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 Shorty - goes pervy - my bad influence ?

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Scarlett
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Joined: 20 Jul 2008
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 07, 2008 6:22 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I can't believe how he gets in trouble all by himself.
This is definitely one of those "truth stranger than fiction" stories.
I can picture him at the police station trying to explain the situation.
It's hilarious.

Are you going to send the picture he asked for? Laughing

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GomerPyle
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 07, 2008 6:28 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I'll call his phone as Mr G0mer, but I don't know how late Nigerian police work. If they answer I can drop Shorty in it better than a hangman,

I'm going out early tomorrow, so that'll be my last chance with the phone. Basically I'll mention a deal with lots of money. I think that will excite the police.

I have some pictures I can send. Also I can point the police at Mr XXXX as I know where he works.

Poor Shorty - and I'm the only person he can rely on. Poor sod. Laughing

_________________
Fake sites killed 1 x Australia 9 x United Kingdom 3 x 168 X Closed lad accounts Easter Egg 2011
Pith Helmet - the 'Asparagus Kid' - Accra to Lome - You Must surly Die in The Name Of Jesus Christ
Pith Helmet - Steve - Lagos to Accra
Pith Helmet - Frank - Lagos to Cotonou - co-bait with the vampire
Pith Helmet - Shorty - Lagos to Cotonou - My Agro Base farming where i rearing chicken and other animals was set ablazed overnight and we do not know who is actual behinde all these evils! -
I and my crew was locked up for 3 good days….They wanted to charge us to court but later we are fined an huge amount of money…I asked them why did they arrest the men, they started laughing and saying all sorts mockering words! -
…because now, am left with nothing and remember i told you my Guy (Joe) gave up earlier this morning
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Collider
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 08 Jun 2008
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 07, 2008 7:07 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

The metal lad puts himself behind iron bars Very Happy
Congratulations!

I'd love to see the face of a policeman googling for Mr. G0mer and filing Yahoo News to the investigation Laughing
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N.O.R.A
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Joined: 17 Feb 2008
Posts: 2340
Location: Enjoying all the love from Africa.


PostPosted: Sun Sep 07, 2008 7:16 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Laughing Laughing Laughing

How convenient to have your lad in custody while you are not able to bait him Very Happy

May we soon see G0mer's wanted posters here? Shocked

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GomerPyle
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 07, 2008 9:01 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

It's the basic rule that you shouldn't allow your Lad to control the bait.

Sometimes giving him a lot of instructions and then leaving him to stew is a good option. It happened in this case by accident, but it demonstrates that leaving a tempting opportunity in a Lad's mind can lead to interesting results.

His phone is switched off so I can't drop him in it that way, but I can send him photos that will allow him to add a few feet to the hole he's in. Evil or Very Mad

The important thing was to reassure him that Ludmi||a is okay and relaxing at the safari camp. I know Shorty will appreciate that.

I have sent him a couple of mocked up photos Very Happy One is of the actual family that he is accused of trying to rob and the other picture is of Ludmi||a smooching up to, what looks like, one of the Lads in the photo.

Quote:
Hi Mr Bruce

I am awful disturbed to hear all this bad things that happen with you.

I am most desperate to help you with this fix and have put with this mail fotos I did with XXXXXX familly when I was with them. Like what you know I am hiding from police persons so you best be care over telling police you know me as I stabbed Olatunji and when we took foto with family they put me behind sheet so I was under hiding.

Please don't be telling them anything you know about me as now I have gone to 5imba Safari camp in north of Nigeria where I am safe from all things. Have they put bastard fat pig Olatunji in ground yet ?

I have foto also of Mr XXXXXX when he took me to bar where he was being very nice with me but he gave me much too lots to drink and after all what has happened I was feeling he was very nice man.

He is said he wants to come to me in safari Camp for business purpose and I am not knowing if this is ATM card you have asked him to do for you.

I hope all that I have told you and fotos are what you need to make you safe, then let me know as it is very nice here and I am all so much relaxing after all this trouble.


BiBi Luddi


I can't even guess what will happen next, but i'll just be happy with another safari, but I think Shorty wants so much more. Laughing

_________________
Fake sites killed 1 x Australia 9 x United Kingdom 3 x 168 X Closed lad accounts Easter Egg 2011
Pith Helmet - the 'Asparagus Kid' - Accra to Lome - You Must surly Die in The Name Of Jesus Christ
Pith Helmet - Steve - Lagos to Accra
Pith Helmet - Frank - Lagos to Cotonou - co-bait with the vampire
Pith Helmet - Shorty - Lagos to Cotonou - My Agro Base farming where i rearing chicken and other animals was set ablazed overnight and we do not know who is actual behinde all these evils! -
I and my crew was locked up for 3 good days….They wanted to charge us to court but later we are fined an huge amount of money…I asked them why did they arrest the men, they started laughing and saying all sorts mockering words! -
…because now, am left with nothing and remember i told you my Guy (Joe) gave up earlier this morning
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 07, 2008 9:47 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

The man in that house must be really short, if Shorty says he's short. Laughing

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 12:29 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Shocked Incredible! Shocked
I wonder how long a sentence he'll get? Laughing

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GomerPyle
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 4:11 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Though Shorty has a proven track record as a liar, and he is a Lad after all, but I am inclined to believe his account, simply because it is so detailed, but I hope to get independent verification from Pastor Frank.

It may be that the police are just trying to stop Shorty stirring up trouble, as clearly things got quite heated, and with two groups involved it could have blown up into something more serious. Taking his phone off him sounds like a smart move by the police, as it hurts his scamming and means he has to return to them.

I just can't believe he has told the police this convoluted and daft story. This could get better as some new twists are under consideration. I feel obligated to render him all the assistance I can.

_________________
Fake sites killed 1 x Australia 9 x United Kingdom 3 x 168 X Closed lad accounts Easter Egg 2011
Pith Helmet - the 'Asparagus Kid' - Accra to Lome - You Must surly Die in The Name Of Jesus Christ
Pith Helmet - Steve - Lagos to Accra
Pith Helmet - Frank - Lagos to Cotonou - co-bait with the vampire
Pith Helmet - Shorty - Lagos to Cotonou - My Agro Base farming where i rearing chicken and other animals was set ablazed overnight and we do not know who is actual behinde all these evils! -
I and my crew was locked up for 3 good days….They wanted to charge us to court but later we are fined an huge amount of money…I asked them why did they arrest the men, they started laughing and saying all sorts mockering words! -
…because now, am left with nothing and remember i told you my Guy (Joe) gave up earlier this morning
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GomerPyle
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 5:52 am Reply with quoteBack to top

From Mr G0mer to Shorty

Quote:
OLUWOLE

IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YOU ARE WANTING TO KEEP LUDMILLAS FORTUNE ALL TO URSELF AND I CANNOT TRUST ANYONE LOCAL NOW SO I BRING IN MORE MUSSEL GUY FROM GHANA

THEY WILL ARRIVE MURLA MUHAMMED 7.45 PM WEDNESDAY AND WHEN I MET UP WITH THEM WE WILL COME LOOKING FOR U TWO AND DI MONI

THESE TWO ARE VERY BAD PERSONS AND WILL SOON GET TO BOTTOM OF THIS MATTER.

U BEEN WARNED. U GO SEE THEM OR THEY GO FIND U

ONE LUV - OLATUNJI - CHAIRMAN DI G0MERBOYZ


I'm going out for the day, now that I've done all the stirring I can think of. Evil or Very Mad

_________________
Fake sites killed 1 x Australia 9 x United Kingdom 3 x 168 X Closed lad accounts Easter Egg 2011
Pith Helmet - the 'Asparagus Kid' - Accra to Lome - You Must surly Die in The Name Of Jesus Christ
Pith Helmet - Steve - Lagos to Accra
Pith Helmet - Frank - Lagos to Cotonou - co-bait with the vampire
Pith Helmet - Shorty - Lagos to Cotonou - My Agro Base farming where i rearing chicken and other animals was set ablazed overnight and we do not know who is actual behinde all these evils! -
I and my crew was locked up for 3 good days….They wanted to charge us to court but later we are fined an huge amount of money…I asked them why did they arrest the men, they started laughing and saying all sorts mockering words! -
…because now, am left with nothing and remember i told you my Guy (Joe) gave up earlier this morning
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Pastor Frank
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 1:12 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

GomerPyle wrote:
but I hope to get independent verification from Pastor Frank.


I'm still working on it, I received a reply, but not enough detail to verify the version provided by Shorty. I have another email in the tubes that will hopefully shed more light.

_________________
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"Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect." -Emerson
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GomerPyle
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 9:27 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Please excuse the expression but whilst I have been away today, Shorty appears to have had a literary orgasm in Ludmi||a's mail box. Five in total - all in his own inimitable style of fervent hysteria with plan and counter plan.

The only disappointment is that there is no mention of police, executions jail terms or torture, so now I have a slightly uneasy feeling over Shorty's previous claims. As I would hate to be outwitted by a half wit I won't make any claims over his supposed arrest unless Pastor Frank can corroborate what Shorty says. It rings true, but he is an idiot and pathological liar, as all Lads are, so I'll await the jury on that.

Shorty's five mails in order

Quote:
Dear Luddy,

Am very glad to hear from you! This is wonderful! and very surprising!

Well, let me warned you very well. African Menm are much dangerous and they have so you have to do very careful!
I have not sent anyone to do Atm Card Business with you so do not mind him ok!
Please and please i beg of you, do not do any buiness with this Mr. XXXXXX! He is only a freak!
If you try to do any business with him, you will find yourself to be blame later!

Again. do not be afraid, Olatunji's case is been taken up and there is no need to be be worried.
Now, could you send me the address of the hotel or camp where you are now???
Kindly do that asap. And do not tell anyone about the Atm card, only tell them you are for a Model Show thats all.

Bruce.


Quote:
Again,

Which of these people standing is Mr. XXXXXX??? Is he the short man standing in the middle of the 2 ladies. Please kindly specify this!
This Mr. XXXXXX is not a nice man, he only want to get you drunk and swindle away with your money and valuables.
Mind you, i haven't sent him do any card for you or me. All these people are like Olatunji. So get back to me with the address of the place and room number. Do not let him know am coming there to meet you ok!

Awaiting your urgent response,

Bruce.


Quote:
Dear Luddy,

Thank God! am very glad to inform you that the case had been settle and the truth of the matter had been confirmed! I want you and Mr XXXXXX take another picture for me ok!
Do not be worry, no police is looking for you! Olatunji will be arrested and i want nyou to take naother picture with XXXXXX and make sure you are standing with him on his side!

Furthermore, this XXXXXX of a person is a very bad man, so do not collect drinks, food or anything eatable from them, ok?
These are special advice from the police commandant to you. They are after all you money and properties, thats thier plan! They are as worst as Olatunji. So where is 5imba Safari, how could you follow somebody you don't know to somewhere??? Ihaven't i told you about africa? Didn't i warned you to stay away from Strangers?
Now, the people will get you drunked and poison you if you stay there more times.


They lied to you that you are in 5imba Safari camp in Northern Nigeria, its all lies!!!
Now, make sure you ordered for what you drink or eat by yourself and do not take any drink or food from them.


Again, try to confirm from the hotel management, tell them to write the Hotel address for you and send it to me and do not let XXXXXX knows about these.
Again, pack you security box and other lugages and pick a good taxi to this address to meet.

Adress: Tell Taxi driver you are going to: MR BIGGS AKOWONJO.
AKOWONJO is a small city in ALIMOSHO LOCAL GOVERNMENT OF LAGOS STATE.
The fast food joint (MR BIGGS) is situated along EGBEDA ROAD, AKOWONJO.

Once the Driver could Locate "ALIMOSHO LOCAL GOVERNMENT AREA" he will asked from people and they will tell him how to locate MR BIGGS, its situated along EGBEAD AKOWONJO ROAD, BENSTER BUS STOP, AKOWONJO, LAGOS, besides OMAC PETROLEUM STATION.
So when you get there go inside the eatry and wait me there and make sure you call me as soon as you gets there and i will rush down there to meet you and do not let XXXXXX nor his family knows about this but if incase you need a mp of this, i will arrange a map for you ok! so you can give it to the driver ok? And do not make the journey at night ok! Make it during the daytime ok??

Get back to me now, And remember what in cotonou, so be WISE!!!

Bruce.


Quote:
Dear Ludmilla,

I am been waiting for your urgent response and why haven't you replied me? Hope there is no problem with you overthere.
You know ma your instructor, so you must believd me that you haven't find the best place to relax.
You must everything to leave that environment with immediate effect! All the Bastard XXXXXX is over your belongings and please and please and please, do not discuss any Business with the full. Or did you know him before? And for how many times would i have to warned you against all these rubbish?

This is africa and if care is not taken, you will find yourself to be blamed. I have been into all sorts of troubles, try to save you but you never do me a proud.
Just pack your things and get a Taxi, just tell the driver you are going to this address:
TELL HIM TO LOCATE "IKEJA", when he locate Ikeja, definately, he is going to locate MR BIGGS ON AKOWONJO EGBEDA ROAD BESIDE OMAC PETROL STATION.
Just tell him thats the place you are going to and keep calling my phone as soon as you are on the Taxi and like, i may asked you to give him the phone and i would direct him on how you gonna get to the place.

Make sure you do that tomorrow (TUESDAY) ok! I will be expecting your mail and make the journey as early as possible. You are 100% saved ok?

Bruce.


Quote:
Here is the picture of where am talking about.
Again, mind what you eat my dear, they may plan with the severs to poison your drink/food. So do not drink alcohol till you depart from that place because they may be planing to drug you and went away with you belongings.

Becareful!


So Shorty wants Ludmi||a to relocate from her luxurious lounger by the swimming pool at 5Imba's, sipping Pimms and getting oiled by a variety of flunkies for the delights of an urban greasy spoon diner. Shorty knows how to woo a gal. This is the photo he sent, so Ludmi||a can' miss it.

Image

It's even named after one of the UK's most notorious robbers. Laughing

Ya gotta just love Shorty. When he goes to the barber's and says short on top, that's not a hairstyle. Very Happy

_________________
Fake sites killed 1 x Australia 9 x United Kingdom 3 x 168 X Closed lad accounts Easter Egg 2011
Pith Helmet - the 'Asparagus Kid' - Accra to Lome - You Must surly Die in The Name Of Jesus Christ
Pith Helmet - Steve - Lagos to Accra
Pith Helmet - Frank - Lagos to Cotonou - co-bait with the vampire
Pith Helmet - Shorty - Lagos to Cotonou - My Agro Base farming where i rearing chicken and other animals was set ablazed overnight and we do not know who is actual behinde all these evils! -
I and my crew was locked up for 3 good days….They wanted to charge us to court but later we are fined an huge amount of money…I asked them why did they arrest the men, they started laughing and saying all sorts mockering words! -
…because now, am left with nothing and remember i told you my Guy (Joe) gave up earlier this morning
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Pastor Frank
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Posts: 11432
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 7:13 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I received a reply from Sister Mary that has a detail in it that may confirm the arrest. I place it here for peer review.

Gomers Lad said...

Quote:
On getting to the place with 3 of my boys,


In my second letter to my pet I only mention a single "hacker" and was looking for arrest information on him.

Quote:
letter saying that this hacker went to your Uncle's house to look for the package that had the banner and the money. This same man now is sending threats because he claims he was arrested at your Uncles house. What can you tell me about this.


In her reply she mentions a group of boys.... Here is the entire letter.

Quote:
Dearest in Christ,

My Uncle told me that he assested group of
boys
they are under police detention up to date ,they came to his
house asking him to bring some money,in the process of looking
for the money,he contacted police to get they arrested,so i dont
know if those boys are they people doing this,my uncle said that you
should send him the email these boys sent you.

Are you sure that this information you given is fact?.

Meanwhile how do they boys get to know Bishop Email,infact i dont understand this?my uncle gave Bishop account number to pay in the funds for strating of the church, Bishop said he perfer to send banner and funds together.

Please Fr. juan inorder to save my uncle`s life,please pay the funds to account number and send the banner through courier service if you are sincerely on your comment,besides you have heared what is happening now.

Mrs.Mary XX

_________________
"Father Juan are sure that you are man of God,because your behaviors showed you as unbeliever" -Mary R

"Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect." -Emerson
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Pastor Frank
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 12:31 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I called my lad and asked for details of the arrest.. here is the audio. (We were cut off a bit early, I will call again for more details.)

Click

Edit: At one point he sounds just like Christopher Walken. Laughing

_________________
"Father Juan are sure that you are man of God,because your behaviors showed you as unbeliever" -Mary R

"Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect." -Emerson
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Harry Pianis
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Joined: 09 Jul 2008
Posts: 216
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 2:21 am Reply with quoteBack to top

There's a problem with the article :
Quote:
Local police are hunting two suspects in the brutal slaying of a local businessman - Mr Gomer. Commander Morris Owuso of the Anti Gang Unit states that Mr Gomer has suffered a serious stab wound to the abdmen but is expected to recover fully


Mr. Gomer died but is still alive in the hospital Confused

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GomerPyle
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Joined: 04 Jan 2007
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 8:18 am Reply with quoteBack to top

@ Harry Pianis - I am a little slapdash with my baiting - so bite me. Laughing

Shorty wasn't fooled and put it down to the evil work of Mr G0mer, That's the thing about Shorty, whenever I foul up, he immediately works out my cover story for me. Shocked

Many thanks to Pastor Frank for providing his Lads for me to use. Without them it wouldn't have happened and they were clearly in a heightened stae of consternation from his baiting antics with them, so we'll both be wearing some shiny badges. His corroboration of what happened was invaluable, as I was on the point of writing Shorty's account of what happened off as lies.

Next step. I have the address of the real Mr XXXX mentioned in previous mails, so I'll be sending him that way. Shorty has a very lurid and active imagination, and having Mr XXX and the dreaded Mr G0mer (who could always be one and the same) involved, more police involvement is not out of the question.

I'm not up to date with Shorty's mails yet, as I do try to lead a life sometimes, but as soon as I know what he's doing, his butt will be booted into the amrs of Mr XXXX. Twisted Evil

_________________
Fake sites killed 1 x Australia 9 x United Kingdom 3 x 168 X Closed lad accounts Easter Egg 2011
Pith Helmet - the 'Asparagus Kid' - Accra to Lome - You Must surly Die in The Name Of Jesus Christ
Pith Helmet - Steve - Lagos to Accra
Pith Helmet - Frank - Lagos to Cotonou - co-bait with the vampire
Pith Helmet - Shorty - Lagos to Cotonou - My Agro Base farming where i rearing chicken and other animals was set ablazed overnight and we do not know who is actual behinde all these evils! -
I and my crew was locked up for 3 good days….They wanted to charge us to court but later we are fined an huge amount of money…I asked them why did they arrest the men, they started laughing and saying all sorts mockering words! -
…because now, am left with nothing and remember i told you my Guy (Joe) gave up earlier this morning
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GomerPyle
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 8:46 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Shorty is like a overactive Irish Wofhound puppy with an obsession and rabid imagination

Subsequent mails from Shorty to Ludmilla

Quote:
Ludmi||a!!! Where are you and what going on??? I sent you several messages and you are yet to reply!
Could you tell me where you are now??? Can you send me the following informations............
1: Hotel Name and Full address
2:your hotel room number.

So i could you locate you or you come down to the address i gave you .
You have to act fast because you are in danger!!!

Bruce


Quote:
Dear Luddy,

You have to leave that premises with immediately or send me the full
address and your room number, i will come there to get you ok. Do not
what happened to you in cotonou repreat itself again!l


Quote:
Luddy,

Am not at peace at all! I haven't heard from you and hoe nothing is wrong!
I knew this XXXXXX's people had held you hostage again like Olatunji! You know i warned you about all these things! I told you this is Africa and peoeple are so wicked here!
Hope they didn't hurt you? Call me and let meknow whats going my dear, because am not at rest at all my Heart was shaking now!

Tell me where you are can get the police, i now have a police friend who is ready to assist.
Listen, the short standing between the 2 yellow ladies was the man we met at the address you gave to me and he claimed to be Mr XXXXXX on the first and later denied! He was the man that arrested i and my boys! You can explained to the Hotel Management if these people seems to be fraudsters ok! I know they are , you just have to leave that place. The place wasn't Northern Nigeria, they only lied to you because they knew you are a stranger and you know no where here.So the management will get the police to arrest these criminals

Tell what they have done to you and let me know where you are now luddy

Best of love,

Bruce.


Quote:
Luddy,

Tell me the situation of things from your side! I need to know whats going on!
Where are you and whats happening, am afraid because id din't heard from you and do not know where exactly you are and whats going there now!

Try as much as possible and get back me Luddy, am not at rest at all!!!

Bruce.


I'll compose a suitable reply and see what carnage I can create this time. Laughing

_________________
Fake sites killed 1 x Australia 9 x United Kingdom 3 x 168 X Closed lad accounts Easter Egg 2011
Pith Helmet - the 'Asparagus Kid' - Accra to Lome - You Must surly Die in The Name Of Jesus Christ
Pith Helmet - Steve - Lagos to Accra
Pith Helmet - Frank - Lagos to Cotonou - co-bait with the vampire
Pith Helmet - Shorty - Lagos to Cotonou - My Agro Base farming where i rearing chicken and other animals was set ablazed overnight and we do not know who is actual behinde all these evils! -
I and my crew was locked up for 3 good days….They wanted to charge us to court but later we are fined an huge amount of money…I asked them why did they arrest the men, they started laughing and saying all sorts mockering words! -
…because now, am left with nothing and remember i told you my Guy (Joe) gave up earlier this morning
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GomerPyle
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Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 8875
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 1:02 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I don't think I could unbait Shorty if I tried. he is now like a boy scout knocking on doors around Lagos, and it's just a matter of me providing one with a lot of armed gang members to greet him. Sooner or later I'll get the right one - I promise.

So - this is what I've sent from Ludmi||a to Shorty Very Happy

Quote:
Subject:I know where I am

Hi Mr Bruce

I don't know what is happening with you. Have you escape from police already.

I was at this place in North, or that is what they tell me, with swimming pool and it was all so very nice. I have insist with them that I am to come back to Lagos and this they have done. I am not so sure which one is Mr XXXXXX person, or even if he is real Mr G0mer either. I think maybe Mr XXXXXX is Mr G0mer and that man I am stabbed is just a hoodlum man he uses.

I am with this person Mr XXXXXX XXXXXXX at
No 14 XXXXX Road, Isolo, Lagos as I seen that on papers he has here, but it is probably most dangerous place from what you say and I know since you raided house there is much security going on.

I don't think you can risk making another raid after Mr Gomer as he is most dangerous criminal with many crimes he is responsible for, and I know he has place full of ATM cards it is very strange.

I don't know what to do as I am stranger here and I am sure it is not safe to go out and if they catch me trying to do so I am not sure what will happen to me.

You have done so very much for me and still I am not able to manage with holiday which is what I cam e for here. Do you know any nice place which is also safe for girl.

If you say you want to speak with Mr XXXXXX over card you have for Ludmilla then I know he will then own up to who he is and where I am being held. I know you are doing all this to find me and it is not easy in this new strange place to me.

I will see if I can get my fone back from these people so I can talk to you again. Is this okay.


BiBi Luddi


Will Shorty arrange a police raid ? - get arrested again ? or arrange for the building to be assaulted by his fellow UNILAG boys ? I haven't a clue, much like Shorty.

_________________
Fake sites killed 1 x Australia 9 x United Kingdom 3 x 168 X Closed lad accounts Easter Egg 2011
Pith Helmet - the 'Asparagus Kid' - Accra to Lome - You Must surly Die in The Name Of Jesus Christ
Pith Helmet - Steve - Lagos to Accra
Pith Helmet - Frank - Lagos to Cotonou - co-bait with the vampire
Pith Helmet - Shorty - Lagos to Cotonou - My Agro Base farming where i rearing chicken and other animals was set ablazed overnight and we do not know who is actual behinde all these evils! -
I and my crew was locked up for 3 good days….They wanted to charge us to court but later we are fined an huge amount of money…I asked them why did they arrest the men, they started laughing and saying all sorts mockering words! -
…because now, am left with nothing and remember i told you my Guy (Joe) gave up earlier this morning
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GomerPyle
Pervert Bastard


Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 8875
Location: Wherever I lay my hat


PostPosted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 5:48 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Please be silent - Shorty's trying to think Laughing

Just in from a very shirty Shorty.

Quote:
Dear Luddy,

Am very glad to hear from you again! By the way, are you sure youve' gotten the correct address???
Again, the people you are with now is not Mr G0mer, He is Mr XXXXXX conglomerates. Now, why did they collected your phone from you? For what cause did they have to do that???.

Furthermore, i haven't sent anyone to you for any fucking card nor Transaction ok!
Just make sure you survey the environment very well, why i go on with further investigations.

Get back to me asap,

Bruce.


"conglomerates" ???? - don't ask me what he means by this.

Inspector Clousseau is investigating. Cool

He hasn't wondered how it is Ldmi||a is able to use her e-mail - DOHHHHHHH !!!!!!! Laughing

_________________
Fake sites killed 1 x Australia 9 x United Kingdom 3 x 168 X Closed lad accounts Easter Egg 2011
Pith Helmet - the 'Asparagus Kid' - Accra to Lome - You Must surly Die in The Name Of Jesus Christ
Pith Helmet - Steve - Lagos to Accra
Pith Helmet - Frank - Lagos to Cotonou - co-bait with the vampire
Pith Helmet - Shorty - Lagos to Cotonou - My Agro Base farming where i rearing chicken and other animals was set ablazed overnight and we do not know who is actual behinde all these evils! -
I and my crew was locked up for 3 good days….They wanted to charge us to court but later we are fined an huge amount of money…I asked them why did they arrest the men, they started laughing and saying all sorts mockering words! -
…because now, am left with nothing and remember i told you my Guy (Joe) gave up earlier this morning
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Red
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Joined: 25 May 2007
Posts: 2543
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 11, 2008 11:26 am Reply with quoteBack to top

That's hilarious GP, you've really just wound him up and let him go. His whole life seems to be consumed by this bait, a truly excellent result.

beers!

Send him 55C and rest assured we'll accommodate him Wink

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GomerPyle
Pervert Bastard


Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 8875
Location: Wherever I lay my hat


PostPosted: Thu Sep 11, 2008 12:45 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I can't believe it. More and more mails in from my own Little Raging Bull - Shorty.

I am beginning to wonder if his story about his friend getting shot was true LOL_sign not that I'm ever going to be able to confirm it, so I'll always have to keep it as a tantalising possibility.

The last mail of his current barrage is a marvellous tale of mishap and woe - he's truly pouring his heart out to Ludmi||a over the effort, cost and damage he has suffered over the bait, and what greater satisfaction can I obtain ?

I'm not sure what the problem is about the address I gave him. Whether or not it exists or if Shorty just can't drag his pained body to any more places I don't know. I think I need to get into phone contact with him as Ludmi||a and really put pressure on him, and if I can get some kind of proof of this bullet wound, all my dreams will come true.

Pastor Frank has information that though Shorty is not under arrest, his case is under consideration for prosecution, so his legal problems are not over yet. Effectivel he is out on bail, it appears. Laughing

If you don't have time to read all of Shorty's demented ramblings the last one is the one to read.

Quote:
Well,

I have been freed and my cellphone had been released to me.But, you said you saw the address on a paper, that hasn't sound good yet! I do not know maybe thats the place you are now! Seeing an address on a paper hasn't making any sense yet.

All we needed as a proof now is to get the main address of where those guys camped you! So do not tell me the place is a nice place ok! You are in danger and you keep telling you find a nice place??? Do you know the consequence's of what you ve' just said? You are admist of Evil men and you said you find good place. What if they killed you overnight??

See Luddy, you caused all these and i have warned you even before leave Paris,i do mean you took to my instructions you wouldn't have gotten yourself into all these mess you find yourself now! Now, you
have to be very careful, do not let them have access to you security Box, all they are after is that sum you having with you! And you have to be more than careful.
Again, do not discuss any Atm Card with anyone, i haven't send anyone to you for any Atm Card Deal! If you do, you i will find yourself to be blamed at the end of the day!

Again I am not going to discuss any Atm Card with him because i do not know him, he is only a stranger and he and his family are trying to steal from you! So be careful!
Well, i there are many nice places for a western Lady like you but i can only do that for you when we meet and not with these thieves!
Even, i can't mention the places on here but when you find me, you will know life is sweet. I have planned to take you many exotic places in Nigeria but these thieves had held you hostage. And what are they doing with you phone??? why must they take your phone from you, all these are total rubbish!

Get your phone and make you sure you take more pictures if you can and try and open your eyes more wide and get me good informations concerning the area.

(1) Is the place an Hotel or public house/building??
(2) Try and get the correct address/
(3) Get the room number if the place is an hotel
(4) Get the full name of the hotel if in case is an hotel.
(5) Get me the stupid man's telephone number fast!
I can only carryout an investigation with all these.
Am very keen to hear from you with all these.

Bruce


Quote:
Subject: GIVE ME YOUR TELEPHONE!!! GIVE ME YOUR TELEPHONE!!! GIVE ME YOUR TELEPHONE!!! GIVE ME YOUR TELEPHONE!!! GIVE ME YOUR TELEPHONE!!! GIVE ME YOUR TELEPHONE!!!

Hi Ludmilla,

I want you to understand that the address you saw on the paper, is just a freak! They only wrote it there intentionally because they knew you will see and give it to me, so i will start giving myself stresses looking for you at the address.

They are all Evil men, he is not Mr.0omer, he is only a fucking Igbo guy but all i know is that, he will soon fail!
Get more evidence and study the area very well, take note of sign boards or bill boards in the area, from there you can know the area where you are ok! You can do as if you taking a stroll, you will get what you looking for or find someone on the street to right the full address of the address area for you!

Again if incase these people refuses to let you go, tell them you are going to informed the police. Lie to them that you have police contacts here in Nigeria, tell them if they won't let you go, you will informed the police about all they have done to you! But you have to speak this in BODENESS and do not be afraid ok? Because this is the
only solution to let you out of their cage now! You will see they will runing away and leave you alone.

Just tell them you will tell the police they kidnapped you ok? You have to safe yourself with words from your mouth, i don't know why you are so selfish! ACT LIKE A WESTERN GIRL AND STOP DULLING YOURSEFL!!!
Because these people are very Dangerous even right from their tribe, they are the most wicked tribe in Nigeria and they all eat human flesh as meat! So if care is not taken, they will eat you and swindle away with all your money and valuables............... So you must do all
these i requested you.

THE MOST IMPORTANT: YOU HAVE TO SEND ME YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER! THIS ARE THINGS THAT CAN MAKE ME HELP YOU OUT AND CALL YOU. BECAUSE IF I HAVE YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER NOW, I CAN BE CALLING THEN IF YOU ARE IN THE WRONG PART, I CAN TELL YOU TO GIVE THE PHONE TO SOMEONE ON THE STREET WHO UNDERSTAND MY LANGUAGE, AND I WILL ASKED HIM/HER WHICH PARTICULAR AREA YOU ARE THERE AND THE PERSON WILL TELL ME AND I CAN DRIVE DOWN TO PICK YOU!

SO THE BEST THING NOW IS TO GIVE ME YOUR FULL TELEPOHNE NUMBER BUT IF YOU REFUSED TO DO THAT, THEN YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN! WHENEVER I ORDERED YO TO DO SOMETHING, YOU WON'T DO AND LATER YOU GET INTO TROUBLE AND LOOKING FOR ME TO SAFE YOU, HOW AM I GONNA DO THAT YOUR TELEPHONE NUMEBR? WITH PHONE CALL, I WILL BE ABLE TO LOCATE ANYWHERE YOU ARE IN NIGERIA. SO GIVE ME YOU TELEPHONE NUMBER , I WILL CAL TO CONFIRMED WHOM HAD KIDNAPPED YOU!

GIVE ME YOUR TELEPHONE!!!
GIVE ME YOUR TELEPHONE!!!
GIVE ME YOUR TELEPHONE!!!
GIVE ME YOUR TELEPHONE!!!
GIVE ME YOUR TELEPHONE!!!
GIVE ME YOUR TELEPHONE!!!
GIVE ME YOUR TELEPHONE!!!
GIVE ME YOUR TELEPHONE!!!
GIVE ME YOUR TELEPHONE!!!
GIVE ME YOUR TELEPHONE!!!
GIVE ME YOUR TELEPHONE!!!

(is he trying to tell me something ? Laughing)

Bruce


This is the good one LOL_sign

Quote:
Subject: Put senses into yourself and be smart!!!

Listen,

Am sick and tired of all your mistakes, you are only in Mr. XXXXXX's house to collect your security box, why do you have to follow him to places you don't know for God sake???
This is Africa, too many dangerous things happened here and i prayed you end up well.
God sees ve' tried my best possible for you, right from Cotonou till this stage! You are to overzealousness, thats why you are getting yourself involved in all these messes!

You just have to talk sense into yourself and be smart! How could you attend to somebody you don't know! Now, you do not know where you have been taken to and they lied to you that you are in Northern Nigeria, again, you are now in Lagos with wrong address which cannot never be found? No name of hotel and adresses, no room number! Why all these luddy??? whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

I have spent much money looking for you but thats not the issue, to get you and make sure you saved is what am after! You got me into much problems, Mum was heavily sicked and i have to be around in Hospital alongside with my Aunt and other relatives and still looking for you also, how many places do i have to divide myself into???

When you escaped from tunji, you shouldn't have gone to XXXXXX's house, you should requested for my address and come down there and we both go to XXXXXX's place but due to your overzealousness, look at what you ve' gotten yourself into!
Your parents were there in Europe and they never knew whats happening to you down here now! Didn't i warned you to book Lagos Ticket? you insisted on going to Cotonou as if you been there before!
I sold my TOYOTA CAMRY Car just because of you, It broke down my way back from Cotonou when insearch of you and since i can afford the money to fix, so i have to put it off! I did all these for you and now, i seems to me that you are not appreciative by treating the way
you did!

Why did you seek my address and board Taxi to my place so we both look for XXXXXX instead of going there alone!
With God and I on your side, you are 100% saved because i do not know the kind of help i will still needed from you tomorrow, so one need to be nice and my parents had taught me how to be nice and humble
to my fellow humanbeing. So i must confessed to you, you ve' real costed me much pain, my Boy Joe was shot in Cotonou just because of your case, with all these, am not the best of myself and you not even showing any appreciation to impress instead, you like to do things in
your own way and at the end of the end, you get into trouble which you cannot even solve yourself.

I have told you am only a Guy of 24yrs of age very younger than my age and very short, (stop saying that - every time he says that I wet myself) I would have send you my picture but its because of Tunji and i would like him to see that in your email address because you are very careless for allow Olatunji XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Am not happy every of your mistakes and there are more important things i should be doing but its not possible for me to leave and i will never do but will still be doing my best possible to make sure you are saved!

Get back to me with your telephone number now and do you have a Laptop computer with you there???

Regards,


Bruce.


He's still there for Ludmi||a. [swoon]My Hero[/swoon]

_________________
Fake sites killed 1 x Australia 9 x United Kingdom 3 x 168 X Closed lad accounts Easter Egg 2011
Pith Helmet - the 'Asparagus Kid' - Accra to Lome - You Must surly Die in The Name Of Jesus Christ
Pith Helmet - Steve - Lagos to Accra
Pith Helmet - Frank - Lagos to Cotonou - co-bait with the vampire
Pith Helmet - Shorty - Lagos to Cotonou - My Agro Base farming where i rearing chicken and other animals was set ablazed overnight and we do not know who is actual behinde all these evils! -
I and my crew was locked up for 3 good days….They wanted to charge us to court but later we are fined an huge amount of money…I asked them why did they arrest the men, they started laughing and saying all sorts mockering words! -
…because now, am left with nothing and remember i told you my Guy (Joe) gave up earlier this morning
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SlapHappy
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Joined: 15 May 2006
Posts: 9612
Location: Floating up and down with happiness.


PostPosted: Thu Sep 11, 2008 1:23 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
If you don't have time to read all of Shorty's demented ramblings
Gomer, how could we NOT have time? Shorty is a freak of nature. Laughing

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writeon
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 16 Mar 2007
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 11, 2008 3:25 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Gomer, it's great watching a master in full flow. Brilliant work, well done.

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GomerPyle
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Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 8875
Location: Wherever I lay my hat


PostPosted: Thu Sep 11, 2008 6:50 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Ohhhh no

Shorty reported me to the CIA

http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid1564562170/bctid1767973077

Fonejacker's back on TV in the UK next week Very Happy

_________________
Fake sites killed 1 x Australia 9 x United Kingdom 3 x 168 X Closed lad accounts Easter Egg 2011
Pith Helmet - the 'Asparagus Kid' - Accra to Lome - You Must surly Die in The Name Of Jesus Christ
Pith Helmet - Steve - Lagos to Accra
Pith Helmet - Frank - Lagos to Cotonou - co-bait with the vampire
Pith Helmet - Shorty - Lagos to Cotonou - My Agro Base farming where i rearing chicken and other animals was set ablazed overnight and we do not know who is actual behinde all these evils! -
I and my crew was locked up for 3 good days….They wanted to charge us to court but later we are fined an huge amount of money…I asked them why did they arrest the men, they started laughing and saying all sorts mockering words! -
…because now, am left with nothing and remember i told you my Guy (Joe) gave up earlier this morning
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drew.p.coque
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 8:01 am Reply with quoteBack to top

i`m a big fan of fonejacker.

"Terry Tibbs- Talk to me! "

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GomerPyle
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Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 8875
Location: Wherever I lay my hat


PostPosted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 1:32 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Well - with a lot of devious scheming and the addition of a new character things should become exciting over the weekend.

Unknown to Shorty he has provided some incriminating evidence that could go against him at trial. He has also sent a psychopathic cultist a very abusive mail and demanded to meet him at the address he is banned from visiting.

The incriminating evidence shows that he and 'Psycho' are working hand in hand.

Shorty has been demanding a phone number of the person at the other address holding her hostage, so I'll give him the number of 'Psycho' though, of course, he doesn't know that they aren't the best of friends yet.

So we have Shorty, who has to draw up a master plan to clear his bowels in the morning, Psycho who makes Ivan the Terrible look like a vicar, two addresses, an unwitting credit card scammer and a house full of Pastors designing and making banners for a living, not to mention the Keystone Cops and a Nigerian judge - and not forgetting Ludmilla, the Paris Hilton lookalike model on the run from an oversexed Russian crime boss.

I hope to get the timing right so that I can call Shorty on Sunday and I'll see if Dan wants to put the call on air.

_________________
Fake sites killed 1 x Australia 9 x United Kingdom 3 x 168 X Closed lad accounts Easter Egg 2011
Pith Helmet - the 'Asparagus Kid' - Accra to Lome - You Must surly Die in The Name Of Jesus Christ
Pith Helmet - Steve - Lagos to Accra
Pith Helmet - Frank - Lagos to Cotonou - co-bait with the vampire
Pith Helmet - Shorty - Lagos to Cotonou - My Agro Base farming where i rearing chicken and other animals was set ablazed overnight and we do not know who is actual behinde all these evils! -
I and my crew was locked up for 3 good days….They wanted to charge us to court but later we are fined an huge amount of money…I asked them why did they arrest the men, they started laughing and saying all sorts mockering words! -
…because now, am left with nothing and remember i told you my Guy (Joe) gave up earlier this morning
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