US Bank Bailout = 419?...Funny Email

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Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Feb 2005 Posts: 2301

I got this email today from a co-worker. He ran across it on woot.com. I don't want this to get into a political debate, but this is a funny email.

Quote:

Good day American taxpayer, complments of the season to YOu. Please allow me to introduce myself I am Mr. Henry PAULSON very high official of United States Treasury of United States, Washington, USA. I please to be writing you this day because someone of our mutual acquaintance Mr. BERNANKE vouch for you as trustworthy and gullible individual of high moral standards.

Through no fault of my own I am come to hard straits and although I am a proud man and father, I must beseech your partnership in resolution, an urgent and vexing matter. Through malfeasance and rascality, certain individuals of my close acquaintance have sabotage national banking system, hence an imminent disaster will befall if I am unable to secure the amount of $700,000,000,000 DOLLARS U.S with all utmost haste. This amount is currently being held by millions of fellow Americans but thus far these scoundrels refuse to release the money to me on grounds of that it is not mine infact.

Therefore I must, find a partner who can assist in the collection of this funds with, advance fee of $179.99 DOLLARS U.S a nominal amount I am sure you will agree. In return for you cooperation I am authorized to release as a token of my good faith to you one iRobot Scooba Floor Washing Robot, can thoroughly clean a floor with FOUR (4) cleaning stages, prep,wash,scrub,dry, and include one bottle of 8 OZ. (8 ounce) Scooba Juice cleaning fluid. This robots can follow walls and crisscroos rooms without need of human agency. Not to be use on carpet, laminate, stone of course I am sure you understand. for such price you would not expect to buy such Scooba but I, can assure you.

After funds of $700,000,000,000 DOLLARS U.S I will forward informations regarding fully protection of all funds, liabilities, equities and other such financial aspects. For now I must ask you to simply place your trust in me as you would a brother, for, are we, all not brothers?

I pray, that this message find it in your heart, to enter in partnership with me in interest of forestalling disastrous circumstance. Should you prefer not to assist me, with funds, I shall direct my I.R.S agents to procure the funds anyway from you, this voluntarily way is more amenable and you will atleast get a SCOOBA mop robot out of the deal, as fate wills it.

Your friend everlasting,

Mr. Herny PAULSON
United STATES Treasure

Posted: Fri Sep 26, 2008 2:06 pm

I was about to say we've already had one of these, then I realised it has already been 'dissapeared' into the black plastic sack behind the mod lounge for political whatnot.

I like the twist with the cleaning robot though. Smile

Posted: Fri Sep 26, 2008 11:26 pm

That is a lot of zero's.

Posted: Sat Sep 27, 2008 6:29 am

Quote:

vouch for you as trustworthy and gullible individual of high moral standards.

I'm guessing this was a fictional scam letter?

Oh well. Hillarious letter. Scooba iRobots to pay for a $700 bn bailout. Laughing

Posted: Sat Sep 27, 2008 8:47 am

There's another version at http://www.scamorama.com/wallstreet_bailout.html

Posted: Sat Sep 27, 2008 10:16 am

Funny letter though.

I got one from a friend about how the $85Bn to AIG could have given every man and woman over 18 in the US $425,000.00 if given out to the people rather than AIG. Too bad the math was wrong and it worked out to $425.00 per person based on the population numbers given in the e-mail.

Baiting Guru Joined: 17 Sep 2006 Posts: 5905

My favourite 419 spoof, although admittedly dated now as Gordon Brown has since been elevated to the highest office of them all. However just replace 'Chancellor of the Exchequer' with 'Prime Minister' and a lot of it is still relevant and very funny IMO.

http://www.nigerian419fraud.freeserve.co.uk/419seminar.htm

Quote:

Dear

Do not be surprised or alarmed at this method of communication – I found your name through my database of idiots taxpayers.

My name is Gordon Brown and I am the Chancellor of the Exchequer in the UK. During the last few years my colleagues and I have stolen Billions of pounds from the British public and we are now looking for a trustworthy partner to assist us in transferring this money to a safe haven before the Conservative Party regains power at the next election.

We carried out this practice mainly under the guise of so called “Stealth Taxes” so that the British taxpayer couldn’t turn around and accuse us of raising the income tax rate. But as an astute businessman yourself you will realise that there are more ways of killing a cat than just kicking it in the crotch.

We have systematically raised taxes and duties on petrol, alcohol, cigarettes, pension funds, council taxes and a myriad of other items that the average British citizen is too dumb to recognise. A large part of the money raised was, of course, wasted in trying to live up to our election manifesto promises. As Tony said “education, education, education” What he meant was those of us who can afford it will always prefer to send our sons and daughters to some smart fee-paying school rather than the run down alternatives available under the “free” education system. Likewise we always prefer to have private medical treatment rather than rely on the National Health Service (Have you seen how disgusting some of those hospitals are? People can get ill staying in one of those.)

Perhaps our biggest coup was in convincing everyone that war with Iraq was necessary for world peace – that alone used up billions of pounds of taxpayer’s money.

We need to be sure of your reliability in carrying out this project with us and what we ask is that you maintain complete confidentiality. For this we are prepared to grant you 10% of the transferred fund whilst my partners and I will keep 85%; the remaining 5% will be used to cover all foreseeable expenses such as spin-doctors etc.

Please note that this is a 100% risk-free transaction and that all modalities are in place to ensure that the transfer is completed within 7 days.

If you feel that you cannot assist us in this project please let me know by return, as we will then ask George Bush if he can help us.

Yours in the Tuscany vineyards

Gordon Brown