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 Is the Public Ready for a Scambaiting Movie?

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The Blackwood Con
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 03, 2008 9:46 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I won't respond to all those points yet because I just read them through quickly. Wink

What I can tell you is this: I JUST wrote that out. Honestly, I sat down and in 2.5 hours pulled it out of my ass. There are a lot of flaws to it, and I am well aware of the fact. There are many holes that will have to be filled in. The thing about George's story though, is that the people who killed them were more than just scammers. The fact that they kidnapped him and killed him in such a brutal way shows that there is a bit more to them than just a man in an internet cafe. I plan on writing this from an angle with this group of people having more of a American Mobster kind of group. He has resources. He can find people.

Another thing I wish to address, something I did not add to the above, is that Jackson purposefully tried to track down Usma. Obviously this is where I am taking creative licensing, because in real life the murderers of George were never found.

This can also be painted as a tale of do as I say, not as I do.

I dunno, I can't explain it all.

Oh, but I forgot one last bit. As Jackson drove by the body, Usma saw him staring. That isn't something you find out until half way through the movie. Usma realized that he had someone witnessing the murder. He realized that that man needed to be taken out in order to keep himself from getting jailed. If you have Jackson trying to find Usma, and Usma trying to find Jackson, they are bound to find each other some how.

Just remember that there will be a lot of plot holes at first. Give me time to fill in details and slowly this boat will become less leaky.

ETA:

http://www.news24.com/News24/South_Africa/News/0,,2-7-1442_1641875,00.html

The above is about murder. They had Interpol and police forces from America, Greece, and South Africa all looking into the matter. I think if someone got information on whoever killed George, the police would jump at it. It would not be hard at all to get them involved in something THAT big.

I should also note that none of these names here are in any way set in stone. The name of Usma B3llo is used mostly as a place holder. I take great care when it comes to creating character names, so much so that i would not just decide on one immediately.

Additionally, much of the information about will have to be changed in order to not risk lawsuits. It's also not fun to have to go ask someone if you can write a screenplay highly fictionalizing the death of their family member.

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Otterfan
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 03, 2008 9:59 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Oh, of course there'll be plot holes in a first draft where things aren't worked out fully.

The problems I pointed out, though, aren't about the story but relate to ... for want of a better phrase ... schoolboy errors that only a newb to baiting would be making.

Whenever anyone posts for the first time here, what are they told? Bait safe! And someone will usually ask if the new person is baiting right now, are they using anything that has their personal details? If so, drop the lad and either get another one or set up a fake-details address and start again.

The underlying message? If the lad has anything---anything---about your real life that could trace back to you, drop him, walk away, don't look back, don't do anything more with him.

Your main character was seen. Fair enough, that's entirely possible, but how was that face later linked to the baiting persona that UB realized was a Gmail Joker? Why wasn't the guy taking even the smallest precautions to make sure real and fantasy were not connected? He made a beginner's mistake and almost paid for it. (If it were me writing his story, he would have paid for it!) This is not the baiter's way. The man acted impetuously, recklessly, and dangerously (a link to him is a possible link to everyone else in his life).

So... the question is: Will it be about scambaiting and how seasoned baiters put their art and skill into practice, or will it be about vigilantism gone wrong but saved by the LEO deus ex machina at the end?

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 03, 2008 10:03 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
I sat down and in 2.5 hours pulled it out of my ass.


Thankyou for that mental image. Sad

Leave something at the end like an origami unicorn made out of a Western Union receipt, so we are left wondering if Jackson is really a replicant...

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The Blackwood Con
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 03, 2008 10:13 am Reply with quoteBack to top

@Otterfan

Perhaps then Jackson needs to die. Perhaps what really happens is the sting takes place during the presentation. And that Usma gets off a shot at Jackson, killing him before SWAT can get in. But then there is an issue with civilians. An unknowing audience would be put in harms way. That would not be something the police would ever do. So what if, the entire time, there really isn't an audience... Put one there for the entire movie so that the viewer thinks there is one, then reveal at the end that there never was one. Does that at all make sense? It's a little more aggressive version of what I had initially posted. It's a classic plot-twist. A bit of a bait and switch, if you will.

Therefore, Jackson could be killed off without there being any risk to others. Throughout the presentation Jackson could also describe safe baiting practices and state that he himself never followed them. He could state that it is dangerous to do what he did. This in a way would foreshadow his death.

The entire film would then in the end act as a cautionary tale.

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"It is important to recall our mission: going after lads, and protecting victims. The moment we act against one another, we dishonour that mission." ~ Rover

thanks for making a fool of me ok,you are just talking nonsense.man to hell with you if you keep fooling me all the time."
maybe i will come and lick your shoes just because you want to buy diamonds from me.
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 03, 2008 10:36 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I like it, but it needs fleshing out a bit.

How about adding a sub-plot? You need more depth and to show more human drama. It's just a bit too one-dimensional.

At the moment, you've got Jackson working on his own. But how about teaming him up with a couple of other baiters? And they could be at variance with each other. One of those characters (let's call him Prod) could be a cruel, heartless bastard. The other (Slightry) is a sensitive, caring guy with stunningly good looks.

Although all working for the same team, you could have Jackson and Prod gang up and betray Slightry. I dunno how. Maybe Slightry gives Jackson a sensitive piece of information concerning Usm4n. Then, Jackson goes and shares that information with Prod who uses it to get Slightry raped and murdered.

See, in my eyes, Jackson is a villain with mental issues. You need to display his pain, his angst and above all, his willingness to step outside the boundaries and cruelly betray even the innocent.

Anyway. Just my two cents. Hope it helps.



Wink

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 03, 2008 10:39 am Reply with quoteBack to top

The Blackwood Con wrote:
... much of the information about will have to be changed in order to not risk lawsuits. It's also not fun to have to go ask someone if you can write a screenplay highly fictionalizing the death of their family member.


I suspect that his family would be even less impressed to learn that you plan to use his story from your posts here, rather than from being told directly. Sad It is to protect them that I have masked your use of his name in connection with your screenplay. Also, I've corrected an error/typo in your spelling of George's last name, to be respectful to his memory.

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The Blackwood Con
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 03, 2008 10:58 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Thank you Eight. Forgive me for missing that type, wherever it was. I was trying to be careful and spell it properly but I messed up. It really is quite sad, though. Much of what happened should be changed just because it would be disrespectful to fictionalize what happened as drastically as this. *sighs* I should go look for a new name for my character. Or just use my fallback character name of Nicholas Sandstrom. Or perhaps Atticus Blackwood. Wink Blackwood is actually the name of a character from pilot screenplay, hence where the username came from.

I'll figure something out.

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thanks for making a fool of me ok,you are just talking nonsense.man to hell with you if you keep fooling me all the time."
maybe i will come and lick your shoes just because you want to buy diamonds from me.
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 03, 2008 1:37 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Slightly, you put that so gently and eloquently. I think that would make a great sub plot. I think the character would greatly mirror your real qualities of your caring and loving nature.

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 03, 2008 1:42 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Yeah Reap.
Gotta admit I wasn't thinking that Slightry displays the same angelic qualities as myself when I wrote that, but now you mention it, I can see the similarities.

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 03, 2008 4:52 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Back on topic, please. Wink

@TBC - you have received some really great input here. Eight has an excellent point about George. If you plan to use what happened to him, you should contact his family and ask for their permission. You may avoid a lawsuit also.

I feel that a lot of research about scambaiting and 419 scams needs to be done on your part to give your screenplay depth and character. The best real to life screenplays are extremely well researched. Very Happy

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The Blackwood Con
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 03, 2008 5:13 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Thank you, SB. I agree. The screenplay I wrote for my screenwriting class took hours upon hours of research, and it showed. Much research is going to have to be done because for a good 20 or so minutes of the film we will see Jackson lecturing on the subject. That's an enormous about of a dialogue and detail for one person. The tricky part is not making it boring.

I must also say that no subplot can be added here. Not when, in essence, there are 4 subplots already. Also, more characters cannot be added to Jackson's side of the story. In a story like this characters must be kept to a bare minimum. As it is there are already going to be a large amount of main characters to begin with. Adding more purely for the sake of plot would not provide depth but would instead provide confusion.

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"It is important to recall our mission: going after lads, and protecting victims. The moment we act against one another, we dishonour that mission." ~ Rover

thanks for making a fool of me ok,you are just talking nonsense.man to hell with you if you keep fooling me all the time."
maybe i will come and lick your shoes just because you want to buy diamonds from me.
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 03, 2008 5:18 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
The best real to life screenplays are extremely well researched
.

So we can discount the Movie Enigma Wink

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