Google chat and Pickles the dog..Updated 22/8

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Posted: Sat Aug 02, 2008 11:37 am

This is an ongoing bait but I thought I'd publish the Google chat anyway. I've never been big on chatting with lads but I'm now getting into it. You have to think on your feet and whilst they are chatting with you they are not causing havoc elsewhere.

Anyway, the back story is that I sent a whole shed load of lads an ASEM saying that I had received their check and what do I do next. This lad (hillsd0wn human resources) was pushing me towards the Moneygramme (as he likes to call it) office yesterday, it being Friday and all and he clearly wanted his spends for the weekend.

The thing that made me laugh about this whole thing was that whilst he was trying to inject a sense of urgency into it he wasted nearly three hours of his time coercing me to the MG office in Baker Street, London, which he kindly sourced for me along with the nearest tube station info. as well....

Quote:

Chat with humanresources hillsdown

12:30 PM humanresources: hi desmond?
did you get my email?
Desmond: HI THERE
12:32 PM humanresources: how soon can you get it done ?
Desmond: LATER THIS AFTERNOON
humanresources: ok
12:33 PM you have the information right?
NAME: CARABAJAL CHRISTINE
ADDRESS: 717 Lancaster Avenue,
CITY: Reading,
STATE: PA
ZIP-CODE: 19607
Deatials required of you
Scanned receipt of the transaction
SENDER NAME and Address
RECEIVER NAME and Address
AMOUNT SENT
transfer Charges
8 DIGIT REF NUMBER
Desmond: OK
12:34 PM humanresources: how long should i wait before you can get the details to me?
Desmond: DEPENDS HOW LONG IT TAKES TO GET BACK FROM BAKER STREET
12:35 PM humanresources: ok,in how many minutes would you be leaving guess it's 12:40pm there
12:37 PM Desmond: I HAVE SOME THINGS TO DO FIRST AT HOME. THEN I HAVE TO DO SOME SHOPPING SO WHO KNOWS
humanresources: i am counting in you,no more problems
Desmond: CATCH YOU LATER
humanresources: i need your assistance,i want you to have it sent sooner ok
12:38 PM Desmond: WHAT'S YOUR HURRY? YOU NEED TO BE PATIENT OKAY
12:39 PM humanresources: i know Desmond but it ibeen a long way from the 21st,yo know
12:40 PM Desmond: SOMETIMES THESE THINGS TAKE TIME.
humanresources: it should have been done sealed and we should have moved on to the next job
i understand
12:41 PM Desmond: IM SURE YOU HAVE OTHER JOBS TO KEEP YOU BUSY. I ONLY HAVE THIS ONE
humanresources: just need you to have it done today
yes but you are part of my job and i have you to receive another payment
12:43 PM Desmond: HOW MUCH IS IT FOR?
humanresources: you are good and a responsible person to deal with
12:44 PM 6000pounds,and 4500pounds depends on how you can speed up this transaction and have it closed so it can be issued ti you next tuesday
12:45 PM Desmond: WHY CAN'T YOU ISSUE IT TO ME NOW AS YOU SAY i'M A GOOD AND RESPONSIBLE PERSON
humanresources: one at a time policies
with time you get more
12:46 PM can i get a phone number so i can ring you?
it's much easier
12:48 PM can you have this done by 3pm your time?
Desmond: SO YOU ONLY CASH ONE CHECK AT A TIME. THAT DOES NOT SOUND VERY EFFICIENT BUSINESS TO ME. NO WONDER IT TAKES SO LONG FOR YOU TO FINISH TRANSACTIONS.
12:49 PM humanresources: not that,at first one at a time but when we earn the trust of our agent then we send them as much as 3weekly
that is the position you are heading
12:50 PM after this and the next then you are eligible and my right hand man,it lika a chain tree you know
12:51 PM can you have it done,scaneed and mailed by 3pm your time
Desmond: YOU SAID YOU ALREADY TRUSTED ME
12:52 PM humanresources: yes you mode of attending to issues and calmness
12:53 PM Desmond: THANK YOU
12:54 PM humanresources: you are welcome,can you have it done,scaneed and mailed by 3pm your time
12:56 PM Desmond: NOT POSSIBLE I'M AFRAID. AS I SAID. I HAVE THINGS TO DO FIRST. I HAVE AN OPTICIANS APPOINTMENT AT PM SO WON'T BE ABLE TO GET TO BAKER STREET UNTIL AT LEAST 4PM
12:57 PM humanresources: ok,how much is with you now?
12:59 PM Desmond: THE AMOUNT AFTER DEDUCTING MY 10% COMMISSION. I HAD IT WRITTEN DOWN, BUT I'VE LOST THE PIECE OF PAPER. THAT IS WHY I'M GOING TO THE OPTITIANS, BECAUSE MY EYESITE ISN'T WHAT IT SHOULD BE.
1:00 PM humanresources: dont yo have the money with you?
Desmond: YES. ITS UNDER MY BED IN A TRUNK BOX ALONG WITH MY SIGNED PHOTO OF VERA LYNNE AND OTHER NICK KNACKS
1:02 PM humanresources: ok,it shouldnt take you more than an hour right to do the transaction and get back
it should be7,200usd after deducting your 10% that is 800usd
right
1:03 PM Desmond: YOU FORGOT ABOUT THE $80 YOU PROMISED ME FOR TRAVEL EXPENSES PLUS THE MONEYGRAMME FEES. HOW MUCH WILL THEY BE?
humanresources: yes sorry about that
so it's 7,120usd
minus the maneygram fees
1:04 PM when you get there,it would be calculated for you
i want you to have everything sorted out today,i will appreciate an extra effort
Desmond: WHAT ABOUT THE MONEYGRAMME FEES? HOW MUCH DO I DEDUCT FOR THEM?
1:07 PM humanresources: when you get there,it would be calculated,it have rates as regards the amount,have it paid ok
i want you to have everything sorted out today,i will appreciate an extra effort
1:08 PM Desmond: OK. SO DO I DEDUCT MY 10% AFTER THE MONEYGRAMME CHARGES OR BEFORE THEM?
humanresources: before
1:09 PM just go along with the 71204
7,i2ousd
7120usd
ok
1:10 PM Desmond: YOU MEAN 7120USD NOT 71204 WHICH YOU FIRST SAID RIGHT? BCAUSE I DON'T HAVE THAT AMOUNT OF MONEY
humanresources: yes,was a typing error,5pm your time is a deal right,you should be back
1:11 PM Desmond: WHAT TIME DOES MONEYGRAMME NORMALLY SHUT? I WOULD HATE TO GET ALL THAT WAY AND IT WAS CLOSED.
humanresources: 6pm i guess
1:12 PM you can get there by 4pm
1:14 PM Desmond: NO. I WON'T LEAVE THE OPTICIANS UNTIL AT LEAST 4PM. I THEN HAVE TO GET ACROSS LONDON BY TUBE AND IT WILL BE THE BUSY RUSH HOUR BY THEN.
humanresources: when is your appointment time?
1:15 PM Desmond: SORRY. IT IS AT 3PM. MY PREVIOUS MESSAGE DIDN'T MAKE THAT CLEAR. IT WILL LAST ABOUT ONE HOUR OR SO.
1:17 PM humanresources: can you get to baker street before then,i could pay for your inconviniences,yesterday was the close of the month you know,and it should have been recorded
just need an extra effort from you
1:19 PM Desmond: BUT YOU HAVE ALREADY PAID ME FOR THE TRAVEL EXPENSES.
humanresources: yes,i just want you to have it done ,without excuses,the way i see it,after your appointment,i might be late before you get to the money gram's office
1:20 PM hope you understand
1:22 PM i need you to have it done,my ass is on fire
1:23 PM Desmond: WHAT DO YOU MEAN WITHOUT EXCUSES? WHY WOULD I MAKE EXCUSES?I JUST TOLD YOU MY PLANS FOR THE DAY WHICH I MADE SOME TIME BEFORE YOU EVER CONTACTED ME. ANYWAY, IF THE MONEYGRAMME IS SHUT WHEN I GET THERE IT WILL BE OPEN TOMORROW RIGHT?
1:24 PM humanresources: ok, Desmond,just need you to try
it would be opened tommorrow yes,might not be in the office till monday,and i need to oversee that it is done
1:25 PM Desmond: YOU MEAN YOU WON'T BE IN THE OFFICE UNTIL MONDAY?
1:27 PM humanresources: ok, Desmond,just need you to try
it would be opened tommorrow yes,might not be in the office till monday,and i need to oversee that it is done
1:28 PM Desmond: WELL IF YOU ARE NOT IN THE OFFICE UNTIL MONDAY, IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER IF I SEND IT TODAY, TOMORROW OR MONDAY DOES IT REALLY?
humanresources: i have to make a report by the end of today stating if the payment have ben received
1:29 PM or i answer to memo on monday morning
1:30 PM Desmond: REPORT TO WHO? I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE TOP MAN IN YOUR ORGANIZATION.
humanresources: the organization is run by people not just me
1:31 PM anyway Desmond,you need to start preparing for your appointment,dont want to hold you down ok
Desmond: so you are not the head man then/ what exactly is your position/
humanresources: just make efforts to get to baker street
1:32 PM chief accounting officer
1:34 PM Desmond: DON'T YOUR BOSSES EXPECT YOU TO WORK WEEKENDS WHEN YOU HAVE OUTSTANDING MATTERS LIKE THIS TO DEAL WITH? I KNOW MINE WOULD.
1:36 PM humanresources: as you said earlier,i have more than this issue to attend to
1:39 PM Desmond: SO DOES THAT MEAN YOU CAN WAIT TILL MONDAY AS FAR AS THIS TRANSACTION IS CONCERNED? IF YOU HAVE OTHER MATTERS TO DEAL WITH, I QUITE UNDERSTAND.
humanresources: i need my agent to pick it up,so she has to do that today or tommorrow unfailingly,all is left to you
1:40 PM i wantyou to send it today,so she can pick it up today,you knoew the time difference
1:41 PM Desmond: NO I DON'T KNOW THE TIME DIFFERENCE. WHAT IS IT?
1:42 PM humanresources: it's just morning there so she has the whole of today to pick it up,but you only have 4-5hours maximun to send it
Desmond: WHERE IS YOUR AGENT?
1:43 PM humanresources: Reading, PA
1:44 PM Desmond: IS THAT IN THE UNITED STATE?
humanresources: yes
1:45 PM Desmond: HOW MANY HOURS BEHIND IS SHE?
humanresources: Reading, Pennsylvania
6hrs i guess
1:48 PM Desmond: SO SHE PROBABLY HASN'T GOT OUT OF BED YET THEN OR EVEN HAD HERE BREAKFAST?
humanresources: yes
20 minutes
2:08 PM humanresources: sorry about that
2:10 PM Desmond: THAT'S OK I WAS JUST ABOUT TO LEAVE FOR MY SHOPPING AND OPTICIANS APPOINTMENT SHORTLY.
2:11 PM humanresources: ok
i will be looking forward to your email and the details later today
2:12 PM Desmond: OK. HAVE A NICE AFTERNOON.
humanresources: you too
thank you
Desmond: I FORGOT TO ASK. DO i NEED TO TAKE SOME ID WITH ME?
humanresources: just take it just in case
2:13 PM Desmond: WHAT SORT OF ID? MY PASSPORT HAS EXPIRED SO THAT WILL PROBABLY BE NO GOOD WILL IT?
2:14 PM humanresources: you can take it along
you only need to fill the form,since you are not picking up money as of yet
2:16 PM Desmond: I WOULD HATE TO TAKE MY PASSPORT ONLY FOR THEM TO REFUSE TO MAKE THE TRANSFER.THAT WOULD BE EMBARRASSING.
humanresources: what did you use at the western union office
2:17 PM Desmond: ARE THEY SAME AS MONEYGRAMME? NOT ALL BUSINESSES EMPLOY THE SAME SECURITY CHECKS DO THEY?
2:18 PM humanresources: just take it along,it is almost the same procedures
2:19 PM Desmond: DO I NEED TO THINK OF A TEST QUESTION AND ANSWER LIKE WESTERN UNION USE?
humanresources: yes
2:20 PM Desmond: DO YOU HAVE AN EASY PREFERRED QUESTION AND ANSWER I CAN USE?
humanresources: question:what is your pet's name
answer:kitty
2:21 PM Desmond: I'M ALLERGIC TO CATS. THEY MAKE ME SNEEZE. CAN WE HAVE A DIFFERENT ONE, MAYBE WITH A DOG IN IT. I LIKE DOGS.
2:22 PM humanresources: just pick a name
2:23 PM Desmond: HOW ABOUT QUESTION - IS YOUR DAD'S DOG DEAD? ANSWER - YES. HOW IS THAT?
humanresources: let me know send the test questions and answer to me
ok
2:25 PM Desmond: DOES THE DOG HAVE TO HAVE A PARTICULAR NAME? MY DOG'S CALLED PICKLES BECAUSE HE'S INCONTINENT. DO YOU HAVE A PET MR HILLSDOWN?
humanresources: no,the question you suggested is ok
2:26 PM QUESTION - IS YOUR DAD'S DOG DEAD? ANSWER - YES.
6pm ok
2:28 PM Desmond: SO YOU PERSONALLY DON'T HAVE A PET THEN? PETS ARE GOOD. THEY HELP YOU DISTRESS, APART FROM CATS WHICH CAUSE ME DISTRESS. OK. I WILL USE THE TEST QUESTION - WHO IS THE TOP DOG. ANSWER - PICKLES
THAT SHOULD SORT THE PROBLEM
humanresources: ok
6pm,should be good ok?
2:29 PM i should get the informatino by then
Desmond: I'M JUST OFF TO RETREIVE THE MONEY FROM THE TRUNK BOX UNDER THE BED NOW SO I MAY BE AWAY FOR A COUPLE OF MINUTES.
2:30 PM humanresources: ok
Desmond: BEAR WITH ME.
2:31 PM humanresources: sure
6 minutes
2:38 PM Desmond: I'M BACK NOW. I MANAGED TO GET THE MONEY OUT OF THE TRUNK BOX. SADLY MY DOG PICKLES HAS MADE HIS MARK ON IT IF YOU GET MY DRIFT. YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT I ALSO FOUND IN THE BOX, APART FROM THE SIGNED VERA LYNNE PICTURE? THE PIECE OF PAPER WITH THE AMOUNT ON IT OF $7,1200 THAT I'M SUPPOSED TO SEND TO YOUR AGENT. HOW I DID LAUGH TO MYSELF. I REALLY DO NEED SOME NEW SPECTACLES. HOPEFULLY YOUR AGENT WILL BE OUT OF BED NOW AND HAVING HER BREAKFAST AND READY TO COLLECT THE FUNDS?
2:39 PM humanresources: yes
2:40 PM how far is your place to your doctors cos it getting late you know
did you get the money intact
2:43 PM Desmond: I'M NOT GOING TO THE DOCTORS.APART FROM MY EYES AND A TOUCH OF GOUT, I'M AS FIT AS A FLEA. tHE MONEY IS A BIT WET WITH DOG'S URINE BUT I HAVE PUT IT IN THE MICROWAVE OVEN FOR TWO MINUTES ON MEDIUM WHICH SHOULD DRY IT OUT ENOUGH.
2:44 PM humanresources: ok
so when would you be leaving?
2:47 PM Desmond: I'M JUST GOING NOW, WHEN I FIND MY DOOR KEYS.
2:48 PM humanresources: for your appointment
Desmond: YES.IT ISN'T TOO FAR AWAY. ABOUT TEN MINUTES.
2:49 PM humanresources: ok
after which you'd head to the moneygram office
2:53 PM Desmond: YES. BUT I NEED TO STOP OFF AT TESCOS TO GET SOMETHING FOR MY TEA. THOUGH I SUPPOSE I COULD DO THAT AFTER I'VE BEEN TO MONEYGRAMME AS IT IS LATE NIGHT SHOPPING TILL EIGHT O'CLOCK.
2:54 PM humanresources: thank you
i will be looking forward toyour email
2:57 PM Desmond: I'VE JUST RETREIVED THE MONEY FROM THE MICROWAVE AND I'M HORRIFIED TO FIND THAT SOME OF IT IS SINGED ROUND THE EDGES AND MAY BE NO GOOD. IT ALSO STILL STINKS OF DOG PISS. I'M GOING TO KILL THAT DOG WHEN I GET MY HADS ON IT. ANYWAY I'VE COUNTED THE CHARRED NOTES AND THEY TOTAL $100. WHAT I WILL DO IS DEDUCT THAT FROM MY TRAVEL EXPENSES WHICH MEANS I OWE YOU $20. IS THAT OK?
2:59 PM humanresources: ok desmond ,you need not kill the dog
3:02 PM Desmond: I WASN'T REALLY GOING TO KILL IT, I WAS JUST SPEAKING IN A FIGURE OF SPEECH, I WAS JUST ANNOYED BECAUSE IT HAS NOW MADE ME LATE FOR MY OPTICIANS APPOINTMENT. I WILL TELEPHONE THEM AND TELL THEM I WILL BE TEN MINUTES LATE. BEAR WITH ME.
3:03 PM humanresources: ok,desmond, you can leave ok
i'll be here waiting for you in 3hrs time,will that be ok
3:05 PM Desmond: OKAY. THEY HAVE RE-SCHEDULED MY APPOINTMENT FOR 3.30PM.
5 minutes
3:10 PM humanresources: just go ahead desmond 6pm deal???
should i wait for you?
3:15 PM Desmond: THAT IS UP TO YOU. GOT TO GO AS I'M LATE AGAIN. CATCH YOU LATER.

These messages were sent while you were offline.

3:15 PM humanresources: ok i'll be here
you take care
bye

Sadly, Desmond didn't make it to the MG office due to an inconsiderate fellow commuter...

Quote:

Hello hillsdown

How are you today?

By the time I got out of my opticians appointment and did my shopping and paid some bills and got to the Moneygramme office it had already closed. Matters weren't helped when I was delayed on the tube train getting there when some inconsiderate person decided to commit suicide by jumping in front of it. He made a right mess I can tell you and completely put me of my supper of chopped liver and onions. Anyway, at least the dog enjoyed it.

I should be able to make it to the Moneygramme office some time today. Sorry for any inconvenience caused. I do hope you didn't get it in the neck.

Have a great weekend

Posted: Sat Aug 02, 2008 11:58 am

I love talking to lads on IM. It's by far my favourite modality.

I'm not sure I would like to chat to your lad though as he seems like the lad version of a geek. I'm afraid that I would just have to pour abuse on him.

Posted: Sat Aug 02, 2008 1:18 pm

Quote:

ok desmond ,you need not kill the dog

You owe me a new keyboard over that one. Shocked

Posted: Sat Aug 02, 2008 1:44 pm

For all you anoraks out there, Pickles was the name of the dog that found the stolen football World Cup after England won it in London back in 1966, when England had a proper football team and I hadn't started shaving. Happy days.

Posted: Sat Aug 02, 2008 3:48 pm

hahahahaha brilliant Twisted Evil

Quote:

2:23 PM Desmond: HOW ABOUT QUESTION - IS YOUR DAD'S DOG DEAD? ANSWER - YES. HOW IS THAT? .

oh how i lol'd Laughing

Posted: Wed Aug 06, 2008 2:18 pm

<br>Pickles the dog ain't very well since he ate the liver and onions. However, the lad kindly sent me a nice eCard for him...

http://www153.123greetings.com/card/08/06/02/21/LX40806022119301.html

How sweet!

Elite Baiter Joined: 16 Jul 2008 Posts: 1407

What a twit. Doesn't he know that Pickles is scared to death of teddy bears? After all, he was nearly killed after being trapped under the Giant Teddy you won at the fair?

What an ass. Better slap him!

Posted: Thu Aug 07, 2008 12:18 pm

I don't know what it is, maybe something in the water, but this is the second lad whose wife is with child.

Latest installment. Mr Hillsdown ( I still don't know what is name is) is playing hardball today...

Quote:

12:34 PM Desmond: ARE YOU THERE MR HILLSDOWN? HOW ARE YOU TODAY AND YOUR FAMILY?
12:36 PM humanresources: am good and you
what's good Desmond?
how's pickles
Desmond: HE IS ON THE MEND AND EATING AGAIN WHICH IS ENCOURAGING. HOW ARE YOUR FAMILY AND ALL?
9 minutes
12:46 PM humanresources: so desmond,what are your plans for today
12:47 PM Desmond: I THOUGHT I MIGHT TAKE PICKLES OUT FOR A WALK AS IT IS A NICE DAY. WHAT ABOUT YOU? IS YOUR WIFE AND KIDS ALRIGHT?
12:48 PM humanresources: yes but only a wife,we are still expecting
when do you intend reaching the money gramme's office?
Desmond: EVERYTHING GOING WELL I HOPE? HAVE YOU DECIDED ON THE NAME YET?
12:49 PM humanresources: not yet,but desmond,let's discuss the issue at hand
ok
12:50 PM when can you reach the money gramme's office?
12:52 PM Desmond: YOU DON'T WANT TO LEAVE IT TOO LATE YOU KNOW. BEFORE YOU KNOW IT THE LITTLE BLIGHTER POPS OUT AND WHAT THEN? NO NAME. IT COULD TRAUMATIZE THE LITTLE MITE FOR LIFE..
12:53 PM humanresources: we already have some option,we only need to finalize on which
you never answered my question
12:54 PM we could talk about that alter,let's talk business
12:57 PM Desmond: YOU NEVER ANSWERED MINE! EXCUSE ME A MINUTE I HAVE TO GO OUTSIDE. PICKLES IS ATTACKING THE POSTMAN. i THINK IT IS SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE UNIFORM. HE DOESN'T LIKE THEM YOU SEE. HE'S DANGLING OF HIS TROUSER LEG AT THE MOMENT HANGING ON FOR GRIM DEATH. BACK IN A MINUTE.
12:58 PM humanresources: i have to leave soon,so i need to know when you would be doing this???what you are asking is personal you know
12:59 PM you'd be one of the first to knowhen we pick a name pretty soon
1:02 PM Desmond: SORRY ABOUT THAT MR HILLSDOWN. i MANAGED TO EXTRACT THE DOG FROM THE POSTMANS ANKLES WITHOUT DRAWING TO MUCH BLOOD. HE IS NOT A HAPPY POSTIE I CAN TELL YOU AND HAS REFUSED TO DELIVER ANY MORE POST WHICH IS FINE BY ME AS THAT MEANS HE CAN'T DELIVER ANY UTILITY BILLS. HAVE YOU SEEN THE COST OF GAS THESE DAYS MR HILLSDOWN. ABSOLUTELY SCANDALOUS. NO WONDER OLD AGE PENSIONERS ARE DYING OF GAS DEPRIVATION IN THE MIDDLE OF JULY.
1:03 PM humanresources: Desmond,i have to leave now,just tell me when you'd be going to the moneygramme's office
my job is on the line
1:04 PM i need you to show some understanding here as i have done for you in your case
1:05 PM i need the scanned copy or my ass is fired or i pay for the total amount
which isnt good for a man expecting his first issue
1:06 PM Desmond: WHY IS YOUR JOB ON THE LINE? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO DESERVE THAT? I DO HOPE YOU HAVEN'T BEEN NAUGHTY WITH YOUR BOSSES SECRETARY AFTER HOURS ON HIS DESK MR HILLSDOWN? JUST BECAUSE YOUR WIFE IS WITH CHILD THAT IS NO EXCUSE. WHAT IS HER NAME BY THE WAY? YOUR WIFE I MEAN NOT THE BOSSES SECRETARY.
1:07 PM humanresources: answer my question Desmond,our client has been on hold since the 21st you said,till date he hasnt received any confirmation,isnt that enough to be fired
8000$ isnt so small an amount
1:08 PM i need you to be serious and tell me when you would be doing this
1:11 PM Desmond: MR HILLSDOWN YOU KEEP ASKING ME TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS BUT YOU DON'T ANSWER MINE. COMMUNICATION IS A TWO WAY STREET BASED ON MUTUAL RESPECT AND TRUST. AN D TO BE FRANK YOU SEEM A LITTLE EDGY TODAY. IS IT BECAUSE YOUR WIFE FOUND OUT ABOUT YOUR POST WORK NOCTERNAL TABLE ACTIVITIES WITH YOUR BOSSES SECRETARY/ IF YOUR BOSS IS GIVING YOU GRIEF JUST LET ME KNOW AND I CAN HAVE HIM KILLED. AS I LIKE YOU I WILL WAIVE MY NORMAL FEE AS A SIGN OF GOOD FAITH.

I think the game is up...

Quote:

humanresources: forget this bullshit you are playing Desmond,i have been sincere with my wife and that isnt none of your business,what's your business is getting what you have been instructed to do and done in time without excuses
What do you have up your sleeves,you find it difficult to answer my question and this is not good business ethics,have it your way,i guess i thought wrong of you when i said i trusted you and had faith in you,you let me down and now i have to pay the 8000usd before nextweek monday,thanks to you Desmond.why are you being self centered?Ask yourself what you seem to gain...
Thank you for all you have done.am not going to take up any charges,hope you are happy
i have to go
extend my greetings to Pickles and you enjoy the 7120usd
1:20 PM i never thought you'd be this inconsiderate
1:21 PM guess you have nothing to say
why keep silent
6 minutes
1:28 PM Desmond: MR HILLSDOWN. I MUST SAY I FIND YOUR BEHAVIOUR QUITE EXTRAORDINARY. YOU REALLY NEED TO KICK BACK TAKE A WALK IN THE PARK WITH YOUR WIFE AND YOUR UNBORN AND SMELL THE ROSES. I'M GLAD YOU ARE NOT DALLYING WITH YOUR BOSSES SECRETARY. THAT IS HIS JOB. GIVE MY REGARDS TO YOUR WIFE AND I'M PLEASED I DON'T NEED TO KILL YOUR BOSS BECAUSE I'M A BIT OUT OF PRACTICE SINCE I POISONED MY FIRST WIFE. HAVE A NICE DAY.
humanresources: how nice of you,enjoy the money
ok
1:31 PM Desmond: YOU STILL DIDN'T TELL ME YOUR WIFE'S NAME? I BET YOU DON'T HAVE A WIFE AND YOU REALLY LIVE WITH A MAN BUT ARE TO EMBARRASSED TO ADMIT IT. COME OUT OF THE CLOSET MR HILLSDOWN AND BE RIMMING PROUD.

Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2008 4:05 am

ha ha ha, great conversation, thanks for posting it! I may have to try this IM business...

Posted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 12:15 pm

Another one concerned about poor Pickles the dog...

Quote:

1:46 PM [email protected]: hello Potts
hw are you, did you get my email?
1:47 PM i've sent you several emails and didn't hear back from you..What's goin on
1:49 PM Caractacus: GOOD AFTERNOON MR STEVENS
1:50 PM [email protected]: How are you today Potts
did you get my email i sent you ?
Caractacus: I'M FINE, BUT MY DOG PICKLES IS NOT IN GOOD FETTLE
[email protected]: i don't understand
1:51 PM is everything ok
Caractacus: NOT REALLY HE HAS THIS BAD DISTEMPER AND IS NOT EATING ANYTHING MUCH.
1:52 PM [email protected]: what's the situation on funds Potts, has it been wired to the accounts giving to you?
1:54 PM Caractacus: MR STEVENS I HAVE BEEN UNABLE TO LEAVE MY DOG BECAUSE OF HIS ILLNESS. HE DOESN'T EVEN CHASE NEXT DOOR'S CAT ANYMORE, WHICH IS WORRYING BECAUSE IT SHITS ALL OVER MY FLOWER BEDS.
1:55 PM [email protected]: oh, was it because f the dog that you haven't made te transfer yet?
Caractacus: YES.
1:57 PM [email protected]: so what are you doing about the Dog's health
1:59 PM Caractacus: HE IS ON ANTIBIOTICS FROM THE VET. HOPEFULLY THAT SHOULD SORT HIM OUT. DO YOU HAVE A CANNINE FRIEND MR STEVENS?
2:00 PM [email protected]: not really, i'll try and ask
you can email me your phone if i see any so they can reach you ok
2:01 PM so Potts, when is this going to take place try and understand situation at hand as we are working with time here
2:02 PM Caractacus: PROBABLY FRIDAY. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS AT ALL MR STEVENS? IF NOT YOU REALLY OUGHT TO AS THEY LOWER THE BLOOD PRESSURE AND STRESS EQUIVALENT.
2:03 PM [email protected]: i once had a Dosh hond but it later got wild
2:04 PM so i had to let it go, because its causing a lot in the house
2:05 PM i'm thinking of getting a Bull dog, or a perknis, but business has gotten a hold of me thats why
and time to spend with them will be the problem..
2:08 PM Caractacus: YOU NEED TO GET A PET. STROKING THEM RELAXES YOU. PERSONALLY I WOULDN'T HAVE BULL DOG AS THEY SALIVATE WHEN YOU ARE EATING AND PUT YOU OFF YOUR DINNER. PERKNIS ARE GOOD. THEY ARE COMPACT AND YOU CAN PICK THEM UP AND CARRY THEM WHEN THEY GET TIRED ON A WALK. HWAT WAS YOUR DOSH HOND CALLED?
2:09 PM [email protected]: Jerry
i think i'll go for perkin
2:10 PM Caractacus: I THINK PARIS HILTON HASGOT ONE OF THEM IN HER HANDBAG
2:13 PM [email protected]: yes she does
2:14 PM so Potts i should be expecting the transfer done by Friday right?
2:15 PM Caractacus: IF THE DOG DOESN'T KARK IT
2:16 PM [email protected]: have you taken it to the vet?
2:17 PM Caractacus: YES HE GAVE US ANTIBIOTICS SO HOPEFULLY THE LITTLE FELLA WILL PULL THROUGH
2:20 PM [email protected]: ok good
2:21 PM but have you been gotten my emails?
Caractacus: YES
2:22 PM [email protected]: ok..do u live alone with the Dog?
dn't you have someone to look after it for you
Caractacus: WHY DO YOU ASK?
2:23 PM [email protected]: just wondering because you sound like yu stay alone since you have to lok after the Dog's health
2:24 PM i hope the Dog get's well sooner
2:25 PM Caractacus: DOG IS MAN'S BEST FRIEND. THEY NEVER CHEAT ON YOU AND THEY DON'T ANSWER BACK, DO THEY? APART FROM BARKING OF COURSE.
[email protected]: yes you are right..
2:27 PM Caractacus: HAVE YOU HAD A TORTOISE AS A PET? i HAD ONE CALLED FREDA. SHE LIVED TO BE 107 BEFORE DYING OF BOREDOM.
[email protected]: i hope everything goes well for you and the Dog Potts...
no i never had a tortoise
2:28 PM can i call you on phone later on
i have some errand to attend to, i just said i should check on you to see how things are going concerning the transfer
2:30 PM Caractacus: MY TORTOISE ONCE DID A RUNNER AND SHE WAS FIFTY YARDS UP THE LANE WHEN WE FOUND HER TWO DAYS LATER. WE SUBSEQUENTLY FOUND OUT SHE WAS ACTUALLY A HE WHEN WE TOOK HER TO THE VETS FOR HER 100 YEARS CHECKUP
[email protected]: ok
can i call you on phone later on
i have some errand to attend to, i just said i should check on you to see how things are going concerning the transfer
2:32 PM Caractacus: I TOLD YOU EARLIER DIDN'T I THAT I COULDN'T MAKE THE TRANSFER UNTIL AT LEAST FRIDAY AT THE EARLIEST DUE TO MY PICKLES ACUTE CONDITION.
2:34 PM [email protected]: ok, no problem..i will be expecting your email on friday then..if you will still be online we can talk more i won't be long
2:35 PM i will be back soon if you are still online
try to v
try to take things easy with your Dogs condition ok
2:36 PM i believe things wil be well soon
ok
send me your phone number so i can call you later in the day

Quote:

2:31 PM [email protected]: hello
Potts, i just sent you an email now
12:32 PM Caractacus: I JUST GOT IT
[email protected]: Why i need the slip is to confirm the actual amount that was sent and when because we also have other funds been wired to the account so i want to make sure ok.
12:33 PM Caractacus: I TOLD YOU BEFORE HOW MUCH WAS WIRED. ASK YOUR ACCOUNTANT.
[email protected]: you never told me anything...i told you to split the funds $200,000 each
when was the funds wired?
12:34 PM Caractacus: THEY WERE WIRED WHEN I TOLD YOU IN A PREVIOUS EMAIL. ARE YOU SURE YOUR ACCOUNTANT HAS NOT DISPLACED THEM FOR HIS OWN PLEASURE?
12:35 PM [email protected]: nope,i have not gotten any of your emails for days
now..
this is the first i got since friday after we talked about your Dog
12:36 PM can't you email me the slip for confirmation..cos my accountant has been checking the account and none from your name has been confirmed
Caractacus: IS YOUR ACCOUNTANT DELIBERATELY DELETING YOUR EMAILS FOR HIS OWN PERSONAL GAIN?
[email protected]: what do you mean Potts, no one checks my email...do you have the slip with you
12:37 PM that was giving after the transfered was made
12:39 PM Caractacus: ARE YOU SURE HE HASN'T? YOU DON'T NEED THE SLIP. yOU JUST NEED TO CHECK THE BANK BALANCES.
12:40 PM [email protected]: i have just contacted him now, he told me nothing has entered now
12:41 PM thats why i need the slip to confirm the transfer
Caractacus: I BET HE HAS STOLEN IT. CAN YOU TRUST HIM. PERSONALLY I SMELL A RAT.
[email protected]: it shouldn't e a problem for you to email me the slips
is it a problem for you to email me the slip?
12:42 PM Caractacus: YES. I DON'T HAVE A SCANNER FOR A START SO HOW CAN I EMAIL IT/
12:43 PM [email protected]: Look Potts, this is not the first time i've been dealing with transfers, we need proof that it was transfered and when and the day it was...because this is my client's account and he has been calling because they need to purchase materials for the company
12:44 PM Caractacus: YOU MEAN THAT THE MONEY HAS GONE INTO YOUR CLIENTS ACCOUNT RIGHT AND NOT YOUR OWN?
[email protected]: and right now the slip is the only form of proof that funds has been credited
12:45 PM is there no cyber cafe around your area you can go to and scann the slip?
you were giving 3 accounts right?
Caractacus: YES.
12:46 PM I THOUGHT THEY WERE YOUR OWN BUSINESS ACCOUNTS.
[email protected]: you were to wire $200,000 into each
of course
now when was the transfer made?
12:47 PM Caractacus: IF YOU BOTHER TO CHECK YOUR BANK STATEMENTS YOU WILL SEE THE DATE.
12:48 PM [email protected]: why i'm asking all these is that nothing has been seen yet, since friday you said you were going to
and i need the slip to know which bank the transfer wasmade from, and other details
12:49 PM Caractacus: SO YOU HAVE CHECKED YOUR BANK STATEMENTS THEN? WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY THAT FOR THE BEGINNING? PERSONALLY I THINK YOUR ACCOUNTANT HAS STOLE THE MONEY.
12:50 PM [email protected]: Potts this is no joke ok...I have been waiting for you to email me the transfer has been done with the necessary details
12:51 PM and up till now i have not gotten or seen any proof of transfer that was made
12:52 PM what is going on Potts...is it hard for you to emailme the slips, this is business we are talking aout $600,000
12:54 PM Caractacus: LISTEN UP AND LISTEN UP CAREFULLY. FIRSTLY TO CALL ME POTTS IS INSULTING WHERE I COME FROM. TO YOU I AM MR POTTS. SECOND WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY JOKE? YOU ARE THE JOKE AS YOU AND YOUR ACCOUNTANT OF CHECKING WITH YOUR BANK TO CHECK RECEIPTS OF THE FUNDS. NOW STOP PISSING ME OFF OKAY.
12:57 PM [email protected]: Mr Potts, i need you to go to the Cyber cafe and scan the slip that way, i can be sure the transfer was made because there is nothing to proof the transfer was made here and there's nothing in the account
12:58 PM Caractacus: WE DON'T HAVE CIPHER CAFES WHERE I LIVE. WE HAVE OUR OWN COMPUTERS.
1:03 PM WHERE HAVE YOU GONE? GET BACK TO ME QUICK.
12 minutes
1:16 PM [email protected]: i'm back Mr Potts
1:18 PM i just emailed you now
did you get the email
1:19 PM ru there
6 minutes
1:26 PM [email protected]: email me the details on the slips since you do not have a cyber cafe
31 minutes
1:58 PM [email protected]: are you there Mr Potts

No. I've gone to the pub!

Today...

Quote:

Caractacus: ARE YOU THERE MR STEVEN?
[email protected]: Good day Mr Potts
what time is it over there?
12:09 PM i was about sending you an email
are you there?
12:10 PM Hello
12:12 PM Caractacus: IT IS LUNCH TIME. HAVE YOU HAD YOUR LUNCH YET/
12:13 PM [email protected]: Not yet..
12:14 PM What are you saying conerning the funds?
12:15 PM Caractacus: I HAD BEANS AND POACHED EGG ON TOASTED BREAD FOR MINE. WHAT ARE YOU HAVING FOR YOURS?
12:16 PM [email protected]: i'll eat Chicken and chips
12:19 PM What are you saying conerning the funds?
Caractacus: SORRY ABOUT THAT. I JUST HAD TO TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE
12:20 PM [email protected]: what are you saying concerning the funds Mr Potts
12:21 PM Caractacus: WHEREABOUTS IN SPAIN ARE YOU?
12:23 PM [email protected]: Madrid but i'm currently in United Kingdom for business
Caractacus: WHERE ABOUTS IN THE UK? MAYBE WE COULD MEET UP?
12:26 PM [email protected]: Dalston, here is my number if you want to reach me...+447024099073 in the weekends i will be heading to Africa as i have some consignment to attend to over there
12:27 PM Caractacus: WHERE IS DALSTON?
7 minutes
12:35 PM Caractacus: ARE YOU THERE/
9 minutes
12:44 PM Caractacus: WHERE ARE YOU? AND WHERE IS DALSTON?

This guy doesn't like Google Chat, probably because he's having no success with it and wants Yahoo.S*d that for a game of soldiers.

Posted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 1:43 pm

You cannot beat a bit of baiting on YIM = Yahoo Instant Mugu... Very Happy

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 2:37 pm

Latest Google chit chat with Mr hillsdown (humanresources aka the man with no name) from the OP who is certainly has the tenacity of a Jack Russell terrier yapping and nipping at your ankles to little effect...

Quote:

Desmond: ARE YOU THERE MR HILLSDOWN?
12:11 PM humanresources: am here
so how is it going?
12:13 PM Desmond: I AM FINE. HOW ARE YOUR FAMILY?
12:14 PM humanresources: good
so where do we stand this week
Desmond: AND YOUR WIFE?
12:16 PM humanresources: she's fine thanks for asking
so desmond,about the funds in your possession
Desmond: HOW IS THE ONE YET TO BE BORN?
12:17 PM humanresources: please let me know when you would be sending this,it is paramount
Desmond: YOU DIDN'T ANSWER MY QUESTION.
12:22 PM humanresources: you there
Desmond: YES. HAVE YOU DECIDED ON A NAME YET?
12:23 PM humanresources: yes
desmond
12:24 PM Desmond: DON'T CALL HER DESMOND FOR GOD SAKE IT WILL SCAR HER FOR LIFE.
humanresources: not at all
12:25 PM Desmond: THINK OS A GIRLS NAME MORE SUITED TO HER. I PARTICULARY LIKE MIRIAM. OR ELSE NAME HER AFTER YOUR MOTHER. WHAT WAS YOUR MOTHER'S NAME.
12:26 PM humanresources: kathy
12:27 PM Desmond: IS THAT SHOT FOR KATHERINE? i LIKE DESDOMONA. IT HAS A RING TO IT.
12:28 PM humanresources: that sound nice
would take that
12:29 PM Desmond: WHAT ABOUT A MIDDLE NAME.MAYBE AFTER HER GRANDMOTHER? WHAT WAS HER NAME?
12:31 PM humanresources: so Desmond,let's talk about the 7120$ you have with you
12:32 PM Desmond: YOU DIDN'T ANSWER MY QUESTION...
12:33 PM humanresources: i'll go with Katherine
12:34 PM Desmond: SO THAT WAS YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S NAME? WAS THAT ON YOUR MOTHERS SIDE OR FATHER'S SIDE?
12:38 PM humanresources: are you there?
12:39 PM Desmond: YES. ARE YOU?
humanresources: yes
12:40 PM so,how do we deal with the funds with you
Desmond: I'M JUST HAVING MY LUNCH.
12:41 PM I' HAVING SCRABBLED EGGS ON TOAST. HAVE YOU HAD YOUR LUNCH YET
12:42 PM humanresources: no,sometime i wonder if am the employee and you are my employer,why do you fend away from my questions and you'd expect me to answer everyone of yours
when you never answer mine??
???
Desmond: YOU DIDN'T ANSWER MY QUESTION...
12:43 PM humanresources: you such a pin in the ass you know
it's business and let's talk business
i have had enough of your so called delays
12:44 PM stop playing around,get to your bank and have the funds verified again and again,then get back to me,i know what you are trying to do
12:45 PM Desmond: THE REASON WHY I ASK QUESTIONS IS TO GET TO KNOW PEOPLE BETTER. ESPECIALLY IMPORTANT IN BUSINESS. WHAT DID YOU HAVE FOR YOUR LUNCH MR HILLSDOWN?
humanresources: a confirmation from your bank,go ahead and call them
that's no issue,you get to know me when you act more business like
12:46 PM Desmond: YOU DIDN'T ANSWER MY QUESTIONS.
12:47 PM humanresources: you answer mine
stop playing around and get to the point Mr Desmond
wouldnt that be much more easier for both of us?
12:48 PM Desmond: YOU SEEM TO FORGET. I'M THE ONE WITH THE MONEY.
12:50 PM humanresources: what's it going to be?
12:51 PM Desmond: WHAT'S WHAT GOING TO BE? i DON'T UNDERSTAND
12:53 PM humanresources: Mr Desmond
12:54 PM Desmond: YES?

humanresources hillsdown
when do i get to know what's going on about the funds in your possession and ...

12:56 PM (2 hours ago)
humanresources hillsdown
to me

when do i get to know what's going on about the funds in your possession and when you intend to send it???

12:58 PM humanresources: you got my message
12:59 PM ?
1:00 PM when do i get to know what's going on about the funds in your possession and when you intend to send it???
Desmond: YES I DID THANK YOU. YOU STILL REFUSE TO ANSWER MY QUESTIONS. wHY IS THAT? ARE YOU AFRAID OF SOMETHING?
humanresources: am not but you just escalate the whole issue
1:02 PM Desmond: WHAT ISSUE SHOULD I EJACULATE? YOU MUST BE STARVING. HAVE YOU HAD YOUR LUNCH YET?
humanresources: am not but you just escalate the whole issue,why is that,why cant you just make it simple
1:03 PM i never said ejaculate,i sadi escalate
Desmond: BECAUSE I LIKE TO KNOW YOU AND FAMILY BETTER FIRST. DOES YOUR WIFE HAVE A SISTER?
1:04 PM SORRY ABOUT EJACULATE. MY SPELLING NOT ALWAYS GOOD
humanresources: ok
so?
1:05 PM Desmond: SO WHAT?
1:06 PM humanresources: the money tell me what you intend doing
1:07 PM Desmond: SO WHAT IS YOUR SISTER IN LAW CALLED?
1:08 PM humanresources: never mind about that,what brought us together was business not my family issue and i would appreciate it if you do not go there anymore till this issue about the money is resolved
1:10 PM Desmond: MR HILLSDOWN. I MUST SAY YOU SEEM A LITTLE TENSE TODAY. HAVE YOU GOT PROBLEMS AT HOME? IS YOUR WIFE GIVING YOU GRIEF?
1:11 PM humanresources: nothing to say?
1:12 PM Desmond: I JUST SAID IT. YET YOU DON'T REPLY PROPERLY. WHY IS THAT?
1:13 PM humanresources: you just said what?
Desmond: ABOUT YOU BEING A BIT TENSE TODAY. IS THE WIFE GIVING YOU EAR ACHE?
1:15 PM humanresources: forget my issues,let me ask when do you intend to finish this business
thought you said you could handle so many transactions
this way i bet you cant finish 2 in a year
1:16 PM Desmond: HOW CAN I FORGET YOUR DOMESTIC PROBLEMS WHEN THEY ARE CLEARLY AFFECTING YOUR BUSINESS JUDGEMENT AND YOUR POLITENESS TO OTHER PEOPLE WHO ARE CONCERNED ABOUT YOU?
1:17 PM humanresources: i have to go,when the funds are transferred let me know
you have got so much affecting you too
why not check yourself out?
1:18 PM Desmond: MR HILLSDOWN. IF YOU HAVE TO GO MAKE SURE YOU BUY YOUR WIFE SOME FLOWERS BEFORE YO GO HOME. HAVE A NICE DAY.
1:19 PM humanresources: i have to go,when the funds are transferred let me know
you have got so much affecting you too
why not check yourself out?
say something
1:20 PM Desmond: BUY HER SOME FLOWERS AND CHOCOLATES. PREGNAT WOMEN LIKE CHOCOLATES.
THEY ALSO LIKE RAW COAL
1:25 PM humanresources: answer my question
1:26 PM Desmond: YOU DIDN'T ANSWER MINE SO WHY SHOULD I? ARE YOU FEELING OKAY TODAY BECAUSE I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU LIKE THIS BEFORE?

And with that he was gone.

Any spelling on Desmond's part was either accidental or deliberate.

Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 2:15 pm

Mr Stevens is a glutton for punishment. Again all my spelling mistakes are intentional. Laughing

There again, it might just be due to my fat fingers.

Quote:

2:18 PM Caractacus: HELLO MR STEVENS. ARE YOU THERE?
2:19 PM Gerald: yes
What os happenin Mr Potts
2:20 PM Why has things not been done all these while..I'm not happy
Caractacus: I'M JUST HAVING MY AFTERNOON TEA. WHAT'S HAPPENING OVER THERE?
2:23 PM Gerald: What are you doing about the Funds..Mr Potts what is delaing you from wiring the money.?
2:24 PM Caractacus: I'M HAVING EGG AND CRESS SANDWHICHES AND JAM ROLLY POLLY TO FOLLOW WASHED DOWN WITH PG TIPS TEA. WHAT ARE YOU HAVING FOR YOUR TEA?
Gerald: Mr Potts that is not the question i'm askin
i'm talking about the funds here
2:25 PM Caractacus: YOU DIDN'T ANSWER MY QUESTION ABOUT WHAT IS HAPPENING OVER THERE.
2:26 PM Gerald: Everything is as it is here
now what is going on about the funds?
2:27 PM i think this has stayed long enough
2:28 PM Caractacus: THAT IS VERY PHILOSOPHICAL MR STEVENS - EVERYTHING IS AS IT IS HERE ALSO, EXCEPT THAT MY NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR WAS HAVING VIOLET SEX LAST NIGHT AND KEPT ME AWAKE.
2:29 PM Gerald: My Potts are you avoiding the question...What is going with the funds?
wherer is my Money
?
2:31 PM Caractacus: SORRY, ITS JUST THAT I'M TIRED AFTER LISTENING TO NEXT DOORS PASSION SCREAMING. SHE SOUNDED LIKE A GOAT WITH WITH ITS PRIVATES CAUGHT IN A VICE. DO YOU HAVE NICE NEIGHBORS MR STEVENS?
2:32 PM Gerald: What is going with the funds?
where is my Money
?
2:33 PM Caractacus: YOU SEEM A BIT TENSE MR STEVENS. ARE YOU OKAY? I DO HOPE YOU HAVE PROBLEMS AT HOME?
2:34 PM Gerald: after deducting your 10% from funds.. you are now playing tricks with me right..i now know this is a Hoax you trying to do with me here
2:35 PM i have been patience enough with you and you don't seem to be appreciative
Caractacus: MR STEVENS YOU REALLY MUSTN'T LET YOUR IMAGINATION GET THE BETTER OF YOU. YOU SHOULD RELAX AND BREATHE IN THE ROSES
2:36 PM Gerald: well...i have already decided what to do now since..its you want to keep the funds to your self...Mr Potts since i have al your details
you should be expecting some company...very soon to pay you a visit
2:38 PM Caractacus: MR STEVENS. YOU DON'T SEEM VERY FAMILIAR WITH BUSINESS PROTOCOL IN MY COUNTRY. BEFORE BUSINESS IS CONDUCTED WE MAKE SMALL TALK. ASK ABOUT EACH OTHERS FAMILY'S. YOU HOWEVER ARE A MAN OBBSEESSED WITH MONEY.AND YOU KNOW WHAT MONEY IS DON'T YOU MR STEVENS?
2:40 PM Gerald: what other talks do we have to talk about..you take everything for granted..do you think that is business? Everythings should be strictly Business when it come to it and besides we ave talked about your Dog, i symphatised and you said you will wire funds that week up till now nothing..Maybe its time i take legal actions
2:42 PM Caractacus: MY DOG IS VERY WELL THANK YOU.ALTHOUGH I'M A BIT PISSED OF BECAUSE THE POST OFFICE HAVE RFUSED TO DEVELOP MY MAIL SINCE HE BIT THE POSTMAN'S ANKLE.
2:44 PM Gerald: i need to know now...what do you want to do concerning the funds..Mr Potts materials have been delaying due to you delaying funds...can't you just wire the money then i know we're done and then we can talk about anything else
Caractacus: YOU HAVE PROBLEMS WITH YOUR CASH FLOW?
Gerald: we are short of funds Mr Potts
2:45 PM Caractacus: WHAT DO YOUR BANK SAY?
2:46 PM Gerald: We are lacking funds to proceed with materials needed to be purchased....I need you to send the funds even if its to one account for now so we can meet up with the things needed to be purchased
Caractacus: WHAT MATERIALS ARE YOU SHORT OF?
Gerald: Fabric materials
2:47 PM Caractacus: WHAT TYPE OF FABRIC?
Gerald: Don't you have consience and understandng mr Potts
don't you work with time..when doing Business
2:49 PM Caractacus: OF COURSE I HAVE A CONSIENCE. THAT IS WHY I ASK YOU THESE QUESTIONS TO TRY AND HELP YOU. YOU NEED TO RELAX A BIT MR STEVENS. WHAT DOES YOUR PRODUCTION MANAGER SAY ABOUT THE SHORTAGE/
2:50 PM Gerald: he is not happy with the way we're handling things as it has never happen before
2:52 PM Caractacus: YOU NEED TO HAVE A WORD WITH YOUR BANK MANAGER AND PRODUCTION MANAGER REGARDING THE MATERIALS SHORTAGE WITH A VIEW TO SHORT TERM FINANCE LOAN APPLICATION FACILITY. YOU ALSO NEED TO ASK YOUR ACCOUNTANT WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON.
Gerald: Now you know..the only way you can help is to do as you are told besides we had an agreement and i never expected you delaying funds this way..
2:54 PM Caractacus: MR STEVENS. YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE A CONTINGENCY FUND? PERSONALLY, I THINK YOUR ACCOUNTANT IS NOT FIT FOR PORPOISE AND YOU SHOULD HAVE SOME SERIOUS WORDS WITH HIM REGARDING YOUR MANAGEMENT ACCOUNTS.
2:55 PM Gerald: Where is tthe $600,000 in your acocount.what are you doing with it...
2:56 PM Caractacus: IT'S STIIL THERE EARNING YOU AND ME INTEREST AT 5%. DON'T WORRY. YOU WILL HAVE A HEART ATTACK. HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT BETA BLOCKERS? THEY REDUCE EXCESSIVE HEART PALPATATIONS.
2:58 PM Gerald: I'm done talking with you...Have a nice day and expect wat i told you in my previous mesage...now i know what you are up to
2:59 PM Caractacus: MY BANK HAVE GIVEN ME A GOOD INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITY IN A START UP COMPANY THEY RECKON IT WILL DOUBLE IN TWO MONTHS. WE COULD BE SERIOUSLY RICH MR STEVENS
3:00 PM Gerald: Is that why yuou didn't wire the funds?
3:01 PM Caractacus: NO. NOT AT ALL.I'M GOOD FRIENDS WITH THE BANK MANAGER. HE GIVES ME STOCK MARKET TIPS. WE PALY GOLF TOGETHER. DO YOU PLAY GOLF MR STEVENS?
3:02 PM Gerald: Good bye...I have all your details..when you meet with them you shoul explain better..
Caractacus: MEET WITH WHO?
3:03 PM Gerald: TILL THEN YOU WILL KNOW
Caractacus: YOUR ACCOUNTANT?

I like the way he goes into CAPS LOCK at the end just as his internet time runs out.

Posted: Fri Aug 22, 2008 3:04 pm

Mr Stevens thinks I'm a guy. However, I want to try and get into his way of rationalizing 419...

Quote:

3:06 PM Caractacus: WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
Gerald: On my computer
3:07 PM Do you have any update for me?
3:08 PM Caractacus: YES. I'VE JUST HAD MY LATE LUNCH. I HAD BOILED EGG AND SOLDIERS FOR A CHANGE. LIKE THE YOKE RUNNY SO i CAN DUNK THE SOLDIERS IN. WHAT DID YOU HAVE FOR YOUR LUNCH MR STEVENS?
3:09 PM Gerald: is that the Update you have for me?
Caractacus: YOU DIDN'T ANSWER MY QUESTION?
6 minutes
3:16 PM Gerald: Why are you asking me all these? Is that what i'm suppose to hear from you
3:17 PM Caractacus: WHERE I COME FROM WE EXCHANGE PLEASANTRIES BEFORE MOVING ON TO THE VULGAR MATTERS OF BUSINESS. YOU CLEARLY HAVE NO MANNERS OR BUSINESS ACUMIN AND IF YOU TALKED TO A JAPAANESE MAN LIKE THAT HE WOULD CHOP YOUR HEAD OFF.
3:20 PM Gerald: I ate Chipsand Chicken
3:21 PM Caractacus: WERE THEY FROM KFC?
5 minutes
3:26 PM Gerald: what is KFC?
3:27 PM Caractacus: KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN OUTLET. A BIT LIKE MC DONALDS BUT FOR CHICKEN. DON'T YOU HAVE ONE NEAR YOU? I'M SURE YOU MUST. THEY ARE DELICIOUS.
3:29 PM Gerald: WHERE IS THAT LOCATED?
Caractacus: IN MOST TOWNS. ARE YOU IN MADRID?
3:30 PM Gerald: United kingdom..
send me number i want to call you
3:31 PM Caractacus: I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING BACK TO MADRID?
Gerald: no not yet
i'm still there
send me your number i want to call u
3:32 PM Caractacus: BUT LAST TIME YOU SAID WE COULDN'T MEET IN LONDON BECAUSE YOU WERE GOING BACK TO MADRID.
3:33 PM Gerald: nope...i'm still there
send me your number i want to call u
Caractacus: WHERE ARE YOU STAYING?
Gerald: answer my question first
?
3:35 PM Caractacus: I DON'T THINK YOU ARE IN THE UK AT ALL..
Gerald: so where a i talk to you from..
Caractacus: YOU TELL ME
Gerald: send me your number and i will call you with my UK lie
line
3:36 PM Caractacus: WHATS A LIE LINE? IS THAT A LINE WHERE YOU LIE ABOUT WHERE YOU ACTUALLY ARE?
Gerald: now i know who u are
i should ave known better
3:37 PM Caractacus: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
Gerald: i've gotten all i needed
do you know at they call KARMA?
Caractacus: YING AND YANG. OF COURSE.
3:38 PM Gerald: anyways...bye for now..
Caractacus: COWARD.
Gerald: xpectin some1 special at your door step
3:39 PM can't wait to see u facially
Caractacus: YOU WANNA DEBATE THE MORALITY OF 419?
3:41 PM Gerald: so you are one of them right
ok..keep on talkin
Caractacus: NO I'M NOT BUT I KNOW A MAN THAT IS. WHY? I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW. DO YOU THINK WE ARE ALL RICH AND DESERVE IT?
3:43 PM Gerald: what are you into/
?
3:44 PM Caractacus: TALKING TO PEOPLE LIKE YOU. WHAT DO YOU DO AT WEEKENDS? DO YOU CHILL OUT, SEE FRIENDS AND FAMILY? DO YOU GO TO CHURCH ON SUNDAY. I'M CHURCH OF ENGLAND.
3:48 PM ARE YOU STILL THERE? DON'T WORRY, I DON'T BITE.

Ongoing...

Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2008 6:01 pm

Quote:

This guy doesn't like Google Chat

Of course he doesn't, he cannot do that annoying BUZZ every 5 seconds. Laughing

Google chat and Pickles the dog..Updated 22/8	View next topic View previous topic