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 Red hot poker up the a*** anyone?

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Ninastian
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Joined: 19 Sep 2006
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 10:56 am Reply with quoteBack to top

My lad is upping the stakes in his kidnap modality by claiming that he is now being tortured by his captors:



Apart from the hysterical descriptions, I love the deliberate typos - and the fact that he can still keep his mind on the admin side of things, despite having only one eye and presumably clouds of smoke billowing out from his back passage!

N

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Oh [the captive] ate his own willy!!! HAHAHAHA. I saw the look of excitement in his eyes like no other meat taste better!! yummm yummm! HAHAHAAHAHA. He cut his big right toe, his penis and penis shaft at different stages- funny funny funny!! He did this where some promiscous women do all sort of things. I know they were all thrilled. ahahahahahhhhhaaaaaa. His penis shaft was sewn to his nostril and more!! The doctor did a good job!! My men took picture of him parading him around the market square and public schools where everyone sang him wanker praises!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! I will continue to torture him unless I receive my $150,000 reward for wasting my time!! Period!
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Simba
master of subtlety


Joined: 19 Nov 2006
Posts: 4092
Location: Bila Shaka


PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 11:05 am Reply with quoteBack to top

How considerate of his captors to provide internet access so that he can have a little chat with his relatives whilst being tortured.
Absolutely hysterical..... Laughing Laughing Laughing

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notobescammed
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 11:51 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Ninastian wrote:
horor!!!!!!!!! horror!!!! first he started with caressing my anus with hot rod inserted!


Wonderful siggy material!

Good Stuff! Very Happy

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Tommo Shanter
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 1:09 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
...my left eyes was removed...
Shocked Laughing

At least he's still got his right feet to type with, by the look of it. Laughing

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Yastreb
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 1:38 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

He should feel honoured - after all, a King of England met his death via a red-hot poker up the back passage!

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Donato
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 1:58 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
first he started with caressing my anus with hot rod inserted!


that'll bring tears to your eyes...oops I meant eye. Wink

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Mr Tambourine Man
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 2:21 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Pity he doesn't have a webcam. It would make a fine trophy. Very Happy

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Ninastian
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 2:26 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

You couldn't make this stuff up if you tried...

I have been contacted by my lad's kidnapper (a role played by my lad himself, of course) and told that if I pay him an extra several thousand dollars ransom, he will replace my lad's eye which he had earlier gouged out. I naturally wrote back expressing concern about how feasible this would be. Luckily the kidnapper was able to put my mind at rest:


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Oh [the captive] ate his own willy!!! HAHAHAHA. I saw the look of excitement in his eyes like no other meat taste better!! yummm yummm! HAHAHAAHAHA. He cut his big right toe, his penis and penis shaft at different stages- funny funny funny!! He did this where some promiscous women do all sort of things. I know they were all thrilled. ahahahahahhhhhaaaaaa. His penis shaft was sewn to his nostril and more!! The doctor did a good job!! My men took picture of him parading him around the market square and public schools where everyone sang him wanker praises!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! I will continue to torture him unless I receive my $150,000 reward for wasting my time!! Period!
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Donato
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Joined: 07 Jan 2007
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 2:33 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
You haven't seen anything yet!

Neither will the lad if this carries on...Very Happy

Get him to send the eye!!! jump_4_joy jump_4_joy jump_4_joy

Oh and ask if there's a 'two for the price of one' special. Wink

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Titania
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 2:35 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

He's keeping the eye in a warm DRY place? Shocked

Oh, yeah, that'll keep it safe.

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writeon
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 3:24 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I'm with Donato....get him to send you the eye, soonest.

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Ninastian
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 3:28 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

My lad's anus is developing quite a personality of its own:


BTW I have passed the bank account details to Alan.

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Oh [the captive] ate his own willy!!! HAHAHAHA. I saw the look of excitement in his eyes like no other meat taste better!! yummm yummm! HAHAHAAHAHA. He cut his big right toe, his penis and penis shaft at different stages- funny funny funny!! He did this where some promiscous women do all sort of things. I know they were all thrilled. ahahahahahhhhhaaaaaa. His penis shaft was sewn to his nostril and more!! The doctor did a good job!! My men took picture of him parading him around the market square and public schools where everyone sang him wanker praises!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! I will continue to torture him unless I receive my $150,000 reward for wasting my time!! Period!
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notobescammed
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 3:28 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I love where this is going.... Keep up the good work....

I'll keep my EYE on it Laughing

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Ima Baeder
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 3:31 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Shocked Laughing

I am having a hard time choosing what to comment on here. Laughing

I'll just go with: The verb "caress" doesn't really seem to fit the context.

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Simba
master of subtlety


Joined: 19 Nov 2006
Posts: 4092
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 3:36 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
i don't know whether to cry or laugh!!


How in the hell laughing becomes an option I truly do not know..... Laughing

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Ninastian
419Eater is my life


Joined: 19 Sep 2006
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 3:39 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

This just in. My lad at least has a realistic understanding of his brain size...

Quote:

I've got this fantastic mental picture of a stark naked one-eyed man with smoke coming out of his arse, desperately clinging on to a laptop and typing "stooooooooooop" as two burly kidnappers try to rip it out of his hands...

_________________
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Closed lad accounts Several
Oh [the captive] ate his own willy!!! HAHAHAHA. I saw the look of excitement in his eyes like no other meat taste better!! yummm yummm! HAHAHAAHAHA. He cut his big right toe, his penis and penis shaft at different stages- funny funny funny!! He did this where some promiscous women do all sort of things. I know they were all thrilled. ahahahahahhhhhaaaaaa. His penis shaft was sewn to his nostril and more!! The doctor did a good job!! My men took picture of him parading him around the market square and public schools where everyone sang him wanker praises!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! I will continue to torture him unless I receive my $150,000 reward for wasting my time!! Period!
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nyxalopes
Hello I'm New here!


Joined: 07 Sep 2008
Posts: 0
Location: U.S.


PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 3:43 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

"His eye has been kept in a warm and dry place- very well protected. This is what I have been advised by an optician who will put it back only on condition that I receive my money!! It becomes severely damaged if kept where it will attract dust etc! Or do you want me to send it to you? You haven't seen anything yet!"

Are you kidding me? Hi there, I am new to this site (I find it hilarious and think it is brilliant people are fighting back). First of all, they give their kidnappee internet access? Second, my son had to have his eye removed and we asked about transplant, and they said there is NO WAY an eye can be replaced/re-attatched. This is bullsh*t at it's best, and I am amazed that people fall for this. Kudos to everyone here for giving these guys what they deserve. I am still working up the courage to do it, I get 5 scam emails a day.
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Donato
Baiting Guru


Joined: 07 Jan 2007
Posts: 2923


PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 3:50 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Maybe a call to the lad is in order~with this playing in the background. Wink


edit to add-nyxalopes, sorry to hear about your kid. As for the emails you get-donate them to a worthy cause...US!!!

Read this first and the post them in the surplus section...

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Your are a complete ASSHOLE!! Dont you dare mail me again BASTARD!!!-george harrison
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Ninastian
419Eater is my life


Joined: 19 Sep 2006
Posts: 416


PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 3:57 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^^^^

Actually I had this in mind:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2iv_E-Fn9E

_________________
Safari Sea-Mugu, London-Is1e of Wight
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Closed lad accounts Several
Oh [the captive] ate his own willy!!! HAHAHAHA. I saw the look of excitement in his eyes like no other meat taste better!! yummm yummm! HAHAHAAHAHA. He cut his big right toe, his penis and penis shaft at different stages- funny funny funny!! He did this where some promiscous women do all sort of things. I know they were all thrilled. ahahahahahhhhhaaaaaa. His penis shaft was sewn to his nostril and more!! The doctor did a good job!! My men took picture of him parading him around the market square and public schools where everyone sang him wanker praises!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! I will continue to torture him unless I receive my $150,000 reward for wasting my time!! Period!
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YeaWhatever
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Joined: 24 Oct 2005
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 3:59 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Maybe you could tell him about the horrible paper cut that you got opening your paycheck today? Or how you bumped your head getting into your new Lexus? Or how aweful your wine tastes because some idiot chilled it too much?

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 4:10 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^Or how the caterers were 5 minutes late with lunch and the Cordon Bleu was not served with saffroned rice. Evil or Very Mad Just when you thought you've seen it all from the lads, one comes up with something like this. Just goes to show you have to keep an eye out for new modalities.

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jreh
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 4:23 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
the pain is centered in my brain cell


I always knew that lads were quite stupid, but this sheds a new light on things. I used to say that if they had one more brain cell... they'd have one brain cell. Now I find out that they already have one to begin with... what'll they think of next?

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Ninastian
419Eater is my life


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 6:26 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^^^^^^

jreh's photo is somehow apt.

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Closed lad accounts Several
Oh [the captive] ate his own willy!!! HAHAHAHA. I saw the look of excitement in his eyes like no other meat taste better!! yummm yummm! HAHAHAAHAHA. He cut his big right toe, his penis and penis shaft at different stages- funny funny funny!! He did this where some promiscous women do all sort of things. I know they were all thrilled. ahahahahahhhhhaaaaaa. His penis shaft was sewn to his nostril and more!! The doctor did a good job!! My men took picture of him parading him around the market square and public schools where everyone sang him wanker praises!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! I will continue to torture him unless I receive my $150,000 reward for wasting my time!! Period!
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Nanny Ogg
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 6:52 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Its too funny
Poor lad getting such a bum deal

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Anti-419
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 6:54 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

This would be very interesting to see the picture of your lad bound up wearing an eye patch and a rod sticking out of his anus. Laughing

Perhaps you can request for a picture evidence...

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