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 The Human Soundboard!

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notobescammed
Radio Man


Joined: 03 Jun 2007
Posts: 878
Location: Behind the Microphone...


PostPosted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 6:27 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

For this weeks show, I am going to attempt to be a human soundboard using only lines posted below when talking to the scammers... Laughing

Therefore a soundboard has a limited number of lines to repeatedly use and I want you to post your funny and outrageous lines below to drive the lads crazy as I repeat myself over and over again...

Let's see how long they stay on the line for...

Tune in on Sunday to hear the results www.blogtalkradio.com/ibc

NTBS Very Happy

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Listen to my show live every Sunday at 6pm UK, 1pm US! Just log onto www.blogtalkradio.com/ibc and click listen live!
If you missed a show, or to listen to your favorite shows - log onto www.blogtalkradio.com/ibc and click archived segments!
Internet's Biggest Conversation - Where Scammers are Scammed into reality Live!

you are trying to ask me if Iam a robber? is this correct? - Dr Usman
My own version meaning of the word (SCAM) {The Transaction you will start that will never end! - Kw3s1
Sometimes the truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off - Kw3s1

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Donato
Baiting Guru


Joined: 07 Jan 2007
Posts: 2923


PostPosted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 6:58 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

From my own insult asems... in no particular order (caps are mugu's not mine) Very Happy

YOUR MAMA TOTO

You are Cursed by Heaven!!!

DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM

HAVE A NICE DAY MR NO BODY

YOU SHOULD GO BACK TO SCHOOL AND LEARN MORE

YOU ARE A SENSLESS HUMAN BEAN

STOP FOOLING UR SELF MAN

CHIEF BIG FISH

A MONKEY IMPREGNATED YOUR MOM

HELLO A$$HOLE

God Bless you

YOUR MAMA TASTES FINE

IDIOT RAT MAN LIKE YOU

YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN USED AS STICK FOR PEGGING IN THE FARM.

_________________
^^^ damn tree hugging hippy. Very Happy -imike
Your are a complete ASSHOLE!! Dont you dare mail me again BASTARD!!!-george harrison
United States
pony Closed lad accounts - lots

<i><b>Free Pastor Frank!!!</b></i>
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Bruce Banner
Master Baiter


Joined: 15 Jul 2008
Posts: 189
Location: On the run from General Ross


PostPosted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 7:05 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

"What?"

"Hello, Delores!"

"Delores, just listen to me."

_________________
United Kingdom x6 Ghana x3 :S. Korea: x1 Spain x1 Belgium x1 Benin x1
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SlapHappy
Baiting Guru


Joined: 15 May 2006
Posts: 9612
Location: Floating up and down with happiness.


PostPosted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 7:15 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

"Hello, this is RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRANDY Oldman, amd I have just sent my payment to YOU!" Laughing

_________________
Sand Timer x Reven U., Fats Walla, Donny
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Safari x3 Nancy, Security Guy, Robert Accra-Tamale
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Safari Safari [email protected] & Charlie -Wulugu Or Bust Safari- Lagos to Paga & Tokwari X2 - 3800mi.
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Safari x2 Charles and Friend-Amsterdam to Vatican
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Mugatu
** Retired **


Joined: 13 May 2007
Posts: 3773
Location: The star of India


PostPosted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 7:28 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

When I'm talking to an agitated lad, I find that his most common words are likely to be "Okay" and "Listen".
I.e:
Quote:
Okay okay okay... Listen listen listen listen listen!


You'll no doubt know this from your hundreds of annoyed lad calls. So I suggest a big button that says "listen" and a big button that says "Okay" and you can hammer away all day.... in fact you and your lad can have a little competition as to who can shout it the most.

_________________
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Thinking of using phone modalities? Attend the 419eater university on audio baiting.

"They made me to understand you are a Fraud Star" - Ikenna.
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Worf
Elite Baiter


Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 1690
Location: Florida - it's hot down here


PostPosted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 9:35 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

"I am the atomic powered robot. Please give my best wishes to everybody!"

"He's dead, Jim."

"We've got to close the beaches!"

eta: Oh, did you just mean lad lines, or anything? Laughing

_________________
"Honey there no way to go out side camp without peppers and passport." - M1racle Y0rm1e
"Either you are lying or you are not telling the truth here, buddy." - H4rrison Ford (the lad, not the actor of course)
"you are an embodiment of permanent failure, an epitome of misfortune of life . . . a disgrace to your generation" - Lambert Lee
Safari = Rev. Michael Jeans - Dakar to Ziguinchor
Safari = Rev. Michael Jeans - Dakar to St. Louis, Senegal (co-bait with OxygenDeprived)
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Spudz
Elite Baiter


Joined: 22 Nov 2006
Posts: 1175
Location: --4--


PostPosted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 10:15 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

From the Duke Nukem sound board

"I've got balls of steel"

that gets really really annoying!

_________________
Javed Main:I received your e-mail message but cannot read very well due to the injection I took last night/Please for Gods sake i would'nt like you to address my bank as feck/You are a priest and you are bold enough to tell me that you took 3 bottles of the finest whiskey/Please i am not ready to take more of your insult.

NIGERIA HE GOAT
IF YOU EVER SEND THIS TYPE OF THINGS TO MY EMAIL;; I WILL SHOW MY SELF TO YOU BASTAD NIGERIA HE GOAT....F*CK OFF AND DIE OF UNGER


YOU ARE SUCH A NONENTITY, I NEVER KNEW PEOPLE LIKE YOU STILL IN EXISTENCE. WHAT AN INGLORIOUS BASTARD ARE YOU?

Closed lad accounts x 10-2x33/8 you do the hokey cokey and you turn around and that's what it's all about
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Yastreb
Demented Opportunist


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 15025
Location: Leading my wolf pack


PostPosted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 10:48 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

From the old Goon Show:

"Before we start, are there any further questions?"

"What's become of that crispy bacon we had before the war?"

_________________
I will heed the advice of a polite horse for it is written that more flies are caught with honey than vinegar... although assault carbines and monstrous wolves are still fun.

"I aim to misbehave."

Asena - Pretty Rose
United Kingdom x5 Spain New Zealand Senegal Ghana x2 Benin Closed lad accounts x 183
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Sand Timer x 7: Dufus & Abavana/Capt Joseph Annan/Victor Walla/Ohene Agyekum/James Jeffrey/Peace Akpobor & John Mensah/Tony Kalaby & Addo Gilbert
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SlapHappy
Baiting Guru


Joined: 15 May 2006
Posts: 9612
Location: Floating up and down with happiness.


PostPosted: Sat Sep 06, 2008 12:30 am Reply with quoteBack to top

From the old Honeymooners show, with Jackie Gleason:
"Do you wanna go to the moon, Alice?!!" One more word, Alice, just one more word...BANG! ZOOM! Right to the moon! " Laughing

EDIT: here's another one...
"I sent you your money for my pink pony. Now, where the hell is it!!??" Laughing

_________________
Sand Timer x Reven U., Fats Walla, Donny
Safari x10 Sand Timer X2 MM:Mikex2, JohnK, [email protected], Ob1, Armstrong, Ismail, TG&Friend
Safari x3 Nancy, Security Guy, Robert Accra-Tamale
Safari Safari Sand Timer (19 mo.) Tina and Joe's Safari - Accra to Niger & Timbucktu
Safari Safari [email protected] & Charlie -Wulugu Or Bust Safari- Lagos to Paga & Tokwari X2 - 3800mi.
Golden Pith x3 H3ctor & [email protected] - Yankar1 & Parakou
Safari x2 Charles and Friend-Amsterdam to Vatican
Safari Issac to Chad
Be A Cool Cat, Like Me Trophy Videos Cool Stuff
pony pony Closed lad accounts Mortar Goat Easter Egg 2011
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Shagnasty
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 16 Jun 2007
Posts: 81
Location: On a learning curve.


PostPosted: Sat Sep 06, 2008 3:49 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

You did not go to school very well.

_________________
I guess you will no apologise, so I will try and forget the insults. I am a businesmen, and so I am try to make money, and forget personal. G*@rge Schr4nn3r

You can't cheat an honest man, never give a sucker an even break, and never wise up a chump. WC
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Connie L. Gus
Moderator


Joined: 07 Oct 2005
Posts: 6409
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow


PostPosted: Sat Sep 06, 2008 4:43 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

What's up doc?
What a maroon.
Free your mind.
Whoa...dejavu.

You don't understand! I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I could've been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am.

What we've got here is failure to communicate.
Show me the money!
As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again.

_________________
Mortar x8 Purple Flower Easter Egg
LISTEN TO ME WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR ONE OF THOSE CHEAP CROOK OR WHAT -tobi donito
Closed lad accounts-a few, United Nations
LISTEN I CAN NOT TAKE YOUR SHIT ANY LONGER WE HAVE WHROTE A PETITION AGAINST YOU TO THE FBI WITH ALL OUR EVIDENCE YOU ARE INTO PROSTITUTION,DRUG DEALING, FORGERY, CREDIT CARDS FORGRY WESTEN UNION FALSIFICATION,DRUGING MEN,COMMETING MURDER, STEALING, DRUNCARD, ALL THIS WE HAVE THE EVIDENCE TO PROOF OUR CASE AGAINST YOU.-Johnson Hill
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Anti-419
Elite Baiter


Joined: 28 Jul 2004
Posts: 1804
Location: Bay Area, CA


PostPosted: Sat Sep 06, 2008 4:50 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

You are still a small boy mugu.

Your mama's toto smells like a dead goat.

Stupid mugu...I chopped your dolla!

Hello stupid....hello stupid....hello stupid...

Very Happy

_________________
Barr Marc Hycinth: "I HATE HOW MY NAME IS BEEN RUBISHED AT THE CASHING OFFICE TODAY."
Safari Lad: "...your mails are a healing balm to my condiction here."
Jeremiah Nnamani: "With you I wouldn't mind being a fool for the rest of my life."
James Bruce: "Thanks for your mail and also your insult to my personality and company."

Baiting Record:
Trophies - 128 | 4 AM Airport Taxi - 6
Nurse Nastys Audi TT Safari - Sierra Leone to Nigeria - "...please help me ,you brought me here to NIgeria.take me out."
Mortar x14
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FrumpyBB
Dean: Eater University


Joined: 22 Nov 2006
Posts: 5988
Location: Germany


PostPosted: Sat Sep 06, 2008 6:20 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

"Where did you find my private email?"

"Why do you think I am the right person?"

"Why do you need a foreign partner?"

"Shut up! Listen to me!"

"I want to speak to the man next to you."

"Do you have a wife?"

"Please repeat this sentence."

"Can you go somewhere with less background noise?"

"This is very interesting - but I donĀ“t want to do anything illegal."

"I think you are not serious with this transaction."

"Time is not our friend, you know."

"Does your boss agree to this business suggestion?"

"I advise you to do this immediately."

"You are delaying things."

"I will pray for a speedy transaction."

"I understand this is urgent business, very very urgent."

"My lawyer will call you, Dr. Oscomby ter Stivi. Please repeat his name : Oscomby ter Stivi."

"I am not happy about this delay."

"What is MTCN again?"

"Why Western Union?"

"I do not write you an email, I am calling you, you wanted me to call you."

"Why is this so urgent?"

"Is this legal?"

"Is it 100% risky-free?"

"Why this question?"

Great idea, Dan Laughing

_________________
SIR,I DON'T ENTERTAIN RIGMAROLE AND THERE IS NO ROOM FOR DILLY- DALLY.
the ball is in your cult
Safari x 5 ARK & Co. incl. 1 safari w/ RS17 & NTBS
Safari Dan the lotto man, ARK mugu wedding
Safari Dennis the hitman, co-bait w/ Murry Guru
Safari Zake (w/ SH, SL & Craig)
Safari x 5 Modeling Mugu Meeting, w/ mewing_ghecko & Otterfan & SSC
Safari x 2 another MMM w/ SH
Safari x 13 Later shows and trips for the benefit of M00seknuckle, incl. the 0budu Fact Finding Mission

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SlapHappy
Baiting Guru


Joined: 15 May 2006
Posts: 9612
Location: Floating up and down with happiness.


PostPosted: Sat Sep 06, 2008 7:19 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

"Hello, this is Santa Claus. What do you want me to bring you for Christmas?"

"There so many...How will he ever pick a few lines for his show?" Smile

edit...

_________________
Sand Timer x Reven U., Fats Walla, Donny
Safari x10 Sand Timer X2 MM:Mikex2, JohnK, [email protected], Ob1, Armstrong, Ismail, TG&Friend
Safari x3 Nancy, Security Guy, Robert Accra-Tamale
Safari Safari Sand Timer (19 mo.) Tina and Joe's Safari - Accra to Niger & Timbucktu
Safari Safari [email protected] & Charlie -Wulugu Or Bust Safari- Lagos to Paga & Tokwari X2 - 3800mi.
Golden Pith x3 H3ctor & [email protected] - Yankar1 & Parakou
Safari x2 Charles and Friend-Amsterdam to Vatican
Safari Issac to Chad
Be A Cool Cat, Like Me Trophy Videos Cool Stuff
pony pony Closed lad accounts Mortar Goat Easter Egg 2011

Last edited by SlapHappy on Sun Sep 07, 2008 1:55 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Ari
Elite Baiter


Joined: 17 Sep 2004
Posts: 1269


PostPosted: Sat Sep 06, 2008 8:46 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

And speaking of Italy and sports cars that I stole there, you still owe me a yellow Porsche.

I prefer brunettes.

We're a bit sensitive to blood around here. I'm sure you can understand that.

I don't have any leeches on my speed dial.

I'm really glad Edward didn't kill you. Everything's so much more fun with you around.

Here's the thing... I've already gone crazy once. I know what my limits are.

I never thought I needed to teach you how to throw a punch. Guess I was wrong about that.

You aren't exactly the best judge of what is or isn't dangerous.

It's the thought that counts. I ought to know.

Do you think either of them would give up if you died? They'd still fight, we all would. You can't change anything, so just be good, okay?

I was just wondering why you stabbed him. Not that I object.

I can't imagine how awful that must feel. Being normal? Ugh.

Quite a pity how things turned out, isn't it?

Jasper? What do vampires do for bachelor parties? You're not taking him to a strip club, are you?

You're awfully small to be so hugely irritating.

Over my pile of ashes.

I'd like to beat you dead.

I'll kill you myself! I'll do it now!
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Mugatu
** Retired **


Joined: 13 May 2007
Posts: 3773
Location: The star of India


PostPosted: Sat Sep 06, 2008 10:19 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

All lines I have used in phone calls while baiting as my favourite bait character, Pat Bateman:

I saw the acclaimed New York musical, "Oh Africa, Brave Africa". It was.. a laugh riot.

I like to dissect girls. Did you know I'm utterly insane?

Listen, you'll have to excuse me. I have a lunch meeting with Cliff Huxtable at the Four Seasons in 20 minutes.

You're f***ing me and we don't have plans tonight. What could you possibly be doing?

Why don't you get a job? If you're so hungry, why don't you get a job?

I have to return some videotapes.

I need to engage in homicidal behaviour on a... uh... massive scale. It cannot be corrected but I have no other way to fulfill my needs.

I'm into... well, murders and executions mostly.

And see if you can get this one in without laughing. I managed it in a phone call to my "Barrister" a few months back, I thought that if I was paying him to be my personal Barrister, he'd better know what he let himself in for:

Quote:
Harold, it's Bateman, Patrick Bateman. You're my lawyer so I think you should know: I've killed a lot of people. Some girls in the apartment uptown uh, some homeless people maybe 5 or 10 um an NYU girl I met in Central Park. I left her in a parking lot behind some donut shop. I killed Bethany, my old girlfriend, with a nail gun, and some man uh some old faggot with a dog last week. I killed another girl with a chainsaw, I had to, she almost got away and uh someone else there I can't remember maybe a model, but she's dead too. And Paul Allen. I killed Paul Allen with an axe in the face, his body is dissolving in a bathtub in Hell's Kitchen. I don't want to leave anything out here. I guess I've killed maybe 20 people, maybe 40. I have tapes of a lot of it, uh some of the girls have seen the tapes. I even, um... I ate some of their brains, and I tried to cook a little. Tonight I, uh, I just had to kill a LOT of people. And I'm not sure I'm gonna get away with it this time. I guess I'll uh, I mean, ah, I guess I'm a pretty uh, I mean I guess I'm a pretty sick guy. So, if you get back tomorrow, meet me at Harry's Bar, so you know, keep your eyes open.

_________________
pony pony - because you deserve them! Mortar x19 Closed lad accounts Nigeria Nigeria United States United States Benin United Kingdom United Kingdom United Kingdom United Kingdom United Kingdom Malaysia Cellphone Cellphone
Thinking of using phone modalities? Attend the 419eater university on audio baiting.

"They made me to understand you are a Fraud Star" - Ikenna.
"I like traveling very much, it is so exciting and interesting to see foreign countries. but I have never been to foreign countries." - Marina.
"I will have you now I am highly reputable businness magnet." - Pam Doh
"Sorry,i do not know you are all that: a destitute and nuts" - Ben Chris
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redshoes17
Elite Baiter


Joined: 28 Feb 2007
Posts: 1731


PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 4:01 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Sorry I found this thread too late.

I would quote the 118th Psalm, "This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it." I really should have thought of quoting this to willy when he was suffering from malaria.

_________________
United Kingdom
Safari Willy Accra to Abuja to Maiduguri
Safari Floyd Lagos to Abeche with reaper
Safari Dan Benin City to Lagos
Safari ARK Tamale to Kumasi
star Hello Kitty! Mortar x41
I don't need you alone for sex. w1l13

i was ashamed this money money was not in the system when we got there to cash it,it made me and my family lawyer look like little children Godwin

'because no one want your progress not every one want your goat to give birth to twins as the man who see tomorrow told me when i visit him in the shrine Godwin

i was rubbed by rubber last friday, they collectted all my money and my phones.
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notobescammed
Radio Man


Joined: 03 Jun 2007
Posts: 878
Location: Behind the Microphone...


PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 11:56 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^^^^Better late than never Redshoes!!

With the success of the human soundboard on yesterday's show.... (Despite technical difficulties)

This will become a regular feature to torture the lads... We had some pretty colourful responses yesterday and i'm sure plenty more to come!

Keep your one-liners for the soundboards coming....

NTBS

_________________
Listen to my show live every Sunday at 6pm UK, 1pm US! Just log onto www.blogtalkradio.com/ibc and click listen live!
If you missed a show, or to listen to your favorite shows - log onto www.blogtalkradio.com/ibc and click archived segments!
Internet's Biggest Conversation - Where Scammers are Scammed into reality Live!

you are trying to ask me if Iam a robber? is this correct? - Dr Usman
My own version meaning of the word (SCAM) {The Transaction you will start that will never end! - Kw3s1
Sometimes the truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off - Kw3s1

Pith Helmet Birthday Safari - Co Bait with FrumpyBB and Redshoes17

Click here to support 419Eater.com Nurse Nastys Audi TT
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dagget
Master Baiter


Joined: 10 Nov 2006
Posts: 242
Location: Melbourne, Australia


PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 1:30 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Couple of favourites...

But you forget Peter, I was present at an underwater unexplained mass sponge migration

Let history never forget the name Enterprise

I'm on the run from the Fascist police with a murderer, a mass murderer and a man in a bri-nylon shirt

I am and always will be your friend.

_________________
I DONT KNOW YOU
USE THE MONEY TO BUY COFFIN. " ASEM lad
Have i scammed you once,instead you are the one scamming us here now....Send the money animal.
PLEASE TAKE CAER OF YOUR SELF OR I SEND TO YOU F.I.B ?

United Kingdom Closed lad accounts X24 Sand Timer 1 X 2.5 years
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Titania
Hell on wheels


Joined: 06 Jun 2008
Posts: 2442
Location: Rollin' rollin' rollin'


PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 4:33 am Reply with quoteBack to top

We're from the government. We're here to help you.

Is it safe?

_________________
i do not know you.you need to expanciate more - C0llins W3aver
those words really made me felt completely bad..and i had to dust my ass and wipe tears Micheal David
pony pony pony Mc Fry Goat Goat Closed lad accounts Mortar x 8
Safari Stanley's Christmas Adventure 2008 - Lagos to Abuja - massbait
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Yastreb
Demented Opportunist


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 15025
Location: Leading my wolf pack


PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 12:42 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

When I reach for my revolver I hear the word 'culture.

You know it's true what they say; no man is an island. But if you tie a bunch of dead guys together they make a pretty good raft.

How many nuns would a nunchuck chuck if a nunchuck could chuck nuns?

Rubber macfisheries rapid plug underwear emulsion sick custard... machine wrapped with butter.

The only Emperor is the Emperor of Ice Cream.

The Hunchback will have something to say about this!

Sometimes when it's cold outside I like to pretend I'm a bottle of shampoo.

That's what they should have told the hypnotherapist, and look what happened when they didn't...

I had no shoes, and I was feeling sorry for myself. But then I saw a man with no feet... So I took his shoes. I mean, he didn't need them any more, right?

And for those wondering what all that was about... Max Geldray will now play a loaded sackbut from the kneeling position.

_________________
I will heed the advice of a polite horse for it is written that more flies are caught with honey than vinegar... although assault carbines and monstrous wolves are still fun.

"I aim to misbehave."

Asena - Pretty Rose
United Kingdom x5 Spain New Zealand Senegal Ghana x2 Benin Closed lad accounts x 183
Safari x 4 - Oyenka Chidinma - Lagos to Cotonou; Dickyboi - Lagos to Accra; Femmy - Lagos to Porto Novo; "Woody" - Accra to Singapore
Sand Timer x 7: Dufus & Abavana/Capt Joseph Annan/Victor Walla/Ohene Agyekum/James Jeffrey/Peace Akpobor & John Mensah/Tony Kalaby & Addo Gilbert
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