Shorty - goes pervy - my bad influence ?

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Trophy Videos · Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 3:36 pm

Gomer, you are an evil genius and quite insane. I mean that in the best possible light. Wink

LMAO

Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 6:48 pm

I object to the accolade genius Very Happy

as I screwed this up so many times, it was only Shorty's quest for stardom and unique ability to rationalise any mistake I made that kept it going.

I will accept the crown of insanity though. Laughing

After getting so much out of him, I could let him go like a stickleback caught in a jam jar, but he'd have learned nothing and just go back to scamming in his usual manner, maybe hookng a victim advanced in years, maybe from a country where scams are not well known or someone with learning difficulties (all types of victims I have come across myself) so Shorty is going to be crash tested - for being a scammer.

When I find a recovery scammer who actually repays victims I'll reconsider.

Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 7:20 pm

Gomer:

What do you have planned for him next? Do you think you can get him arrested more than once? Jojo got like 10 safari's from one lad, you could do him one up and get 10 arrests out of Shorty?

Did I end every sentence with a question mark?

Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 7:32 pm

I think it's time to put Shorty to bed The Man - if you know what I mean. Wink

I covered most aspects in my post Fri Sep 12, 2008 1:32 pm and, with the help of Pastor Frank, we are trying to give the Nigerian legal system a helping hand. It appears he is out on bail, which could mean anything, but clearly if things develop, any future arrest, could be more permanent.

Apart from Pastor Frank's nest of scammers, there is another one supllied by Pachanga we are involving and a cultist I am picking a fight with, on Shorty's behalf.

After speaking to Pastor Frank, I could also use my mass baiting tactics to send a stream of Lads round to his Lads, which may fray their nerves enough to force continuance of their legal action.

I'd like to bring it all to a conclusion this weekend, if I can, as I see no point in recycling him again and again.

In his latest mail it appears he is becoming romantically involved. Not really, I just rebuked him for not showing me more affection (as Ludmi||a). I love being wooed by a Lad Twisted Evil

'cause I'm a 'pervert bastard'.

Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 7:43 pm

Quote:

I'd like to bring it all to a conclusion this weekend, if I can, as I see no point in recycling him again and again.

This is probably one of the best baits I have read. You can't give him up!

Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 8:26 pm

I can't get back to mass baiting as long as Shorty is alive errr I mean running about out of control. Laughing

My mail to him as Ludmi||a rebuked him about how the flame of passion appeared to have gone out of our relationship - you know the script. Very Happy

He takes me for granted and doesn't pay me compliments any more. Laughing

So I get this back

Quote:

Subject: Am sorry luddy, i love you.........

My Dear Luddy,

Am very sorry for all i have said to you so far, am not that wicked nor hostile. Am a very nice guy who knows how to treat a lady very well.

My parents taught me how to be nice to my brothers and sister in the neighbourhood and i have always fufilled my promised by doing so! I never meant to say all these to you but it is due to annoyance! Because you had treated thinsg so badly. But still, i have to be happy with at all time.

Furthermore, i do mean i have full informations of your whereabout, that could have been a easy move for me again! So thats the reason i asked you to study te environment and the area very well.

I don't know your phone number, so i will like you to send that to now, so i can dial your phone and call to hear your sweet voice again. (you flatterer you - if only you knew Laughing

)

I felt much more bitter for not seeing you yet, your picture are good but not the best like seeing you luddy I can't leave you to your problems because i knew you can be a great help and Opputurnity to me in the nearest future.. So thats why am very concerns about help you out and i have good faith in God that i'll find you soon!

I am not happy at all with the way people had treated you, so thats why i got annoyed with you in my mail that you need to be more smart and why are you taking much longer to reply my mails????

You have to be checking your mail at all time because i will not be at peace if i didn't hear from you in days!

I can't sleep because i do not know what had been happening to you where you are now.So you have to help me luddy. I was supposed to be in school now for more courses, i couldn't leave now and i have prosponed that till next year so i could got much time to look for you.

Again, What you need to do is to go the front of the house and look at the HOUSE NUMBER, THE STREET AND AREA. Because it may not be what you gave to me ok?

So write me back with your phone number area code (DIAL CODE) for example, the dial code of nigeria is (+234), so whats your own phone number and dial code? i needed it to ring you.

Hope nothing had happened to your luggage? and please keep telling the fools to let you go away! and you do not need them!

Send me more beautiful pictures of yours because you are really making me feel for you now!

Warmest Regards,

Bruce

Shorty's Book of Passion - how to turn a girl on with dirty talk about Nigerian dialling codes. Laughing

Trophy Videos · Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 11:58 pm

Quote:

I can't leave you to your problems because i knew you can be a great help and Opputurnity to me in the nearest future.

This is the biggest turn on, Gomer. She will feel needed... Laughing

Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 11:24 am

I just don't believe it.

Shorty is a man possessed, by what I dread to think.

If I hadn't had the good fortune to have Pastor Frank corroborate the arrests independently I wouldn't even dare to publish what's going on, in case everyone thought I was making it all up or was undergoing a mental breakdown.

This is his latest message - fresh in, with some details deleted where asked by other baiters who have kindly supllied names and addresses for me to use

Quote:

Subject: Dear Luddy,.................i needed your help

Dear Luddy,

This is to to get you assured that am always with you! I couldn't sleep overnight, thinking of how you would be free from all these pervert bastard people!

Now, i needed your help one more time to enable the Army and police carryout their good job of saving your life!

You do not need to be scared or afraid, all i needed from you is to follow my instructions as you always do and co-operate with me and the police. Am very assured they will get the so-called XXXXXX and Solomon and the rest of their crew!

Now, i want to ask you some questions,......................

(1) Is the house an UPSTAIRS or UNDERSTAIRS?

(2)What is the colour of the House?, if it was painted.

(3)If it is an UPSTAIRS, which flat are you held in? Is it first flat in at the up or second flat at the back??

(4)Is it first flat at the floor or second flat at the floor?

(5)If it is a private house, go outside the house and take a full shot-snap of the house and send it to me so as to enable the police raid them and get tme red-handed!

Do not hesitate to answer all these questions, just pretend as if you taking a stroll around the compound, easy you will just take a shot-snap of the building right from the front of the house so as to eanble the police raid them.

Take note, no police is looking for you for stabbing Tunji, if i had the oppoturnity, i too will do the same to him!
But i promised you, all these Evil men will rot in jail for treating you so badly!

Please Dear Luddy, you just have to do all theses i have said to you ok! Because the Police needed more evidence to treat your case nicely and brought all these criminal to book.

One of the Police officer inchrage of the case was said to be my Dad's Old friend during the 80s. He assisted i and my crew that when we were arrested when we visited XXXXXX! And he had promised to take the case up and we must all find you! XXXXXX and his men arrested I and my crew when we are at his house to collect your Hotel security Box and he denied he didn't have any box in his house, i know its the right time for him to suffer and he must SUFFER!!! I do not want to miss you because you just like an angel and i have been through you picture always and they are fanstatic! So just be calm, everything is gonna be ok!

JUST GET BACK TO ME WITH THE PICTURE AND I WILL BE VERY GLAD TO SEE THAT.

Again, i have attached a picture of what i want the photo to look like, just get me soemthing similar to this!

Best of Love from,

Bruce

I think he finally wants to get jiggy with me. Laughing

Should I shave my legs and chest first ? Very Happy

The A team are coming to rescue me. I think I need a brandy. LOL_sign

... and just to make me wet my pants he kindly sent me an example picture of what a house looks like. I can't take much more of this. I'll need nappies.

Clearly the average Nigerian downtown slum. Yeah - that's the one Shorty. Does he fink I'm fick or what ?

Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 11:42 am

Gomer:

This is too funny! It is early AM here while I am reading this and Mrs The Man is still in bed, I think I might wake her with my laughing.

Now I have the theme from the A-Team running through my head.... "I pity the fool who messes with Shorty!"

Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 12:29 pm

I've been trying to find a photo taken in that area without much luck but I have found out some interesting things.

Quote:

Until recently, Ago Okota, a fast developing Lagos suburb, was notorious for deadly robbery attacks.

The armed robbery siege was not helped by the sudden drift of some upward mobile Lagosians to the fast urbanizing enclave. Cost of land skyrocketed, yet people trickled in daily, which resulted to population explosion in the area.

Magnificent mansions, eateries, hotels, departmental stores, fuel stations and other businesses flourished. Yet, government authorities did not see Ago Okota as deserving of a Divisional Police Headquarters that should be equipped with more high ranking personnel, men, arms and other equipment as against a Police Post Okota had to contend with high crime rate there.

... and the address of the known scammer supplied to Shorty just happens to be not more than 25 properties away from the police barracks there. Shocked

Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 1:22 pm

I can't find any sort of photograph of the area but I found a map, and with a little photoshop work I have removed anything showing it's real purpose and added a little incriminating detail.

I'll add in my mail from Ludmi||a that she can't go out as they only allow her to wear her 'underclothings' Twisted Evil

which should stiffen his resolve and, as he likes my pictures so much, I'll send some more.

I'll get him lined up for the phone tomorrow and hopefully there'll be fireworks and I can get back to baiting some other lucky Lads. - may his soul rot in a Lagos jail. Laughing

Trophy Videos · Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 2:22 pm

I'm looking forward to that phonecall on the radioshow tomorrow, Gomer. Very Happy

I hope you can get him arrested again, and put in jail or a booby hatch for good!

I seriously don't think I can read this thread everyday. My stomach and lungs are getting damaged from laughing so hard!

Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 5:40 pm

This is surreal! I'm laughing so hard at the mental images I get from reading his emails.

It seems he has "little man" complex. His deeds will make up for his height deficiency. -

I can't wait to read what happens next.

Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 6:21 pm

You leave my little Hobbit alone.

"Nasty little Hobbitses - always trying steal my precious" - that's what Ludmi||a will be saying. Dan prefers a recorded call, which will help him organise the show, so I'm going to line up the drinks and a bowl in preparation for a steamy session with Mr T's diminutive brother.

Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 7:09 pm

That was a 30 minute police interrogation. You can tell his Dad was in the police, but I don't suppose he was that good if he mistakes my crap imitation as being a female.

The hilarious bit was at the end when he introduced me to the members of his 'crew' and I had to say hello to them all.

BWWWWWWWAAAAAA HAAAAAA HAAAAAA

I'll review it and cut it down a lot. Shorty asking the same questions over and over isn't too exciting but at least he provided a nice finish.

This is the full uncut version lasting just under 30 minutes and Shorty isn't an inspirational speaker.

http://Gomer.fileave.com/LudmillaVShorty8.mp3

I recommend you wait for the edited version

It's funnier than I thought - Shorty "Have you sent a picture of the house ?" Ludmilla "No - I have sent you a map" Shorty "So did you send a picture ?" Laughing

Each time he does that my falsetto is clinging on by the fingernails as I am trying to make the dingbat listen to me.

Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 8:30 pm

GomerPyle wrote:

Now Mr G0mer is on the run from the police.

He's made it onto Nigeria's most wanted list -

I always knew Mr G0mer would go far in life.

Razz

Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 9:28 pm

I listened to the conversation. It was so funny!

Is Shorty planning a raid on the house you're being held in tomorrow?

Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 9:31 pm

GP, may I ask whose pics are you using to keep Mr. Bruc3 warm? Though, of course, a safe box containing $100,000 would beautify any girl in a lad's eyes Very Happy

Edit: typo

Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 9:53 pm

Shorty has to be one of the worst hostage-helpers in history. Abrasive, annoying, hyper, rambling... he's really bad.

This is the image I get of Lvddy and Shorty. Shorty played by Gary Coleman:

Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 10:27 pm

@ Niagara, O roar again! - the purest young girl I could find, who is both demure and respectable, with many pictures on the internet - Paris Hilton Laughing

Talk like a virgin and behave like a slut works for a lot of guys, though Paris Hilton only satisfies one of the criteria.

@ Scarlett - that's what we're aiming for. Twisted Evil

He is effectively out on police bail (with three of his pals) for a previous rescue attempt at the house of Pastor Frank's Lads, and Pastor Frank is trying to get a copy of the arrest report, and is stirring things up nicely.

Shorty's Dad is apparently ex-police and managed to get him bail, but there is an open file on him, so the hope is that a second offence out on police bail, also involving the police in a farcical raid, will get him deeper in the mire. I suspect that he hopes that a successful rescue here will get him out of hot water on the first offence.

It took me over a year to get my one and only trophy picture and this is my first safari, and it's gone completely ballistic. The house is the home of another scammer, so police involvement is not going to be totally wasted. Shorty could end up a hero yet. Shocked

Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 10:58 pm

As promised, my own little leprechaun sent Ludmi||a a mail

Quote:

Dear Luddy,

Am so glad to hear from you on the phone. Now you now act as a real Russian Girl! (Acting as a Soviet transvestite just comes naturally to me I guess)
I have received the photos and the map, the pictures are really fantastic (A dash of lip gloss and I look like the real thing)but on the map, i and my crew will work on that on Sunday (Tomorrow) (You mean Sunday comes after Saturday in Nigeria too ?). Just try and be the best of yourself why i work things out here with the police. (I think they call it plea bargaining)

Do not let them know you have cash on you as i have told you on the phone conversation and even the police too. I will be around as early as possible to note the area first and if i could get the place, i will quickly get the police informed about this and they shall be there for the arrest and you must also come with the police and i will be at the station to meet you. (Who am I to argue ?)

Do not do anything suspicious in there, just keep calm and pary things work out for us. It's a pity, gave away my laptop computer, at a cheaper rate to nable me have more money and bills and make sure Big Joe and my mum get well soon! (You know you're having a bad day when .........)
So i will be expecting your call at the time promised tomorrow Because i can't wait to listen to your sweet angelic voice!

So just be your best and send me more evidence as you could if incase you have the chance to do that, the picture of the house would have been the best and since you are unable to go out, i guess we come survey the area with the given map.
I love these pictures, i would love to put them right in my room after i set the furnishing the place. (Would you like one of the real me ?)
I know they are all fraudsters and thats why they are keeping you Bu the not be boredered, the Lord is out strength.

Mind you, my cellphone is always opened to receive your calls.

Do not over sleep, be watchful,

Go give yourself a rest,

Best of love from,

Bruce.

Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2008 5:54 am

GP, I can't deny: your voice combined with the unique Sverdlovskian accent is angelic Laughing

As for the call, I could sense some anticipation and excitement before the orgastic big day...

Could you ask Sh0rty to send a picture of his God-fearing crew to you?

Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2008 7:38 am

I could say "if there's one mistake I made..." but in truth this bait only worked because of the mistakes I made (and with no little help from Shorty) but I regret that Shorty's paranoia that Mr G0mer could get his picture means I may never get to swoon over his likeness, which is a real shame.

He did say something in that looooong call about sending me his picture, but then backed out of it. I'd do anything to get it - well almost anything. Laughing

I get the feeling that Shorty is probably quite a priveleged individual what with being at university and having a well connected Dad. He said previously he's been skipping classes to handle this, and he's also not going to church tomorrow, which is a big mistake. I can imagine the Almighty coming to him in his prayers saying "For Pete's sake Shorty, don't you see the truth".

... and I should mention that involving the Police is his idea, not mine, and as he and the houseowner are both scammers, I see good reason for their involvement.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2008 1:05 pm

Excellent call, Gomer! Laughing

You got him totally convinced of the whole scenario. If all goes according to plan today, you won't be getting any more emails or calls from him for quite a while. Except maybe a couple from the pokey before they shut the door. Laughing

Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2008 1:41 pm

I have the feeling that Shorty will never gove up hope that this is all true.

At the start when he keeps ignoring that I had sent him a map and not a picture. I can hear the strain in my voice trying to get him to understand, and about 10 minutes from the end I was trying to close the call and he was asking about my family in Sverdlovsk (I chose that on purpose as it's great to say). It was like neing grilled by the police - and to finish off being introduced like Maid Marian to his band of men. That was plain bizarre, and a little worrying in case one of them has some sense.

I better go out and buy some phone credit. Shorty should be scooting around in the bushes outside the house at this very moment. Rolling Eyes

mmmmm - he did mention coming to France to see me as well. Laughing

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