we re-open, December 1st.

Please be patient with me, I am working very hard on this.

Sincerely,
Ernst




It really is the most wonderful time of the year Smile
Also, Joy knows how to google "wicker man" but apparently not "Hank Scorpio" or any names of James Bond villains:
Quote:
Dear Hank,

How do you do? Mr. Hank Please from my own understanding the word WICKER MAN i will have to gather enough twigs to form an image or a statue of a person.

I am interested in the ceremony but please you will have to give me time to gather enough twigs and secondly please you know i will like you to also contact Mr. Blofield to send the funds to me.

Regards,
Mrs. Joy Bello

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