Love lad gets schooled

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Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 7:04 am

My character "Harry B0ner" met "Anita", a college student from Clifton, New Jersey, about three weeks ago on a dating site. When asked what college she went to, she told Harry it was the "Clifton School of Engineering." Of course she looked like a model, and her pictures even came complete with the photographer's logo. I don't think they were both the same girl either. Naturally, she wanted to marry him instantly, but first she had to go on a trip for her college to Nigeria. As soon as she got there she hated it and wanted to come back to the the states and marry Harry, despite the fact that if she did, her name would be "Anita Boner". Of course, there were bills to contend with, so Anita was going to mail some checks to Harry to cash. Cue the bogus address on a park pathway.

Of course, after a couple days Harry claimed to have received the checks, and deposited them in his bank. Harry then wrote back to Anita, claiming that the bank sent him a letter saying that they did not deposit the funds because the checks were such poor forgeries that they knew them to be fakes. And of course now that Harry has been accused of trying to cash fake checks, the bank is watching him closely and not letting him borrow any money or even withdraw cash. Anita of course, blamed it all on her shady manager in the states who was trying to use her for sex.

Looks like my ability to send money is pretty limited, right? Wrong! Anita had the brilliant idea to mail her all my valuable electronics including my fake Playstation 3 and laptop. Still, Harry couldn't afford the hundreds of dollars of shipping to Nigeria, so that ended that plan. Some time later, she decided I could mail the packages to a US address, and gave it to me. I told her I mailed them there, then did a reverse lookup and got his phone number. I gave it to a mod, and the guy was a victim who was warned to stop communicating with the scammer.

Of course, Harry had his own idea for ways to get money. First, he said he would sell drugs. The lad thought this was a very bad idea, strangely enough. Second, Harry claimed to be a professor that was on a board that gave out international scholarships (Villenova Institute of Research, or VIR for short Wink

). All Anita had to do was find someone in Africa to accept the scholarship, then split the money. She found one guy, Musa, who agreed to do it. Of course, he wasn't any good at filling out the scholarship form:

http://i337.photobucket.com/albums/n397/vir419/form1.jpg

He needed to hold up a sign that said "I was schooled by VIR." I tried to explain the concept of holding up a sign, but he didn't seem to get it. Finally I gave him this:

Of course, he couldn't attach a different picture of himself since the first one was of a magazine, so Anita had to find someone new to give the scholarship to. Enter Samuel.

Samuel wasn't much better at following instructions, but he understood the illustrations! He doesn't seem to have a digital camera though, so he had to get his picture taken in a photo booth and wait two days for it to be developed. Of course, by this time one of the deadlines had passed for the scholarship and now it was open to more applicants. The money will still be his provided no one else applies, but guess what will happen at the last second? Very Happy

Anyway, Samuel bugged me for help writing the essay, so I finally relented and wrote something for him. He still managed to make at least three mistakes copying though:

http://i337.photobucket.com/albums/n397/vir419/schooled_form.jpg

And of course, he finally did manage to scan in that picture from the photo booth! It's priceless:

http://i337.photobucket.com/albums/n397/vir419/schooled.jpg

What an innocent, earnest looking young man! All that hope in his eyes that he's going to soon be rich!

Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 7:22 am

Haha! Scientology. See, making him write out an essay, that's funny. But making him say he wishes to emulate a scientologist...now that's just cruel and inhuman. Laughing

Great stuff, though.

Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 8:20 am

A Scientologist? In my forum's baits? It's more likely than you think...

I wonder how he affords the auditing.

Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 8:24 am

No religion bashing please, however luna... No, I won't say it, they have more expensive lawyers than we do.

Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 8:44 am

I will legitimately say here, I do forget quite often that Scientology is a religion. It's probably just because it is quite new here in the forefront of popular culture, though. Like it's only been really well known for a year or two (a la Tom Cruise...can we make fun of him please?) so it's still something very foreign to the masses.

Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 8:58 am

Quote:

Like it's only been really well known for a year or two (a la Tom Cruise...can we make fun of him please?) so it's still something very foreign to the masses.

TBC lives 5 days back of the Ozarks, up a long valley, Smile

It's been here for 40 years, actually it's been 42 years since I first met up with them here, you can add a few years on to that for the USA

And don't knock the Cruise, he's a pocket rocket man

Great bait Vir, have you looked at Windypops new TT modality? excellent money transfer system Wink

Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 9:00 am

I know how long it's been along (thanks to Wikipedia). And if that video done by South Park is right, I know what it's all about too. I was just saying that as a part of popular culture, it has only been around for a short time.

And I don't live in either Kansas, Oklahoma, Arkansas, or Missouri...which means I cannot possibly live in the Ozarks. Don't they teach you geography down there?

Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 9:07 am

Really nice fun bait and summary Smile

Maybe Harry could offer to raise a collection on Anita's campus, talk to all her tutors, get some cash together that way? "She"'s going to just love that idea Wink

Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 3:59 pm

I just realized... if Anita married Harry B0ner, her name would be "Anita Boner." Laughing

(initial post edited Wink

)

That's not a bad idea, especially if I give Anita a choice between several methods of sending her money. IE, talk to people at her college, find her manager and get him arrested, or make me another trophy. Unfortunately, Harry is having his wages garnished because of some tax evasion a couple years back, so sending money directly is out of the question. Eventually the police will show up due to the electronics he shipped to that address and question him about dealing in stolen goods. Of course, this will further limit Harry's ability to send money, since the police are now watching his every move. I find it helpful to find some way to blame the lad for every reason I can't send money. Make it look like everything is his fault.

The scientology bit was an afterthought; I just thought it would be hilarious to have a scammer write that. Very Happy

Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 6:07 pm

Nice VIR!

I like the schooled trophy. Do you know if the picture location was a hotel or a private residence? No big thing, just nicer accomodations that at my place... Shocked

Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 6:28 pm

Actually, if you look at the background, you can see that it is a picture, repeated twice. I guess it's supposed to make them look like they're in a fancy setting. He told me it was at a photo booth, and so far I see no reason not to believe him. Smile

Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 6:56 pm

Oh, I seen now, I didn't look below the schooled sign...

That is even more funny!

Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 3:53 am

Awesome trophy, man! Laughing

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

Keep going on those trophies, I know you have many more to come.

Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 3:29 pm

Supposedly there were two lads, and one was upset that he didn't get the scholarship when the other did. So I dropped a hint that there may be another scholarship, an ART scholarship. I told him he probably wouldn't be interested, because he would have to be good at wood carving. The lad claimed he'd do whatever it takes to get it, and that yes, he was very good at carving wood! I also mentioned that it would be easy to expedite a student visa if this scholarship went through, which is another thing he's been bugging me about.

Well actually, "Anita" has been bugging me to help Samuel and Musa get visas. They want to get student visas in the US, but they can't even copy a 100 word essay properly. Riiiight... Rolling Eyes

Elite Baiter Joined: 17 Sep 2004 Posts: 1269

Excellent trophy. Tell him he's gotta retake your class though.

Posted: Sat Jul 26, 2008 2:10 am

Love the new avatar. Laughing

Posted: Sat Jul 26, 2008 3:45 am

Outstanding trophies! This one is going to be fun to follow. Very Happy

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

@prof so do I

Posted: Sat Jul 26, 2008 6:59 am

Excellent baiting and trophies, Vir! Very Happy

Posted: Sun Aug 03, 2008 4:36 am

Uh oh! Anita just found out that the scholarship Samuel put all that hard work into getting doesn't allow payment via Western Union or Moneygram. I offered a whole bunch of options including international money order and wiring to a bank account, but unfortunately none of them are possible. And he can't get the money unless he writes a handwritten letter to the scholarship board explaining the reason that other options are unacceptable.

This could delay the lad just long enough to get him to apply for the other scholarship, which for some reason requires a carved wooden replica of a firefly-class spaceship. That scholarship does allow western union as a payment option!

Oh, and the kid still thinks I mailed the laptop. In fact, he just asked me all the specifications of it not long ago. I guess he needed to line up a buyer. Wink