Dan safari copout

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Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 6:53 pm

Dan has thought of my nearly dismissed first t.w.4.t. priest

Quote:

10. Jul. (Vor 2 Tagen)
Dear Sir,

I was sorry i could'nt contacted you,is just that our internet service was bad here that was why,please sir can i give you a phone number you can use in calling me,because i lost my mobile to amrobbers last 2months so can i give you my brother phone number so you can call me?.

Hope to hear from you soon.

God bless from Dan

After 1 month of break, he told me he lost his mobile 2 months ago Rolling Eyes

Now I wonder, can anything be done with him? Dan seems to want to make triple sure that there is anybody anywhere waiting for him with toys and gifts...
I could try to be planning an inspection tour to Ibadan where I happened to have found a new church member...no idea yet. If Roy´s bait implicates a keep off, I´m happy with it. If not, I need a plan for Dan. Either way would suit me Smile

My plan would be that I could be inspecting the Ibadan pyramid... yes, I have iPhones and shoes in my suitase for Dan Wink

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

He got robbed AGAIN! Jeebus flirking schnit, that's his excuse every single time! He couldn't make it to the Tulip because he was robbed. He couldn't come claim his car because he was robbed. Does this idiot walk around with hundred dollar bills hanging out of his shirt, wearing a sign saying "please rob me"?

Don't take any of his crap. Either he wants the deal or he doesn't.

Posted: Sat Jul 12, 2008 12:04 am

Quote:

Darling Dan,

I thought you had forgotten about me. After so long of not hearing from you, I had given up hope that I would ever see you again.

I am in Nigeria now, no longer in Ghana. I had to come home to take care of my sick auntie. I left Barrister Soludo, I no longer work for him.

Have you heard from him? How are things between the two of you.

Kisses,
Cinnamon

Quote:

Honey can you come to benin city to see me,i am really missing you,i love you so much.

From your darling love Dan

So close, but yet so far Dan . . .

Quote:

Babe I am sorry. My auntie is so sick right now, I can not leave her for a moment. I am so sad. Tell me more about what you have been doing so that I can be happy. I have missed hearing from you so much.

Love,
Cinnamon

I forgot to mention the shoes. I'm sure he'll ask me about that next time.

Roy, if there's any way Cinnamon can help Dan travel without seeming too obvious, please let me know.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Worf, he should have the International Travel Certificate that you arranged for him to get. It's good everywhere, you know. Very Happy

Posted: Sat Jul 12, 2008 11:56 am

clearly dan can't hang on to a phone, because the armrobbers have got him twice now - so he has no arms left!

@ Frumpybb, you could over him salvation and a trip to Ibadan, but I would like to try and get him as near to the middle of nowhere as possible first, in search of Simba's camp.

Sleepless has found a link to Nigerian bus routes etc, I have pm'd it to Simba, so his camp can help dan on his way. I have warned him that Dan is so hopeless, we will have to practically see him to the bus stop.

the thing with dan is, you wait for ages, then he sends 3 emails at once, like buses. He is very sorry for missing Cilla's call, and pestering me for phone numbers, more photos etc etc. He can sod off.

Quote:

Hello Dad,

How are you,i hope you are fine.well why i could'nt pickup the phone yesterday was because we went to a party and when we came back we where very tired.please tell her to call again and give me her e-mail address too so we can keep intouch with each other.

Please when will you help me get the agent?.

From Dan

Quote:

Just tell her to call the same time she called yesterday or 3hours from now,anytime that will be convinient for her please dad ok,but dad i still need more picture of you and Alex,and someother players please,just do this for me.

From your son Dan

Quote:

Which player are you making a contract of 3million Euros?
can anyone find out, damned if I know?

Dad please send me your mobile number please,i promise dad i won't disturb you please,since i have known you,i have'nt heard your voice please dad do this for me please Dad.

I love you,and please tell your secretary to contact me through e-mail and tell the private company too.

From your son Dan

@RS and Simba, I'll pm you the email he's using. Just tell him his accomodation has been reserved for the dates 23rd to 28 July, details to follow etc etc

Quote:

Dan,

I'm busy as hell today, do you know our coach, Carlos Queiroz,
has buggered off to Portugal.

Christiano will be off for a long time, and is whining we treat him
like a slave, despite
all the money we pay him.

I'll pass your email on to Cilla and the safari camp.

Must go, the phone is always ringing, which is why I don't want you
pestering me for money on it as well.

Roy

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

It was "convinient" for Cilla to call him in the middle of the night. He said the pajamas did not need to be "that big" and something about 150. He would not explain that. Then he said any size is fine. He did not sound like he is planning to travel.

Posted: Sat Jul 12, 2008 12:29 pm

150 what?

Dan is fair...after having heard me complaining about feeling left out, he comes back repeatedly, just the way Roy predicts above:

Quote:

since the last time i emailed you i have not heard from you why?

I´m leaving everything open:

Quote:

Dear Signore D,

I have not heard from you and you have not done a single strp towards our church, that´s why Reverend Johnny Dodds and I have been continuing to look for able souls and young men full of spirit d to fight our fight against atheism, intolerance and for spreading the Word of Lord.

How could you contribute?

Wonder what he replies...Johnny Dodds by the way is a jazz musician. The church is a very musical one Smile

EDIT Found him also in my Aglaia account. Stylelessly he asks when I could send him the money Rolling Eyes

which money? I guve him a polite shove off, but I guess a mule being in the stall already won´t hinder Casanova:

Quote:

My dear good friend,

I´ve received your message but I need to prepare a few things. besides, my boyfriend Erdo is coming over Smile

so I will have time for you on Sunday - remember there is love, not only money. Sorry if it´s imüportant for you Wink

Bye

Posted: Sat Jul 12, 2008 2:26 pm

Having read several threads regarding the unstoppable Dan, I have come to the conclusion that at last there is someone to whom this quote applies.

Charles to his friend Buddy on "Charles In Charge":

Quote:

Buddy, you have the IQ of cloth.

Posted: Sat Jul 12, 2008 3:30 pm

Cloth can be much cleverer than Dan.

We need to decide where we are sending Dan to catch the safari bus. It needs to be a long way away, but somewhere he can get to by bus. I'll have a look at the link sleepless sent me to see what looks do-able.

Anyway, after Cilla's call, he is lukewarm to trot, if still suspicious of me, can't think why. Laughing

Quote:

Ok,

Please tell the place the private company buses will be so i can take it to camp to come and meet you,i need your mobile number so that when i get to the camp i will call you,please dad just give me the mobile line i promise i will not be pestering you please i beg you ok.

Send me all the necessary details i need to get to the camp.

From Dan

i recieved her call

Quote:

Hi Dan,

I have no idea where the camp company buses pickup, it's nothing to do with me.
Be patient, there is plenty of time left, and they WILL be in touch.

Mrs Batt3rsby-Br0wn says she managed to speak to you at last,
and has the sizes for your complimentary pyjamas, we also needed
the size for an Official MUFC Tour tracksuit, that all our party wear.
You will have to wear one too, you can keep it afterwards. I attach a photo.

Vodafone, one of our sponsors, will be giving us all new phones when
we get to Nigeria, i will call you as soon as I have mine, or get Cilla to give you the number. So you will get to speak to me, again, just be patient.

I won't be taking my current phone on tour with me, it won't work in
Africa anyway, due to the International Gillheim Restriction bar.

Do you think I'm some sort of photo model? I work behind the scenes
for the club, I don't go swanning off to photoshoots with Sir Alex and the lads, we're all to damn busy.

Cilla said you didn't seem very keen to travel, you are an ungrateful
little sod sometimes, what with everything I try and arrange for you. What's up?

You could be playing for us by now, or a Porn Star working for
my friend , but no, everything
is too much trouble for you, isn't it?

Anyway, see you soon, don't let me down this time.
I will introduce you to Les when we are in the
It sounds very nice, i am looking forward to it.

Keep in touch with me and Cilla,

Roy

Posted: Sat Jul 12, 2008 7:00 pm

Roycropper wrote:

We need to decide where we are sending Dan to catch the safari bus. It needs to be a long way away, but somewhere he can get to by bus. I'll have a look at the link sleepless sent me to see what looks do-able.

My plan for the modality was to make collections from Abuja, because that would be a logical place for overseas flights to arrive for Yankar1.
If mugu gets to Abuja, then goal posts are moved, and he then has to make his own way to Yankar1 NP by taxi.
All expenses to be refunded by SSC of course.

As soon as you confirm where you want the collection, I'll create his shuttle bus ticket and Email his welcome letter.. Very Happy

Posted: Sat Jul 12, 2008 7:22 pm

Dan is still looking for some lovin' from Cinnamon, but like you guys said, he's too lazy to travel for it:

Quote:

honey i want to hold you by my side i am missing you too much please honey when can you come please,i want to feel your sexy body and hold you by me side.,i need you morethan as everbefore.

From your love Dan

Posted: Sun Jul 13, 2008 7:13 am

He is straight to the point to Aglaia:

Quote:

So love,tell me when are you sending the money,i believe you can send it on=
tuesday?
from your love Dan

Quote:

How do you do dan dxxxx ,
Dear Dan,
sorry about this mess. This was Erdogan´s computer, it seems I´ve sent you his signature line and an empty email only.
Dear beloved, can you write me a poem just for me? Then I will see what I can do for you on Tuesday... Smile

Love, Aglaia

Expecting some strange crap to come... Smile

Posted: Sun Jul 13, 2008 10:51 am

Quote:

Yes dad i get you,i'll love to travel to have a wonderful time with me,immediately you get your mobile line,including cilla's own send it to me dad immediately i'll give you a call,and how is everybody i hope they are fine.

Well i like the way she speaks,so when are you introducing me to my agent,i hope it will be sooner,because i really need to start i good life dad,send me his e-mail address so that we can also interact with each other.

And tell your secretary to keep intouch with me through e-mail and phones ok.

i am grateful dad love you,i hope you keep intouch with me with latest update.

From your son Dan

Abuja sounds good to me, its logical, far enough away for Dan, on the way to Jos, he has an uncle there to stay the night with, and possibly borrow his taxi fare to nowhere.

maybe bus from abuja to Jos, then taxi?

I hope the team's flight isn't diverted at the last minute, so Dan has to make his own way.

Posted: Sun Jul 13, 2008 1:10 pm

Roycropper wrote:

I hope the team's flight isn't diverted at the last minute, so Dan has to make his own way.

The only bit of concern I have is with the man-eating African snails of Yankar1.
I just hope that they don't attack the safari camp to feast on Wayne Rooney... Shocked

Or else the squad would have to relocate to the nearest SSC which is in K0rup NP, Cameroon... Confused

I'll get the tickets and stuff sent out today RC... Wink

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 01 Dec 2005 Posts: 4

Read this and thought of this bait
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/7505395.stm

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 8:30 am

/\/\

Quote:

One gang which was confronted pretended to be Manchester United officials working with manager Sir Alex Ferguson.

I hope I'm not baiting the BBC by accident!

I've baited football lads before, I once got one to write 100 pages of Dracula out by hand.

Simba sent me the tickets and bookings for the camp. If he'd sent me the tickets for the Weatherfield Safari Experience (go hunting black puddings with whippets, wearing safari flat caps) I'd be convinced, and out there now, waiting for the safari bus in the rain.

Dan isn't helping things by doing his usual 1 day at the cafe, 3 days in bed routine. Rolling Eyes

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 8:35 am

Roycropper wrote:

Simba sent me the tickets and bookings for the camp.......I'd be convinced, and out there now, waiting for the safari bus in the rain.

Well lets hope that Daninio is taken in by his E-tickets.
He sounds like he will be a fun lad to have on safari.. Very Happy

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 9:51 am

Dan was so excited he broke into capitals! Doesn't stop him pestering me, if I could be bothered I'd go and get another prepaid SIM card for my old muguphone.

Quote:

Dad i haVE'NT HEARD FROM YOU,I RECEIVED THEIR EMAIL AND BOOKING REFERENCE.PLEASE DAD HAS VODAFONE NOT GIVEN YOU THE MOBILE NUMBER,IMMEDIATELY THEY DO PLEASE SEND ME YOUR AND THE ONE OF CILLA INCLUDING ROONEYS OWN.

fROM YOUR SON DAN

Quote:

Pester Pester Pester, there you go again Dan.

The Vodafone rep will give us all a brand new phone,
a Nokia 7510 Supernova, whatever that is,
setup to Nigerian time and frequencies, on the plane out to Abuja.

How on earth am I going to know the number until I get it?
You can have the thing when I leave, it'll be no good to me.

You think I'd give you Wayne's number? I gave you David
Beckhams email and you tried to scam him!!
Besides, Wayne is too stupid to work a mobile, Colleen keeps his in her handbag.

Cilla and I are very busy today, we are trying to buy Dimitar Berbatov,
but Spurs want £30 Million! You didn't hear that from me though, it's
supposed to be a secret.

I'll ask Cilla to ring you again when she gets time.

Roy

RS? Early hours of the morning Dan time convenient ? Smile

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

Sure, let me know what you want Cilla to say. Fiona got a one word message from Dan. He says, "hello". He does not even try.

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 12:36 pm

@ Redshoes
He's embarrassed cos he left you in the hands of the evil Interpol.

Do you have a different voice as Cilla, or reply on his natural stupidity?

Dan just wants reassuring, everything he has gone through with us before has not gone entirely smoothly Smile

and even he is a tad suspicious, hence all the request for phone numbers.

Just say Mr Cr0pper is really busy, but he and the agent L3s Batt3rsby are looking forward to spending some time with him at the S1mba 5afari camp. (So are you Wink

). If he asks, you are not authorized to let him have anyone's phone number.

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 12:40 pm

Roycropper wrote:

You think I'd give you Wayne's number?
I gave you David Beckham's email and you tried to scam him!!

Quality.... Laughing

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

Fiona hasn't spoken to Dan in a long time. He didn't seem to notice that the voice is the same.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

The best way to get Dan to do ANYTHING is by going directly to the little noodle between his legs. If you can get "little Dan" to do the thinking you can get him to do pretty much anything.

J0nes has turned up the pressure on Dan, and is emailing him at least once a day. Dan hasn't responded, but I'm sure at some point J0nes will get a quality response from him.

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 2:12 pm

I´m left out as well : Well, what can I do to stimulate little Dan? Nothing Laughing

I´m more a cash cow, at best!

it´s more than satisfying to watch events unfolding. SSC surely do great work Thumbs up

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

I think I know what happened to Dan all the time he was gone. He was obviously in China:

Quote:

Dear Mrs Jenny,

I am very sorry for the delay,the company sent some of our workers to china,so i was sent to supervise them that was why the delay was cause,we are very sorry for the inconviniences.
Please i just wanted to inform to transfer your courier charges ,because we have finish processing all the necessary paperwork for the delivery of your goods,so all you have to do is to send the money with those payment details i gave you to Canada so that the courier service can confirm your payment and start making preparation of delivering your parcel.

Regards,
P0tter

That one was sent to Jenny, who Dan has been trying to get $10k out of for about a year and a half now. I can always tell when Dan has something going on and needs cash because he always tries to hit Jenny up for some fees.