Dan safari copout

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Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 2:59 pm

What the hell is the stupid boy trying to ask me now?

Quote:

Ok dad you'll take your live from Abuja to the yankari camp Nigeria,but how is it going to be,please feed me with lastest update ok.

i hope to hear from you sooner.

Quote:

Sorry Dan,

I'll take my live? how is what going to be?

Speak English and type slowly lad, it's been a long day.

Roy

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

Live is a common lad mistake for leave. He is understanding you are leaving Abuja and going to the safari camp.

To F he says,

Quote:

dan Sad
F: why?
dan: sad about everything of life
F:why?
dan: no reason

I couldn't get anything else out of him.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

That is typical Dan. F has been in a hell whole of an interp0l prison camp for about a year now (I think), getting sexually abused on a daily basis, having to trade sex favors for internet time, but none of that means squat to Dan.

When F was first arrested Agent J0nes sent him graphic descriptions of what was being done to her. I won't post them here, as they are quite pornographic, and I would really like to keep the ability to post on this forum and not get banned for making a post that Penthouse would deem "over the line." Was Dan outraged? Of course not. He was upset that J0nes was, and this is a direct quote from Dan, "partying without him."

Dan is complete and total pond scum.

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 3:59 pm

Dan gets all he deserves then.

More questions from him..

Quote:

Is there no latest update??

Where are u going,home or where??

Dad you know you have'nt send me any pictures of how your house look like,please dad send me one pls,just need some ok.

From your son Dab

Quote:

Dear Dab (have you got a cold?)

You don't make any sense to me today. Update about what? The Nigeria Tour?
we got our tickets from the camp today, and the club has paid for yours as well.

christiano won't be coming I'm afraid, we are giving him time off
after his surgery.

It looks like we will be playing the match against Portsmouth in Abuja now,
so the camp is better placed than we thought. We fly there after we
visit South Africa,
for three games against Kaiser Chiefs and Orlando Pirates.

Our own research has shown Nigeria is home to our fourth largest fan
base – some 13.6million supporters – so this is an opportunity for us
to say thank you to those fans.
We're looking forward to a real carnival atmosphere when we play in
Nigeria. In January we had a game in Saudi Arabia, which went very
well. Now this will be our first visit to Nigeria and a chance for the
fans to see their heroes in the flesh. (lifted from a press release)

We are still arguing with Spurs over Dimitar, its going to be a long day.

i attach a couple of pictures of my house, its in the Red Rec, a few
players live nearby in Rosamund Street.

Roy

Photos nicked from an Estate Agent's site in Alderly Edge, Cheshire, where the United players really do live.

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 4:05 pm

@RC - Bloody nice carpeting...!!
I once saw a mugu wearing a shirt just like that.. Very Happy

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 4:41 pm

It wasn't Dan was it?

Not quite a Newb Joined: 27 Dec 2007 Posts: 33

Oh man! It's a magic eye suit!! Very Happy

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 9:39 pm

Quote:

I am in Benin city,honey give me your mobile number so i can call you at list to hear your sexy voice.

From your love Dan

It appears "little Dan" is quite needy lately.

Quote:

Baby,

I'm afraid Mr. Soludo has my mobile. He took it back from me when I left him.

Can you give me your number? Maybe I call you from my auntie's house?

Kisses,
Cinnamon

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 10:49 pm

@RC.......why did you not send dab a photo of your lovely new bathroom?

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 11:35 pm

One thing manbiteslion knows a bit about is accreditation schemes and lanyards etc for events and security, just like you promised Dan

Would you like me to mock up some accreditations for you and Dan? I could use his photo from above and if you have a suitable pic for "you" too I'll see what I can do over the weekend. I've got a hundred or so of the proper laminating pouches and can probably get an overpriced Man U lanyard from the local mobile phone shop for authenticity - then you can use the photos of the real thing or post it to him if you need a convincer. Offer's there anyway, PM me if you do Smile

(I hand wrote and laminated and lanyarded literally hundreds of these for McCartney/Kaisers/46664/etc - loses its romance after the first thousand or so)

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

Cilla cannot make contact.

His brother says dan is not available, he says dan is not online, but that he is working on the phone, cannot get anything else useful from him. Mom's phone is switched off, the sister says call back tomorrow. They say dan is working on the phone, whatever that means.

Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 9:08 am

@ manbiteslion Thanks, but I cant be bothered posting him things. A good mockup of a 'Manchester United Official Team Guest - access all areas' that I could email him would be cool - I can email him the copy and tell him the coach driver will have it for him.

Don't spend any money though, its really not necessary to convince Dab.

@ Redshoes, thanks for trying, a slap is on its way for wasting Cilla's valuable time.

Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 3:42 pm

Dan is being a whiney pain in the ass again, what's new?

Quote:

Ok dad that was a nice environment i love it,so you mean the club is now playing the match in Abuja??

they are no more going to Calabar??

please tell me so i can know how my movement is going to be,have'nt they given you people the mobile yet,i want to call you to hear your voice,you know it has been very long,how about Mr Les you promise to tell him to contact,including Cicilla,but i'm not receiving their e-mails.

From your son Dan

Quote:

Hi dan,

Cilla has been trying to reach you, you are busy working on the phone,
whatever that means, she has given up trying, we don't have time to
waste son, sorry.

Why you think I have, God only knows.

There is some confusion about Calabar or Abuja, we may play matches at each - I have conflicting information on my desk. Anyway, you and I
don't have to worry, just be there for the free coach to the Yankari
camp, the team coach will take us to the matches wherever they are
played, so it won't affect your movement, will it?

Dan I will type this slowly so you understand.

VODAFONE

WILL

GIVE

ME

THE

NIGERIAN

MOBILE

ON

THE

PLANE

Les, the agent, will talk to you at the camp, like me he is in
meetings all day trying to buy quality players, and hasn't time to
spend on young ragamuffins who think they are good enough to play for
us, but can't be bothered to turn up for a trial when I organise one.

You got emails from the camp? Cilla organised that for you, and sepnt
a whole evening trying to ring you, so don't say you don't hear
anything.

Roy

Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 8:26 am

He's on his way soon, I dont know what he wants me to send.

Quote:

Ok Dad if they do,send it to me,i am finding money i'll use in coming before the date ok.

manbiteslion, can you mock us up a pass? I can email it from an address he's not had before , acting as the Club Secretary.

Posted: Sat Jul 19, 2008 3:04 pm

Roy, doing it right now - I'll PM you when it's all done Smile

EDIT...see below

Piccies of the 'official pass' x 4...

http://pdrgpdrg.brinkster.net/img/CIMG2550.jpg
http://pdrgpdrg.brinkster.net/img/CIMG2551.jpg
http://pdrgpdrg.brinkster.net/img/CIMG2552.jpg
http://pdrgpdrg.brinkster.net/img/CIMG2553.jpg

and original artwork if you want to make your own (one of just Dan's pass, the other blank) ...

http://pdrgpdrg.brinkster.net/img/MUFC AFRICA DAN.pdf
http://pdrgpdrg.brinkster.net/img/MUFC AFRICA.pdf

For anyone wondering, AAA is Access All Areas, commonly used for accreditations

Double Edit - dammit, those spaces in the pdf links care causing trouble - copy the whole line from http to pdf, and paste it into a browser instead

Posted: Sat Jul 19, 2008 3:37 pm

At the risk of being flamed, or at least ignored, would someone please give me a rundown on exactly who Dan is. His age, location, the story thus far...

It almost seems as though you guys have fed him so much crap with so many different people as part of one story that he can't not believe it. Kind of hysterical. And in a way I almost feel bad for him.

Posted: Sat Jul 19, 2008 3:41 pm

The Blackwood Con - Take a look at the opening post on the thread. Roy Cropper has attached a link to show you the previous "Dan" thread so that you can familiarise yourself with this outstanding mugu.... Very Happy

Posted: Sat Jul 19, 2008 3:43 pm

I saw that. And then I realized that I was too lazy to read that entire thread.

Just a quick paragraph or two would be great. If this go is really as beloved a pet as you say so, you had might as well. It would make more people willing to jump in on the action. Right now the amount of past is too overwhelming to really do so, though.

Posted: Sat Jul 19, 2008 3:47 pm

Dan, 24, from Benin City, lotto lad/check lad/romance lad and gift beggar, constant "passive" forum member, i.e. being baited, since 2 (3?) years, greedy, stupid, rude, driven by low instincts, an annoyance, but a constant trophy provider, he surprizes us as much as he annoys us. Done some fantastic safaris, sent some incredibly silly looking trophies and believes some fantastic stories including soccer stars, celebrities and nameless philanthropists. He comes over as a lad with personality. Maybe this makes him so beloved by us. He has kind of a "story" and a character, bad, greedy but human. Eater´s black sheep.
I don´t know if it can be put any shorter Very Happy

Posted: Sat Jul 19, 2008 3:55 pm

He kind of sounds amazing. It makes me want to join in on the action if I wasn't so incredibly new.

I think I should probably get my hands dirty with a few other baits before jumping in.

Unless of course you want me to introduce him to one Hugo Reyes, who is traveling to Africa to pay a visit to the family of a dead friend of his. Hugo recently won 165 million in the lottery and will pay many thousand dolla for a good bush guide. The dead friend survived a plain crash on a deserted island. His name was Mr. Eko. He was a drug lord turned Catholic Priest after he got his Catholic Priest brother killed in a drug deal gone wrong. On that island, Eko became a new man. And then he was eaten by a giant smoke monstor. Many months later Hugo, whose nickname is Hurley, got off the island with many 5 other fellow survivors and has now returned home.

Honestly, I think that Dan is the only mugu who would take that story hook-line-and-sinker and not realize that anything was off. Or that he'd just been fed a good chunk of the plot from a TV show.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

^^^ I'm sure that Dan would believe it. The thing that is so damn frustrating about Dan though is that he is truly the laziest lad I have ever come across. He wouldn't cross the street to pick up $100. He wants everything handed to him on a silver platter. He promises everything, but rarely delivers. That's why getting him to safari is really a feather in ones hat.

And yes, he truly is that stupid.

Posted: Sat Jul 19, 2008 8:10 pm

Where did he go on safari?

That must have been great. Like Jayhawk said, Dan is the laziest lad I've ever baited.

Posted: Sat Jul 19, 2008 8:31 pm

I was thinking of a way to get him to take that Safari.

If you could convince him that Hugo was coming down and needed a personal driver (who would pay his driver $2,000 dollars a day for his 8 day trip), you might be able to convince Dan to go and buy a car, and then drive ALL the way to some airport to pick Hugo up.

Have him paint the car though with something funny, and make him take a picture so that when Hugo "arrives at the airport" he can recognize it. Have him paint something along the lines of "The Butt Mobile" (Bat Mobile) with a modified Bat Symbol of your direction on it. Tell him that it is Hugo's family crest and he will only ride in a car that had it painted on its side.

Of course, Hugo won't be at the airport, because Dan went to the wrong one. He was supposed to go to the airport in Cameroon, not the Ivory Coast. If he doesn't get his ass over there to pick Hugo up, Hugo will use his chairmen of the board seat on Interpol (LOL, they don't have one) and get Dan's girlfriend executed as a direct result of Dan's incompetence.

That's all I have thus far...

Posted: Sat Jul 19, 2008 8:51 pm

Worf wrote:

Where did he go on safari?

Three or four that I know of right now:
- From Benin City to Lagos
- From whereever (Benin City?) to W3ch1au
- From there to Kumasi (or did he only visit a relative, in this occasion?)
- From there to Tamale
...and most likely more than the one W3ch1au trip, for Roycropper... there was also some trip for BadKarma, maybe that´s the Kumasi one...it´s buried in the Eater archives...

Posted: Sat Jul 19, 2008 9:17 pm

The Blackwood Con wrote:

At the risk of being flamed, or at least ignored

I didn't realize that we are so unfriendly. Shocked