Whats your angriest ever lad?

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Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 1:02 pm

Just looking thorough my old mails and had to bring this to everyones attention haha

Mines would have to be last year when I baited a lad named Frank Okoh. I sent his barrister on a huge safari (see sig line) with this payment form-

http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a137/Peter_79/CLITpayment.jpg

He got back after 4 days, and he was furious ..

Quote:

ATTENTION: MR PETER ANDRE,

I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE THE BUFFOON AND NOT ME AND INFACT YOU ARE MORE THAN
A GAZOOK IN THE AFRICAN ZOO WHICH HAS TO BE KEPT IN THERE IN THE ZOO.BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT JUST
A NORMAL HUMAN BUT AN INBECILE. THIS ARE ALL WHAT YOU HAVE CALLED ME YOU HAVE INSULTED
ME ENOUGH AND TO MY STANDARD YOU ARE NOT WORTH TO INSULT ME.

I HAVE TAKING MY WHOLE TIME AND MONEY TO MAKE MY TRIP TO KASTINA AND YET THERE IS
NO BANK THAT HAS RECOGNISE YOUR PAYMENT.AT FIRST YOU SAID THAT THE MONEY CAN BE
PICKED UP AT UNITED BANK FOR AFRICA AND MOREOVER THE DIGIT NUMBER YOU GAVE WAS
SUPPOSE TO BE FOR WESTERN UNION WHICH IS 10 DIGIT AND UNITED BANK FOR AFRICA ARE JUST 8
DIGIT NUMBER BUT IN YOUR FAKE PAYMENT SLIP THERE ARE 10 DIGIT NUMBER.

WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR? YOU ARE ASKING ME TO SCAN A RECEIPT OF MY FLIGHT TICKET TO KASTINA
FOR YOU WHAT DOES THAT HAS TO DO WITH THE MONEY THAT YOU WERE SUPPOSE TO PAY ?
IF I DO SEND TO YOU THE FLIGHT TICKET WILL YOU SEND ME BACK MY FLIGHT TICKET MONEY?
OF COURSE I KNOW THAT YOU CAN NOT I DONT EVEN THINK YOU HAVE THE
MONEY TO PAY MY FLIGHT TICKET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FOR YOUR INFORMATION I AM A LEGAL PRACTITIONER AND SOLICITOR AND ALSO A SENIOR
ADVOCATE OF NIGERIA S.A.N AND YOU CAN NOT TELL ME WHAT TO DO OKAY.IF YOU KNOW THAT
YOU ARE READY TO HELP THE POOR MAN DYING THEN YOU ARE TO LISTEN TO MY INSTRUCTION
ANBD MOVE TO COLLECT BACK YOUR SO CALLED MONEY THAT YOU SAID YOU HAVE SENT AND
RETREIVE YOUR STEP BACK TO MONEY GRAM OR WESTERN UNION OFFICE TO MAKE THE PAYMENT
WITH THE NAME BELOW.

RECEIVERS NAME: OSSANI ONYENOGE

ADDRESS: LAGOS NIGERIA

TEXT QUESTION: WHAT IS YOUR NAME

TEXT ANSWER: PETER ANDRE.

IF YOU FAIL TO COMPLY WITH THIS EMAIL PLEASE DO NOT EVER AND EVER AGAIN IN YOUR LIFE
WRITE TO ME OR WHATEVER BECAUSE THIS CHAMBER DO NOT HAVE TIME TO WAISTE FOR A BUFFOON
LIKE YOU.

I AM NOT USED INSULTING PEOPLE LIKE THIS BUT YOU HAVE FORCED ME TO AND I DONT MIND IF YOU
KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT WILLING TO HELP MR FRANK OKOH KINDLY LET HIM KNOW FOR HIM TO GET
A MORE COMPETENT MAN THAT CAN HANDLE THIS FOR HIM AND TO FOOL YOUR SELF ALL AROUND.

THIS NONSENSE ACT OF YOURS HAS CAUSED ME LOOSING UP TO $350 USD ALL TOGETHER TO GET TO
KASTINA SINCE ON MONDAY!!!!!!!

SO DO NOT BORDER YOUR SELF TO TELL ME THAT I SHOULD GO AND GET THE MONEY WITH THE METHOD
OF YOUR PAYMENT BECAUSE YOU WILL NOT BE ATTEND TO.

LOOK AT YOUR SELF IN YORUBA LANGUAGE HERE IN NIGERIA THERE IS PROVERB
THAT SAYS (A FOOL AT FORTY IS APKA LON JE BEA) IF I WERE YOU I WILL GO AND LOOK FOR
A NIGERIAN AND TELL HIM TO INTERPRET THAT MEANING TO YOU BECAUSE YOU DONT HAVE
NO 6 IN YOUR THINKING SKULL I ADVISE THAT YOU GO AND GET YOUR NO 6 AND MOVEEEEEEE TO
THE MONEY GRAM OFFICE OR WESTERN UNION TO MAKE THE PAYMENT ITS ONLY AN ABOKI MAN THAT
DOES NOT KNOW WHAT IS GO AND COME AND WHAT TO DO AT THE RIGHT TIME.

YOU THINK THAT THIS TRANSACTION IS CHILDS PLAY? HUH YOU THIS BUNCH OF JAGURA,EVEN IN THE
SO CALLED RECEIPT YOUR FACE LOOKS LIKE AN OPKOLO EYES VERY BIG LIKE THE MAP OF AFRICA.

LISTEN TO ME I AM NOT YOUR MATE I AM JUST COMPLETING THE AGE OF 62 YEARS DO YOU THINK
THAT IS A JOKEEE????? AND I FINISHED MY LAW SCHOOL AT THE AGE WHEN YOU ARE NOT BORN
AND NOT EVEN THINK OF CONCEIVING YOU IN YOUR MOTHERS WOMB.

LO SON OWO IN ENGLISH IS GO AND PAY THE MONEY AND STOP EMAILING ME WITH YOUR LOW SENCE
YOU ASS HOLE.,

IF YOU SEND ME ANY EMAIL WITHOUT PAYMENT INFORMATION OF MONEY GRAM OR WESTERN UNION
SHANGO WILL STRIKE YOU DEAD NONSENSE.

GO AND GET THE REAL MONEY AND LETS HELP THAT POOR OLD MAN ON THE SICK BED WHO
HAS PUT ALL HIS TRUST ON YOU NOT KNOWING THAT HE HAS FAILED FOR PUTING HIS MIND
ON YOU.THEN IF YOU WANT TO CONFUSE ME THAT YOU ARE NOT ALL THIS I AM CALLING YOU
THEN PROOVE IT BY GOING TO SEND THE REAL MONEY AT THE PLACE THAT I HAVE INSTRUCTED YOU TO.

I AWAIT FOR THE REAL M.T.CN OF WESTERN UNION MONEY OR REF NUMBER OF THE MONEY GRAM INSTEAD
OF THAT YOUR SO CALLED COMPANY.

NOT HAPPY WITH YOU

BARRISTER USMAN BELLO

SPELL IT CORRECTLY IN YOUR NEXT EMAIL (edit- We kept calling him Barrister Bellend) AND MAKE SURE THAT YOU REPLY ME BACK THROUGH THIS
EMAIL AND NOT MY OTHER EMAIL BECAUSE I WILL NOT GET YOUR EMAIL SENT TO THAT ADDRESS.

I REPEAT LASTLY, NO WESTERN UNION OR MONEY GRAM DONT HESITATE TO WRITE ME BACK BECAUSE
IT WILL BE OF NO USE. IDIOT LIKE YOU!!!!!!

Yup. He was certainly the angriest haha! Laughing

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 1:18 pm

I once had a lad who sent me about twenty F-bombs in size twenty type. Nothing very creative- just "F-you idiot" written over and over again.

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 1:38 pm

mine is this ... he kept it simple

Quote:

[email protected]
to [email protected]
date Fri, Jul 4, 2008 at 3:07 PM
subject Re: URGENT: PAYMENT INSTRUCTIONS
mailed-by aol.com
hide details 3:07 PM (13 minutes ago)

DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!
DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!
DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!
DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!
DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!
DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!

LEAVE ME ALONE AND DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!

YOU ARE A GOAT DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!
DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!

Master Baiter Joined: 19 Apr 2007 Posts: 108

@ gaz_c_85
That's hilarious, almost Monty-Pythonesque in parts! Or perhaps I can almost imagine John Cleese playing the barrister, in best Basil Fawlty mode.

And, at the end, the final insult, he's "not happy with you"! ROFL!!!

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 1:43 pm

The angriest I've ever made a lad can be found in the thread below.

PLEASE do not necro this thread.

http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=105208

Baiting Guru Joined: 31 Jan 2007 Posts: 12237

Barr. Short Laughing

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 2:39 pm

Ladette Sylvia was not happy about filling out more forms:

Ms Sylvia Sabata wrote:

Dr Anthrax,

Thank you so much for your 'assistance' and the revelation that it won't bother you either way. You should know that I never approached you for assistance that will make you lose anything. Whatever you think you want to spend is nothing compared to what i AM OFFERING YOU IN RETURN FOR WHAT I ASKED YOU FOR. If you think my not filling these your so called forms is laziness, so be it. Remember DR rUDOLPH, i NEVER ASKED YOUR ORGANISATION FOR HELP!!! It's a personal help I asked from you and not all these 'my organisation' thing.Tell me, when the money is being transported to you, do you want it done in the name of your organisation? PLEASE SPARE ME THIS CRAP!!! If you have the mind to help here, it's you I asked help from and not your organisation. The money I don't have I've been made to borrow to print this, take that, scan a lot only for you to say I am lazy.I only want to let you know that if you do not help me, it's not the end of the world, then know you just lost out on the opportunity of making a lot of money yourself since $390 is so difficult for you to make in a week!!!Thanks so far and may God reward you according to how you deal with me in this matter!!!

Bye.
[Sylvia]

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 27 Jan 2008 Posts: 589

When I get death threats Mr. Green

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 3:04 pm

@gaz_c_85

Quote:

YOU ARE MORE THAN A GAZOOK IN THE AFRICAN ZOO WHICH HAS TO BE KEPT IN THERE IN THE ZOO.BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT JUST A NORMAL HUMAN BUT AN INBECILE.

Master Baiter Joined: 17 May 2007 Posts: 105

I rather liked a result I got from an insult bait.....

U R BASTERD OF HIGHEST ORDER. UR PAPA DEY ARM RUBBER

> STARVIN DEAD ON ITA OKO

> ISLAND BEGGIN 4 FOOD. U SO SMAL EVEN EFCC DEY LAUGH AT U.

> U HAV NO LEVEL. U

> NO GET EVEN PENTIUM 1 FOR HOUSE U DEY TAKE 48 HOURS TO

> REPLY ONE EMAIL U NO

> GET 10O NAIRA TO BUY TIME FOR CAFÉ. U NEVER VISIT NA

> WESTARN UNION IN U

> HOLE LIFE. NO MONEY WILL EVA COM UR WAY. U WILL DIE A POOR

> CHURCH RAT.

>

> MY REGARD TO UR OSU FAMILY. NA DRUKARD IDIOT U CALL UR

> FARTHER NO BE U

> FATHER. OOOOO. CLIFFORD ORJI DON FORK UR URGLY MAMA N SHE

> GIVE AM BELLE SHE

> BORN U. HER TOTO DROWS LIKE OKRO SOUP SMELLING DAMN THING I

> WOUNDER HOW U

> COPE WIT ALL DE ODOUR FROM HER PUSSY. ABEG MAK SURE DAT

> HER PUSY GET CLEANE

> COS IT STINK OP ALL OF NIJA. I DEY AXE MAN MODERFORKER,

> AYE, AYE. I GO

> OGWUGWU AKPU SHRINE N SWEAR 4 U. KOM KARI MEANS U B DEAD

> VERY SOON, GRAVE

> DEY WAITIN . I DON FIT BLIND U FROM MI MAIL FOOOL.

>

> IDIOT LIKE U WHO NO GET SENSE.I PITY U SO MUCH BECAUSE I

> DONT NO WHERE UR

> FULISHNESS WIL LEAD U. I ADVICE U TO GO BACK TO UR VILLAGE

> U MAGA

>

> HALA ME BACK FOOOOOOOOL

Top sweary joy ! Do feel free to forward a copy to your personal favourites.

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 3:16 pm

Quote:

back 2 sender

BACK TO SENDER YOU AND EVERY MEMBERS OF YOUR HOUSEHOLD WILL RECIEVE YOUR PRAYERS OGUN LO MA KPA IYA EH...ATI BABA EEH.....YOU WILL SURELY RUN MAD THIS WEEK.....YOU WILL DRINK YOUR URINE IN A COMERCIAL BUS....AFTER YOU HAVE DANCED WITH YOUR MOTHER NAKED IN FRONT OF YOUR HOUSE.....

YOU LEARN NOT TO INSULT AFRICANS.......IN A HARD UNIQUE WAY

Followed by:

Quote:

mad man, ur father died trying to cure you of your insanity and epilepsy........ur mama is heart broken eating from dusting bins due to your frequent arrest and detentions....pray that you that see the light very soon.stop abusing little innocent girls and boys.........

He seemed the angriest, though I have a feeling that his anger was around before me, because I simply emailed him one time and got that first response. He had a real chip on his shoulder in the beginning.

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 3:20 pm

The angriest lads I've ever dealt with are lads I chat to on IM.
It isn't all about writing death threats. The silence in between some of the sentences they type sometimes speaks volumes. Twisted Evil

Baiting Guru Joined: 04 Dec 2005 Posts: 3551

This lotto lad lost a bank account last year, and he thought I had tried to steal from it. He bombed my account, and of course, I had to retaliate.

Quote:

Hey xxx or what the fxxx did u call your name man, i think u can fool me or something? u know what you loose and thanks for wasting your time trying to get money out of the fxxxx acct i gave you LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thats just a waste of time man , i know u right from the first day and thought of playing along? wow!!! i under estimated you man, but the good thing is that i was fast enough to move all my money from the acct but u tried getting money out of the account telling all kind of stories about you and your stupid banker. You know what i think go fxxx your momma LOL!!!!!!!!!! cxxxx head u cant get a dime out of the acct as it is already useless . Oh that reminds me , is your banker still sending the money? so i know which acct to give you next LOL,.... I AM A Fxxxx BARRACUDA MAN, wiser than you are , smarter than u are , so just save your breath and dont try going any further using that acct ot trying to get money out of it, i have closed it LOL!!!!!! but i ve my ways of getting US checking accts, shld incase u are interested, i can give you another acct maybe that will help u LOL!!!! what do u think Cxxxxx? let me know what u think bastard!

I responded to him unkindly, and his reply was

Quote:

u dey mad shey u knw? so if at all u go dey para me shey na the type of me , ur *DELETED* brother u go come dey para shey? u no try guy , u really no try man? anyhow sha nawing do u .... u no break leg guy , but shey u suppose look ur papa for face amd call am oloshi? i no blame u guy , ur papa no fit see me or stand for where i go fit stand make u call me oloshi., na Y Y cus all this shit wey u go call me oloshi, anyhow bro , u try man, well done, i HAIL OOOOO man!

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 4:41 pm

After I sent this oga's nephew and one of his friends into Darfur, where they were never heard from again, and after the oga went to Khartoum, Sudan to bail the two out of prison (they were not really in prison... I pretended to be a cop and told the oga that they were), and after the oga finally realized that he had been played, I got this gem.

Quote:

From koffi kuku Fri May 26 10:19:38 2006

Smart guy, the officials that I talk to say that your church does not exist anywhere and is not at any camp in chad. The police official is the president? I can see now that you are a fraud playing serious games. What do you gain with this? I just want to know why. I have never know anyone like you. You are a unimaginable bastard pig to do this to me. I want you to know that i will spend my life to find you and when I do you and your family will suffer terrible as i have, I promise.

Good by bastard

On a side note... it's been over two years now and he has yet to appear on my doorstep.

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 5:04 pm

^^^^ There should be a unique, distinctive helmet for an oga on safari.

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 7:12 pm

YW: Are we going to start an ethics thread about the two that have never been heard from again?

EDIT: And to stay on topic see my siggy line for people mad at me. Nothing new as of late. I must need a better insult script.

Master Baiter Joined: 17 May 2007 Posts: 105

[quote="The Man"]YW: Are we going to start an ethics thread about the two that have never been heard from again?
quote]

I guess they could be said to be in a satisfactory condition. Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 7:42 pm

The Man wrote:

YW: Are we going to start an ethics thread about the two that have never been heard from again?

At the time this was all going on, there was a HUGE ethics thread. Been there, done that.

http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=75877

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 9:05 pm

This Barrister got a wee bit huppety last year after a few months of jolly japes. He loved me, really......

Quote:

bastard, once again, do not sleep because while you sleep i will kill you in a very slow and painful way that you can not imagine. if you think i really will not find you and do these things then you are mistaken. i will cut our your heart and slit your throat, then drink your blood like wine. these i promise you. nobody can take me for a fool, bastard.

FOOL like you. you will never produce offspring because your bastard bloodline will soon end.

Master Baiter Joined: 17 May 2007 Posts: 105

Quote:

slit your throat, then drink your blood like wine.

sounds like a Tom Waits lyric....

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 9:19 pm

Notice though, he was going to cut out my heart then slit my throat. I took issue with him on this, suggesting it might be better to do it the other way around, as the blood wouldn't be pumped out of the throat wound if he removed the heart first. Duh.

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 10:09 pm

Rockaway love Reverand Bodi Cigars website Laughing

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 11:46 pm

Recently, my senile, retired civil servant character (who didn't understand anything about computers, much less emailing attachments) dropped off the beneficiary application form at the local Barclays branch office instead of emailing it, then called the branch to be sure "Gary" received it Laughing

The Barrister was not amused.

Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 12:03 am

In my one safari so far, I got a lad to make 2 x 400 mile round trips in 3 days. When I eventually got him on the phone, I expected furious anger. Instead, he was good-humoured, and even chuckled! To him, the odd safari was clearly just an inevitable occupational hazard!

Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 12:21 am

ChainYanker wrote:

I once had a lad who sent me about twenty F-bombs in size twenty type. Nothing very creative- just "F-you idiot" written over and over again.

I got one like that (from Rev. Jeans in my sig), but it was in bright pink Laughing

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