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Posted: Sun Jul 06, 2008 5:19 am

My barrister asked me to send money to a bank account in the UK, which must suddenly have been killed while I was making the payment. I get frantic messages telling me that the account is being audited, and I shouldn't be paying money into it and to send the money to another account.

Well, it's very difficult to stop these international transactions once they're under way, so I asked for a signed and sealed "stop-loss order" from the bank. He came back to me and said it would cost $10,000 (from a British bank??). I queried the amount, and we settled on GBP2,500. He told me in the first message that he had $3,000, and could I send him the rest.

Happily, Japan is very ill-served by WU and Moneygram, but I was accused of prolonging the process.

The barrister wrote:

I don't know why you are prolonging this,I have money to use for other important thing also. All I have for this right now and all that I can afford is 1500pounds and you have to make the remainning part today or tommorow. Please do something to get that money send to me so that I can get the stop-loss order from the bank by Monday.

My reply:

I wrote:

Dear Barrister

You are not serious about this transaction, I can tell by the fact you are making no effort here.

I am not prolonging this. Maybe you would like to look at the Western Union and Moneygram websites. There is one and only one Western Union agency in Japan (and only one branch in the whole of Tokyo). There is one and only one Moneygram agent in Tokyo. These agencies are both banks and they are closed on Sunday. There is no way to get money to you on a Sunday. OK, s***wit?

Do not tell me I am prolonging this. It was your f***ing fault for trusting those idiots in the bank that we are in this mess now. I told you that they were wrong, and you said they were right. Well, who was right, Mr. smartass lawyer who can't even get a couple of hundred pounds together to put something right he that f***ed up? Maybe all your other clients decided you were a waste of space, too, which is why you have no money now.

Monday your time will be much too late. You must resign yourself to the fact that this transaction is now in the international system and cannot be stopped.

I feel better after that...

** Retired ** Joined: 14 May 2007 Posts: 750 Location: Air

He brought it on himself. Nice slap !