My barrister died :(

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Trophy Videos · Posted: Fri Nov 21, 2008 5:06 pm

Well, Worf, you are making some progress here. Very Happy

They do know what a Wicker Man is now, and they have some idea of the work involved. Now all they need to do is film themselves gathering the materials, building the Wicker Man, and the entire Wicker Man Cleansing Ritual, and burning.
From the looks of the lads in the fun run pic, they have plenty of help, so it should not be a problem for her. They better hurry, too, as the burning videos must arrive at Globex before the Christmas vacation period starts... Wink

Posted: Sat Nov 22, 2008 2:21 am

She's now accusing me of hanky panky Rolling Eyes

Quote:

Dear Ernst,

I am sorry i cant understand what you are saying but i wish you well but as for me i dont know what to say bye till when we hear from each other again. At least i know that i have excersise a lot of patient. Ernst sending money through western union from my own understanding does not take process like this but i dont know what is really going on over there is like there is some hanky panky somewhere.

Send my regards to Hank till we meet again.

Joy

Quote:

Joy,

I can assure there is no hanky panky. As an accountant, I must work by the rules of our company or risk termination. I have to fill out certain paperwork and get it approved before I send the money order. It is unfortunate that your payment is during the holiday time, but that is the situation. I can not just walk out of the office with over $20,000 without the proper paperwork.

I am quite insulted by your tone frankly, but nonetheless, I hope you have a good Thanksgiving.

Sincerely,
Ernst

And now, to compose a cheery out of the office automatic e-mail response for the Thanksgiving break.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Sat Nov 22, 2008 5:09 pm

Make sure to tell them to enjoy their Holiday Honey-Glazed Ham, and Candied Yams! Laughing

Posted: Sun Nov 30, 2008 11:01 pm

Quote:

Dear Mrs. Bello,

I just came into the office to do a quick check of my e-mail before heading out to the turkey farm and I see this e-mail from you!

What is the meaning of this? Are you telling me that Ernst has still not sent you the payment? I'm so mad! There is not even anyone in the office to yell at because they are all on vacation!

I have to go now and I won't be back until Monday, but I hope you can get this straightened out before then. I am very upset! This is not the mood I wanted to be in for Thanksgiving!

-Hank

Well, the time off seems to have had a positive impact on Mrs. Bello's mood:

Quote:

Dear Hank,

How do you do? How was your thanksgiving? hope all is well if so splendid. Thank you for the last mail you sent to me.

Expecting to hear from you soon.

Regards,
Joy

Joy, if you ask Hank how his Thanksgiving was, that's just an open invitation for me to go off on a tangent, isn't it?

Quote:

Dear Mrs. Bello,

My Thanksgiving was wonderful, thank you for asking.

First, me and all the little Scorpios (I have three) went and picked out a turkey. Then Hank Jr. took it behind the woodshed and plucked it. Mrs. Scorpio baked three pies - pecan, peach and pumpkin. We also had rolls, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, stuffing, that gelatinous stuff - what's it called, oh yeah cranberry sauce (which looks like neither cranberries nor sauce, but Hank Jr. loves the stuff). We also had some vegetables, but I don't remember what they were because they weren't important.

The next day, we all went out to Walmart to get some great deals, and barring a few unfortunate incidents, got some great gifts for the workers at Globex. I don't want to brag, but some people may need a bigger stocking this year.

Oh, and the Globex Christmas tree is up in the lobby. The big tall guy who works in Mr. Stromberg's department got it on sale.

Sincerely,
Hank

P.S. Has Ernst taken care of that thing for you yet?

Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2008 11:57 am

Hank Jr is picking up some very strange habits Laughing

Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2008 5:33 pm

Quote:

Dear Hank,

I wish you and your entire family a happy Christmas in advance. Send my regards to Hank Jr. and Mrs.Scorpio.

Yours sincerely,
Joy

Well, the lad is certainly being very nice at the moment. He even sent a happy Thanksgiving e-mail to Ernst. Maybe he got into the Christmas spirit Laughing

Trophy Videos · Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2008 5:41 pm

Next thing they will say is, "We can't find enough sticks to gather for the wickerman..." Laughing

Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2008 12:10 am

Oh yes, the twigs - I better remind her about that.

And since the lad is so full of holiday spirit, why not remind him in a creepy holiday e-card?

http://www.bluemountain.com/view.pd?i=200232352&m=7323&vc=1&source=bma&sync=1

Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2008 2:12 am

^^^ OMG, that IS creepy (and yet I can't turn away)

Trophy Videos · Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2008 2:54 am

Worf, LMAO! Laughing

They will have no idea what to make of that! Laughing

Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2008 4:20 pm

Quote:

Dear Hank,

I thank you very much for the e-card you sent to me.

May your days be fullfilled.

Regards,
Joy

Awww, how sweet.

Posted: Thu Dec 04, 2008 9:51 pm

In this post we learn why Ernst doesn't celebrate Thanksgiving and expose Mrs. Joy Bello to Nurse Nasty's WU Anti-scam forms Smile

Quote:

Dear Ernst,

How do you do? How was your thanksgiving? hope all is well if so splendid.
Hope to hear from you soon.

Regards,
Joy

Quote:

Dear Joy,

I am originally from Germany and grew up in Poland, so I do not celebrate Thanksgiving personally.

Your paperwork is almost complete. Everyone is back at work at Globex now.

Sincerely,
Ernst

Quote:

Dear Ernst,

Thank you for your mail i will be expecting you. I thought you are from USA, but where do you reside in USA i mean your State? and how was live when you where growing up in Poland?

Hope to hear from you soon.

Regards,
Joy

A quick trip to wikipedia to look up "Ernst Stavro Blofeld" provides the following details:

Quote:

Dear Joy,

In answer to your question, I reside in New York but, since Globex is a multinational corporation, I travel between our various offices in New York, Geneva, Las Vegas, Tokyo and Berlin.

Growing up in Poland, I attended the University of Warsaw where I studied economics and political history. I also spent some time at the Warsaw University of Technology studying engineering and radionics. After that, I took a position at the Polish Ministry of Posts and Telegraphs, using my position to buy and sell stocks. Then I was recruited by Mr. Scorpio to head the accounting department at Globex, where I still am.

Sincerely,
Ernst

Quote:

Dear Ernst,

Thank you for the mail. Please i will want to know if the form is completed and when are you sending the funds to me?

Regards,
Joy

Aw, c'mon. Don't you want to hear more about Ernst's exciting life of working for SPECTRE . . . um I mean Globex?

Oh well, since the lad asked about the form, it's time to send him some forms Smile

Quote:

Dear Joy,

I think you misunderstood me. The form is ready, but you will need to complete it before I can get Western Union to give me the proper MTCN numbers to give to you.

Because of the size of the payment (even when broken down in installments), you must first complete, scan and send back to me the following Western Union Security Validation forms. Because we are a corporation, we must have the forms completed by you as proof that the money is not going to "advance fee" or "419" scams.

Individuals sending money do not have to do this, but, as I said earlier, we are a corporation and any money sent by a corporation via Western Union in excess of $1,000 must have proof that the receiver is cleared by security.

I have attached the pages our legal department told me to send you. That was the delay before, our legal department had to verify which forms were required.

Thank you for your patience and once I show legal these completed forms, the MTCN numbers should be on their way to you in no time.

Sincerely,
Ernst

The forms sent were NN's wonderful WU security forms that can be found here:
http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=103464

I hope the lad fills them out. After everything he/she has been through so far, what are a few forms?

Meanwhile, Hank is happy she appreciates his e-card.

Quote:

Dear Mrs. Bello,

I'm glad you liked it. I picked it because the cat looks like my own cat, although mine is a white persian, so it has longer hair.

I was wondering, how many twigs have you gathered? You've had a few weeks, you should have plenty to start working on the wicker man by now.

Ciao,
Hank

Quote:

Subject: I WILL GET IT DONE

Dear Hank,

Thank you for the mail, Hank please i am still expecting the funds.

I promise you that as for the twig and the wicker man i will get it done. Please can you please explain better the aim and meaning and goals of the wicker man?

Please contact Mr. Blofield.

Regards,
Joy

Well Joy, normally a wicker man is used to burn Edward Woodward and/or Nicolas Cage alive in, but since I doubt you have either one of them available at the moment, I'll just have to make something up . . . eventually.

What are the aim, meaning and goals of the wicker man again? NN?

Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 9:59 pm

The forms are in! Very Happy

Well, most of them. He forgot two pages, which I have reminded him of.

Quote:

Dear Ernst,

This are the completed forms. I appreciate your effort, have a nice day and God bless.

Regards,
Joy

http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a49/kel4876/WNFORM1.jpg

http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a49/kel4876/WNFORM2.jpg

http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a49/kel4876/WNFORM3.jpg

http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a49/kel4876/WNFORM4.jpg

Quote:

Dear Joy,

Thank you for the prompt return of the forms, however I believe that you are missing two pages. Please complete the last two forms that I have included in this email.

Sincerely,
Ernst

Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 10:20 pm

Worf wrote:

What are the aim, meaning and goals of the wicker man again? NN?

Oh anything will do.

Here is what Wiki says. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wicker_Man

I do love the responses to those forms. The multiple choice always cracks me up. I did notice that she knows how much a trunkbox full of cash weighs.

Methinks she knows far too much about cyber crimes. Laughing

Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 10:23 pm

The answer about "nuzzling a corpse" is seriously creepy Shocked

Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 10:35 pm

I loved how he said that he would start a fire under a bed to wake someone from their drunken slumber.

Laughing

Trophy Videos · Posted: Sun Dec 07, 2008 12:13 am

Great forms, Worf! Laughing

LMAO.

Now it's time for the lad to think about the wickerman goals... Laughing

Posted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 11:33 pm

Quote:

Dear Ernst,

This are the remainig pages. Once again i thank you for assisting me.

Regards,
Joy

http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a49/kel4876/wu2.jpg

http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a49/kel4876/wu.jpg

Sorry no updates on the wicker man project yet, I've been in jury duty Crying or Very sad

Trophy Videos · Posted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 12:25 am

Worf wrote:

I've been in jury duty Crying or Very sad

You mean you didn't whisper to the defense attorney during selection that your part-time job is "internet vigilante, who tries to make 419 scammers build 15 foot tall wickermen to burn and cleanse their orphanges in order to receive huge cash dispersements from non-existant corporations?" Laughing

I'll bet you would have been disqualified for that one! Wink

Posted: Thu Dec 11, 2008 10:33 pm

Well, it was a bank robbery case, so I guess that could have come in handy. Laughing

Quote:

Dear Mrs. Bello,

Sorry I haven't gotten back to you sooner, but I have jury duty. It's a bank robbery case. I think it's obvious that he's guilty and in my opinion I'd cart him right off to jail, but we still have to deliberate. Our system of government I guess. Whatever.

Sincerely,
Hank

Quote:

Dear Hank,

How are you? i can understand how bussy you are, i sent you a mail yesterday a question concerning the wikerman but you have not responded to my mail hope no stress?

Regards,
Joy

No stress, for Hank anyway. Poor Ernst is scrambling for coverage though:

Quote:

Dear Ernst,

How are you? Please it as been a while i heard from you, i sent you a mail yesterday but you did'nt respond to my mail hope all is well?

Regards,
Joy

Quote:

Dear Joy,

Things are very busy here at the moment with Mr. Scorpio away at jury duty. This came up quite suddenly and we are all scrambling to fill in for his unexpected absence.

I did get the last two forms and have sent the entire document to the head of our legal department, Mr. Kananga.

Sincerely,
Ernst

I promise the next e-mail will get down to wickerman business Twisted Evil

Posted: Thu Dec 11, 2008 10:39 pm

What size you going for? I think my plans and the fake church I use want to have it at least 5 metres.

That's 16 ' and 4.85 " to you ye olde backwards countries. Very Happy

Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 8:11 pm

Hank is aiming big! Smile

Quote:

Dear Hank,

How are you? i can understand how bussy you are, i sent you a mail yesterday a question concerning the wikerman but you have not responded to my mail hope no stress?

Regards,
Joy

Quote:

Dear Mrs. Bello,

I am finally done with jury duty. We found the guy guilty by the way, he was a bank robber.

As for the wickerman - the purpose, here at Globex anyway, is for a celebration/blessing. We usually build one about 16 feet high (that's at least 5 meters). Then we add lighter fluid, light a match and woo hoo! You have a great wickerman for the blessing. That's why I kept asking if you were gathering twigs, because you will need quite a few if you want a quality wickerman. There's nothing worse than a half-assed attempt at a wickerman.

Oh, and it's a good idea to get some straw to help the fire. Fire has to have fuel you know. Do not add plastic. We did that about 4 years ago and the fumes were just awful. Mr. Drax had to go to the hospital because he inhaled a bunch of them. So in summary, straw yes - plastic no.

I've attached a picture. Now that you have the twigs, you should be able to get started.

Happy building!

- Hank

P.S. A few large branches are good for support and make good arms.

I sent them diagram of a wickerman NN posted a few pages back.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 9:07 pm

Now we're back on track! Laughing

Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 9:36 pm

Actually I just remembered why I gave up on the Wicker man Worf. It was the fire thing. I didn't like the idea of anyone starting a fire that big anywhere near houses and people. Last thing we want is some sort of disaster that could hurt innocent people.

I remembered I altered the concept to making it like a Trojan horse. It was going to be a moveable monument.

Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 11:05 pm

Good point. I'm sure she'll balk at doing it, so in the next e-mail I'll tell her I'll compromise by skipping the fire part.