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 UPDATE Lad Home and still believes in Fiona

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Juan Freizwidatt
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 20, 2008 3:29 am Reply with quoteBack to top

A streded lad! I just love that. Very Happy Terrific job, Redshoes!

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Professor So And So
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 20, 2008 8:38 am Reply with quoteBack to top

This just went to the lad from Dover:

Quote:
I'm sorry that it took me a bit to get back to you. We're basically in a frantic mode over here in Maiduguri. Fiona Went into labor on our journey. The doctors said that it was possibly due to the very bumpy ride we took. Anyway, we have FINALLY got her a doctor here in Maiduguri, so everything should be fine for now. The doctor said she will more than likely give birth in 3-5 days time. Fiona told me to tell you not to worry about her because there is an American doctor here that is treating her, and he takes great care with eveerything he is doing. She also told me to tell you to please make it to Maiduguri as soon as possible. She needs you at this birth, and knows that you are resourceful enough not to let her down now.

All the best to you, and God bless.

_________________
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Safari - Mr. Neill - London, England - Glasgow, Scotland - "Yu are really causing confusions between us all."
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Professor So And So
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 20, 2008 6:58 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I signed into the Dover account, and Willy's brother Richard tried to chat up Dover. Sadly, he only manages to get Anita. Anita is a 15 year old intern, and unfortunately is a bit worthless when it comes to any sort of assistance. Here is the chat we just had:


Quote:
William: good day sir
I will like you to leave me a message
I will be back for a moment please
This is from Richrad
William has sent me to check his mail for him
may be you have read the first one and left a message

me: Oh jeeze, hi!!
This isn't reverend Ben
This is Anita

William: alright

me: I am checking the church e-mail for him
I'm a 15 year old intern here
It's SOOOOO coool!!

William: Anita can you deliver this message to the rev

me: Totally! What is it??

William: check the email sent to him from mcwixxxx
and urgently deliver the message to him

me: Okay, but there is a BUNCH of stuff in the account today. I don't know how long it will take me to go through everything
it's like a ton!
But when I see it I'll try to tell him whatever stuff it says fast

William: anita
?
are you there?
i would like to ask you a question
do you know who Fiona and auntie Mary?

me: Hey!
Sorry, I was away for a minute
I thought you were gone
William: For the sake of those two in africa i would like to check ma mail first

me: I totally know them!! Fiona RULES
Mary kind of annoys me though

William: yes
forgive her

me: I do. It's just hard, you know?

William: see fiona is in labor

me: It's almost as hard as cleaning under Reverend Phstme's desk
He keeps me under there a lot

william: and will like to see my brother at his side befor she deliver

me: What is she delivering?
I thought they were done with the tent stuff

William: and my brother too is like kind of stranded in Abuga right now and will like the Rev. dover to tell Fiona's docter to send Fiona over to Lagos at where he is right now
yea
you want understand since you are yet to be of age very soon you will

me: Why is Willy in Lagos?

William: he went there to meet fiona and auntie M ary

me: They were going to Abuja! That's the wrong city!
No wonder he can't find her

William: but upon reaching there he received a message from Rev. dover that they are at Maiduguri another state in Nigeria
yea

me: I've been there!
It was AWESOME!!

William: ok
can you plz
give me the exact address?

me: I have to ask around
I don't know off hand

william: ok

me: I definitely know they were not going to Lagos
So it's weird that he went there

William: yea
i want you to do something for me ok?

me: Sure!
I like you!

William: me too
my name is richard
can you keep me name?

me: Sure!

William: keep it cause i will meet you one day

me: Okay! That would be the coolest thing ever
I'm going to Africa soon

William: PLEASE find the message and deliver it to Ren

me: Okay, I will
Why is Willy in Lagos? That doesn't make any sense

William: ok the i hope you will look for me

me: I know Fiona was really excited to see him
She told me that is her husband!

william: she did not see him yet
yes

me: How long will he be in Lagos?

William: willy can't find them you know?

me: They told him to look for them in Lagos?

William: may be i don't know
no
listen to me please

me: I am listening, but it doesn't make any sense!
I know Reverend Ben will ask me why he is in the wrong city
So I want to know why to tell him

William: i know it doesn't make any sense
that is the only city to get transport to Maiduguri
and it will take another full day to get there

me: Okay. Now I understand
So should I tell Reverend Ben he will be there tomorrow??

William: and for him not to miss the delivery of Fiona's baby he will like the rev. to tell fionas docter to transfer fiona from Maiduguri to Lagos

me: Oh jeeze. I just talked to Sister Kathy
She told me Fiona is in the hospital!
Wow!
One minute

William: either than that it will hurt fiona for willing not being there at her time of delivery

me: Okay..
Are you there?

William: yea

me: Sister Kathy has told me that Fiona will be giving birth in the next two days or so

William: yes

me: And that there is no way she will be able to go to Lagos
She's in the hospital!
Willy needs to get there
And be by her side
She will be SOOOO sad if he's not there
So you need to tell Willy to get there immediately


William: but willy can't get there on time if you don't tell Rev to do wat i told you to tell him

me: As soon as possible
What did you tell me to do?

William: Willy has to wait for the next day before he gets a transport to convey him to where Fiona is right now

me: So he'll be there in 2 days?

William: Willy is not a nigerian nbut a ghanian do you know that?

me: That will be perfect1

William: yes

me: Yes. I know her husband is from Ghana
I think Ghana guys are the hottest!!
I'm so jealous

William: you just deliver the message to Rev
or have him read the message himself

me: Well, I already told you what Sister Kathy said
She said there is no way Fiona can leave the hospital for travel
So that is not going to happen, I guess
Does willy have money for the transport?

William: are you finalizing the issue?

me: How much money does he have?

William: not enogh
so he has to wait to cash from western union tomorrow

me: I believe God will carry him there!
That's so romantic!!!

William: hope so
I like you anyway

me: Did Willy spend all of the money they sent him to Abuja?
Kathy just asked me that

William: no
he is now going to cash it
since it is weekend

me: But he is in Lagos!

William: he can only cash it in the week days

me: He can only collect it in Abuja
Sad That sux!!!

William: anita?

me: I'm here!

William: calm urself for to tell you something
okay?

me: Sure!

William: willy gat there at Abuga only yesterday saturday
and can only cash the money tomorrow

me: But you said he is in Lagos and not Abuja
So he is going to Abuja tomorrow?

William: have i said dat?
my bad
I mean Abuga

me: Yes. You told me 3 times he is in Lagos

William: he is in abauga

me: You said he is there to catch a bus

William: Abuga
am desperate that is why

me: I'm like totally confused!!

William: am kind of worry for ma brother
that is why
He is in Abuga
okay?
tell sister Kathy dat

me: I guess so! My little pea brain head is spinning!!
She will be back soon, and I'll tell her

William: okay
so do you now get me
he can only cash the money 2morrow
in abuga

me: Okay, great!!

William: thanx

me: So then he will go to Maiduguri??
You can easily get a bus in Abuja to Maiduguri
I did it!!!!

William: that is if only he is able to cash the money

me: Before!

William: yea

me: Okay, well I have to go now. Reverend Phystme will be back from service soon. He's been spending time teaching

me how to kneel properly
And I don't want to make him wait!
I'll tell Kathy everything and get a hold of Ben when I can

William: okay
nice talking to you hope we will meet agin

me: Same here!! I think I have a crush on you!
Do you like younger girls?

William: meet too
yea

me: Reverend Phystme tells me I look good a lot

William: am also not that old

me: How old are you?

William: wanna keep it a surprise to you
you can have ma email
it is [email protected]

me: Well, I only like older men!!
Are you like 15 too, like me?
William: no
22

me: That's not too old

William: i guess so

me: Okay, I have to run!
Love you!!!!!

William: do you have my email?
love you too

me: I have your e-mail
I'll write you!

William: leave me a message okay?
ok

me: Okay. Bye!!

William: bye
<3

_________________
Safari - Ibrahim - Lagos - Parakou - "Find out if there is any western union money transfer from the 5imba camp"
Safari - Mr. Green - Germany - Amsterdam, Holland - "I'll be in a brown check suit and trousers and a brown shoe."
Safari - Mr. Mark - Accra - Tamale - "I thank you so much for the pain,time,money and life that you caused."
Safari - Mr. Neill - London, England - Glasgow, Scotland - "Yu are really causing confusions between us all."
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redshoes17
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Joined: 28 Feb 2007
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 20, 2008 7:29 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Is it a good sign or a bad sign that the folks back home don't understand where Willy is?

Willy delaying the start of his trip actually worked out well, he got there Saturday after all the WU banks were closed. The bus doesn't run again until Monday.

Can Dover ask him were he is sleeping?

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I don't need you alone for sex. w1l13

i was ashamed this money money was not in the system when we got there to cash it,it made me and my family lawyer look like little children Godwin

'because no one want your progress not every one want your goat to give birth to twins as the man who see tomorrow told me when i visit him in the shrine Godwin

i was rubbed by rubber last friday, they collectted all my money and my phones.
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redshoes17
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 20, 2008 10:01 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Apparently WU and the cyber cafes are closed on Sundays in Abuja.

Quote:
Hello Reverend,

This is Richard the younger brother of William AXXXX.I am mailing you this mail on behalf of my brother because he called me from Abuga and asked me to send it to you.Please Sir William is in kind of BIG trouble in Abufa right now of which if he doesn't see Fiona either today nor the day after I don't know what will become of him there.The address you left for him in his email is a valid address but when asked about where it is,he was told it is also another state in Nigeria ther of which it will take about a day and half journey to get to where Fiona is right now. And for now he is kind of short in money and he has to wait till tomorrow to visit the western union for money either he will get or not lies on tomorrow.

So what he is asking is for the Docter of Fiona to make available a transfer of Fiona from Maiduguri there to Abuga to make it easier for the two of them to meet or may be it will be a little difficult for him to get to MAIDUGURI there before the delivery of the baby.And for you nunber it is kind of being put on voice mail.It will be appreciable when to talk to you direct rather than leaving a message.And for Fiona's hospital phone number he is kind of in need of it to call there to talk to her first before the necessary procedures.It's bye for now.

Thank you sir.
Richard

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Safari Floyd Lagos to Abeche with reaper
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star Hello Kitty! Mortar x41
I don't need you alone for sex. w1l13

i was ashamed this money money was not in the system when we got there to cash it,it made me and my family lawyer look like little children Godwin

'because no one want your progress not every one want your goat to give birth to twins as the man who see tomorrow told me when i visit him in the shrine Godwin

i was rubbed by rubber last friday, they collectted all my money and my phones.
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FrumpyBB
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 20, 2008 10:44 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Sounds like big trouble, errr, fun Very Happy

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manbiteslion
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 20, 2008 11:17 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Oh do dear oh dear, now Little Richard is getting dragged into willie's crazy fantasy world too - hope Anita (An Eater?!) keeps him suitably distracted and misdirected so Willie carries on down the one way path he's started out on Smile
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redshoes17
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 11:36 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Willy claims to be broke and hungry.

Quote:

Why did you do this to me my love?You told me you are in Abuja.I am stuck in Abuja and all my money is finished.I don't have anyything to buy even food to eat.I went to the WESTERN UNION and they said the number is not correct so the can't give me the money.
Now i don't know what to do here niether where to go to. Rev.Dover told me about you and the baby and i need to be by your side by now. I wish to see you before you deliever the baby.
Please for me to be able to be there,you have to resend the money to me here in Abuja before i can come to Maiduguri.
Maiduguri is in a different state and far from Abuja.
Please if you didn't help me from here,i may die here cos i have not eaten since morning.
Please give me a call (+234)-xxxxxx5523.
I am looking forward for your call. I will be by your side soon.
I love you

_________________
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I don't need you alone for sex. w1l13

i was ashamed this money money was not in the system when we got there to cash it,it made me and my family lawyer look like little children Godwin

'because no one want your progress not every one want your goat to give birth to twins as the man who see tomorrow told me when i visit him in the shrine Godwin

i was rubbed by rubber last friday, they collectted all my money and my phones.
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Simba
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 11:51 am Reply with quoteBack to top

redshoes17 wrote:
i may die here cos i have not eaten since morning.


Oh what an absolute woosie... !!!
With any luck he'll not have a meal until he walks all the way home.... Laughing

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N.O.R.A
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Location: Enjoying all the love from Africa.


PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 11:53 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Shocked

She is to have her baby at any minute and all he thinks about is money and his own situation. A decent man would never treat her woman in that way.

Quote:
Maiduguri is in a different state and far from Abuja.


Rolling Eyes

Is this the right time to give a lecture on geography?

Why doesn't he just borrow a few naira and take a bus if he really loves her?

Confused

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jojobean
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 12:16 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

This just in to Dover...

Quote:
Rev.Dover,
I have stuck here in Abuja.It's a long journey from Accra to Lagos and from Lagos to Abuja and could not find anyone here.I couldn't get assess to the internet yesterday thus why i asked my brother Richard to contact you.
I am stranded here in Abuja and all my money is finiushed.I have one day hotel bill to pay before i leave here but i don't have money.They are given me till end of the day if i don't pay i have to face the law.
I went to Western Union this morning and they said the number is not on their data and that is not correct.
Please ask Fiona to resend me the money so i can be able to come there to Maiduguri.I am stucked here Rev.Dover and i need a help please.I tried calling you and Fiona but your lines are on voice mail.
Please help me from here Rev. I am looking forward to hear from you soon.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 12:20 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Oh I hope he has to face the law! Very Happy

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Simba
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 12:23 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
I am stucked here Rev.Dover and i need a help please.


Siggy material, for sure..... Laughing

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Juan Freizwidatt
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 2:47 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Ah, what a charming report to read first thing in the morning! It brings a real smile to my face. Very Happy A streded lad with nothing to eat and about to face the law. Sweet!

_________________
"SATAN WILL KILL YOU . BECAUSE YOU ARE A DAUGHTER OF MERMAID"

"HOW DOES IT SOUND TO YOU THAT ANOTHER PERSON IS DEALING WITH YOU AND ASK YOU TO CONTACT ANOTHER PERSON AND NOW YOU SAID THAT YOU WANT TO DEAL WITH THE OTHER PERSON WITHOUT THE KNOWING OF THE PERSON THAT ASK YOU TO CONTACT THE OTHER PERSON"

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FrumpyBB
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 3:14 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Until the end of the day, then he has to face the law? (grin)

This answers redshoes´ question from yesterday "where is Willy going to sleep?" (one day in a hotel), and it also answers - with just a little bit of additional good luck - where he is going to sleep tonight...in a prison cell Very Happy

I could not think of a lad right now who deserves this more Twisted Evil

_________________
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jojobean
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 4:02 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
Rev.Dover,
If there is anyway i can get to Maiduguri,i will but this is a critical situation here that i don't know anyone here in Abuja and also here is not my country.I don't even know so called Maiduguri but there is a transport that can bring me there and the problem is i am short of money here and the hotel in which i lodge now is going to handling me to the law of not paying my bills since i arrived here on saturday.
As a matter of fact,they also refuse to serve me food and i am starving here. Please do something to help me get to her and i promise to pay back.God bless you for your kindly help.


These lads can be so dramatic now can't they?

I am chatting with him now...

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redshoes17
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 4:18 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I believe he is telling some other people back home a slightly different story. This just in from his friend David, to Aunt Mary.

Quote:
mery, william has been sleeping in the car pack for 3days now in nigeria he did not meet fiona and he went round from hotel to hotel looking for her so he has called nash and he has no money to return back home where are u?

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i was ashamed this money money was not in the system when we got there to cash it,it made me and my family lawyer look like little children Godwin

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i was rubbed by rubber last friday, they collectted all my money and my phones.
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 5:15 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Here is the chat we just had. Beware, parts of it are VERY NSFW and pretty crass. Ladies, don't hate me for this chat. There are some things in there that I just had to write because they are coming from a pastor to a fellow church member.

Quote:
William: Rev.Dover?

me: yes
How are you?

William: is that you?
i am fine Rev
how is Fiona doing?

me: Last I heard, she is well

William: thankGod

me: I have not received any email updates and I have no phone
I do believe that all will be right

William: in Jesus name
i am stranded here

me: Stredded?
In Abuja?
Are the conditions hash?

William: the hotel is going to hand me over to the police this evening

me: Well, have faith my friend

William: yes

me: As a future pastor, all things will work out
Remember Paul and Silas?

William: i do but this is serious Rev
i do

me: Yes
So was the situation of Paul and Silas
But all worked itself out

William: i have no money left with me as im talking

me: I understand
Fiona wants you with her as the child is born

William: how can mine work out when the WU said the number is not
correct?

me: I don't understand that
Have you checked the MTCN online?
It was sent via secure services

William: so do i
and the local WU here said they don't have that number on their data
i have been to almost 4-5 WU
if here were to be Ghana,i will know how to sort this out but here is
Nigeria
and here are the WU here saying they don't have that number on their
system

me: That is so weird

William: i don't know whaqt to do

me: Hmmmm
Is there any way you could get to Maiduguri?
I mean, once you get there, I think that everything will be good

William: there is but how can i?
i don't even have money to pay the hotel bills nor food

me: hmmmmm

William: they refused to serve me food this morning

me: This is quite a pickle we are in
What?
They refused to serve you food?
How rude

William: yes

me: Did you tell them you were on a mission?

William: as u can see,i have not eating yet

me: This is not good
I don't want you going hungry
I wish you were in Chad with us
We just threw away a whole pizza

William: they said it's a lie

me: They said what is a lie?

William: they don'y believe i am on a mission

me: Why?
Tell them you are a TWAT
Maybe they have heard of us

William: i have explain to them but they refuse

me: We have done some fine work in Africa
So, where are you staying?
In a hotel?

William: yes and this evening is my final day if i don't settle the bills,they
are going to hand me over to the police says the manager


me: Really?
Can he do that?

William: yes Rev

me: Wow

William: from they way he speaks,he can

me: How are you staying in a hotel, if you have no money?
Kind of like credit?

William: i was hoping i would have cash the so i can leave here today to
Maiduguri

me: Yes
I understand

William: i paid for the first day i arrive here

me: ah

William: and now i owe them 2 days

me: Is it a nice hotel?

William: not so nice
a managable one
i owe them 12,000 Naira

me: How much is that in US currency

William: about $180

me: Okay
What is the name and number of the hotel
Maybe I can have someone contact the manager on your behalf
I cannot promise that, but I will see what I can do

William: Park Place Hotel
i have to ask of their number later

me: Okay
Maybe you can email it to me
Did you come to Abuja on a one way ticket?

William: ok
yes

me: Okay
We will, after this seri of unfortunate events, find you a way home
All I kno is that Fiona is waiting for you
She wants to see you

William: please do me a favour

me: What is it

William: please if can borrow me so money to be able to settle this hotel
and also buy a ticket so i can meet Fiona at Maiduguri

me: I will see what I can do

William: i promise to pay you back when we meet at Maiduguri

me: I know that transfering money from Chad to Nigeria can be a
problem
Brother, I could never ask you to repay me.
You are here as our guest.

William: no

me: This is on me.

William: i will

me: No sir.
This is my treat.
You have me to thank for all of this.
When Rev Dover says he is going to do something, it gets done.

William: this is a favour i ask from you and i need to fulfill my promises

me: I have a list of people you could ask.
I understand.
I will try to get a transfer/
I know there are certain cities that are very difficult to get money sent
to from Chad
Lagos is nearly impossible.
There are many fraudsters there and we have had problems sending
money to people in that city in the past.

William: im in Abuja not lagos

me: I don't know how Abuja is.
Right
I am just saying
I hope that Abuja is not like Lagos

William: i hope so too Rev

me: I know I can send money to maiduguri, with no problem.

William: from the way i see Abuja,it a nice place than lagos
i don't know what they will do to me this evening

me: I hope they do not arrest you
The WU is closed by now
Here

William: thus my prayers

me: I will not be able to make a transfer until tomorrow.
Shops close early some days here in Chad
It is a Muslim country you know.

William: i will have to print this chat and show it to them that the money
will be coming tomorrow

me: Oh yes.
Vow to them that if the money is not there by tomorrow, they can
arrest you.

Tell them that.

William: ok
i will try


me: If the money from Reverend Dover does not arrive tomorrow, you
will surrender to the police. I can assure you the money will be there.
Have you been to Nigeria before?

William: no
this is my first time here

me: Are you enjoying your stay?
Ah

William: no Rev

me: Why not?
Oh, right.

William: how can i when i couldn't reach to whom i came here to see?

me: The arrest thing
Yes
I understand
I forgot for a second
I am jsut having so much fun in Chad.

William: also they are threating me

me: I hate that you are not having a good time
Threatening?
That is a hash word

William: well,for a whole manager of a hotel to tell you "we are given u
up to the evening if u did not pay your bills,we will get u arrested"

me: Yeah
That is really mean of him
What a big old meanie
It's amazing how rude people can be
But don't worry
I will send you money soon
Can you send me the details to send them?
The money that is

William: ok
the name is WILLIAM EDITED TO REMOVE LAST NAME

me: Okay
Are you hungry?

William: yes Rev
very very hungry
i took it as a fasting cos not too long ago we completed our 21 days
fasting

thus 2 weeks ago
lol

me: hehe

William: the address is EDITED TO REMOVE ADDRESS

me: That is funny
Okay
Yeah, people have fasted 40 days before
This should be no big deal, right?

William: YES
yes
hehe

me: Easy for me to say, I just ate a big pizza
Hahahahah
And threw away almost a whole one
It had way too much meat on it
I was sick from eating so much
Then there was the cake.
Do you like cake?
We have some good cake here once you arrive.

William: yes i do
u are killing me here Rev Laughing
hehehehe

me: We have some nice Chocolate Cream cake here
Sorry
I just get started on cake and I cannot stop
Cake and pizza are my two favourite things.
And women.
My wife that is
Wink

William: i love cake and pizza too
specially pizza is my favorite


me: Yeah
This was like a meat lovers
But, for me, it just had too much meat
That's why we threw most of it away


William: lol

me: What have you been eating up until now?

William: well,we shall meet there God willing 2days from now

me: Yes
I am sure that we will meet
I don't forsee any problems

William: i will join the next avialable bus to Maiduguri tomorrow as soon
as i recieve the money

me: Okay
I shall send it out tomorrow
After breakfast of course
You know I won't be skipping any meals!

William: i willbe very happy if the transfer can be done in the morning so
i can cash it early here

me: Yes

William: please do send me the number by phone

me: I wake up around 10 AM
Then, I have breakfast at about 10:30
So, I should get the money sent by noon, at the latest
How can I send the number by phone?

William: wow
what is the time there now?

me: I don't have your number.

William: but you called me last time i arrive here

me: Right now it is almost 6:00
Yeah, that was not my phone though
I mentioned earlier, I have no phone right now

William: same here
6:00pm
oh sorry

me: I have to borrow a phone if I need one. And it is hard to get people
to let me make out of country calls.
It is costly.

William: oh ok
then please mail it to me as soon as possible

me: Okay

William: when do i check my mail?

me: As I said, I wake up around 10:00 or so
I should have the transfer out by around noon
Better try 1 or 2, just in case I sleep in


William: ok
God bless you so much Rev

me: Yes
This will all pass over, I am sure of it
No worries

William: that means i have to leave to Maiduguri on wendesday
ok

me: Just consider yourself Moses in the desert

William: thank you Rev

me: No problem.
Be sure to show this chat to the manager

William: ok
i will
thank you
can you type something which can convince him much to know it true i
will settle his bills tomorrow?

me: Yes

William: good

me: Dear Mr. Manager:

My name is Benjamin Dover, from TWAT, an international ministry. William is a good man. He has experienced a wee bit of difficulty on his mission. Please know that I am sending money tomorrow. You have my word. If he does not come with the money tomorrow, then please arrest him on the spot. That is how serious I am about getting my money to him, to make sure he is taken care of. As you are my witness, if Willy does not have the balance by tomorrow, he is to surrender himself to you and you are to have him arrested.

Ben Dover
How is that?

William: hold on

me: Is that good?

William: wow

me: I don't like to brag, but I did do a lot of writing in college

William: that wild

me: Yeah, I really put my neck on the line there

William: i believe he will stand by your word Rev

me: You know, my name is at stake here
Yeah
And if it doesn't happen, you have to turn yourself over.
WE don't want my name getting all mucked up.
But no worries.
Everything is just fine

William: wow

me: That was good writing, eh?

William: i pray that the money will come tomorrow

me: Yes
It will
Don't worry
This is Rev Dover you are talking to

William: may the Good Lord it in Jesus name

me: I am a friend first, pastor second and entertainer third
Got it?

William: yes
hehehe
thank you Rev Dover

me: Alright
Have a good day buddy

William: evening
you too rev

me: Bye.

William: bye Rev
God bless you so much

me: Thank you

William: by the way,how is your family doing?

me: Very well
My wife is sexy as ever
Man, she is an angel on the outside but a demon in the sack
If you know what I mean
The rest of the family is well too

William: hehehehe

me: You get what I am saying

William: thus women for you
i think so

me: That's right
A hole is a hole, innit?
Just kidding

William: i get it

me: It sucks not having my wife here
I am a man of needs
And it's hard without her here

William: i'm looking forward to get married to Fiona as soon as the baby
is delievered

me: Yeah
You'll have to wait for a while to consumate it

William: i know how you fill

me: My wife's vagina was way streteched after our fist kid.
It was like throwing a roll of toilet paper into a siloh.
We then got her that vaginal rejuvenation surgery.
It looked so much better.

William: hehehe

me: It made it tighter

William: thank God

me: Easier to cum

William: alright

me: I don't know if you have ever had sex with someone who just had a
kid
But it's murder trying to get off
It's like you are banging on the sidewalls my friend

William: hmmmmm?

me: It means her vagina was too big

William: i haven't tried that before

me: Well, once you and Fiona go at it, you'll know what I mean
Her junk will be so stretched
Imagine shoving a kid out of your anus
That's basically what having a baby is like.
So, it gets stretched.

William: hahahaha
i see
i love her u know

me: Yeah
That's why you have to show her

William: we planned getting married beforew this happend

me: Right

William: yes

me: Well, at least you know she is good and ready to have sex

William: hehehe
how did u know ?
Laughing
well,my time is up Rev

me: hehe

William: nice talking to you and i'mgoing to show this to the manager
right away

me: I have "heard" Fiona can do it right
alright
Be sure to show him all of it

William: i will Rev
i am looking forward for tomorrow then
good bye

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Last edited by jojobean on Mon Jul 21, 2008 6:48 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Juan Freizwidatt
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 6:07 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

This maybe the funniest line in the entire hilarious chat:

Quote:
me: Yeah, I really put my neck on the line there


Yeah, Rev, you're sure putting yourself out there asking for Billy boy to be arrested! Laughing

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manbiteslion
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 7:08 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

According to the Abuja City Hotel Directory (may be slightly out of date, mind) the regular room rate for the "Park Place Hotel" is just 5,900 / night - 12,000 / night is more in line with the Royal or Ambassadorial suite. Ideas well above his station, that boy!
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jojobean
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 7:11 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^

That 12000 Naira is for two nights he said.

Quote:
William: and now i owe them 2 days

me: Is it a nice hotel?

William: not so nice
a managable one
i owe them 12,000 Naira

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redshoes17
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 7:23 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

He turns to Aunt Mary for help. She never reads her email.

Quote:
Hope you are doing fine Aunty. I arrived at Abuja safely on saturday but the problem is that i was not able to meet Fiona yet.She told me she is in Abuja but she is not.I have been sleeping in a hotel since i arrived and now the hotel were given me up to this evening to settle my bills or else they will hand me over to the police.I am stranded here Aunty.Rev.Dover sent me a mail that they were on the way to Abuja and the got to a State called Maiduguri and Fiona was not filling fine so they took her to the hospital and the doctor said her time is up for her to deliever.I wish to be by her side before that but i am short of money as you know already and now to get there i need money to buy a ticket to there and it's about another 1and half journey.wow.Please save me from being arrested Aunty.There is no way that i can Reach Fiona but to buy the ticket and go there.Please send me some money as soon as possible so i can save my life here and also continue my journey to Maiduguri to meet her before she deleiver please. I owe the hotel $180 and if i can get additional $150 so i can get to Fiona.Kindly send it through WESTERN UNION as soon as possible. Send it to the address below:WILLIAM address edited out I get it tomorrow as soon as possible.I am looking forward for it please Aunty.I'm counting on you please or else i will be arrested.

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i was ashamed this money money was not in the system when we got there to cash it,it made me and my family lawyer look like little children Godwin

'because no one want your progress not every one want your goat to give birth to twins as the man who see tomorrow told me when i visit him in the shrine Godwin

i was rubbed by rubber last friday, they collectted all my money and my phones.
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Wright B Hindyou
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 11:43 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
i owe them 12,000 Naira

me: How much is that in US currency

William: about $180

Ooooh, who's fibbing? It's about $103....

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redshoes17
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2008 12:03 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I knew it, I told jojo while he was having that chat that willy was lying about the money. I do believe he is broke however, except for some cafe money.

Also the days do not add up. He paid for Saturday night, which meant he only owed for one night at the time he wrote that.

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Safari Willy Accra to Abuja to Maiduguri
Safari Floyd Lagos to Abeche with reaper
Safari Dan Benin City to Lagos
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star Hello Kitty! Mortar x41
I don't need you alone for sex. w1l13

i was ashamed this money money was not in the system when we got there to cash it,it made me and my family lawyer look like little children Godwin

'because no one want your progress not every one want your goat to give birth to twins as the man who see tomorrow told me when i visit him in the shrine Godwin

i was rubbed by rubber last friday, they collectted all my money and my phones.
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yournamehere
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2008 9:19 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I wonder if they let him out of the hotel at all, maybe he should try to escape and run... (tie the bedsheets together and jump from the balcony Smile )
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